The Entrepreneur Forum | Startups | Entrepreneurship | Starting a Business | Motivation | Success

NOTABLE! Preserving Wealth, My #1 Tip. Don't Get Married! (Or Maybe You Should?)

Tommo

Bronze Contributor
FASTLANE INSIDER
Read Millionaire Fastlane
I've Read UNSCRIPTED
Speedway Pass
Jan 21, 2018
321
480
231
65
Perth Australia
Quick credibility explanation. The reason you should listen to me is because I have been coaching men for the last 10 years on women and relationships. Many men over 40 have been severely damaged by a financial catastrophe that can be EASILY avoided. This goes for women also, I'm not posting this for the men only.

The easiest way to get rich and avoid financial ruin is.....

1- follow what's in the fastlane
2- pay all your taxes
3- do not get married, and do not get divorced

As far as #3, the signs are everywhere. Marriage and divorce ruin your finances. But most people refuse to see the evidence that is right in front of their face, because they are blinded by love and tradition, wanting to do the same things their parents did.

News flash! The laws have completely changed since your parents got married. You will be wiped out for sure if you have money and you get a divorce.

I urge you to watch this documentary on the divorce industry-

To put it in a nutshell:
The laws have changed. Divorce is an industry now. There is massive collusion between judges and lawyers, and they will take all your cash and liquidate your assets during a divorce proceedings. There's no rules in Family Court. Judges don't have to go by laws or precedents. They can do anything they want. There is no oversight and no challenging them.

On day 1, you sign up for a divorce attorney and they will often put a lien on your house and other assets just in case you can't pay. The judge can then order your house to be sold to pay legal fees.

After day 1, the judges and lawyers team up to drag out the case as long as possible.

In summary, it's not that you need to worry about your spouse taking your money, it's the lawyers that will take it.

I know a girl whose parents spent $600K on a divorce, and it's not over yet!

BUT WAIT, I CAN GET MARRIED BECAUSE I WON'T BE GETTING DIVORCED!
Nope sorry, the stats just don't support this. More than half of marriages end up in divorce and there's nothing special about you or your spouse that will change this. As you grow your fortune, you also incentivize your spouse to divorce you. Do you really want to have a 50% chance of getting financially wiped out? People change, goals change, relationships end. You can't fight this, it's human nature.

Marriage is a dirty business.
Divorce is even more dirty!

Again, please watch that entire documentary, it's available on iTunes. Don't be blind to the biggest mistake of your life.

BTW I'm single so I have no ax to grind. I just feel I'm one of the few people paying attention to what's actually going on, so I wanted to share it with you here.


Edited by Vigilante as we don't permit frat boy slang in this forum.
I offer similar advice to friends .....however I have been married four times and lost a lot of money but that doesn't bother me. I am an optimist and can and will always rebuild what was lost. I have no regrets and great children. Never give up on dreams and don't let the statistics paralyze you. I have health, family and not quite enough freedom but at 64 I am still full of energy and ideas. Good luck and good health.
 

Don't like ads? Remove them while supporting the forum. Subscribe.

justonemore

Contributor
Speedway Pass
Dec 19, 2017
63
86
122
NewYork
One thing I wonder about. If 50% of marriages end in divorce.
What percent of marriages stay together for whatever reason, but are miserable.
Is it possible that of the 50% that stay together, 50% of those aren't happy?

That maybe only 25% of marriages are actually happy marriages?
 

G-Man

Legendary Contributor
EPIC CONTRIBUTOR
FASTLANE INSIDER
Read Millionaire Fastlane
I've Read UNSCRIPTED
Speedway Pass
Jan 13, 2014
1,847
9,789
2,186
People are unhappy in marriage because they expect marriage to make them happy. Two people, each expecting the other person to to make them happy. Kind of surprised even 50% of marriages survive.

It's a pretty shitty thing to do to another human being if you think about it. "Hey baby, I'm making you responsible for my happiness for the next 40 years"

Maybe, instead of thinking about what we want from marriage, we think about what we bring to it. Maybe, instead of thinking about how we can get others to meet our needs, we think about how we can meet others' needs.

It's a shame that there's no other part of this forum where we approach problems by thinking about meeting other people's needs :clench:
 

Tommo

Bronze Contributor
FASTLANE INSIDER
Read Millionaire Fastlane
I've Read UNSCRIPTED
Speedway Pass
Jan 21, 2018
321
480
231
65
Perth Australia
People are unhappy in marriage because they expect marriage to make them happy. Two people, each expecting the other person to to make them happy. Kind of surprised even 50% of marriages survive.

