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NOTABLE! Developing Relationships With Top Players - Master Thread

Discussion in 'People & Relationships' started by MTF, Jun 27, 2018.

  1. MTF
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    MTF Never give up Read Millionaire Fastlane I've Read UNSCRIPTED FASTLANE INSIDER Speedway Pass LEGENDARY CONTRIBUTOR

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    You've probably heard it at least a few times before: you're the average of the five people you spend the most time with. Personally, I can't stand hearing it in every single article about being successful, but there's some truth in it.

    Social influence is real - we tend to behave in a similar way to people close to us. We copy their vocabulary, gestures, share at least some of their opinions, and often, even expectations and ambitions.

    I've always been a loner and it never really bothered me that I didn't fit in. At least I wasn't imitating the masses and blazed my own path.

    But recently I realized that if you want to grow, sooner or later you should spend more time and energy developing relationships with people who will inspire you to get to the next level.

    It doesn't mean not hanging out with your current friends anymore, cutting people from your life just because they aren't entrepreneurs or looking down on anyone who doesn't share your views. It simply means upgrading your social environment so you can expose yourself to new ways of thinking, new perspectives, new standards, and ultimately, accelerate your personal growth.

    Hence, this thread. I'd like to use it as a sort of a depository of the best lessons, strategies, articles, videos, and other resources specifically about developing relationships with top players as I know that if I have issues with that, other probably have them, too.

    I need to emphasize that this isn't merely about making new friends - I'm talking specifically about connecting with people who think big, whether they're successful businessmen, investors, athletes, musicians, authors, public speakers, doctors, lawyers, filmmakers, etc. - including people who aren't A players yet, but are on track to become them.

    And just so it's clear: this is about connecting with them because you know that you can be of value to them (and obviously, they can be of value to you), not because you just want to get something out of them.

    Now that we're done with all the disclaimers, let's start (continued in the next post for readability)...
     
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  2. MTF
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    MTF Never give up Read Millionaire Fastlane I've Read UNSCRIPTED FASTLANE INSIDER Speedway Pass LEGENDARY CONTRIBUTOR

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    In Jesse Itzler's books (Living with a SEAL and Living with the Monks) he shared two cool strategies he uses to connect with top players:

    1. Just ask them to be your friends. Direct quote from "Living with a SEAL": "This is a habit I have. When I see or read about someone interesting, I call them up and basically ask them to be my friend." Jesse is a well-known businessman and investor, so it's probably much easier for him to make it work.

    However, I think that it can work, to some extent, for those who aren't as influential, too. For example, you could cold email a person you admire and sell yourself as a valuable potential contact by offering some feedback about their recent project, website, or whatever.

    Also, you don't necessarily have to reach out to the most famous guy. The current top bestselling business author is probably much harder to connect with than a guy whose books were bestsellers in the 90s or 00s (and he can be more insightful, too).

    2. Writing thank-you letters. Jesse writes: "When I was in my twenties I wrote ten handwritten letters every day to thank people." He also mentions this strategy in this interview.

    Jordan Harbinger writes about a similar strategy in his Level One free networking course (you can sign up for free here: Level One: High Caliber Networking Intensive). He essentially recommends reaching out cold to someone you admire and with whom you want to connect by leaving a comment on the article they wrote, reviewing their book or reaching out to them on LinkedIn, Twitter, or Facebook and telling them that you're a fan.

    It's very easy to do and I started doing it more often recently. Even if it doesn't lead to anything other than a quick reply, at least you're spreading some gratitude.

    I like Jesse's approach more, though, because it takes a lot more work to send a handwritten letter so it's much more uncommon. It's also a bit harder because you won't always be able to find a physical address of the person you'd like to reach.
     
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  3. MTF
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    MTF Never give up Read Millionaire Fastlane I've Read UNSCRIPTED FASTLANE INSIDER Speedway Pass LEGENDARY CONTRIBUTOR

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    I've never used it, but www.Clarity.fm looks like a really cool opportunity to connect with top players.

