Developing Relationships With Top Players - Master Thread

[MTF]

You've probably heard it at least a few times before: you're the average of the five people you spend the most time with. Personally, I can't stand hearing it in every single article about being successful, but there's some truth in it.

Social influence is real - we tend to behave in a similar way to people close to us. We copy their vocabulary, gestures, share at least some of their opinions, and often, even expectations and ambitions.

I've always been a loner and it never really bothered me that I didn't fit in. At least I wasn't imitating the masses and blazed my own path.

But recently I realized that if you want to grow, sooner or later you should spend more time and energy developing relationships with people who will inspire you to get to the next level.

It doesn't mean not hanging out with your current friends anymore, cutting people from your life just because they aren't entrepreneurs or looking down on anyone who doesn't share your views. It simply means upgrading your social environment so you can expose yourself to new ways of thinking, new perspectives, new standards, and ultimately, accelerate your personal growth.

Hence, this thread. I'd like to use it as a sort of a depository of the best lessons, strategies, articles, videos, and other resources specifically about developing relationships with top players as I know that if I have issues with that, other probably have them, too.

I need to emphasize that this isn't merely about making new friends - I'm talking specifically about connecting with people who think big, whether they're successful businessmen, investors, athletes, musicians, authors, public speakers, doctors, lawyers, filmmakers, etc. - including people who aren't A players yet, but are on track to become them.

And just so it's clear: this is about connecting with them because you know that you can be of value to them (and obviously, they can be of value to you), not because you just want to get something out of them.

Now that we're done with all the disclaimers, let's start (continued in the next post for readability)...

 

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[MTF]

In Jesse Itzler's books (Living with a SEAL and Living with the Monks) he shared two cool strategies he uses to connect with top players:

1. Just ask them to be your friends. Direct quote from "Living with a SEAL": "This is a habit I have. When I see or read about someone interesting, I call them up and basically ask them to be my friend." Jesse is a well-known businessman and investor, so it's probably much easier for him to make it work.

However, I think that it can work, to some extent, for those who aren't as influential, too. For example, you could cold email a person you admire and sell yourself as a valuable potential contact by offering some feedback about their recent project, website, or whatever.

Also, you don't necessarily have to reach out to the most famous guy. The current top bestselling business author is probably much harder to connect with than a guy whose books were bestsellers in the 90s or 00s (and he can be more insightful, too).

2. Writing thank-you letters. Jesse writes: "When I was in my twenties I wrote ten handwritten letters every day to thank people." He also mentions this strategy in this interview.

Jordan Harbinger writes about a similar strategy in his Level One free networking course (you can sign up for free here: Level One: High Caliber Networking Intensive). He essentially recommends reaching out cold to someone you admire and with whom you want to connect by leaving a comment on the article they wrote, reviewing their book or reaching out to them on LinkedIn, Twitter, or Facebook and telling them that you're a fan.

It's very easy to do and I started doing it more often recently. Even if it doesn't lead to anything other than a quick reply, at least you're spreading some gratitude.

I like Jesse's approach more, though, because it takes a lot more work to send a handwritten letter so it's much more uncommon. It's also a bit harder because you won't always be able to find a physical address of the person you'd like to reach.

 

[MTF]

I've never used it, but www.Clarity.fm looks like a really cool opportunity to connect with top players.

Yes, you're paying them for their time and you probably won't befriend them just by booking a call with them, but you can pay for 10 minutes of their time and get some really good insights to help you grow your business.

It's almost like mentorship on demand, and it's not really that expensive if you focus on asking only the most essential questions (and thus, limiting the length of your call).