It's a pretty shitty thing to do to another human being if you think about it. "Hey baby, I'm making you responsible for my happiness for the next 40 years"

Maybe, instead of thinking about what we want from marriage, we think about what we bring to it. Maybe, instead of thinking about how we can get others to meet our needs, we think about how we can meet others' needs.

It's a shame that there's no other part of this forum where we approach problems by thinking about meeting other people's needs :clench:
That's awesome G-Man. I love how you think.
 

Bryan Amaiwe

New Contributor
Mar 26, 2018
5
9
13
31
Agbor / Delta
Without getting married, how would you produce kids that will take over your fastlane business? Kids are important too and no one is talking about it. Or is producing kids out of wedluck legal?
 

Ayanle Farah

Bronze Contributor
Speedway Pass
Dec 13, 2016
395
495
235
25
Without getting married, how would you produce kids that will take over your fastlane business? Kids are important too and no one is talking about it. Or is producing kids out of wedluck legal?
Assuming they're interested in your pursuits in the first place, your kids doesn't have to be the only ones to take over your fastlane business.

MJ doesn't have kids from what I can tell yet someone took over Limos.com when he sold it.
 

ruzara5

Bronze Contributor
FASTLANE INSIDER
Read Millionaire Fastlane
I've Read UNSCRIPTED
Speedway Pass
May 1, 2011
169
170
156
Currently in Washington State
Without getting married, how would you produce kids that will take over your fastlane business? Kids are important too and no one is talking about it.
Yes. And possibly no. Kids are important. If they are going to be part of the fastlane 'dynasty'. That could be a good thing. Parenting and relationship are a deep scope from this short jaunt in the reply space. For the business aspect. In the building of a fastlane. It could benefit that you do not start a family yet. Keep the focus on the business. The scale. The value. The benefits. Etc.
 

Ascension

Bronze Contributor
Read Millionaire Fastlane
I've Read UNSCRIPTED
Speedway Pass
Feb 1, 2016
87
165
148
22
Germany
Without getting married, how would you produce kids that will take over your fastlane business? Kids are important too and no one is talking about it. Or is producing kids out of wedluck legal?
Getting kids just so you have somebody to take over your business is just asking to mess their lives up
 

Sagemoney

Bronze Contributor
Read Millionaire Fastlane
Speedway Pass
Mar 12, 2018
62
251
155
Michigan
I've been in a relationship for 6 years during the middle of my 20's, I've seen literally every relationship by my friends and family fail in the same amount of time. I've also hung around people married for 25+ years and The number one reason I see for most of these failures is stubborness/selfishness on both ends.

If there was a CENTS model for relationships I would narrow it down to this:

Trust
Empathy
Communication/Compromise
Solitude
No bullshit

The first 3 should be self explanatory, Solitude means that you should be able to leave each other alone for an extended period of time without wondering whether or not that person is faithful. If they can't go to the club, out with girlfriends or across the country without you losing it, your relationship will fail I have no doubt about it.

No bullshit means calling each other out on your weaknesses and not allowing your ego to obstruct progress. I've learned that when a woman NAG's it means that there is a fault that she wants you to fix, that will make you a better man. From picking up your dirty drawers to playing video games to focusing on your business without acknowledging her slightly, We tend to hyperfocus as men which can act as a benefit and detriment. If something needs to be done immediately, then carve out time and let your woman know "Babe I have 3 hours I can dedicate to you but afterword I must work on my goals/business. For the both of us :)." If you see she's being lazy and not in the gym, Tell her how sexy she looks when she sweats, how happy she looks after a workout etc.

If you have these five things I can guarantee your relationship will probably last. The amount of fear in this thread is palpable, and Women can smell fear and insecurity miles away. if you have any doubts in your mind that the woman your with may divorce you don't get married. She will sense the same thing and act accordingly. If you are out here trying to live your best life, working out, giving value to the world, and taking time to fulfill her needs. Trust me, she will be there to fulfill all yours and support you when things get tough.

Never be scared of being vulnerable, all that hyper-masculinity "Red-pill" Bullshit is for the birds and neckbeards. As men we should be strong enough to break down wall's but gentle enough to caress a bird . Find that balance and you'll never have to worry about divorce.
 

Bennu

Contributor
Read Millionaire Fastlane
Apr 19, 2018
15
40
22
Been married twice, have decided that even if I think I've met "the one" I won't remarry. Nothing is permanent an a contract won't make any relationship more solid. I'm of the mind that not having a contract keeps both people on their best behavior because either one can leave at any time. If you want them around, you don't take them for granted.