    Yes, you're paying them for their time and you probably won't befriend them just by booking a call with them, but you can pay for 10 minutes of their time and get some really good insights to help you grow your business.

    It's almost like mentorship on demand, and it's not really that expensive if you focus on asking only the most essential questions (and thus, limiting the length of your call).
     
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  4. MTF
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    MTF Never give up Read Millionaire Fastlane I've Read UNSCRIPTED FASTLANE INSIDER Speedway Pass LEGENDARY CONTRIBUTOR

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    @Kak's response to my question about networking:

     
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  5. Mattie
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    Mattie Platinum Contributor Speedway Pass

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    Thanks for sharing.
     
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  6. TinyOldLady
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    TinyOldLady Bronze Contributor Read Millionaire Fastlane I've Read UNSCRIPTED Speedway Pass

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    sooo, @MTF , do you want to be my friend? :smile:

    Yesterday I had the pleasure to talk to two nobel prize laureates. Even if they were not physicists, it was a bit like a dream :happy:, because I always wanted to be one of them. Now how did I do that? I went to an event where they meet. This is my strategy, just find an event where you can find the person you want to meet, like conferences, concerts, ...
     
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  7. MTF
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    MTF Never give up Read Millionaire Fastlane I've Read UNSCRIPTED FASTLANE INSIDER Speedway Pass LEGENDARY CONTRIBUTOR

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    Haha sure.

    I like it. I came up with something similar today - figure out what drives the person you want to meet, find something that you both share, do something in this sphere, and chances are you'll naturally meet them somewhere along the journey.

    For example, if a person you like to meet is passionate about saving rainforests and you happen to care about the environment, too, you can become an advocate of an organization working in this field, and thus, put yourself on the radar of the person you'd like to connect with. Or if you want to meet an ultramarathoner, then run an ultra and you'll either meet them or at least meet people who know them (and who can possibly introduce you).
     
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  8. Dylan Hobrecht
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    Dylan Hobrecht Contributor Read Millionaire Fastlane I've Read UNSCRIPTED FASTLANE INSIDER

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    This sounds like a really great idea. I could only imagine the people I could meet!

    Jordan Harbinger is a really great guy too. Wouldn’t mind taking his course. I’ve heard of finding [like interest] in Dale Carnegie’s book “how to win and influence friends!”

    I’ve been doing ten calls a day. Each and everyday, but I ran out of people. I should have innovated out of my facebook friends before I stopped. I really didn’t see it coming. I should expect that when there is only soo many people.

    Thanks for the good info!


    Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
     
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  9. MTF
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    MTF Never give up Read Millionaire Fastlane I've Read UNSCRIPTED FASTLANE INSIDER Speedway Pass LEGENDARY CONTRIBUTOR

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    Level One is for free (I'm doing it now). The paid one - not sure what to think of it, I'll think about it once I complete the free course.
     
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  10. rollerskates
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    rollerskates Silver Contributor Read Millionaire Fastlane I've Read UNSCRIPTED Speedway Pass

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    And HAND write them, no computer, no printer. And anyone who hasn't learned cursive, please do so, it's an important skill that isn't being taught anymore in most schools.
     
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  11. Fox
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    Fox Moderator Staff Member Read Millionaire Fastlane I've Read UNSCRIPTED FASTLANE INSIDER Speedway Pass LEGENDARY CONTRIBUTOR

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    Great job @MTF - your posts have been super high value lately (and in the past too ha!).
    +Rep
     
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  12. Kak
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    Kak Capitalist Swine Read Millionaire Fastlane FASTLANE INSIDER Speedway Pass LEGENDARY CONTRIBUTOR Summit Attendee

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    Nice tips on thank you letters. I’m going to try that.

    Courses on how to meet top notch people? I definitely wouldn’t.

    You honestly just need to have something interesting going on and the people follow. That is my number 1 way I have met key players in my business life.

