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HOT TOPIC Advice: Has Anyone Groomed Themselves to Enter The American Elite?

Cashflow Queen

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Since so many of you are trying to become rich, are any of you taking steps to socially groom into the elite class? How many of you are planning to be influential in your communities, politics, and in philanthropic work? And do you join country clubs and learn to play golf? What are you doing to learn the proper etiquettes?

I will come into wealth soon - I have tried hard to ditch all the etiquette of the poor class I grew up around, and there’s so much more to learn to fit in than just the money part! Thanks for any insight you guys have.
 

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Ninjakid

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What about your etiquette are you trying to change? Why do you feel you need to change?

And do you join country clubs and learn to play golf?
I actually hate golf lol. No offense because I know several people here like it, but I never saw the appeal, and you'll never catch me playing no matter how rich I get.
 

ApparentHorizon

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Nope.

If something like accidentally misspelling the decision maker's name in an email or using "like" too many times in a conversation, breaks the deal, my product is prob crap anyway. Or average at best.

Though I'm curious what constitutes as poor vs rich etiquette, that can't be attributed to just being a decent person.
 

Dylan Hobrecht

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It seems unique but I’d do it
They say the way you do one thing is how you do everything. And of course being around public you want to be at your best. It seems viable, not easy but well worth it.

Maybe a little class wouldn’t hurt!

I picked up some bad habits like being a mess...maybe not so much in public.

There is this success mechanism that works for you, your brain pretty much on over drive in those situations. I would personally like some guidelines to have though so I wouldn’t be a stick in the mud per say


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Tommo

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It seems unique but I’d do it
They say the way you do one thing is how you do everything. And of course being around public you want to be at your best. It seems viable, not easy but well worth it.

Maybe a little class wouldn’t hurt!

I picked up some bad habits like being a mess...maybe not so much in public.

There is this success mechanism that works for you, your brain pretty much on over drive in those situations. I would personally like some guidelines to have though so I wouldn’t be a stick in the mud per say


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Since so many of you are trying to become rich, are any of you taking steps to socially groom into the elite class? How many of you are planning to be influential in your communities, politics, and in philanthropic work? And do you join country clubs and learn to play golf? What are you doing to learn the proper etiquettes?

I will come into wealth soon - I have tried hard to ditch all the etiquette of the poor class I grew up around, and there’s so much more to learn to fit in than just the money part! Thanks for any insight you guys have.
To "socially groom oneself into the elite" isn't necessary for an unscripted person to do philanthropic work. Working class folk such as my parents were had more class than any one I ever met from a so called higher class. Manners maketh the man. Money is handy to have to say no to social pressure and live how you wish.
 

rogue synthetic

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Since so many of you are trying to become rich, are any of you taking steps to socially groom into the elite class?
I would find it strange to do this. Maybe I'm weird* but one of the reasons I like the Fastlane mindset is that it tells you that you don't have to do a bunch of things you don't like with people you don't care for.

Whether that means a job working for one of my social 'betters' or having to pick up all of their social rituals that I don't care anything about hoping they'll "like me", it's all the same.

This thread makes me feel like smashing a six pack of Bud Light and watching NASCAR.

* I'm weird
 

El Príncipe

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Since so many of you are trying to become rich, are any of you taking steps to socially groom into the elite class? How many of you are planning to be influential in your communities, politics, and in philanthropic work? And do you join country clubs and learn to play golf? What are you doing to learn the proper etiquettes?

I will come into wealth soon - I have tried hard to ditch all the etiquette of the poor class I grew up around, and there’s so much more to learn to fit in than just the money part! Thanks for any insight you guys have.
Can you specify "etiquette of the poor class"?

I'm trying to ditch all the mindset of the poor class.

Growing up we were on welfare. My immigrant, single, stay at home mother was always looking for handouts, going on about "rights" we had to subsidies and cuts, always looking for discounts etc.

As a very young child I once told her: You know mom, instead of going all this pain and time to save some money here and there, it would be much better to focus that pain and time on getting more money and not having to deal with all that shit.

I love her, but my mom taught me how to think poor. But she also taught me how to a respectful, well mannered, educated person.
 

Ayanle Farah

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Since so many of you are trying to become rich, are any of you taking steps to socially groom into the elite class? How many of you are planning to be influential in your communities, politics, and in philanthropic work? And do you join country clubs and learn to play golf? What are you doing to learn the proper etiquettes?

I will come into wealth soon - I have tried hard to ditch all the etiquette of the poor class I grew up around, and there’s so much more to learn to fit in than just the money part! Thanks for any insight you guys have.
Hell no, the whole point I want to become rich is so I'm free to do whatever I want, at that point I don't care about becoming influential or any of that nonsense.