I've remained intentionally childfree. I never wanted and am sure I never will want kids. I'll leave my money to organizations that I feel actually help the world somehow.
 

Telamon25346

Bronze Contributor
Read Millionaire Fastlane
Speedway Pass
Dec 13, 2017
80
323
168
Dallas, Texas

Timmy C

I Will Not Stop!
FASTLANE INSIDER
Read Millionaire Fastlane
I've Read UNSCRIPTED
Speedway Pass
Jun 12, 2018
832
1,669
474
Melbourne, Australia
I came here to post about this. for bezos this absolutely sucks. his wife however must be pretty happy. I heard she might become the richest woman in the world by divorcing him

She is balling lol.

The divorce machine, I don't get marriage in today's world I'm all for living a life with someone having children the whole thing. if that's what you want. But marriage I just don't get why you need that piece of paper you can do everything without it.
 

Neng Her

Bronze Contributor
Read Millionaire Fastlane
I've Read UNSCRIPTED
Speedway Pass
Aug 30, 2018
214
218
158
Sacramento, ca
People are unhappy in marriage because they expect marriage to make them happy. Two people, each expecting the other person to to make them happy. Kind of surprised even 50% of marriages survive.

It's a pretty sh*tty thing to do to another human being if you think about it. "Hey baby, I'm making you responsible for my happiness for the next 40 years"

Maybe, instead of thinking about what we want from marriage, we think about what we bring to it. Maybe, instead of thinking about how we can get others to meet our needs, we think about how we can meet others' needs.

It's a shame that there's no other part of this forum where we approach problems by thinking about meeting other people's needs :clench:


Right on @G-Man. I was just talking about this with my partner.
 

Kevin88660

Bronze Contributor
I've Read UNSCRIPTED
Speedway Pass
Feb 8, 2019
489
432
191
Singapore
Quick credibility explanation. The reason you should listen to me is because I have been coaching men for the last 10 years on women and relationships. Many men over 40 have been severely damaged by a financial catastrophe that can be EASILY avoided. This goes for women also, I'm not posting this for the men only.

The easiest way to get rich and avoid financial ruin is.....

1- follow what's in the fastlane
2- pay all your taxes
3- do not get married, and do not get divorced

As far as #3, the signs are everywhere. Marriage and divorce ruin your finances. But most people refuse to see the evidence that is right in front of their face, because they are blinded by love and tradition, wanting to do the same things their parents did.

News flash! The laws have completely changed since your parents got married. You will be wiped out for sure if you have money and you get a divorce.

I urge you to watch this documentary on the divorce industry-

To put it in a nutshell:
The laws have changed. Divorce is an industry now. There is massive collusion between judges and lawyers, and they will take all your cash and liquidate your assets during a divorce proceedings. There's no rules in Family Court. Judges don't have to go by laws or precedents. They can do anything they want. There is no oversight and no challenging them.

On day 1, you sign up for a divorce attorney and they will often put a lien on your house and other assets just in case you can't pay. The judge can then order your house to be sold to pay legal fees.

After day 1, the judges and lawyers team up to drag out the case as long as possible.

In summary, it's not that you need to worry about your spouse taking your money, it's the lawyers that will take it.

I know a girl whose parents spent $600K on a divorce, and it's not over yet!

BUT WAIT, I CAN GET MARRIED BECAUSE I WON'T BE GETTING DIVORCED!
Nope sorry, the stats just don't support this. More than half of marriages end up in divorce and there's nothing special about you or your spouse that will change this. As you grow your fortune, you also incentivize your spouse to divorce you. Do you really want to have a 50% chance of getting financially wiped out? People change, goals change, relationships end. You can't fight this, it's human nature.

Marriage is a dirty business.
Divorce is even more dirty!

Again, please watch that entire documentary, it's available on iTunes. Don't be blind to the biggest mistake of your life.

BTW I'm single so I have no ax to grind. I just feel I'm one of the few people paying attention to what's actually going on, so I wanted to share it with you here.


Edited by Vigilante as we don't permit frat boy slang in this forum.
I am a financial consultant in Singapore.

Married business men should have some assets oversea. PM me if anyone wish to discuss more.
 

PizzaOnTheRoof

1% Better Every Day
FASTLANE INSIDER
Read Millionaire Fastlane
I've Read UNSCRIPTED
Speedway Pass
Jul 30, 2018
570
1,215
372
Texas
People are unhappy in marriage because they expect marriage to make them happy. Two people, each expecting the other person to to make them happy. Kind of surprised even 50% of marriages survive.

