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NOTABLE! Preserving Wealth, My #1 Tip. Don't Get Married! (Or Maybe You Should?)

ZF Lee

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Marriage should be planned.

Don't rush into relationships. Take your time to find the girl that will follow you through thick and thin.

Jack Ma married right out of university. and yet he and his wife stuck together from day one to to the day his Alibaba IPO skyrocketed to the billions.

Marriage is fine as long you don't speed out of control in the process. Like building a business, a relationship takes time. From bootstrapping to gaining the millions.
 

AllenCrawley

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Yep. Because he didn't post in any other threads. Weak. Can u stick that nose any further up? Lol.
If someone came to your house and insulted you and/or your guests, how long would you allow them to stay? Let's say they didn't like the way you raised your kids and told you that you sucked as a parent. Or they didn't like the food you've cooked for them and told you it tasted like crap. Or they insisted on you providing more amenities for them because you just don't like what they have available. What if they called you arrogant and stuck up? All while in your own house! AND they do this on a consistent basis! What if this person never brought any value to your relationship. They just always seem to take and take while demanding more from you. How long would you put up with that?
 

KLaw

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If someone came to your house and insulted you and/or your guests, how long would our allow them to stay? Let's say they didn't like the way you raised your kids and told you that you sucked as a parent. Or they didn't like the food you've cooked for them and told you it tasted like crap. Or they insisted on you providing more amenities for them because you just don't like what they have available. What if they called you arrogant and stuck up? All while in your own house! What if this person never brought any value to your relationship. They just always seem to take and take while demanding more from you. How long would you put up with that?
So, because I have a different opinion then u or Mj and I'm not afraid to post that opinion. It gets deleted. There are a ton of posts on here that don't add value. Those don't get deleted.
 

AllenCrawley

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So, because I have a different opinion then u or Mj and I'm not afraid to post that opinion. It gets deleted. There are a ton of posts on here that don't add value. Those don't get deleted.
Those posts aren't usually from people with such a disrespect and disdain for MJ or the mods. You're rude and disrespectful to those that do their best to make this the best entrepreneurial place in the Internet. Many don't always agree but they express that in ways that are respectful. Consider your approach and presentation. Many feel you're a jacksss for the sake of just being a jackass.
 

jon.a

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So, because I have a different opinion then u or Mj and I'm not afraid to post that opinion. It gets deleted. There are a ton of posts on here that don't add value. Those don't get deleted.
I disagree with @MJ DeMarco all the time. I don't act too much like a jerk, I don't get banned.
 

KLaw

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Those posts aren't usually from people with such a disrespect and disdain for MJ or the mods. You're rude and disrespectful to those that do their best to make this the best entrepreneurial place in the Internet. Many don't always agree but they express that in ways that are respectful. Consider your approach and presentation. Many feel you're a jacksss for the sake of just being a jackass.
I honestly appreciate your feedback. I don't ever intentionally try to be disrespectful. Disdain for Mj? Not sure where that comes from. I disagree and don't always agree with his opinions or yours. But, Its funny. An esteemed member advises to question everything. Ummm, I guess that means everything except y'all. Lol.
 

KLaw

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I honestly appreciate your feedback. I don't ever intentionally try to be disrespectful. Disdain for Mj? Not sure where that comes from. I disagree and don't always agree with his opinions or yours. But, Its funny. An esteemed member advises to question everything. Ummm, I guess that means everything except y'all. Lol.
And I will consider how I phrase things in future posts. Thanks for the advice. I'm being sincere.
 
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MJ DeMarco

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I have a different opinion
Your opinion generally adds no value or adds clutter, or is to just to reflect your general jackassness to the forum, me, or its mods.

Maybe you should keep your opinion to yourself which you will now do, at least in this thread.

That's why we delete your shit -- take this thread for example on marriage.

It is no longer about the original topic; now it is a typical KLAW sidebar discussion on why I banned the OP from this thread only -- and invited him to unban himself by simply contributing his self-proclaimed "bored millionaire" status to another thread. Pretty simple eh?

I find it odd that a "bored millionaire" cannot contribute value (or his opinion) nowhere else but this thread. And again, I'd like to stress that on the spectrum of opinions in this thread, mine is probably more aligned with his position than the pro-union crowd.

Can u stick that nose any further up?
Can you be a worthless pitiful dick any more than you've been?

I'm tired of reading about your excuses, your distaste, your pity, and your shit.

If you don't like how I run the forum, you are welcome to GTFO and start your own.

Lemme guess, you need the exact steps.
 

Andy Black

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Yep. Because he didn't post in any other threads. Weak. Can u stick that nose any further up? Lol.
@KLaw ... I'd class this as disdain for MJ.



Also, "Question everything" doesn't mean have running battles with mods.

