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What would you tell your 18 or 25 year old self?

DWX

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Be consistent. Do what moves the needle every. single. day. No matter how small. The compound effect is VERY real.

Also, look after your health. Without it, you've got nothing.
 

Daniel A

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Or, our childhood traumas can be the inspiration that fuels our lives. Adversity is NOT the destructive root of all evil. It tempers us, giving us strength and flexibility. It's also just an event or fact that we can choose to reframe. The story can be retold from a different point of view. I am no one's victim. In my journey, I am a hero who accepted the lemon I was given. From that sour situation, I have made a nice pitcher of lemonade that soothes the parched throats of everyone around me. My determined attitude and fortitude allow me to live out that hero's role that I have given myself in this story. It's all bound up in your personal choices.

Post-traumatic growth


 
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Andy Black

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Was skimming this thread and this comment jumped out at me:

Making money is simple - numerous forum posts on here detail exactly how to do it. The discipline and humility required to execute on the knowledge gained is the hard part
 

ekateriv

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For me:

1. The "no brainer" decisions are the ones you should question the most.
2. Just because you're winging it doesn't mean you're a fraud or a failure.
3. Trust your gut. A million times this.
4. Worry less about what other people think and stop trying to please or impress your parents or strangers especially if you don't find *them* all that impressive.
5. Know the difference between cumulative and single-event probabilities.
6. Stop wasting time arguing with others. Focus on achieving your goals instead.

See the pattern? At the end of the day it's all about mindset. I grew up quite anxious because it was drilled in my head early that I was not good enough. I could've saved myself a lot of stress and some trips to ER in my early twenties if I had a little more faith in myself and the belief that everything's gonna be okay as long as I work on my goals. I also wasted a lot of time trying to fit into the conventional frame of success, which I ultimately did and am now trying to leave behind.
There were warnings. In my mid-twenties I briefly dated two different fastlaners and when I told them I have an admission secured to a top business school, both asked me "are you going?". One flat out told me that I have an entrepreneur DNA and I should skip the BS school. They were literally the only persons who ever questioned it - it was a no-brainer for everyone else. I'm still paying off those loans and it's been an expensive lesson to learn, but I've also learned to forgive myself and ultimately I'm happy where I am and pretty excited about where I'm headed - even if it took some detours.
 
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matveyDev

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Read more books, make mistakes while you are young.
Save money for your ideas, businesses.
Don’t clubbing, e.t.c.
Appreciate your time.
Don’t stop studying.(You need a fuel, remember the fastlane book!)
Do what do you need, don’t what you want.
 

Antifragile

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What advice would you give to your 21 year old self?

When you're 21, there's a lot of things that you think you know for sure. But in reality, you're just starting to learn about life and all of its complexities.

The best advice I would give to my 21 year old self is to own my situation. I am where I am because of the decisions I have made. I am responsible. And the future will come about from new decisions that I make. So, it is important to focus on providing value to as many people as possible. This will help me grow as a person and as an entrepreneur. By helping others, I will be able to achieve more in life and business.

Here are other lessons I learned along the way:
  1. Always be learning. No matter how successful you become, there's always more to learn. Keep reading, attending seminars and networking with other business owners. The more knowledge you have, the better equipped you'll be to succeed.
  2. Don't give up. There will be times when things don't go the way you planned, and you'll feel like giving up. But don't let those negative thoughts take over - push through the tough times and keep going.
  3. Stay focused on your goals. It's easy to get sidetracked by things that aren't important, but if you want to be successful, you need to stay focused on what you're trying to achieve. Write your goals down and refer to them often to keep yourself on track.
  4. Don't be afraid to ask for help. There's no shame in admitting that you don't know something and asking for help. In fact, most successful people have a strong network of mentors and advisors they can rely on for support.
  5. Believe in yourself. You're your own biggest advocate, so believe in yourself and your ability to succeed. When you have confidence in yourself, others will too.
Special thanks to @Hanabi for prompting this thread:

I'm not personally interested in RE development at my stage in life right now, perhaps in the future. I think others on the forum interested in entering RE would love it. However, I listened to your interview on Kak's podcast, and I really enjoyed it. It was the first episode of his I listened. I like your thought process about entrepreneurship. If you wrote a post about the biggest lessons you learned on your entrepreneurship journey, mindset changes to take your business to the next level, tactics you've used to enter a hard business field, leveraging capital effectively, life wisdom in general, and etc., I think it would be cool and beneficial for a lot of us. If not, I guess I'll be the one eager person to read it.

Here are my answers (and thanks for asking!):

"post about the biggest lessons you learned on your entrepreneurship journey"​


It is not about me. The world doesn't care about what I want, what I love to do etc. No one cares!

