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NOTABLE! Quit Asking for Advice If You Ain't Doing Shit With It

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MJ DeMarco

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Old thread bump, content still holds true...
 

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elliot

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I think its really hard because like me I need guidance but a quick e-mail or hours/days on google will just not help.
There is only one of you MJ and loads of people needing guidance but you need to live your life. Slowlaners like me are so used to there lives how they are we need a kick up the arse we are not used to the life I can see why your frustrated but also see why we are the way we are so its a bad circle. I refuse to e-mail anyone begging for a quick fix because I know I need to find my own path and I am impatient as I have been wanting for nearly a year to find something to get stuck into and made wordpress sites using pat flynn methods which from I learned a lot and am now studying app programming with Xcode but with a little doubt as so much competition and I know for certain what I am doing and thinking probably thousands more are. We are living in a world where everybody wants now and they even teach entrepreneurship at my local college but I know its a gimmick course that will not lead me to where I want to go.
 

FastLearner

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I think its really hard because like me I need guidance but a quick e-mail or hours/days on google will just not help.
Then you're lazy.
 

stefan

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I think its really hard because like me I need guidance but a quick e-mail or hours/days on google will just not help.
There is only one of you MJ and loads of people needing guidance but you need to live your life. Slowlaners like me are so used to there lives how they are we need a kick up the arse we are not used to the life I can see why your frustrated but also see why we are the way we are so its a bad circle. I refuse to e-mail anyone begging for a quick fix because I know I need to find my own path and I am impatient as I have been wanting for nearly a year to find something to get stuck into and made wordpress sites using pat flynn methods which from I learned a lot and am now studying app programming with Xcode but with a little doubt as so much competition and I know for certain what I am doing and thinking probably thousands more are. We are living in a world where everybody wants now and they even teach entrepreneurship at my local college but I know its a gimmick course that will not lead me to where I want to go.
Just know that everyone is in the chase for resources! I take entrepreneurship courses at a respectable university program but it's not nearly as good as just building your own business.

Building ANYTHING that has a shot of profitability is better than just taking classes IMO
 

timmy

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Procastinaton kills off most peoples genuine ambitions. These can be labeled under many headings some of which have been mentioned here already. Perhaps if and when the proper mindset is achieved such personal input gains monetary value....IMO the forum best facilitates any questions , queries , or advice
 

Roland

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I have not found this thread before and found if very interesting.
It is a shame that so many people send email, PM without really thinking about what this implies in terms of involvement in case of receiving an answer because the few people that really would do somehting out of the advice they are asking for are lost in the middle of all the others.
 
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MJ DeMarco

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Bump. Classic.
 

LightHouse

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Thank you!

As I replied to something earlier I thought there had been a good thread on this.

Don't ask how to do something if you have not even tried it yet.
 

Kingmaker

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Bump. This thread kicked my a$$ long time ago, hope it helps someone else.

When I stopped asking general questions and started to DO first, I started to make more money than I ever have. NOT a coincidence.

"Asking questions (permission) is simply a way of avoiding action. When you ask a question you get to wait for an answer. Waiting is the opposite of doing." - Victor Pride
 

bartzawada

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Now this is a quality bump. Not like the relationship trash that was bumped yesterday.
+1. Thanks for a bump. Tons of hidden gold out there. Reading at least 2 hours every day and still finding things like this thread. That's why I think asking "Where can I find a mentor?" is a bit silly when you can find them on this very forum. Read and learn before you start asking.
 

NewJamesBond

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Bump. Classic.
I love that you bumped the thread. And then bumped it again!

I feel like most people (at least myself) know what to do and are to scared to just do it... This advice is stellar! I love that blog you linked to as well. Awesome post!
 

Andy Black

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Damn. It didn't occur to me that people would do nothing with advice they ASKED for.

I think I need to change one of my favourite quotes from:

"People ask for advice for two reasons. To do the opposite, and to have someone to blame if it goes wrong."

to

"People ask for advice for three reasons. To do the opposite, to have someone to blame when it goes wrong, and to do nothing."


What do you reckon? Does it have a nicer ring to it?
 

marklov

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It's always better to reach the point where you can ask the right questions.

I've personally never really felt the need to have a mentor, because I will spend the time digging through posts and threads to try and find what I want. Majority of the times I do find it.

It's the information age man google, youtube, udemy, quorra , TFLF it's endless.
 
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LightHouse

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Funny, A few of us forum members met up outside DC the other night and talked about this very thing.

