Has anyone ever doubt themselves?

[Lights]

I am seriously doubting my own talents when it comes to this "fastlane business", and this is the first time... that I made this my life mission. It's the only thing I am working on, and I quit my "jerb" to make this happen. It's been a week since I been involve with this, and the sunk cost is huge. I already drop like $300, and it seems like a lot when there's nothing coming in.

I have enough to live on though for now. lol

I am doubting myself... there's just so much work, and I don't know how to make progress. I think I can make it work though if I dedicate myself consistently.

 

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[ColtonJD91]

Hey man,
It's definitely tough. I get in some slumps but what really keeps me going is goal setting. Set a goal or two or three every night and then try and hit them the next day. It's always reassuring when I can check off every goal of mine at night and really keeps my confidence high. On a side note it's great for productivity as well. PM me if you want a .pdf of the sheet I use to set my weekly goals! Good luck man

 

[Lights]

Thanks,

yeah just being productive and logical is the only way I can deal with this. emotions don't get me anywhere (at least that's me). I always say to myself to stay positive even if my life suck that day. Or something terribly went bad for me. Nothing is ever so terribly horrible though unless it had a long-permanent effect I imagine.

 

[Lgallion]

When they say it is 'lonely at the top', I think they really mean it is 'lonely getting to the top'. To start your own business (especially an 'unconventional' fastlane business - most people think opening a drycleaning place is really stepping out there) means that you have to self motivate. Everyone else will either 1) not care or 2) actively try to stop you (for your own good, they say). I try to stay on track by setting little goals and marking them off (as Colton mentioned) and I build in little reward times too. Cruising a forum is pretty much goofing off for me, so I have to work for my 'cruising time' but this give me some minor motivation along the way. Also since I am cruising good forums (like this) it is kind of like having a healthy snack ;-). In short, build small successes into big ones and celebrate all of them, big & small.

 

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[skipper]

I am doubting myself...

Doubt is an emotion, a believe. There's no point saying "I will not doubt in myself", it will just make you more doubtful (if you don't trust me, try NOT thinking about a white bear for the next 5 minutes. Really, you should not, by any chance, think of a white bear).

What you can do is:
- acknowledge there is doubt, maybe even explore it, just observe it. Sit and observe, how it makes you feel etc.
- also acknowledge that while doubt is there, it is just an emotion, a self-imposed barrier. It is trying to protect you from failing (because let's face it, you are afraid of failing, and that's another thing to acknowledge and live with it). It's a very low level function of your brain which you can't disconnect and it has its purpose in some situations
- learn to acknowledge, but act anyway. It's your prefrontal cortex who has the logic and control, and needs to learn to override emotions.
- it will get easier with practice

there's just so much work, and I don't know how to make progress.

What does it mean "you don't know how to make progress"? Do you have some high level plan? Or you just jumped into something and decide as you go?

 

[Rawr]

I've read people learn to behave in two ways as a kid.

1. I am awesome. I will do great at anything. Attempt -> fail -> cry/detach -> give up ->feel ok.

2. I have to work and make small progress time after time to get where I want. Attempt -> feeback -> attempt ->feedback -> etc until goal is achieved, or new goal is found.


I am growing more and more convinced that the one of the real masteries is to learn that one can deal with any consequence, any outcome. It is scary to do, but with enough experience it should be possible. After that, there is no reason to doubt yourself, you simply know that the action will have an outcome..and you are going to be able to handle it.

 

[The-J]

Every single day.

I wake up with doubt and anxiety. It kills my productivity. It makes inaction seem attractive.

Apparently, I'm not alone. The brain is inherently wired to think this way. It values instant gratification. You actually get addicted to leisure time. The brain says "This is too scary. Let's watch TV". You and I have to trick our minds into doing something, whether or not we succeed.

The brain will say "We'll do it tomorrow". Most of the time, tomorrow never comes. It's with everything: school, work, running a business, losing weight, gaining weight, getting a job, getting a gig, getting a girlfriend or boyfriend, etc.

The only good advice is to "just do it", even though it's harder than it seems. So, really... "just do it".

Of course, you and I need goals, which are like dog treats for your brain. But not all goals are effective: some goals require too much work between then and other goals require too little.

Event = "just doing it" once. Process = "just doing it" many, many, many times until you achieve your goals.

 

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[theDarkness]

I have crazy self-doubt problems. Anxiety, depression, etc. My brain is screwy.

I take meds to help bring things to a basic level of functioning. And then I rely on the feeling of being "in the zone" to cut through those more ordinary daily layers of self-doubt/anxiety.

Which is part of why the event vs. process thing resonated with me so well. I think some people can still do decent work while being somewhat event-minded, but if I'm not consumed with the organic process of doing something, my brain feeds on itself and things go haywire. :nono:

There are probably better ways to describe it. Back when I tutored, the mental prospect of acting like Mr. Knowledgeable and Authoritative Tutor Guy made me sick to me stomach, but the actual process of helping people learn crap was thrilling, and six hours of tutoring sessions could fly by in what felt like minutes.