It's a pretty shitty thing to do to another human being if you think about it. "Hey baby, I'm making you responsible for my happiness for the next 40 years"

Maybe, instead of thinking about what we want from marriage, we think about what we bring to it. Maybe, instead of thinking about how we can get others to meet our needs, we think about how we can meet others' needs.

It's a shame that there's no other part of this forum where we approach problems by thinking about meeting other people's needs :clench:
Should be the only reply in this thread
 

JimK

New Contributor
Read Millionaire Fastlane
Jun 24, 2019
10
10
15
Buford, GA
I've never been married, but have thought about this in recent years. Writing to help others and to fine tune it.

(Summary: I haven't found her yet.)

Premise
  • The end game is death and life is a game where I'm all in. In that final minute, death is a choice to let go or to fight again; the will to live. (Vice Admiral Stockdale)
  • Personal growth is important to me, if not the highest endeavor (typified by the grail quest). This is my spirituality; individuation. J Peterson, CJ Jung, M Hall, J Campbell, etc.
  • Knowing the highest values, I aim to serve that in others. To be the advocate in the good in others. Starting with myself, then spouse, family, community, world, etc.
  • TMF: Wealth = Family + Fitness + Freedom.
Reducing divorce risk:
The most effective relationship dynamics I've found is the Michelangelo phenomenon where both partners influence each other towards their ideal self, not my ideal for them. This is the most practical definition of love I could find.

The most effective diagnostic of divorce is J Gottman's research. He can predict with 90%+ accuracy within 15 minutes if a couple will divorce or not. He looks to see if the partners will respond to bids for attention and if there's stonewalling.

It was a Joe Rogan podcast I heard this:
Think of a really hot girl. Like ridiculously hot.
Then think of a really beautiful girl.
Are they the same girl?
Most often they are not because they are different strategies.

Have I found a girl whose ideal self I can encourage and help? no
Have I found a girl who can help me reach my ideal self? no
 

Kevin88660

Bronze Contributor
I've Read UNSCRIPTED
Speedway Pass
Feb 8, 2019
489
432
191
Singapore
Well I think of it as Economics 101.

Why you should get married? When it is better than you being alone. Two factors at play.

1) You want to have a kid
2)in additional to having a kid You want to form a team of two in the game of life rather than playing it solo. Just like why you want to find a business partner. It is not necessary. It can be better or worse.

If you want sex only you should find professional sex workers.

I think marriage has its value. What I see in no value is in all “relationships” that are not geared towards marriage.
 

Don't like ads? Remove them while supporting the forum. Subscribe.

Mattie

Platinum Contributor
Speedway Pass
May 28, 2014
2,924
3,898
916
Netherlands
If you want sex only you should find professional sex workers.
So your best advice is we should all have meaningless sex like a dog humping another dog and be on our way. :rofl:
 

Mattie

Platinum Contributor
Speedway Pass
May 28, 2014
2,924
3,898
916
Netherlands
The divorce machine, I don't get marriage in today's world I'm all for living a life with someone having children the whole thing. if that's what you want. But marriage I just don't get why you need that piece of paper you can do everything without it.
Pretty much I've been in both situations. Fortunately, when it comes to land, property, finances, and materialism it's hard to say if you're better off with no legal paper work, because you can lose a whole lot by not covering your butt either way. So if you're dealing with a lot of money, I would say cover yourself with some kind of paper work because really, you can work your whole life for something and have other people take it from you either way.

For you being in a relationship there is no difference in life lessons, but really there is a difference in the emotional and psychological angle because of what belief system you may hold about relationships. I'm more where I hold my relationships sacred, where someone else might not value relationships at all and just see women as sex workers you have have sex with for five minutes and get off.

It's what the person values in a relationship. Do you value just money? Do you value just sex? Do you value relationships? and what type of relationships do you value? There is such a diversity in how the masculine and feminine relate with in different types of relationships, that sure we're learning that everyone is not like me that believes in a two people relationship.

I believe in my own experience in the last 10 years, I've had to accept there isn't one perfect answer for everyone and you can't place them all in one box. At the same time, you can't tell us who believe in the two people relationship we're wrong for keeping relationships sacred between two people.

I respect other people for their belief systems, but fortunately, in my observations of those who claimed it was so wonderful with sexual entertainment, sex workers, and more than one partner, now in 2019 are saying something completely different.

I think it looks wonderful, sounds wonderful, smell wonderful, but really is it the "Golden Key" to happiness? I believe there's a lot of people who might say it has a lot of psychological and emotional issues involved in it, and perhaps the masculine and feminine aren't always 100% honest, because they want to be loved, accepted, and fit in, but then it becomes too much over long period of time where they break out of the experience because they recognize it's not as healthy as others made it sound.
 