    Next... Be one of these people. Spend time doing the same things that these people because you are one. Example... Get good at golf, and genuinely enjoy it. Tennis too. Give money to charity. Sign up for charity golf tournaments. Go to charity galas and auctions.

    Finally lead these people. They respect you, in some ways above themselves. Not because you bragged about how bad a$$ you are, because you actually are bad a$$ to them. They ask your advice. To them, you are more interesting than they are. What you have going on is a huge game changer there will be no shortage of help, advice and networking available to you. Be the trend setter.
     
    Last edited: Jun 27, 2018
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  13. Kak
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    Kak Capitalist Swine Read Millionaire Fastlane FASTLANE INSIDER Speedway Pass LEGENDARY CONTRIBUTOR Summit Attendee

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    Unfortunately, I highly doubt the “top players” are there trading their time for money.
     
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  14. Solrac
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    Solrac Bronze Contributor Read Millionaire Fastlane I've Read UNSCRIPTED FASTLANE INSIDER Speedway Pass

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    I checked out that site once a few years ago and saw Mark Cuban on there. He was charging $500 a minute. I don't know if he's still around on there (or why he would be) but it definitely was a surprise ($500 a minute is a STEAL for Mark).
     
  15. Hugh Nivers
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    Hugh Nivers Bronze Contributor Read Millionaire Fastlane I've Read UNSCRIPTED Speedway Pass

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    Great topic @MTF +Rep

    It's really funny that you bring this up. It must be the hundredth monkey effect or something because I've been posting about this on other groups quite a bit. Like you, I tend to be to myself more than hanging out with lots of people, but that does have its consequences, so I've decided recently to 'pay to play' by buying in a program where I have access to people with good business cred. In my 49 years I've never done anything like this as I've always been afraid to be scammed, but before I'm dead, I'd like to personally know what it's like to do something like this. It's an experiment and if I lose my money, it's okay, I'll survive. And either way I'll be one experience richer.

    I do believe that reading books and participating on forums and watching youtube videos can impart some of the 'mindset' of successful people that can help you to absorb some of that goodness, but I think being in the room, in real time, is even more special, and can have a greater impact. I imagine going to the summit in February would be amazing. You have to pay to go to that, even if it's just travel, food, and accommodations.

    So in short, I'm with you on this one. I'm planning to step up my networking, but only networking with high-quality folks. And, I have to be willing to pay for those opportunities. Am I wrong?
     
  16. Kak
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    Kak Capitalist Swine Read Millionaire Fastlane FASTLANE INSIDER Speedway Pass LEGENDARY CONTRIBUTOR Summit Attendee

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    I stand corrected.
     
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  17. Bdenner64
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    Bdenner64 Silver Contributor Read Millionaire Fastlane I've Read UNSCRIPTED FASTLANE INSIDER Speedway Pass Summit Attendee

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    The two main things which have really expanded my network:

    1. When you get advice, implement it. And after you implement it, let the person know what you did and how it went. I have had people I meet with actually thank me and offer to "mentor" me because finally, someone actually took action on what they suggested. It makes them feel valuable and helpful.

    2. Thank them for their time and politely ask if they know anyone else who might be good to meet. If you do this at the end of every meeting, you will always have a followup meeting. And guess what, this gives you a bulletproof way to implement what I wrote above.

    Also, check out anything and everything by Keith Ferrazzi. He delivers high quality content and his books 'Never Eat Alone' & 'Whos Got Your Back' are excellent.
     
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  18. MTF
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    MTF Never give up Read Millionaire Fastlane I've Read UNSCRIPTED FASTLANE INSIDER Speedway Pass LEGENDARY CONTRIBUTOR

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    Yes, that's what Jesse Itzler emphasized, too. I just remembered that Richard Branson and Stephen Colbert are doing it, too.

    Thanks, man. I wanted to contribute more since I get so much out of this place.

    I'm glad to hear that. I'm going to try that, too (my handwriting is horrible, though, so I'll have to work on it).

    Great tips, thank you. I spent about a year learning tennis with a coach and ultimately stopped playing because I sucked at it a lot. But well, at least I know the basics. Perhaps I should try golf.

