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NOTABLE! Developing Relationships With Top Players - Master Thread

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But I don't know where to start or what to do with this. How do I spark a conversation with them (telephonically) or how do I show value to get them to talk to me and/or get mentorship?

How about setting up a meeting for the members of the group? As a host, you'll make it easy for yourself to connect with them. Other than that, try to offer your feedback whenever somebody asks a question. Become a visible, active member of the group and it should lead to some opportunities (same with this forum).

I like the people that I hang out with to be people that I LIKE to hang out with.

Of course, liking somebody is more important than whether they're super successful. For me personally, I'd rather hang out with a laid-back surfer than a billionaire who doesn't care about anything but himself. It's more fun to be around positive people, and I can probably learn more from the surfer than the self-absorbed guy.
 

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Real Deal Denver

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Great thread. I don't really have any inputs here. It is my opinion that we look to others too frequently while trying to get started. It is all inside of us though. I like the people that I hang out with to be people that I LIKE to hang out with.

In the real estate world, experience has told me that I don't care for the other players very much. It seems like most would rather take a kick to the stomach over an obligation to talk business with a "lesser value" person. That is not always the case though. I had an acquaintance on my softball team that shared his expertise in a friendly fashion. It felt like arrogance rather than friendly banter though.

Most people in this business are assholes. Not that I'm judging. :)

I invested and worked with a high net worth individual that was the author of a book. He referred to me as his star pupil a number of years ago. Then we went up against each other for an apartment deal. He was quick to tell me how aggressive his attorneys were. I took the challenge. It cost me 50k but I got the deal and made much more. But, we were no longer cordial to each other.

Every word is true @SteveO

Been there, too many times.

As for me, also being in real estate, I prefer a much more powerful and direct method to improve. Books.

A lot of the very successful people have written books, and I buy every one of them. I get months worth of information in a single book, so they are a very efficient use of my time. At that point, I can hold my own, and I "trade" suggestions with the high rollers I know. That's a different ball game - we are peers. Respect. Nobody knows everything, and I've had super successful people call me with a quick question. The door is open for me to do the same, but I prefer to present them with a venture of some sort that they can make money on. Cut right to the chase. I prefer high level serious talks. This is business.

Asking for some sort of mentorship just doesn't seem professional to me. These people are in business. If someone asked me, I'd steer them in the right direction and maybe give them a pointer or two - but I'm not going to allow them to be joined at my hip to learn my business.

Although education is out there, in abundance, some lessons you just have learn by doing. I'm glad to hear your apartment deal went through. No doubt you gained a lot of knowledge from that. When you reach that level of doing a deal, the help is just not there. The warning about his aggressive law firm was much more bravado than teaching or advice. Arrogance. You taught him a few new steps in that dance. Not everyone can mambo, as you know.

If that happened between us, I would certainly be cordial. I will NEVER have enough serious players in my business to associate with. And although they may be competition, I always try to have a good business relationship with them. They can feed me deals, and I can do the same for them - and I have. If they can't do a deal, I want to be first on their list of people they will call. It can be a win across the board for everyone, and it should be. You can never have too many friends like those.

Thanks for your most refreshing post @SteveO and telling it like it is in your world!
 
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0dysseus

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"people who aren't A players yet, but are on track to become them"

I like this. It kinda feels more authentic to me, since I like to think I'm going places too ;).

It would make more sense for me personally to befriend someone in a similar position, where the value we exchange would be on the similar exchange. Sure, that person won't have the experience of someone who's already made it, but I think Bill Gates likes the people he knew before he was rich better than the ones he knew after.
 

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My block on this is I can't identify who A - players are,let alone who is up and coming.

Generally speaking - watch what they do. If they talk more than they do, they're not A players and won't ever be. Don't mistake social influence for actual experience. Check their website(s), businesses, etc. If you like what you're seeing because they lead by example, then it's probably worth connecting with them.
 

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. Don't mistake social influence for actual experience.

That's probably a mistake, I'm making. That said I'm finding the ones that are doing, are not looking to connect on social media.

For example I've the source code of the guy who I'm intrested in which is on github, and hasn't been maintained for a while . I'm using it, and what to thank him. I have his name and city from the software license (I can't find him on fb,Twitter,linkedin)

I guess he is busy writing more software .