Kevin88660

Bronze Contributor
I've Read UNSCRIPTED
Speedway Pass
Feb 8, 2019
489
432
191
Singapore
So your best advice is we should all have meaningless sex like a dog humping another dog and be on our way. :rofl:
I said if you want sex only. Then paid sex saves time.

If you want to have kids then get married and it is like playing a team sport or a joint partnership.

Young people in early 20s often get attached or in a relationship with no purpose of getting married. I find that time wasting. Declare themselves as a couple on facebook and pose photos on instal-gram for attention.
 

G. Wellthy

Contributor
FASTLANE INSIDER
Jul 21, 2018
69
62
58
Without getting married, how would you produce kids that will take over your fastlane business? Kids are important too and no one is talking about it. Or is producing kids out of wedluck legal?
Building a business without the intent to sell it is a complete disaster for you and your child.

Without self-determination, you are enslaving your kids to an unfulfilled life.

If they want to follow in your footsteps and reach that conclusion independently, that is a blessing and you are fortunate. But I cannot stand this perspective and I’m not judging you for having it because it follows our natural instincts to protect and to seed.
 

G. Wellthy

Contributor
FASTLANE INSIDER
Jul 21, 2018
69
62
58
In most jurisdictions, conjugal relationships have pretty similar rights to married couples. So check out what being “common-law” means in your state.

If you are approaching six months together with the same person and they won’t sign a common law prenup... that’s probably a sign of bad times to come.
 

G. Wellthy

Contributor
FASTLANE INSIDER
Jul 21, 2018
69
62
58
Huh? Complete disaster? Can you elaborate?
Happy to elaborate. This is a soapbox topic for me.

The key word I use is “intent”. If the intent is to transfer intergenerationally, a few things naturally happen:

1) proper systems aren’t built in, the tendency being “no governance”
2) the creator never passes control and/or leadership, meaning you are condemning your kids to living in your shadow for the rest of your life
3) tax tail wags the dog, and the future growth of the business is gifted to heirs. Meaning they don’t pay to get the business. Like most investors, I would never invest in a business when management has no skin in the game. Chances of failure are so much higher.

If everyone understands that the business could be inherited OR could be sold, and that perspective is built into the long term strategy:

- heirs work harder and consider their lives without the business
- creators consider all alternatives including stronger boards, professional management, and selling the business (they start learning how to unpair their personal legacy from the business legacy)
 

JScott

Legendary Contributor
EPIC CONTRIBUTOR
FASTLANE INSIDER
Speedway Pass
Aug 24, 2007
4,083
7,454
1,731
Happy to elaborate. This is a soapbox topic for me.

The key word I use is “intent”. If the intent is to transfer intergenerationally, a few things naturally happen:

1) proper systems aren’t built in, the tendency being “no governance”
2) the creator never passes control and/or leadership, meaning you are condemning your kids to living in your shadow for the rest of your life
3) tax tail wags the dog, and the future growth of the business is gifted to heirs. Meaning they don’t pay to get the business. Like most investors, I would never invest in a business when management has no skin in the game. Chances of failure are so much higher.

If everyone understands that the business could be inherited OR could be sold, and that perspective is built into the long term strategy:

- heirs work harder and consider their lives without the business
- creators consider all alternatives including stronger boards, professional management, and selling the business (they start learning how to unpair their personal legacy from the business legacy)
Sounds like your definition of "complete disaster" is different than mine...

I have a business I'll never be able to sell -- I think it's safe to say that it will never be a disaster for my kids.
 
  • Like
Reactions: Kak

G. Wellthy

Contributor
FASTLANE INSIDER
Jul 21, 2018
69
62
58
Sounds like your definition of "complete disaster" is different than mine...

I have a business I'll never be able to sell -- I think it's safe to say that it will never be a disaster for my kids.
Not too many businesses are unsellable. Too tied to personal goodwill? You’re in RE right?

I’m using “disaster” to describe the relationship of wealth creator to the business, wealth creator to the kid, and the kid’s ability to lead a fulfilling life. Not the business itself.
 

Create an account or login to comment

You must be a member in order to leave a comment

Create account

Create an account on our community. It's easy!

Log in

Already have an account? Log in here.




Don't like ads? Remove them while supporting the forum. Subscribe to become an INSIDER.

Post New Topic

Please SEARCH before posting.
Please select the BEST category.

Post new topic

Fastlane Insiders

View the forum AD FREE.
Private, unindexed content
Detailed process/execution threads
Monthly conference calls with doers
Ideas needing execution, more!

Join Fastlane Insiders.

Top Bottom