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NOTABLE! Preserving Wealth, My #1 Tip. Don't Get Married! (Or Maybe You Should?)

JScott

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So if I'm truly committed to something, I should create heavy financial consequences for leaving that commitment?
If you're TRULY committed to something, why would you worry about the consequences of leaving that commitment?

Sounds to me like you don't want to truly commit. Nothing wrong with that -- that's your choice. But, you seem to want to project your inability (or lack of desire) to commit on the rest of us.

Btw, I'm not a therapist, but the fact that you had to come back and reopen this thread after four months is very telling...
 

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Vigilante

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If you're TRULY committed to something, why would you worry about the consequences of leaving that commitment?

Sounds to me like you don't want to truly commit. Nothing wrong with that -- that's your choice. But, you seem to want to project your inability (or lack of desire) to commit on the rest of us.

Btw, I'm not a therapist, but the fact that you had to come back and reopen this thread after four months is very telling...
This is perhaps the best comment posted in this entire, beat the dead horse thread. That and when MJ said "There's over 38,000 threads on this forum. Do any of them (other than this one) interest you?" To the same poster.

There's a percentage of people who spend time dwelling in the past. My hope for you all is that you find a way to move on.
 

Vigilante

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Marriage is a business contract. As a business how does it stack up. I'd love to hear others assessment of how it fits the CENTS's.

N - Need

Subjective. Many people want to get married, but anyone will be hard pressed to prove a true need that can't be met without. The only real need I see that can be met is resolution of guilt if people have been brought up with those beliefs.

E - Barriers to Entry

Exceedingly low. Basically a marriage license.

C - Control

None. You are at the total mercy of your partner and the state. Even though the barrier to entry is low the barrier to exit can be extremely high. Ask @GlobalWealth . You certainly will lose control of a huge amount of your money both during and/or after the marriage ends (if you have any that is).

T - Time

Variable. You lose a tremendous amount of control over your time. If you relationship ends you may lose control of your time in many ways, especially if your divorce drags on for years or decades. It can impair your ability to move forward in your own life in any way for a very long time.

S - Scale

Doesn't.


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Nope. Those are criteria for building a business, not a marriage. CENTS is not a litmus test for a contract, but are commandments for building a scaleable business. Your analysis would be the equivalent of measuring a marriage using a decibel meter (although in many of the marriages that ended poorly for our posters, a decibel meter reading might have been an interesting added metric.)

Invalid analogy.
 
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Vigilante

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I have been sitting in this exact spot several times over the past several years, watching the sun set. I came to realize, in this exact spot, that the total number of sunsets you get to watch is fixed and diminishing.

I can tell you that I couldn't imagine it without my wife. Breathing. Living. Drinking in a sunset over the pacific ocean. You're worried about money ? I guess we're focused on different things. Pick better.

I've lost it all, and had to climb back up again. Lost so much that there was only one person that was left standing with me. And she's entitled... to...half.


Funny as this post got a few likes this morning for people discovering this thread for the first time. We happen to be vacationing at that same exact location right now. :) My wife and I, that is.
 

Remnant

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So if I'm truly committed to something, I should create heavy financial consequences for leaving that commitment?

If I want to commit to working out every day, should I have a team of lawyers take away 80% of my assets once I stop working out? Maybe that would make me more committed?

There's nothing wrong with being committed. The problem is that our government and legal system in the good ole USA has creates ways to profit off your broken commitments and penalize you financially for something that should have nothing to do with your finances.

It is not fair. What is going on is indefensible.

Furthermore, young people don't know what they're getting themselves into with marriage. Older folks who know nothing about the changing laws are telling these young kids to get married and then they're getting wiped out a decade later. It's not right and it's hurting our country.
There are ways of getting married that exclude the 'state' from the contract. You are including the state in the contract when you get a marriage license ( a privilege to do something granted by the state).

This marriage is not recognized by them but should be by you and your wife. No more more or less commitment needed...





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Vigilante

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There are ways of getting married that exclude the 'state' from the contract. You are including the state in the contract when you get a marriage license ( a privilege to do something granted by the state).

This marriage is not recognized by them but should be by you and your wife. No more more or less commitment needed...





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There are financial benefits to having a state recognized marriage (and benefits of having a church recognized marriage). The financial benefits grow more significant the more money you make.
 
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DreamsCameTrue

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I was talking to a CPA about a week ago about this, not sure how it came up. He said there's not really much tax benefit to marriage any more. There used to be, but things are changing. He didn't elaborate much. I assume that's what you mean by financial benefit.
 
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DreamsCameTrue

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I told you guys, I'm a bored millionaire in the Hollywood Hills. It don't hurt me one bit to check on this thread a few times a year and chat with those who have something to say. Also, your system sends me emails when people respond. I assume you built your forum this way intentionally so people would keep posting. If you really want to kill this thread then just delete it, we all know the mods and owner of the site don't like this thread. It's your website, do whatever you want with it.