There's quite a few threads recently where people are getting into heated debates, over nothing really.

Firstly, business is about relationships. What type of relationships are we building when we battle with everyone over things of inconsequence? Many people subscribe to "how you do anything is how you do everything" - that includes how you relate to people on an Internet forum.

Every single interaction, or lack of, speaks volume about us.

What relationships are we building by being on this forum?



Secondly, winners don't stop to fight or argue. They're focused on their own path and journey. Me? I'll let anyone have the last word. I'll say my piece and keep moving. I'll not get dragged into someone else's battle.


I say this all constructively @KLaw, purely because you seem sincere in your last post.
 

FastNAwesome

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Firstly, business is about relationships. What type of relationships are we building when we battle with everyone over things of inconsequence? Many people subscribe to "how you do anything is how you do everything" - that includes how you relate to people on an Internet forum.

Every single interaction, or lack of, speaks volume about us.

What relationships are we building by being on this forum?



Secondly, winners don't stop to fight or argue. They're focused on their own path and journey. Me? I'll let anyone have the last word. I'll say my piece and keep moving. I'll not get dragged into someone else's battle.


I say this all constructively @KLaw, purely because you seem sincere in your last post.

I bolded parts that I feel have special depth. Sorry for bumping the thread btw. And thanks @Andy Black for posting this. Although for

"how you do anything is how you do everything"
I'm not sure if it holds 100% of the time. I know some people who rock at their craft, but are careless about other areas of their life, like health for example. But when it comes to people relationships, I do think it holds up really well, and if someone is bad to someone else but good to you, it shows you their bad side, and they just might turn against you as well in the future, depending on circumstances.

This is perhaps way off topic from the original thread, but maybe not - when you see how your potential marriage partner acts towards others, be sure they're able to act that way towards you too, if circumstances set themselves in such a way.

Btw.without any relation to the "beef" above or knowledge of it, I feel like sharing this might help someone who reads this sometime...

This post isn't addressing anyone, I just feel this is the place to post it.
As really young I thought everyone who doesn't think like me is a stupid fool, loser and a b**tch.

Life has humbled me. I'm still a rebel, still no word "impossible" in my vocabulary, but...
I've learned to accept people, their opinions, to be less judgemental, to cut people some slack, show some love, and try to understand their side of story aka empathy.

Since then, I'm having way more friends. More people willing to help me.
So many people YEARN to just be heard, respected, understood.

I've been cool with people others are scared from, I've had people offer me help or insist to give me money during rough times, just because I asked how's their health, how they are, and genuinely caring.
Sometimes, when I show a minimum of love and respect...people stare at me as if they've seen an oasis in desert.

And they're not so "clueless" at all. I've picked up pearls of wisdom in most "unlikely" places.



Much love to everyone reading and have a great weekend, or whatever day you have over there:) Every night is a Saturday night with the right friends, and if you don't have any go make some:)

/done derailing thread:)
 

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@RHL killed this thread.

I'm basically the embodiment of his first post. My wife and I are close in age, lived together for years before we married, come from very similar backgrounds (parents not divorced, fathers are farmers and mothers are nurses) and so on and on. In short, we are compatible. We have similar goals. Also, we live in Canada so we were common law after a year anyway.. lol.

There is a very simple fail-safe solution to the problem of losing half your stuff to your wife in the event of a divorce. Stop thinking of it as yours.

The state mandates equal shares so do one of the following:

- marry someone who will earn as much or more than you
- marry someone who will provide the value and support to be worth half your stuff - ie marry a top notch person who makes you grow as a person
- don't get married

I don't understand people whining about losing half 'their' money when their stated plan is to build their business 100 hours a week while their wife stays at home minding the kids. You chose that. If you don't want that, don't choose that. Marry a doctor, a nurse or even better an entrepreneur.

Edit: I also believe there is a serious downside to not having a life partner. I lived alone for several years before getting married and it made me kind of weird. A good partner will change you for the better in so many ways. There is immense value in that.

Edit 2: I'm trying to get something out of my head and I can't articulate it. What I mean by choice is this: You are an entrepreneur, you work day and night, you choose to marry a woman who will stay at home with your kids. You are undervaluing her end in this. The state values this at 50%. You value it at less, but would you truly take her place? Why aren't you looking for someone who is like you instead? You are choosing a very particular thing and then balking at the price instead of appreciating the value.
 
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StevieB

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Why ban him from this? That's just silly. The guy makes good points and if you're concerned about him pushing the documentary then just edit out the posts and remove the reference.

As far as marriage, people will make up their own minds. It's sort of like religion. You can offer all the valid points to why it's bogus but that's not going to change the mind of someone who believes in it, it's indoctrinated.