Let's look at this forum, supposedly how a lot of fastlaners can reach each other. Yet they often don't have websites or product disclosed, how can you evenbegin to validate that these really are wealthy people?
 

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For example I've the source code of the guy who I'm intrested in which is on github, and hasn't been maintained for a while . I'm using it, and what to thank him. I have his name and city from the software license (I can't find him on fb,Twitter,linkedin)

Post your thanks in a comment, send him a message there if possible, write a quick note on your blog recommending the source code, tweet about it, or something like that. Plenty of ways to thank a person, and it's possible sooner or later they'll encounter your public thank-you.

Let's look at this forum, supposedly how a lot of fastlaners can reach each other. Yet they often don't have websites or product disclosed, how can you evenbegin to validate that these really are wealthy people?

You will get a feel for it once you exchange some PMs or emails with people. Today I'm much better at judging whether someone is serious (this person doesn't have to be wealthy yet, it's all about a certain mindset) or just pretends to be.

Lastly, the best way to connect with similar people is by doing. For example, I've been on this forum for many years and now it's easier for me to reach out to other Fastlaners because they recognize me. The same in my business (self-publishing). Make a name for yourself and you'll attract like-minded people (or at least make it easier to get noticed).
 

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Post your thanks in a comment, send him a message there if possible, write a quick note on your blog recommending the source code, tweet about it, or something like that. Plenty of ways to thank a person, and it's possible sooner or later they'll encounter your public thank-you.
.

I have done all that, maybe he has seen the thank you and does not want to be contacted by anyone. I'll try not to derail the thread,but well I'm a nieve trusting sucker for this kind of fakery, non serious stuff. I need to trust, but verify. How do we verify that people really are doing as well as they claim?

I'm guessing the kind of aspirational people your talking about won't lie about their net wealth, sure they might not be rich yet and working towards it. I personally have a lot more respect for the guy with 200 bucks to his name, trying to make something, than the guy who just makes up stuff for fakebook/twit

Those genuine and honest people are not saying "I'm a millionaire" though.
 

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How do we verify that people really are doing as well as they claim?

I wish I knew a foolproof way of verifying it.

I do research and trust my gut, but you might still be wrong. I guess you develop your natural BS detector as you get more experience.
 

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I wish I knew a foolproof way of verifying it.
.

Well, if you want to verify someone has crypto holdings, just ask for a signature then check the value of their wallet on the blockchain. They can't forge the signature (without taking over bitcoin) and they can't fake the amount contained in the wallet.

Probably a fastlane disruptive business in their with foolproof validation. Probably why banks are into tokenising assets, I guess Santander can add value with a fiat backed unspoofable proof of funds that can be done cheaper and easier than the modern day.
 

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Well, if you want to verify someone has crypto holdings, just ask for a signature then check the value of their wallet on the blockchain. They can't forge the signature (without taking over bitcoin) and they can't fake the amount contained in the wallet.

Probably a fastlane disruptive business in their with foolproof validation. Probably why banks are into tokenising assets, I guess Santander can add value with a fiat backed unspoofable proof of funds that can be done cheaper and easier than the modern day.

I do know a few people that are verifiable top players. Multi-millionaires. By the way, their success goes far beyond having money - it has a lot more to do with who they are and how they do what they do. They could be successful in any number of different business ventures.

Don't think these people won't mind having you attach to them so they can be a mentor of some sort. They will mind.

If you want to truly learn their business, develop some sort of mutually beneficial business relationship that involves money. They pay you for your services, or you pay them as a consultant. In other words - this is serious.

You don't think they have things to do in their spare time, or they want some junior associate tagging along to learn their business? Get real. I assure you that they have a complete support staff to handle whatever needs to get done, and they don't relish the thought of explaining things to any of them on how to do their job properly. Much less a tag along aspiring associate of some kind.

This is all a good concept, but in reality, someone for them to mentor would be viewed by them as either a valuable business associate, or potential competition. I'm sure they already have both.

The friends I have in high places are certainly cordial and helpful - to a degree. Asking them to, more or less, teach me their business, on the other hand, would probably get me a laugh, followed by a look of "are you really that stupid?"

But good luck with that idea anyway. Just trying to tell you the way it is.
 

LittleWolfie

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I do know a few people that are verifiable top players. Multi-millionaires.

That's great, you can answer my question regardless of your own net worth.

How did you verify that they are millionaires?

