Differentiate Cash You from Social You

[Worldisyours]

Hello All

I have been reading many posts on this sub forum that feels like some sort of trap, I would like to offer a bit of of advice to some reoccurring believes spread across many posts in the relationship forum.

I read alot of members posting that they have cut off friends/people/family because they are either slowlane/ do not understand/hurtful/hindering.

I would like to ask, why do you put yourself in a position, enough to end a relationship when someone threatens your path?. Why have you defined those actions as threatening?. What are the emotions you felt?. Are they Anger, bitterness, disappointment? Why do they even ask? Why do they feel this way?

The difference between me and you is.

I don't need people around me to be faslane, because I am already it. I don't need to get rid of my friends because I am the person that changed, not them. ME. And I did not even change, I was always the same guy, I just implemented my ability to a certain part of my life. And that part involves money, whether it takes all my time or not.

Do you understand what I am trying to say, you are the same person, they are the same people. and even if you did change, How do they know you changed?. Did you show them?.

Don't mix the business/work you with your social life, its the same.. keep it as is and be the same guy you always were. You are hard at work all week, and lets say you go meet up with some old friends. Just be the same you you always were to them. And when you see your family, be their crutch. They are all wounded soilders and you are the apachee helicopter trying who throw the rope down. Who are you to judge them for being slow lane, they can't move. Fastlane is great but only to us, because we value fastlane, some people value other things.

When people ask me what I do I tell them I have a job. When they say I am wrong, I say yes, I am wrong. Why? because it makes no difference to me at all, it irrelevant to my path because they don't get it, there is no way they can help me in the first place.I would rather be neutral with people thank seek their approval that my path needs to be respected. The only time I have enemies or people I dislike is if they they try to rob or kill me. I have built myself from ground zero, I am here to HELP, guide, inspire, lead, help these people. They look up to me. They need me and my support. I am strong, they are weak. I do it for those that cannot. This is one thing you have to understand.

Many of you have to change your frame and be less negative about relationships, and how they attack your path. The only person attacking your path is yourself. If you feel that you are the victim, a victim in a scenario, guess what? YOU ARE THE VICTIM. This is also a part of not fighting energy directed to you, but to just let is go through you and be unaffected by it. Its just going to get bored and go to someone else who feeds off of it. Me and my partners call it " brawl of the minds"

 

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[Black Wolf]

I agree.

When it gets to the level where people have become toxic elements in your life, then it's probably wise to stay clear of them.

Lay down with dogs and you get fleas. It's true.

That said, if you're doing it out of some sense of elitism you're not what I'd consider a person of good character. Consider if you'd never picked up MJ's book or certain other factors in your life hadn't been conducive in making you take stock of your situation in great depth, are you then one of the profane who haven't obtained the arcane knowledge?

One of the things I have learned from reading TMF , along with a new found sense of urgency is the concept of providing value. Cutting people out of your life because you're think you're better is a recipe for loneliness. Enjoy the view from the top of your ivory tower.

Other people provide lessons of their own and help you grow. If that sounds new-agey and hippy-esque - sorry. If anything you reflect upon yourself by communicating with others and you grow as a person - and vice-versa.

Sharing knowledge, providing value.

You cut people out you stagnate.

Everyone is a different stage on their own personal journey.

 

[MorgothBauglir]

Can't say I agree. Some people are toxic to be around, and they will sabotage you and your goals, either on purpose or just through constant negativity.

I don't think you should cut someone off in an elitist, superior manner, as if you are too good for them, because you could have been them were you to experience similar circumstances.

But you have to be realistic. The negative patterns and behaviors of the people that are close to you will affect you on a subconscious level. People can become a liability, and you can't save everyone by yourself.

Being mindful of the people I surround myself with has never come back to bite me in the a$$. Hanging out with the wrong people has.

 

[MJ DeMarco]

Sorry but people have an energy inherent to them. Some people drain energy and suck the life out of you. I'm not interested in being around them, or being around the drama they present. I don't want to hear how life short-changed you, or how "the man" is keeping you down while you roll around on your couch and watch the latest episode of the Big Bang Theory. It has nothing to do with "elitism" or a "Fastlane is better than Slowlane" thing, but with the fact some people live their lives as energy draining victims, while others live their lives with gratitude. I can think of several people who I know who are pure Slowlane, but I love being around them because they are energetic, happy, and overall, thankful for the life they have.

 

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[bensonj]

Sorry but people have an energy inherent to them. Some people drain energy and suck the life out of you.

MJ I call them Energy Vampires! I AVOID them like the plague! Family, friends, whatever! Down/depressed energy is heavy and I don't do Heavy!

Sometimes you have to prune back the dead weight in order to grow.

 

[Black Wolf]

Sorry but people have an energy inherent to them. Some people drain energy and suck the life out of you. I'm not interested in being around them, or being around the drama they present. I don't want to hear how life short-changed you, or how "the man" is keeping you down while you roll around on your couch and watch the latest episode of the Big Bang Theory. It has nothing to do with "elitism" or a "Fastlane is better than Slowlane" thing, but with the fact some people live their lives as energy draining victims, while others live their lives with gratitude. I can think of several people who I know who are pure Slowlane, but I love being around them because they are energetic, happy, and overall, thankful for the life they have.

Your opinion reflects mine completely.