The big question is why would I even do that? I obviously want to look good for myself and I don't mind getting new interests for myself but as soon as it becomes about fitting in I'm out of there.
 
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Xeon

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Wear Polo Ralph Lauren.



 

Kak

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These circles are definitely a different group of people. I have spent significant time with the "high society" folks. Many of them are no longer as concerned with the making money side of things and far more concerned with philanthropy. Although they will invest, and want to be part of things that interest them and/or deals they deem big enough. You have to realize that they don't always want to talk business.

As far as etiquette is concerned. Dressing well, speaking properly, and knowing how to use a fork and knife are an absolute must. Be polite to waiters and waitresses.

Golf and tennis are the sports of choice.

Remember, everyone is already rich in these circles and they don't care about your new Mercedes. Don't brag about anything, ever. That screams broke, douche, doctor from the suburbs.

Navigated properly these circles can be HIGHLY valuable to your entrepreneurial journey. Also, the people are FAR more interesting. They almost all held or hold some position of great influence. You don't go donating hundreds of thousands of dollars without an interesting past.
 

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Kak

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Another observation from these circles...

You don't get judged for your wealth in the upper class. You can be judged, however, for being a slob.

Your wealth WILL be talked about and judged by the working and middle classes. Upper-middle-class circles are some of the worst about judging each other's wealth and the keeping up with the jones crap. (Like the hypothetical doctor I mentioned above.)
 

Dylan Hobrecht

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Another observation from these circles...

You don't get judged for your wealth in the upper class. You can be judged, however, for being a slob.

Your wealth WILL be talked about and judged by the working and middle classes. Upper-middle-class circles are some of the worst about judging each other's wealth and the keeping up with the jones crap. (Like the hypothetical doctor I mentioned above.)
It sounds like you’ve been in many situations like this. Sounds like an interesting life.

Far from being a slob

I haven’t been in near enough situations like this to know how I would act. That would be a lot of pressure, and I think I would explode...

How would you go about getting into more situations like this?




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jon.a

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It sounds like you’ve been in many situations like this. Sounds like an interesting life.

Far from being a slob

I haven’t been in near enough situations like this to know how I would act. That would be a lot of pressure, and I think I would explode...

How would you go about getting into more situations like this?




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You have to provide so much perceived value that they want to talk to you more than you want to talk to them.
 

Dylan Hobrecht

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You have to provide so much perceived value that they want to talk to you more than you want to talk to them.
Haha yeah!

I’ve been trying to become that person... Mostly going after smaller challenges. Getting comfortable with people in general.

Getting social skills is no small matter. And navigating this jungle isn’t easy.

I found out that I’m still a novice, soo I’m going to try and find out if I can be goal driven. Putting a certain dollar amount on my wall.

So far I’ve been trying to learn sales, and marketing. It seems kind of hopeless since I can’t take enough action on what I’ve learned, and my family just is non-responsive to most of the stuff I’m trying to learn. I’m still progressing so I’m humbly greatful for that. Anything but being in this stagnant state

I’ve been doing this ten calls a day and it’s been really been beneficial-I learned it from a book.

Oh! And I hear as long as your taking enough action! Giving it your all. Most bad behaviors auto-correct

I’m guessing this success mechanism we have in our brain-ei. A squirrel doesn’t need to LEARN to go up a tree to get a nut. We just need to be put in these high pressure situations


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Kak

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Can you give some examples?
I can do business with, interact with and can socialize with any group... I can also dress the part. Erroring slightly on the side of introversion, I find socialization far easier with people I find interesting.

Who is more interesting conversation?

A CEO/Titan of industry...
Or
A data analyst for local bank...
Or
A loud beer drinking slob that paints his face for football games...

I'm far more likely to actually engage in and enjoy conversation with the CEO.
 
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Kak

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It sounds like you’ve been in many situations like this. Sounds like an interesting life.

Far from being a slob

I haven’t been in near enough situations like this to know how I would act. That would be a lot of pressure, and I think I would explode...

How would you go about getting into more situations like this?




Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
Golf, charity, doing business, I don't know you just sort of end up there.

It's really not that intimidating and like I said, the upper class is usually less judgy than the the upper middle class. Just wear nice conservative clothing, be professional, courteous, and use proper table manners.
 
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TinyOldLady

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Who is more interesting conversation?

A CEO/Titan of industry...
Or
A data analyst for local bank...
Or
A loud beer drinking slob that paints his face for football games...

I'm far more likely to actually engage in and enjoy conversation with the CEO.
I don't know, the one who loves physics and science fiction is usually always interesting, can be anyone of the three. I hoped you would give explicit examples like: most CEO guys dance salsa or something like that :smile:
 

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Late Bloomer

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Be sure to remove the phrase "hold my beer and watch this" from your vocabulary. The proper way to phrase this is: "shalt thou now holdst my beer and keep thine eyes peeled keen upon me?" which of course comes from Shakespeare.