I don't want to be lead ashtray by fakers again. Like @MJ DeMarco says in the fastlane book, trust but verify.

Sure, maybe their staff could do this, but if they care enough to claim riches why not care enough to verify, or have their staff do it?

I'll show you my method for crypto people.

1) go to Bitcoin talk stake my address thread.

2) throw out all unquoted messages
3) look up those address on the blockchain(identify those with the value in the range I'm intrested.
4) check with existing tools
4a) if someone wants to buy something or claims to have a certain amount (I've a million dollars in crypto, then they can send a signature from an account, if they don't they probably don't have it.

I don't need good luck with it, the banks working on it Do. I really hope Santander or SussieBank start testing outside of Spain/Switzerland closed betas.
 

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That's great, you can answer my question regardless of your own net worth.

How did you verify that they are millionaires?

They buy and sell assets worth millions. One sold a business, one is in real estate and buys million dollar homes and tears them down - and then rebuilds a 4-5 million dollar home in its place. One owns a business with three offices that "owns" their market, and he employs over 100 people. One has his own business and collects classic cars as a hobby. He has multiple buildings with steel racks to hold his car collection - I'm talking more than 6 or 7 cars - maybe 20 or more.

These people might not have any money. They might be paper millionaires with everything tied up in their business. I sure don't get to see their bank accounts, so there is no way to know for sure. But I'd bet they have the money because they live like a rock star, they act the part of being wealthy, and they definitely have the assets to back it up many times over. They know what they're doing in business.

Proof enough for me. They are as real as anyone can be as far as being successful. These people do not try to impress anyone by their success, but they definitely walk the walk and talk the talk.
 

Rich Wood

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Here are some groups that, by design, should attract high-quality people:
  • Toastmasters - a public speaking and leadership organization. If you want to improve your public speaking skills, I don't think there's a better option than Toastmasters. They have chapters all around the world so no matter where you live, there's probably one nearby (and if not, they can help you start it). I recently attended a meeting and it was really cool and very action-oriented (a lot of speaking and feedback, virtually no theory).
  • Rotary International (recommended by @Kak) - bring together business and professional leaders to provide humanitarian services, encourage high ethical standards in all vocations, and to advance goodwill and peace around the world. Like Toastmasters, there are clubs all around the world.
  • Entrepreneurs' Organization - the only global network exclusively for entrepreneurs. EO helps leading entrepreneurs learn and grow through peer-to-peer learning, once-in-a-lifetime experiences, and connections to experts.
  • Young Entrepreneur Council - the world’s most exclusive group of young entrepreneurs. Their requirements are pretty restrictive (at least $1 million in annual revenue,) so it's 100% top player kind of a group.
  • FoundersCard - a community comprised of the world's most successful and influential entrepreneurs, innovators, and business owners. They seem to be more focused on the benefits (travel, hotel, etc.) their card offers.
  • Social Enterprise Alliance - supports its members, chapters and the national social enterprise movement by convening the field, providing necessary social entrepreneurship tools and resources and raising awareness around the country. U.S. only.
  • Startup Grind - a global startup community designed to educate, inspire, and connect entrepreneurs.
  • Edward Lowe Foundation - the foundation’s entrepreneurship initiatives are focused on second-stage companies — growth-oriented firms that have moved beyond startup but haven’t yet reached maturity. Our peer learning, leadership education and strategic information programs are geared to help these companies continue growing. U.S. only.
  • Vistage - an executive coaching organization that aims to help high-integrity leaders make great decisions that benefit their companies, families, and communities.
  • Young Presidents' Organization - global platform for chief executives to engage, learn and grow. YPO members harness the knowledge, influence and trust of the world’s most influential and innovative business leaders to inspire business, personal, family and community impact.
  • Ashoka - identifies and supports the world’s leading social entrepreneurs, learns from the patterns in their innovations, and mobilizes a global community to embrace these new frameworks and build an “everyone a changemaker” world.
  • Dynamite Circle - connect with fellow entrepreneurs in all kinds of industries; from physical products and SaaS, to productized services and online courses. Mostly targeting digital nomads.
There are many other service clubs similar to Rotary (examples include: Kiwanis, Lions, Civitan International), but they don't seem to be targeting businessmen as much as Rotary.

If you have experience with any of these clubs or can recommend a different club, please share your experience!

Excellent list of groups. Well done on the list and thank you.

