nathanperez
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- Jun 3, 2024
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No matter what I seem to do or achieve, I always hate myself internally and feel like I’m not enough and don't deserve a spot on this earth.
For years now I’ve been ruthlessly pursuing my goals and from the outside perspective a lot of people think that I’m well off. I’m 19 years old making over 6 figures from my business and I’m always complimented on my physique but I still feel like a bum and that no one loves me.
I was bullied in school for being fat which gave me an eating disorder in which I starved myself to near-death twice. I would pass out every day since I’d refuse to eat, cut my wrists, and to this day I still force myself to throw up when I look in the mirror and seem fat. The worst part is, other people who only train for 1 year get a better physique as me who has went through hell for 6 years.
I have low testosterone and heart problems from starving myself to death as a kid, I meet girls but they never love me for who I am, and I have a lot of friends but I’m not close with any of them.
I feel depressed and nothing gives me fulfilment. I never feel happy, no one ever loved/loves me, my family life is bad, I have low confidence, and I missed out on all of high school because I was recovering.
Every day I look at normal teens who naturally have a good physique and don’t need to focus on diet or anything. They have people who love them and good mental health. I wish that was me.
I’ve been lurking this forum for a while now but wanted to make an account because I really need help and don't know what to do. Don’t say go to a therapist because I’ve tried and they never understand me. Also, I’ve already reached decent success (10k/m at 19) but I still feel depressed and useless. I’d really appreciate if anyone can leave some advice for me.
For years now I’ve been ruthlessly pursuing my goals and from the outside perspective a lot of people think that I’m well off. I’m 19 years old making over 6 figures from my business and I’m always complimented on my physique but I still feel like a bum and that no one loves me.
I was bullied in school for being fat which gave me an eating disorder in which I starved myself to near-death twice. I would pass out every day since I’d refuse to eat, cut my wrists, and to this day I still force myself to throw up when I look in the mirror and seem fat. The worst part is, other people who only train for 1 year get a better physique as me who has went through hell for 6 years.
I have low testosterone and heart problems from starving myself to death as a kid, I meet girls but they never love me for who I am, and I have a lot of friends but I’m not close with any of them.
I feel depressed and nothing gives me fulfilment. I never feel happy, no one ever loved/loves me, my family life is bad, I have low confidence, and I missed out on all of high school because I was recovering.
Every day I look at normal teens who naturally have a good physique and don’t need to focus on diet or anything. They have people who love them and good mental health. I wish that was me.
I’ve been lurking this forum for a while now but wanted to make an account because I really need help and don't know what to do. Don’t say go to a therapist because I’ve tried and they never understand me. Also, I’ve already reached decent success (10k/m at 19) but I still feel depressed and useless. I’d really appreciate if anyone can leave some advice for me.
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