But make no mistake, the cons of a marriage far outweigh the pros. If all goes as planned then great, if not, well, you've been warned.

As others have pointed out, commitment is not sealed by marriage. Deceit and cheating from "committed" married folks is common and happens every day.

If you're married and happy then all the power to you. I've never looked down on a married person nor would I ever. Married folks can be happy and many do stay together forever. But lets not get it twisted, unmarried couples can stay together forever too and their love for each other isn't any less real because their not married. I don't need to get down on a knee, buy a ring and get married to fully commit to someone I love and if they think otherwise then they are not the right person for me.
So much this.

I'd also like to add that marriage in some instances can be harmful. Couples that really should have left each other a long time ago continue to stay together because of the legal ramifications of splitting up, when they'd be much happier in a different relationship.
 

Johnny1975

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Not getting married is a very good idea for men, especially in western countries. One of the main things that women find attractive in men is their resources, and western culture does little to control this instinct. Hence the divorce rate / industry.
 

PoGOOD

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14 years ago I got married to a woman I spent already 7 years with. In this way I didn't "risk" anything. Within those 7 years we went thru good times and bad times. We had enough money to take exotic vacations 2-3 times a year and sometimes not enough to pay the rent or buy groceries.
I don't think marriage is a bad or dangerous idea. I think the decision time and circumstances are the key. If you rush to marriage due to a sexual desire or quick fascination - it's your mistake.
I know similar amount of stories of women regretting their marriage as men regretting theirs. It all very personal.
At the very end - if you want to preserve your wealth "against" the woman you plan to marry - think again about your choice of partner.


Wysłane z iPhone za pomocą Tapatalk Pro
 

GMSI7D

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As usual, any "outside the mainstream" idea gets labeled politcally incorrect.
this is soft. in some countries you would be killed for being outside the current system of thinking.

back to to the thread, i will never marry because "love" doesn't mean money or security or anything like that

a relationship has a natural beginning and a natural end like our bodies.

to mary someone is like saying " my body is eternal and will never die "
 

Ascension

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Many people seem to assume that just taking your time and picking the perfect partner is going to prevent a divorce down the road. I just want to make a quick point why that isn't necessarily the case.
Marriage as most people see it is a monogamous relationship for live.
Humans though have historically and all the way up to the advent of agriculture lived polygamous lives. So we've got millions of years to develop traits that prime us for tight-knit groups in which both males and females have multiple ongoing sexual relationships at all times and 10,000 years of monogamy with very questionable success.

To make this short the longer people are in a monogamous relationship the more that sexual spark fades and people start to think that something is wrong with them or their partner, even though that is just the natural result of the increased familiarity.

Just take a look at the hundreds of thousands of articles of how to spice your relationship up again, many of those people are with their ideal partner and yet it still won't work out. Either they stay faithful to each other and let their libido die a slow death and might end up resenting their partner for that or they cheat and risk ripping their family apart, hurting their children and the person they love the most.

Now I in no way want to suggest how you live your relationships. I just wanted to point out how there are reasons a marriage can fail, that can feel very out of your control.

(Btw there are a bunch of studies backing all of this up, from our polygamous past, over testoterone levels and satisfaction in different kinds of relationships, cheating with "worse" partners just because they're a novelty, etc.)
 

Vanderbilt

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If you read thru this and get familiar with the US legal system you will understand why treating a marriage like a business partnership (from the legal perspective) is necessary.

Divorce happens, that cannot be denied. No one is immune from the threat. Clearly many live happily ever after, but there is no guarantee.

Considering the potential financial devastation that can happen (esp to men) it is just rational to take the precautions.

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hey @GlobalWealth iam wondering is there any way to put your money offshore before divorcing or maybe someone should do it before getting married(so the partner doesnt know), are there any paths to do this. This could be a potential business giving this service haha
 

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justonemore

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The easiest way to get rich and avoid financial ruin is.....
1- follow what's in the fastlane
2- pay all your taxes
3- do not get married, and do not get divorced
I'm not married on purpose.
I was given this advise probably 15 years ago and took it to heart.
I know a partner at work who told me he could be retired right now if he didn't get divorced.


hey @GlobalWealth iam wondering is there any way to put your money offshore before divorcing or maybe someone should do it before getting married(so the partner doesnt know), are there any paths to do this. This could be a potential business giving this service haha
I was thinking the same thing. Ignoring the pre-nup which might not work.
I wonder if you could put all of your businesses and assets in an LLC and have a management LLC 'own' those LLCs and you only own the management LLC.
Just thinking out loud, I don't know.
 

StartToday

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Well, if I decided to marry my girlfriend, my networth would probably increase by a million euros or two.