Kill the thread and we can all go back to believing in the white picket fence. Everything will be awesome and perfect and no one will ever lose 600K to divorce lawyers again :)
 

Vigilante

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I was talking to a CPA about a week ago about this, not sure how it came up. He said there's not really much tax benefit to marriage any more. There used to be, but things are changing. He didn't elaborate much. I assume that's what you mean by financial benefit.
He's 100% wrong. Time to get a new CPA.
 

MJ DeMarco

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I'm a bored millionaire
Tell ya what...

I'll keep this thread OPEN, but Ill ban you from commenting on it further.

Ill unban you from this thread when you contribute value to another thread, or start your own. We typically like "bored millionaires" around here but in your case, it seems like this is the only thread you care about. Again, it implies you have connections to the video in this thread.

And BTW, before you try making a case that I'm biased against your position, you should know I've never been married or divorced.
 

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JScott

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More than half of marriages end up in divorce and there's nothing special about you or your spouse that will change this.
Btw, it turns out that one of the initial assumptions on which you base your entire rant is false:

http://mobile.nytimes.com/2014/12/02/upshot/the-divorce-surge-is-over-but-the-myth-lives-on.html?_r=2&referer

Not only do more than half of marriages no longer end in divorce, but there are things you can do to change this (education, amount of money you make, age at which you're first married, age at which you have kids, etc).
 

GlobalWealth

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And BTW, before you try making a case that I'm biased against your position, you should know I've never been married or divorced.
I envy you....hehehe


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KLaw

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Tell ya what...

I'll keep this thread OPEN, but Ill ban you from commenting on it further.

Ill unban you from this thread when you contribute value to another thread, or start your own. We typically like "bored millionaires" around here but in your case, it seems like this is the only thread you care about. Again, it implies you have connections to the video in this thread.

And BTW, before you try making a case that I'm biased against your position, you should know I've never been married or divorced.
I'm not gonna read through this entire thread again but has anyone asked dreamscametrue straight out?

@DreamsCameTrue . Are u associated in any way with the videos? Mj. Don't ban this cat.
 
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MJ DeMarco

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Are u associated in any way with the videos?
He claims NO.

Don't ban this cat.
I banned him from the thread, NOT the forum.

However banning him from this thread will likely mean he will self-impose a forumwide ban. Of the thousands of other threads on this forum, it seems none of them are worthy of his commentary but this one. He seems like a smart dude and I would hope he can contribute elsewhere.
 

GMSI7D

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He seems like a smart dude and I would hope he can contribute elsewhere.
That's why we ,people outside the USA, come here because we don't have that in our countries.

We don't have forums like that and I have never heard of money gurus, anywhere but in the USA.

Wizards of money live in the USA. You , american people, are the smartest entrepreneurs... until the dollar crash.
 

theag

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That's why we ,people outside the USA, come here because we don't have that in our countries.

We don't have forums like that and I have never heard of money gurus, anywhere but in the USA.

Wizards of money live in the USA. You , american people, are the smartest entrepreneurs... until the dollar crash.
wat
 

KLaw

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He claims NO.



I banned him from the thread, NOT the forum.

However banning him from this thread will likely mean he will self-impose a forumwide ban. Of the thousands of other threads on this forum, it seems none of them are worthy of his commentary but this one. He seems like a smart dude and I would hope he can contribute elsewhere.
Damn. Why did u ban him from this thread? Personally, I enjoyed his input. I think it added value. Maybe this is just what he is passionate about. This is a large topic. Probably could be a forum on its own. Lol. Obviously, I respect your rules even though I don't sometimes understand.
 

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nichiseven

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I finally finished reading this thread from start to finish. It was fascinating to get differing perspectives on the subject. I've never been married/divorced. Where I live a de-facto, marriage or civil union partnership is legally equal and becomes subject to the 50/50 property law if you have been together for 3 years or more. It also counts in situations such as being de-facto for a year and married for two.

I clicked on it because I'm in the process of drawing up a Contracting Out Agreement with my partner of 4 years and wanted to see how other people feel about marriage/partnerships and the potential legal ramifications. Neither of us have been married, nor do we have children. He asked me to marry him 2 years ago, but I held off because I felt he wasn't ready for it yet (we have a large age/life experience gap). After the agreement is drawn up and signed, we'll be starting pre-marital counselling in order to ascertain if there are issues we need to work through, strengthen our bonds and help prepare us for marriage in the next 2 years.
 

germandude

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Holy shit, I can't believe that so many of you have compare the getting in love and married to business, even one of you laid out the CENTS commandments and reviewed marriage through that.