There's only so much you can tolerate when the people around you exude constant negativity and a whiney sense of entitlement. I cut out a toxic friend of mine from my life a few years back - but it had nothing to do with with his side walk attitude.

It was because he thought that life owed them something and was bitter about everything. He defined himself and his identity by the problems he had - being bipolar, losing a father early etc - I am not saying they aren't problems to gloss over, but at the end of the day I am not there to be a guidance counselor.

You can only give some many words of encouragement/sympathy before it's time to close the door on certain relationships.

I'd known this guy for over a decade too and was pretty much my only friend the tail end of my twenties. Had I not moved away from where I'd grown up to pursue my admittedly slow lane job, I have this nagging feeling he'd still want to hang out.

I know my share of people with slow lane attitudes. One or two with a side walk attitude - They're not bad people. They are content with their lives and their jobs and they don't project misery on to others.

The distinction I am making is if you cut yourself off from otherwise happy people of depth, who aren't negative and don't have a sense of entitlement because you see yourself as better - on the basis of "I'm fastlane, you're slowlane, I'm better, you're inferior" narcissism of a sort, you're ironically no better than the people you seek to stand apart from.

One might think - why would you do that? that doesn't make any sense - that's silly.

But I ultimately think that's the point OP is trying to get at.

Some might enter into this all with that mindset, especially if they're a bit younger and not as older and wiser.

 

[BJBossman]

What do you do with people who are good people, but they're just very happy and content to be E's? They're fun guys to grab a drink with and catch a game but they're not going to make me grow as a person or a professional but they're not bad people and haven't really done any harm.

I just have spent less time with them but I still try to text them once in a while and catch up every so often because they are my friends.

 

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[Kak]

My business life is my social life.

 

[GuestUserX15]

You are a product of your environment. You are like the people you spend time with. 6 tomatoes and 5 are rotten, wont be long before 6th is rotten as well!

 

[Worldisyours]

There are toxic people who are wealthy as well, in fact many.

well as someone else posted, my free time is minimal, few hours a week.

Anyways, I would hope I have enough character and will power to keep on my path and not have it destroyed by those around me

 

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[Worldisyours]

You are a product of your environment. You are like the people you spend time with. 6 tomatoes and 5 are rotten, wont be long before 6th is rotten as well!

what if you are a Rock and not a tomato?

 

[GuestUserX15]

what if you are a Rock and not a tomato?

don't know, perhaps you can share some wisdom.

 

[RogueInnovation]

I like the idea of differentiation.
Like "look when I do biz I am no one's friend, when I am here I am not businessman, if you ask me business stuff I'll answer it as a friend, but I won't get into it very deep. If you want a mentor etc, if you work hard I'll help you find one".

Just don't immediately serve expectations, or tout yourself. Be humble, respect yourself and your time, and if someone is a douche, kindly stop them and get on with better stuff.

 

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[Worldisyours]

don't know, perhaps you can share some wisdom.

It can take the will of many men to not be swayed by other men.

It can take the will of one man to change many lives

experience the first to gain the second

 

[Worldisyours]

Update to everyone, I still see my Slow lane friends 1-2 times a week. fro a few hours. Its my off time,

I can easily say that hanging out with my slow lane buddies has helped my fastlane life. I am so caught up with business and working hard all the time, coming up with great things, I need a break to hang out with the regular folks. I find that it lowers my stress to blow a few hours away a week doing nothing and having laughs with my slow lane buddies.

At the end of the day we are better than no body. I often have my best and most interesting conversations with waiters and cooks. People need to understand its really tough to become successful. Not everyone can do it.

Much luck to all you guys

 

[Silverhawk851]

The problem here is true, you don't have to cut off your friends/family as a fastlaner, but at the same time you must realize that becoming a Fastlaner requires massive amounts of time and effort towards a specific goal.

Most people splurge excessively on their friends not with money, but their time. Time that is supposed to be used working on Fastlane. It's not about cutting them off, it's about using your time wisely.

If it makes you happy to support the person and it's worth the time, don't think twice about it and do it.

But if a certain friend is high all day long, screams murder about the economy but has no job, just criticizes your fastlane efforts all day long, eats away at your motivation, is it really worth your time?

Sometimes, you just outgrow certain people. Friends are based on having similar interests, commonalities. A true rapport exists when you feel, "yeah, this person is like me." on some level.

If you have nothing in common, opposite views on everything, no value being added to each other, on what basis can you call it a thriving relationship?

 

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[Worldisyours]

The problem here is true, you don't have to cut off your friends/family as a fastlaner, but at the same time you must realize that becoming a Fastlaner requires massive amounts of time and effort towards a specific goal.

Most people splurge excessively on their friends not with money, but their time. Time that is supposed to be used working on Fastlane. It's not about cutting them off, it's about using your time wisely.

If it makes you happy to support the person and it's worth the time, don't think twice about it and do it.

But if a certain friend is high all day long, screams murder about the economy but has no job, just criticizes your fastlane efforts all day long, eats away at your motivation, is it really worth your time?

Sometimes, you just outgrow certain people. Friends are based on having similar interests, commonalities. A true rapport exists when you feel, "yeah, this person is like me." on some level.

If you have nothing in common, opposite views on everything, no value being added to each other, on what basis can you call it a thriving relationship?

spot on mate