The key for me in doing anything is finding that sweet spot where it feels like hours are evaporating in seconds. It usually just involves giving myself wholly to the process of something so that there is no more brain-space left for thinking about Event.

It used to be that I had to load up on coffee to get in that mental state, but now it's mostly a habit thing. That much coffee was horrible for stomach anyway.

 

[miked_d]

Yes I do.

I try to do at least one thing everyday to work towards my fastlane goals. Today I did things during my lunch. I have been doing research all afternoon.

When a task seems overwhelming, I break it down into smaller tasks.

If I am unmotivated, I come on this forum and read long threads. Mike39, biophase, Amail and several others have great threads that inspire me to keep working.

 

[tincho1492]

The brain will say "We'll do it tomorrow"

Ditto.

I've learned to live with uncertainty. Now that I think my "long"-term goals are the ones for this week

Is not that I don't have longer goals, but thinking too much about them will paralize you, because there are tons of stuff to do and this is where you don't make progress.

One of the good things about having my office is that I have a "real" commitment, which is if I don't get shit done I won't be able to pay the rent.

Being aware of your thoughts will help you to recognize when they start to tell you to do other things instead of working on your project.

Try setting two or three goals for tomorrow. They should be short enough to make you feel that you can accomplish them but long enough to not make you feel overwhelmed. Once you accomplish them just reward yourself and write the next goals for the next day.

I use a lot the Pomodoro technique, working in sprints of 25 mins helps me to be 100% focused on the task while taking short 3 minutes rests to refresh my mind. I can work 10 hours making REAL progress without feeling too much tired.

I think is matter of dividing big tasks into smaller ones AND forming the habit of DOING.

 

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[cliqflip]

A investor told me "Entrepreneurs are naturally paranoid" and I think that's true. We deal with a lot of risk for the big vision. Keep moving forward and never give up.

 

[Destined]

I am seriously doubting my own talents when it comes to this "fastlane business", and this is the first time... that I made this my life mission. It's the only thing I am working on, and I quit my "jerb" to make this happen. It's been a week since I been involve with this, and the sunk cost is huge. I already drop like $300, and it seems like a lot when there's nothing coming in.

I have enough to live on though for now. lol

I am doubting myself... there's just so much work, and I don't know how to make progress. I think I can make it work though if I dedicate myself consistently.

Hey it's ok to doubt yourself. No one was 100% sure that they would hit a home run in the business world. Trust me most didn't hit a home run their first, or second or even third attempt in having a successful business and making lots of money. Most didn't. Just try to believe in yourself and motivate yourself to make an impact in your business.

If your mentality is a bit negative, then either seek a counselor/life coach who can motivate you or read books on motivation and help yourself. Doubt/Fear are the biggest obstacles that cripple our minds......

 

[Leoto]

I doubt myself ALL THE TIME with respect to the Fastlane and my ability to get there. There's always a part of me that's skeptical as to whether such an experience can actually manifest within my realm of reality. Am I confident that I'll make some chump change here and there? Of course! Do I feel confident that I'll someday be making millions in passive income year after year? Hell no!

But I consider my doubt to be irrelevant. Regardless of whether I have doubt or no doubt, I'm going to do the exact same thing - that is, take tangible steps that I believe are in the direction of the Fastlane. That's all I can do. What I put in is 100% under my control. But the outcome is not always under my control. Since doubt pertains to outcome, which is not under my control, I just try to ignore my doubt and focus on that which I have control over.

 

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[topendusa]

I think that doubt happens to all of us....We can try to minimize it, but it will continue to enter our minds if we let it...I think we should accept that it is our nature to have some doubt, but were we seperate ourselves is realizing doubt happens...adapting to it and overcoming it.

 

[Rawr]

I am growing more and more convinced that the one of the real masteries is to learn that one can deal with any consequence, any outcome. It is scary to do, but with enough experience it should be possible. After that, there is no reason to doubt yourself, you simply know that the action will have an outcome..and you are going to be able to handle it.

I've been trying this more lately, it works to reduce doubt and anxiety greatly. I think those things are related to not wanting to accept an outcome of a situation in your life, and hence imagining scenarios (often the worse ones) and responding emotionally as a reflexive knee jerk.
So if anyone is willing to give it a try, simply collect yourself for a moment, and really think of the possible outcomes to the issues that you've been worrying about. You could use "How does worrying about this help me?" (it doesn't) as a launchpad. Then think through the outcomes, realize which ones are most probably, and file the issue away. Hope this helps someone.

 

[458]

Learn to meditate, it helps.

 

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[Victor Santiago]

I never doubted that if I try, I would be successful. Not even for a second. Maybe that's arrogance, or just my ego...

However, I'm very close to launch a product and I started to be afraid. I started to doubt if I got the guts to try. I can't explain what I'm feeling, I have plenty of confidence on my product, but I'm afraid to launch it.