The biggest lesson was when I failed a few businesses in my 20s. Back then I focused on money. I thought if I had an idea and a product - I'd be successful. But I don't bring anything valuable to the table! Obvious opportunities were obvious to everyone else too and I failed. There is a reason why tax accountants make more money than regular accountants - because tax is hard and no one wants to do it. Money is just the result of providing value. That's the biggest lesson. And the rest are the basis of this post, see above for the "What advice would you give to your 21 year old self?".

"mindset changes to take your business to the next level"​


@Kak made it sound like my business is this "next level" but in my mind it is not, not yet. It is still a start up with only 12 employees and a small downtown office. Real estate has large numbers, but I stand behind my opinion that now is not the time for me to talk about "next level". Ask me in 10 years again please.

"tactics you've used to enter a hard business field"​


Real Estate development is hard for two reasons: one, it is very complex and two, it requires large capital. Entry is incredibly hard. To do that I devised a simple plan. I needed to a) find experienced partners and b) learn how to raise capital. Then I got lucky when I landed a job that got me access to both. The rest is... as they say - history.

"leveraging capital effectively"​

How to use the available financial resources in a way that maximizes profits and minimizes risk?

There are a few things to consider when leveraging capital. First, it's important to make sure that the investment is worth the risk. There needs to be a good chance of getting a return on investment, or ROI. Second, it's important to make sure that the company has the cash flow to cover the loan. And finally, it's important to make sure that the terms of the loan are favorable and that the interest rates are reasonable.

"life wisdom in general"​

I often ask myself "What would you do if you knew you couldn't fail?" I then work on a plan to get it done.



This is a great way to end the first post and leave with the same question to readers: What advice would you give to your 21 year old self?

let's go...
 

Antifragile

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I guess my other advice to myself (and now) is to learn to search the forum before making a thread. @MJ DeMarco :eek:
 
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MJ DeMarco

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Larry AA

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Listen to your head and heart. Immediately do what you know you're supposed to do. Keep learning. Read 4hww. Read TMF . Never stop. Pay off debt. Take a trip alone where you want to visit most. If you want something work really hard to get it. Stay single.
Stay single, why?

Could you educate me on why you said so?

I'm 20 years old though. And turning 21 by 18th of this month.
 

Black_Dragon43

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- There’s no one looking out for you… nobody will make your dreams happen, not even the people who love you. It’s all on you.
- Learn as much as you can. Focus on listening to things 2-3x faster and learn speed reading while still maintaining comprehension. If you can download information into your brain faster than anyone else, you will, sooner or later, outpace them.
- Focus on solving unmet needs and specific problems. That’s where the money is, and that’s the “secret”. Stop focusing so much on just making another sale or persuasion and build a business - look for ways to be more useful to more people.
- Be committed to the people you’re helping, not to your product or service. The people are number 1.
- Learn to get what you want without being aggressive, being aggressive may give you quick and very satisfying wins, but it makes other people lose their trust in you and will harm you in the long run.
- Buy the knowledge you need, don’t “figure it out yourself”, which will take you much longer.
- Stop cold calling and writing cold emails, and focus on building relationships via social media and using automated systems for lead generation.
- Always have your contracts in order and maintain an upper hand in all negotiations by being better informed.
- Never do something if you’re not going to do it well. It’s better to leave it undone than to do a bad job.

Just some which are top of mind. Hope you guys find them useful :)
 

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Read This My Old Friend,
Consider getting to know yourself better. So much better that no one else can determine your state of happiness. Because your happiness is found within yourself, your attitude. And no one can change your attitude, except you. Again consider asking who am I and what is it I want? Knowing who you are is first pillar of inner confidence. Obtaining this pillar is when things start to become an enjoyable game. It's when people start smiling at you because you take the initiative to smile at them. Understanding your goals, your action, and decisions WILL enable you to laugh(perhaps even cry) at failures and rejection and keep going. Forward! Keep going... that's the most important part. Step by step you will walk the thousand mile road. No one can take your happiness away from you.
 
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MJ DeMarco

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Here's a "letter to younger self" letter from an NFL football player...

Long read, but just wow. Wow, that's some trauma to deal with.

 

DWX

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Here's a "letter to younger self" letter from an NFL football player...

Long read, but just wow. Wow, that's some trauma to deal with.

Damn, what a rough ride he's had so far. Makes you count your blessings.
 

Torix

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Stop reading fiction and start reading business & personal development books.
Learn to manage your work time efficiently.
Also, stop watching meaningless, pretentious Tiktok videos and start educating yourself about financial literacy ;)
 
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Ronnie Bryan

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For you 25 yr old+ guys out there, if you could go back in time, and tell your 25 year old self something, what would you say?
Focus on learning a trade or mastering a skill.Working at Walmart or restaurants is not the only jobs you can get.Show companies you are valuable. Quit thinking you are not good enough but that you are enough.
 

fastlane_dad

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This one is a no brainer.