Marriage and love are nothing like business. You cannot love your business like you can love a person. If you think she/he is the one, get married and work on your marriage, don't act like entitled pricks and use business metrics on love. Maybe it's a cultural difference between the cut-throat capitalism in the U.S and the comfortable capitalism of Europe, but take it down a notch guys.
 
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Samuel Allen

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So if I'm truly committed to something, I should create heavy financial consequences for leaving that commitment?

If I want to commit to working out every day, should I have a team of lawyers take away 80% of my assets once I stop working out? Maybe that would make me more committed?

There's nothing wrong with being committed. The problem is that our government and legal system in the good ole USA has creates ways to profit off your broken commitments and penalize you financially for something that should have nothing to do with your finances.

It is not fair. What is going on is indefensible.

Furthermore, young people don't know what they're getting themselves into with marriage. Older folks who know nothing about the changing laws are telling these young kids to get married and then they're getting wiped out a decade later. It's not right and it's hurting our country.
Amen, and I have always wanted to be married too.
 

GlobalWealth

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Holy shit, I can't believe that so many of you have compare the getting in love and married to business, even one of you laid out the CENTS commandments and reviewed marriage through that.

Marriage and love are nothing like business. You cannot love your business like you can love a person. If you think she/he is the one, get married and work on your marriage, don't act like entitled pricks and use business metrics on love. Maybe it's a cultural difference between the cut-throat capitalism in the U.S and the comfortable capitalism of Europe, but take it down a notch guys.
If you read thru this and get familiar with the US legal system you will understand why treating a marriage like a business partnership (from the legal perspective) is necessary.

Divorce happens, that cannot be denied. No one is immune from the threat. Clearly many live happily ever after, but there is no guarantee.

Considering the potential financial devastation that can happen (esp to men) it is just rational to take the precautions.

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nradam123

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How do you have a family if you don't get married?

I dunno, I am from India. 1% divorce rate :D
 

Addicted

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Why ban him from this? That's just silly. The guy makes good points and if you're concerned about him pushing the documentary then just edit out the posts and remove the reference.

As far as marriage, people will make up their own minds. It's sort of like religion. You can offer all the valid points to why it's bogus but that's not going to change the mind of someone who believes in it, it's indoctrinated.

But make no mistake, the cons of a marriage far outweigh the pros. If all goes as planned then great, if not, well, you've been warned.

As others have pointed out, commitment is not sealed by marriage. Deceit and cheating from "committed" married folks is common and happens every day.

If you're married and happy then all the power to you. I've never looked down on a married person nor would I ever. Married folks can be happy and many do stay together forever. But lets not get it twisted, unmarried couples can stay together forever too and their love for each other isn't any less real because their not married. I don't need to get down on a knee, buy a ring and get married to fully commit to someone I love and if they think otherwise then they are not the right person for me.
 

KLaw

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Why ban him from this? That's just silly. The guy makes good points and if you're concerned about him pushing the documentary then just edit out the posts and remove the reference.

As far as marriage, people will make up their own minds. It's sort of like religion. You can offer all the valid points to why it's bogus but that's not going to change the mind of someone who believes in it, it's indoctrinated.

But make no mistake, the cons of a marriage far outweigh the pros. If all goes as planned then great, if not, well, you've been warned.

As others have pointed out, commitment is not sealed by marriage. Deceit and cheating from "committed" married folks is common and happens every day.

If you're married and happy then all the power to you. I've never looked down on a married person nor would I ever. Married folks can be happy and many do stay together forever. But lets not get it twisted, unmarried couples can stay together forever too and their love for each other isn't any less real because their not married. I don't need to get down on a knee, buy a ring and get married to fully commit to someone I love and if they think otherwise then they are not the right person for me.
I made a similar post but it got deleted because it didn't align w a mods point of view. Lol.
 

Raoul Duke

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Why ban him from this? That's just silly. The guy makes good points and if you're concerned about him pushing the documentary then just edit out the posts and remove the reference.
KLaw said:
I made a similar post but it got deleted because it didn't align w a mods point of view. Lol.
MJ DeMarco said:
Tell ya what...

I'll keep this thread OPEN, but Ill ban you from commenting on it further.

Ill unban you from this thread when you contribute value to another thread, or start your own. We typically like "bored millionaires" around here but in your case, it seems like this is the only thread you care about. Again, it implies you have connections to the video in this thread.

And BTW, before you try making a case that I'm biased against your position, you should know I've never been married or divorced.

MJ DeMarco said:
I banned him from the thread, NOT the forum.

However banning him from this thread will likely mean he will self-impose a forumwide ban. Of the thousands of other threads on this forum, it seems none of them are worthy of his commentary but this one. He seems like a smart dude and I would hope he can contribute elsewhere.
@MJ DeMarco gave us the reason why he banned @DreamsCameTrue from this thread. He doesn't need to consult us. This is his house.
 

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