Her father is an old (79yo) doctor in Germany and the guy owns two clinics in Leipzig. He's about to retire and wants her to be in charge of said clinics once she finishes school (she's also going to be a doctor).

Of course I would never rely on her for money as the future is uncertain and I don't wanna be a dog on a leash.
 

Kalin

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hey @GlobalWealth iam wondering is there any way to put your money offshore before divorcing or maybe someone should do it before getting married(so the partner doesnt know), are there any paths to do this. This could be a potential business giving this service haha
Friendly reminder that depending on country/laws/pre-nup/etc., getting caught hiding assets can seriously F*ck you up in a divorce. Especially with assets earned/purchased during the marriage, good luck convincing the judge or opposing lawyer of anything if they somehow catch wind.

Not trying to cut your legs out but thought it was worth mentioning.
 

fortu1992

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I'm afraid to marry in my opinion it's too risky , marriage is another hyperreality, man is the only creature that marries if you think about it xD
 

NewManRising

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I've never really had any ambition to get married. But, I do want intimacy with a woman. I know that marriage tends to be more important to women than men. And, in some cultures not marrying is out of the question. The thing a man must be careful with is who they marry. Make sure she sees eye to eye with you on finances and you both work as a team. I know so many guys who are mismatched with women. They like to be a saver and a careful spender while the woman blows all the money (this role can be reversed too, not singling out women. Some women get involved with real losers). Also, make sure your cultures are compatible. When you marry you need to take into consideration how finances are viewed and how religion/politics/culture are viewed. IF you make a wise choice (meaning, you make sure that your goals/finances/views etc all match) then things will probably be OK.

For me, marriage is not important. I don't give a shit about status symbols are trying to feel accomplished or validated. I don't feel the need to conform. But if I ever do get married I will make sure there is a pre-nup agreement. The family/marriage courts are heavily against men. You really don't need to get the government involved or conform to society to prove you love another person and live committed to one another. I know marriages/families can receive some incentives but I don't know if it is worth it in the long run.
 

NewManRising

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Sadly, I know too many men that have it the other way around. They are not even the same person anymore. There wives have molded them into a person they want them to be. But I don't support either gender being a control-freak to one another. Adults need to grow up and respect each others boundaries and independence.
 

MidwestLandlord

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Wow, crazy thread.

Here's my opinion on all this, from a married man's point of view.

The US government and US attorneys are out of control, and neither attorneys, the family court or divorce court has any one's best interest at heart. Not the man, the woman, and certainly not the children.

It's my duty to protect myself, my children, and the woman in my life from the government.

This is what I would have done instead:

1) monogamous commitment to a woman I love
2) marriage ceremony to satisfy family and her desire for a wedding
3) no marriage contract
4) cohabitation agreement that spells out the following:
  • Dividing assets in a breakup
  • Childcare costs and custody in a breakup
  • Housing (who moves out) in a breakup
  • Custody of pets in a breakup
  • Terms that break the agreement (infidelity, criminal acts, etc)
  • Whatever else is deemed important by both parties can be included
With a cohabitation agreement, when a breakup occurs, you simply follow the contract. No divorce court, no family court, very little attorney fee's to separate assets, etc.

If one party doesn't follow the contract during a breakup, you sue them in civil court for forced compliance. Still, no divorce court, no family court, etc.

A lot less drama, a lot less heartbreak, and protects everyone's interests if written correctly.

There have been numerous case law instances of them holding up in court, unlike prenups that get thrown out all the time.

Still allows the formality and romance of a wedding and commitment, without being in a threesome with the government (other than a legally binding business contract)

Disclaimer: I am not an attorney. Consult an attorney for actual legal advice. Be aware of common-law marriage laws in your area. Consult an attorney!
 

ruzara5

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Marriage and divorce ruin your finances. But most people refuse to see the evidence that is right in front of their face, because they are blinded by love and tradition, wanting to do the same things their parents did.

News flash! The laws have completely changed since your parents got married. You will be wiped out for sure if you have money and you get a divorce.
Continuation. Going by examples from life and observations with business associates and family. Divorce sucks. Still. Marriage can be good. If your partner is savvy and supportive and you communicated this when you were NOT married. Because the storms of life are real. In business and otherwise. Friend got a divorce. His partner hit him financially. Rare occurence. He did better in business and personally with his ideas and delivered to the market. It cost him. This happened in his late twenties. Now. Comparing. Being in your 40's. Could work. But there could be a risk. Do not turn it into a gamble. Want to be stacking them by that time. Or maybe venturing out and beyond with a single mission.
 

GenPro

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Think big. Not 1M, not 10M, but 100M and 1B.
Think long term. Not just your life, but one thousand years to come.
How can you preserve wealth for one thousand years?
Find a good wife and raise many children very well. They are the guardians of family wealth.
 

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