Spend a bit of time early on learning the financial markets, how they operate, and what to invest in. This should be STEP #1 of the fastlane process as it's so important to learn it early on, as you are building up your fastlane business - and financial acumen simultaneously. Don't put this one off!

See more here ... Investing
 
Last edited:

Ray C.

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Take action NOW. Life is going to get in the way very soon.
Thank you so much for this. Too commonly I say to myself, "I only have 20 minutes to work on this project; there isn't enough time for it to be worth it" or even "I'm waiting for an email today, and once I finish responding, then I can worry about project XYZ". I think about this all the time now and it keeps me motivated even when I'm busy.
 
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NickVGreen

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To my 25 y.o. self with regards to mindset and self-development:
  • Don't bother trying for a political science M.A.; you have no use for it and can just as well read the assigned reading on your own
  • Read Tony Robbins' Unlimited Power in order to understand what he means by the term "belief" and reassociating your thought patterns; you already think along these lines and will be ready to apply them
  • Read the Durants' Lessons of History and free yourself from the socio-political script by taking the wider perspective
  • Stop resisting your innate call toward belief and understand that your growing hard determinism does not necessarily exclude a Creator, even though all pre-existing beliefs you have come in contact with are themselves flawed and do not reflect reality
  • While your intentional derangement against long-term thinking (the idea that nothing is worth much effort because it can always be taken away) was a useful technique to destress following being raped, it is now a hindrance and you will be better off the sooner you redress this
  • You likely have social anxiety or some other makeup that drains you of energy when you are social; make sure to reduce your socializing in order to maintain energy levels and avoid exhaustion-triggered depression
  • Work on becoming more deliberate on what you want in life and recognize that you can start from scratch in something new if it is better aligned with your interests, skills and talents; your "investment" so far does not need to determine where you will go from here
 

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How did you silence it please?
It’s quite challenging, but those who have done it said it was worth it. Gandhi said it “required the patience of emptying an ocean with a teacup”. You basically silence the voice by focusing the mind on something specific. For example, when meditating, your supposed to focus on you breath, and eventually the voice will disappear. Eventually, you want to progress to the point where you meditate while doing everyday activities. For example, still focused on your breath while doing the dishes, walking about, working etc. It will keep you grounded, and prevents you from going unconscious repeating and old behavior and thought patterns.
 

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How did you silence it please?
When you hear the inner voice, challenge it. Correct it. Change it to a better perspective. Don't chide yourself. You can admit that no one is perfect. Then just change the message. You can change a thought that you never do anything right to reciting a list of all your successes. You can talk to the guy in the mirror and tell him that he's OK and make a plan to do better. You don't silence your inner voice. You simply give yourself a better message to absorb.
 
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Boy Muhammad

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- There’s no one looking out for you… nobody will make your dreams happen, not even the people who love you. It’s all on you.
- Learn as much as you can. Focus on listening to things 2-3x faster and learn speed reading while still maintaining comprehension. If you can download information into your brain faster than anyone else, you will, sooner or later, outpace them.
- Focus on solving unmet needs and specific problems. That’s where the money is, and that’s the “secret”. Stop focusing so much on just making another sale or persuasion and build a business - look for ways to be more useful to more people.
- Be committed to the people you’re helping, not to your product or service. The people are number 1.
- Learn to get what you want without being aggressive, being aggressive may give you quick and very satisfying wins, but it makes other people lose their trust in you and will harm you in the long run.
- Buy the knowledge you need, don’t “figure it out yourself”, which will take you much longer.
- Stop cold calling and writing cold emails, and focus on building relationships via social media and using automated systems for lead generation.
- Always have your contracts in order and maintain an upper hand in all negotiations by being better informed.
- Never do something if you’re not going to do it well. It’s better to leave it undone than to do a bad job.

Just some which are top of mind. Hope you guys find them useful :)
Thank you for this post, I'd like you to elaborate on the third point if you don't mind.
 

Matesrate24

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For you 25 yr old+ guys out there, if you could go back in time, and tell your 25 year old self something, what would you say?
I turned 26 years old 2 months ago so I'm sure I have tons of useful advice:
- You will change.
- Be patient.
- Connect with like-minded people.
- Enjoy the ride.
 

fastlane_dad

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EmotionEngine

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I'd tell myself, "you are smart enough to learn game development on your own" and take "school seriously". Devour books on coding and game development (Since no YouTube or course platforms in late-90s). Learn C++, Java and then C# in early 2000s.
 

patchy

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Turning 25 in 2 weeks. Taking notes from everyone right now i've just started reading books hoping to steer into a better life before im 30 5 years left :D
 

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