I'm also aware of a group in the Western United States called Corporate Alliance and the C4 group which is made up predominately of owners of mid-level revenue companies (private companies) that go on re-treats each year and hold bi-monthly lunches and events.

I also leverage my University Alumni Groups, and reach out to successful Alumni often for feedback and advice.
 

LittleWolfie

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They buy and sell assets worth millions. One sold a business, one is in real estate and buys million dollar homes and tears them down - and then rebuilds a 4-5 million dollar home in its place. One owns a business with three offices that "owns" their market, and he employs over 100 people. One has his own business and collects classic cars as a hobby. He has multiple buildings with steel racks to hold his car collection - I'm talking more than 6 or 7 cars - maybe 20 or more.

These people might not have any money. They might be paper millionaires with everything tied up in their business. I sure don't get to see their bank accounts, so there is no way to know for sure. But I'd bet they have the money because they live like a rock star, they act the part of being wealthy, and they definitely have the assets to back it up many times over. They know what they're doing in business.

Proof enough for me. They are as real as anyone can be as far as being successful. These people do not try to impress anyone by their success, but they definitely walk the walk and talk the talk.

I think my issue is because I've only been able to reach these kinds of people online. It's a lot harder to fake a visit to a 100 person office (have you been to his office?) Than a carefully curated Photoshoot or YouTube video, which is what scammers and MLMers like to do.
 

LittleWolfie

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Toastmasters is actually a group I tried to join previously, unfortunately there was nothing nearby that would fit in with transit avalibilty.

I'll have to look in to this either groups, and once I get some freelancing or retail going that will be very helpful I should think.
 

Rich Wood

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High rollers are typically very busy people. Getting on their calendar can be tricky but feasible if you know the appropriate way to ask. I worked with a colleague that is a VC, and now advise him on a Private REIT. I've assisted in his fundraising efforts, and so finding accredited investors has become a bit of a skill. I've found the best way to find like-minded successful people is the following.
1. Look to associate with the owners of your business product suppliers. The top brass of your suppliers will always meet with you as you are there customer.
2. Look to take a leadership position in an association, or board-seat. It is amazing the doors that will open up when requesting a meeting to discuss association matters - be it a NGO, or business group. These conversations naturally lead to stuff outside the association.
3. Enroll your kids in activities where the parents may be in the same socio-economic status, and it is easy to casually mingle.
4. Look at who is developing real-estate in your area (name on the sign), reach out to them, and ask to join their club (private placements). Reach out for mentoring advice if you don't have the funds yet to join.
5. I also attend technology conferences and always wait around to speak with the panelists, with the goal of setting a follow-up meeting. I've met many successful start-up entrepreneurs and VC's through this effort - real money people.

I completely agree that finding truly successful people is very important in life, and will assist you quickly in your journey to pattern your life after many of the attributes they represent and steps they have taken.
 

Andy Black

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Damn. I never saw this thread before.

Here's a tip:

"Be seen to help their people."


I joined a Facebook group of 2,500+ Irish business owners a year ago. It's the Facebook group accompanying a large business directory of 130,000+ Irish businesses. I joined to be a peer, not to pitch as a digital marketer.

I bounced around as I normally do, helping people, supporting people, and not doing that insufferable "content marketing". The group owner spotted me being active and supportive. She messaged me asking to have a quick chat. In that chat she learned what I do (because I never mentioned it in the group). She asked if I wanted to be in the VIP group for $150/year. I said of course and paid. I prefer paid groups as they're less spammy.

She eventually got me to do a free workshop for the main group. The recording will go into the paid group.

She loved the workshop so much that she asked me to call her again. I'm now going to help her grow and increase engagement in the free group, as well as add value monthly to her VIP group. I also offered to help her setup a training portal and move the VIP group out of Facebook. She's delighted of course and we're chatting every week now and get on like a house on fire.

She waived my annual membership fee. That's happened quite a lot when I'm in forums and Facebook groups.

Simple really.
 

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I bounced around as I normally do, helping people, supporting people, and not doing that insufferable "content marketing".

What you do, Andy, is called the strategy of preeminence by Jay Abraham. Excellent work, and not because you got that fee waived but because of how much value you must have offered for free.
 