Seriously, there are two parts to the question that I think it's useful to separate.

One is, what are some ways that broke people usually act that are rude to anyone, anywhere no matter what? Habits, beliefs, ways of speaking that are pushy and obnoxious, driven by poverty and the fear of more poverty? It's a good idea to get rid of those, for your own happiness and peace of mind.

The other question is, what are the habits of the rich people you want to spend time with, so they'll value you an important member of the upper-crust elite just like they are? This part of the question assumes that your own caring and interest aren't enough for you to be taken seriously as a philanthropist, political activist, country club member, etc.... that you have to play a role to seem just like a blue blood, or they'll cast you out from the changes you want to make in society, or the golf games you'd like to enjoy.

The first part of the question seems respectful to you, but the second part seems to be very disrespectful to yourself.

The movie The Founder, about the life of McDonald's Roy Kroc, has a fascinating section showing how he totally failed to sell successful restaurant franchises to the country club set on the golf course. He had to go "down" a level in social class, to find the restaurant owners whose work ethic would ultimately let him "rise" to the level he wanted to be in for himself.
 
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Kak

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WJK

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Once upon a time -- when I was young -- I was a trophy wife for a few years. It was awful. I hated it. I felt demeaned and belittled. It was like being a piece of meat.

I was successful during those years in my career. After that marriage, I became successful enough to play with the big boys. Then I was treated with respect and kindness by a similarly positioned crowd. I was there on my own merits.

My advice to you is to work on yourself. Be a person of character rather than trying to fit in. Stand out rather than becoming one of the crowd.
 

IGP

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I have friends that I would consider upper class. Members at Augusta National, own castles in Ireland, wouldn't get out of bed for a 10% deal on their money - that type of wealth & influence.

Some of them came from nothing and made it to that level. Here is my advice, if you want to groom yourself other than obvious manner and etiquette stuff.

Start small: Instead of finding the best country club in your town to join, join a smaller one for a year or two (there is probably a waiting list anyhow if you can even get in the best ones).

Get into power groups: Get your way onto board of directors for anything you can. Your club, charities, social committees, local communities, etc. and build relationships.

If you have the money, buy assets you can "barter": Exclusive tickets to NFL, MLB, NBA, etc. (not for you to go to, but to give away to build social equity and favors). A Wheels Up membership: Get us a tee time at <insert famous club here>, I'll pay for the private transportation.

Just continue to do this up the ladder until you get to where you want to be.
 

loop101

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Since so many of you are trying to become rich, are any of you taking steps to socially groom into the elite class? How many of you are planning to be influential in your communities, politics, and in philanthropic work? And do you join country clubs and learn to play golf? What are you doing to learn the proper etiquettes?

I will come into wealth soon - I have tried hard to ditch all the etiquette of the poor class I grew up around, and there’s so much more to learn to fit in than just the money part! Thanks for any insight you guys have.
If you are going to "come in to wealth soon", there is a guy on this forum that sometimes talks about the danger of "wealth events". You might want to listen to him. He lives out in the desert, goes by the name something-something Kenobi. Has a Landspeeder.
 
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Mattie

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I will come into wealth soon - I have tried hard to ditch all the etiquette of the poor class I grew up around, and there’s so much more to learn to fit in than just the money part! Thanks for any insight you guys have.
I think it comes with the territory. I have to laugh because I"m in the Netherlands and have been learning the last 5 year, I never paid attention to just how I used to hold the knife and fork eating. There's a difference in social etiquette all the way around the world, and of course different for every culture. I think there is some merit in the way you dress, present yourself, speak, write, and communicate, and it's a never ending story. I think online Millennial's display the playful costume attire, but if you showed up at a Millionaire's home for dinner, or upper class I'm not sure they would all agree that was proper etiquette, or a formal setting. There's a time and a place for different behaviors. That is common sense. All three social classes have different ways in their lifestyle from speaking, dressing, eating, coping skills, mind set, and of course there's a lot of personal growth, evolution, and psychological development in the mix.

While the world is changing everything, I'm not one to throw the baby out with the bath water. I kind of get fascinated with some of the things I see people doing, and I just sit back and think, "Hope that works out for you." And of course because I'm a natural revolutionist myself and rebel, I often here, "Everything Goes." Now sitting at a wealthy person's house as a guest, I don't think the person would enjoy the "Wild West Gang", doing anything in their home. I've been in wealthy people's houses, they followed me around everywhere making sure I didn't knock over anything, or damage things, and neat freaks. "Do it the right way the first time, or don't do it at all." There's merit in that advice. The lower class isn't going to respect property, materialism, and finances as much as the Upper Class. They don't find value in their own self worth or what do they have, so how can they respect someone who has nice things.
 

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