@Andy Black You are truly one of the most generous people i know in terms of spending your time giving valuable advice. I think I told you at one point that has a cycle. After a while, when more than 50% of the people you spend time with don't do anything, the ability to continue will wane. These days, I can tell the difference from someone who is asking and will consider it and use it vs those that aren't.

It's also why meeting up with people if you are trying to get advice is best. When people see that you at least have the guts to show up they are more likley to spend the time. And it's hard to waste someones time face to face and then do nothing at all.
 

Andy Black

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Funny, A few of us forum members met up outside DC the other night and talked about this very thing.

@Andy Black You are truly one of the most generous people i know in terms of spending your time giving valuable advice. I think I told you at one point that has a cycle. After a while, when more than 50% of the people you spend time with don't do anything, the ability to continue will wane. These days, I can tell the difference from someone who is asking and will consider it and use it vs those that aren't.

It's also why meeting up with people if you are trying to get advice is best. When people see that you at least have the guts to show up they are more likley to spend the time. And it's hard to waste someones time face to face and then do nothing at all.
Thanks for the kind words Chris.

I've been thinking about this last night. I know some get discouraged when they give advice or mentoring to people who ask for it, and it then falls on deaf ears.

Maybe it's a matter of time for me, but so far I am not in the slightest bit discouraged.

What I realised last night is that I don't just "give with no expectation of a return", but I "give *expecting* no return".

It's no skin off my nose if I spend time with someone and they don't take action.

I get so much out of it myself... I learn different ways people are stuck. I learn different ways to explain how to get unstuck. I get better and better each time.

It's ultimately not up to me to motivate someone to take action. That has to come from within themselves.

I often finish those kind of coaching calls by saying I don't want anything in return, and they are under no obligation to act on anything we've discussed.

I just ask them to pay it forward if they make progress and are ever in a position to do so.

Every now and then I get an update out of the blue, and of course, I'm delighted to hear of someone making progress. But I don't expect it, so they are always a nice surprise.


EDIT: There's something else too. If I get paid, then I haven't created an "imbalance". The transaction would be complete.

Karma doesn't work like that.
 

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LightHouse

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Did you scare them with your clown outfit?

I think most people that ask for advice already know what they plan on doing. Answers are frequently followed up with a statement about a better way.
I only wear that in dark back alleys, luckily this was a pretty nice place.
 

LightHouse

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Thanks for the kind words Chris.

I've been thinking about this last night. I know some get discouraged when they give advice or mentoring to people who ask for it, and it then falls on deaf ears.

Maybe it's a matter of time for me, but so far I am not in the slightest bit discouraged.

What I realised last night is that I don't just "give with no expectation of a return", but I "give *expecting* no return".

It's no skin off my nose if I spend time with someone and they don't take action.

I get so much out of it myself... I learn different ways people are stuck. I learn different ways to explain how to get unstuck. I get better and better each time.

It's ultimately not up to me to motivate someone to take action. That has to come from within themselves.

I often finish those kind of coaching calls by saying I don't want anything in return, and they are under no obligation to act on anything we've discussed.

I just ask them to pay it forward if they make progress and are ever in a position to do so.

Every now and then I get an update out of the blue, and of course, I'm delighted to hear of someone making progress. But I don't expect it, so they are always a nice surprise.


EDIT: There's something else too. If I get paid, then I haven't created an "imbalance". The transaction would be complete.

Karma doesn't work like that.
I definitely agree that "you" (or anyone) shouldn't expect a thing. I think we are thinking about two different types here. The askholes and the folks that are in motion. If you are analyzing someones campaign, and they take your advice and consider it but do something else, that is somewhat normal and common. What i was referring to is the askhole. Someone who asks and asks but never does anything and comes back for more having not yet done a thing.
 

Andy Black

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I definitely agree that "you" (or anyone) shouldn't expect a thing. I think we are thinking about two different types here. The askholes and the folks that are in motion. If you are analyzing someones campaign, and they take your advice and consider it but do something else, that is somewhat normal and common. What i was referring to is the askhole. Someone who asks and asks but never does anything and comes back for more having not yet done a thing.
Ah yes. There are definitely those type of askholes out there. They can even be exceedingly nice people too.

One that springs to mind is a former small business client that asks almost every 12 months for my help to reduce their costs.

Every single time I tell them "You think your costs are too high because your revenue is too low."

They always agree.

Then I ask them "Have you created a dedicated landing page for that main search term driving your account?"

They always say "No." and disappear for another 12 months.

This has been going on years.

Imagine how much bigger their business would be now if they had been generating twice the number of leads and sales for the last 4 years?
 

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