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What you do, Andy, is called the strategy of preeminence by Jay Abraham. Excellent work, and not because you got that fee waived but because of how much value you must have offered for free.
I didn’t add loads of “value” in the sense of dropping knowledge bombs (aka value vomiting). I just became an active member in a group she wants more engagement in.

While most people are lurking, the rest are either posting pictures of work they’ve done or their latest promos, or they’re linking out to helpful articles and podcasts they’ve written.

What do all group owners want? They want to build a community and they want engagement. If I’m bouncing around engaging with people and just generally being friendly and welcoming then that’s exactly what they want more of.

No sneaky tactics required. No courses to take or books to read.

Just act how you would if you walked into a lounge full of business people.
 

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Assuming you aren't an introvert :happy:
I’m an introvert.

I’d see who was looking up and maybe wander over near them.

What I wouldn’t do is stand up and shout out how I’m “delighted“ to have been awarded XYZ.

I wouldn’t stand up and tell everyone to look at these pictures of a new website I’ve just built for a client.

I wouldn’t stand up and tell everyone 10 tips on ABC. (I might do later on when folks keep asking me for it.)

I wouldn’t tell someone who’s stood up asking for help to PM me. I’d probably tell them what they need there and then.
 

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the strategy of preeminence by Jay Abraham. Excellent work, and not because you got that fee waived but because of how much value you must have offered for free.
This brings up an interesting point... I run a direct response agency, so I get to look behind the hood in a lot of businesses. Some business owners take this approach, others take the opposite and are super focused on their goals and blocking out everyone who is not relevant. Kinda sucks when you finish your work with them and reach that stage lol! Then they wake up again later on when they need help again

I have to ask you this though... when is giving value for free a negative for your growth/business? It may be tempting to answer never, but then you’re clearly not maximizing for long-term growth because you’re spending all this time on free value rather than paid value.

Even Jay Abraham, if you remember he used to run 25K/seat seminars in the 80s, not a lot about free value.

In sales circles, there is this book called The Challenger Sale. Research shows that the most effective salespeople are those who challenge their customer’s worldview and teach them to discover new, more effective perspectives. And the worst performer? That’s the Relationship Builder! The guy who tries to become friends with the customers. What are your thoughts?
 
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Andy Black

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This brings up an interesting point... I run a direct response agency, so I get to look behind the hood in a lot of businesses. Some business owners take this approach, others take the opposite and are super focused on their goals and blocking out everyone who is not relevant. Kinda sucks when you finish your work with them and reach that stage lol! Then they wake up again later on when they need help again

I have to ask you this though... when is giving value for free a negative for your growth/business? It may be tempting to answer never, but then you’re clearly not maximizing for long-term growth because you’re spending all this time on free value rather than paid value.

Even Jay Abraham, if you remember he used to run 25K/seat seminars in the 80s, not a lot about free value.

In sales circles, there is this book called The Challenger Sale. Research shows that the most effective salespeople are those who challenge their customer’s worldview and teach them to discover new, more effective perspectives. And the worst performer? That’s the Relationship Builder! The guy who tries to become friends with the customers. What are your thoughts?
Have you read or listened to "Give and Take"? According to that book (and the copious studies referenced in it), the guys who did the least well in their careers were Givers. The Matchers and Takers progressed ahead of them. The guys at the top of the ladder were Givers too. "The Giver Sandwich" is what @Kak called it. The trick is that the Givers who progressed did so by protecting their downside (amongst other things).

I don't try to become friends with customers. It may happen, or it may not. I'm fascinated by all people and what makes them tick, until they show themself as a taker, or rude, or whatever. Then I just cut them out of my life.
 

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Andy Black

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I can help more people if I get paid. Otherwise I'll have to go get a job and then I'm not helping people anymore.

I view it as doing people a disservice if we go out of business.
 

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SOLID video, probably the best thing I've ever watched about networking:

View: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YodeBu7vUGY

Great video.

What worked really well for me is to create a summit or a podcast.

If you have your own show, it's super easy to reach out to people and ask them for an interview.

For example, I started simply by interviewing interesting people from this forum for my podcast.

There is typically always some time for personal stuff afterwards.

(Thanks @Andy Black , I'm still sorry I did not publish our interview but it helped a lot!)

Btw. if you host a virtual summit on some very specific topic, it's also the fastest way to get massive expertise in an area from experts for free and make money from it.

If you do it like I did for a charity, you will not make money directly but you'll build massive goodwill.
 

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