I don't think the fear comes from the possibility of failure but of success. I failed a lot and I'm okay with it, however I don't know what would happen if I succeeded. I'm a extremely shy guy, and I think that if do something big, people will start to pay attention on me, and I really don't like it.

And I'm worried that this fear could make me do something that would make me fail.

I know that it sounds silly, but it's kind of waht I fell.

it's scary, but I just keep coding until there's nothing more to do but launching.

 

[PatrickP]

Victor maybe it is the fear that if you launch it and it doesn't do well you will feel like you failed.

Right now you have the wonderful feeling that the venture will work, that it will succeed, that you will be successful.

BUT once it is launched you will never have that again.

I have that same feeling sometimes. Almost as if you don't want to put your ideas to the test because if you don't they are a success in your mind.

 

[Rawr]

Victor maybe it is the fear that if you launch it and it doesn't do well you will feel like you failed.

Right now you have the wonderful feeling that the venture will work, that it will succeed, that you will be successful.

BUT once it is launched you will never have that again.

I have that same feeling sometimes. Almost as if you don't want to put your ideas to the test because if you don't they are a success in your mind.

Not a success.. but NOT a failure. "How do you know yourself if you've never been in a fight" - the point is to believe, that somehow you would not absolutely get your a$$ kicked.

You seem like an optimistic person, what do you think when you work on launching?

 

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[road_runner]

I recently started to doubt if i can come up with good enough plan. Currently my day job plus the freelance income are more than enough for me and i am kind of doubting if i need to do anything . I have the freedom to work from every location in the world and flexible hours, as long as my work is done, so i am kind of afraid to give up all this. Although apart from freedom, it is a slowlane i have to admin

 

[PatrickP]

Not a success.. but NOT a failure. "How do you know yourself if you've never been in a fight" - the point is to believe, that somehow you would not absolutely get your a$$ kicked.

You seem like an optimistic person, what do you think when you work on launching?

hmmm I think my mind it going as I can't remember lol. It has been a while. Maybe i used to just get a small idea and go with it, constantly working on it but not expecting big things, just letting it grow from my efforts.

BUT I will say that I find it more difficult now because I judge every idea against my latest business which grew beyond my wildest dreams. So I find that I dismiss many ideas which I probably would have tried in the past, if only because I don't foresee them making the sort of money which my latest business is doing.

I then reason WHY would I put in a ton of effort on the new idea when I can do a new product with my current business and be making that much or more money with VERY little effort in 1/20th the time.

So then I do nothing and leave it up to my VP who is running the company like a maniac and doing far more than I ever could with it. lol

Certainly not what I should be doing I think. Then again maybe I should just stay in retirement and have fun not working, problem is I enjoy working more than anything else there is to do including vacations, sports etc.

 

[Lights]

What does it mean "you don't know how to make progress"? Do you have some high level plan? Or you just jumped into something and decide as you go?

Well the day I written that I felt more cripple in fear of failure, and I do know how to go about it... I just doubted myself in doing what I need to do (in the next 4 months, I am just learning). But if I don't do it, then I would be a failure regardless. So I can't give up.

Also afraid of what my family is going to think about it all, but I must do it, or else I am going to live a life of mediocrity. I am literally becoming someone "new" to my family if they even knew what I am up to, since it's so against what I say/believe. You know how everyone puts a new face on for different groups, or at least I'm different with people... But I can't hide my success or failures when they happen.

It's kind of funny when it happens it might come across an overnight success, even though I been working on this for the past 2 yrs.

Death is the whip against my back to run, since I know I will die one day relatively soon. And I have to make my life here on Earth worthwhile before its over.

 

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[Victor Santiago]

Victor maybe it is the fear that if you launch it and it doesn't do well you will feel like you failed.

Right now you have the wonderful feeling that the venture will work, that it will succeed, that you will be successful.

BUT once it is launched you will never have that again.

I have that same feeling sometimes. Almost as if you don't want to put your ideas to the test because if you don't they are a success in your mind.

You're probably right. Maybe I'm starting to have doubts...

Sure, I still believe in my product, but the possibility of failure is getting real...

 

[PatrickP]

Completely normal Victor.

Keep going man!

 

[The-J]

I've tasted failure. It's not so bad.

My first 'business failure', I lost $50 (no need, low entry). My second, I lost a couple hundred (no need). I'm set to lose a couple hundred more if this one fails.

I like to keep my failures small... for now.

My doubt is more in the macro sense: I'll never be successful, I'll never accomplish my dreams, I'll never be as good as whoever. I'm always comparing myself to both other people and myself (if that makes any sense).

It stops me cold in my tracks. It's like "I don't feel like tasting failure today, let's fail tomorrow!"

Tomorrow never seems to come.

 

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[bkypes]

You're forgetting.

3. I am awesome. I will do great at anything. Attempt -> fail -> move back with parents -> learn from previous mistakes -> continue until successful.