    I remember reading an interview with a successful guy (don't remember who) in which he said he makes himself available on Clarity because he sends all the money earned on Clarity to charities. With a rate of $50-100+ per minute you won't get many questions anyway, and people who will ask you are probably potential valuable contacts.

    Perhaps you won't find the absolute top performers there, but you can find a lot of people very experienced in what they do. Some examples: Tucker Max and Ryan Holiday (book publishing, marketing, PR), Ariel Poler (angel investing, startups), Dan Martell (creator of Clarity.fm, experience in venture capital), Joel Comm (internet marketing) or Hal Elrod (public speaking, he gets $10,000+ per speech).

    Then there are also people connected with top players like Darya Rose (Kevin Rose's wife) or Claudia Azula Altucher (James Altucher's wife) or people who've been in the same industry for years and can probably give you tips how to network within it.

    He indeed was there, but isn't available now: Mark Cuban - Expert - Clarity His last rate was $166.67 per minute. He actually became one of the investors after signing up on the site.

    How did you find it and how do you know whether it's legitimate? I considered something similar but decided against it when I learned that one of the guys who created it is behind a shady MLM.

    By the way, thank you for rep transfer!

    I think that at some point forums, videos and stuff like that is no longer that helpful and you want more (and that's when you create a thread on the forum asking for tips on how to network lol).

    Obviously I'm not an expert at all, but I guess that it depends on the offer. If you're paying to join a group with several hundred people who all want access to the guys who created the group, then you probably won't get much value out of it. If it's a very expensive, limited to, say, 10-20 people, group, then I believe it might be effective. I think that something like Tony Robbins' Platinum Partnership might be valuable.
     
    Last edited: Jun 28, 2018
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  19. MTF
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    MTF Never give up Read Millionaire Fastlane I've Read UNSCRIPTED FASTLANE INSIDER Speedway Pass LEGENDARY CONTRIBUTOR

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    According to Dan Kennedy, author of "No B.S. Marketing to the Affluent", affluent (defined as millionaires or multimillionaires) are spending money primarily on experiences and exclusivity. Some examples cited in the book:
    • home furnishings,
    • women's evening apparel,
    • fine jewelry,
    • artwork, collectibles.
    If you're in one of these industries, you'll probably have easier access to them.

    To better understand the affluent, he suggests reading the following magazines (I excluded the ones that no longer exist):
    • Elite Traveler,
    • Forbes,
    • Fortune,
    • Robb Report,
    • Town & Country,
    • Upscale,
    • Worth.
    And here are some places he recommends to go to:
    • classic car shows, such as Barrett-Jackson,
    • boat shows,
    • Boca Raton, Florida,
    • Scottsdale, Arizona (lol, many Fastlaners already there),
    • Bridgeport, Connecticut,
    • Jackson Hole, Wyoming
    According to a report from Wealth-X, a market research firm that focuses on ultra-high net worth (UHNW) individuals ($30 million or more in assets), here are the top interests of rich people (starting from the most popular one):
    1. Philanthropy — 56.3%
    2. Travel — 31%
    3. Art — 28.7%
    4. Fashion and style — 25.2%
    5. Politics — 22.2%
    6. Wine and spirits — 15.9%
    7. Boating — 14.9%
    8. Health and exercise — 14.8%
    9. Automobiles — 14.5%
    10. Collectibles — 14.1%
    11. Football/soccer — 13.1%
    12. Reading — 12.3%
    13. Cultural events — 12.1%
    14. Golf — 11%
    15. Dining — 10.9%
    16. Hunting — 8.8%
    17. Jewelry — 8.1%
    18. Fishing — 7.8%
    19. Watches — 7.7%
    20. Skiing — 7.2%
    Obviously, not every affluent person cares about luxury living and there are plenty of successful people who shop exclusively at Walmart and don't have any expensive hobbies. Still, there's a higher chance to meet top players engaging in the aforementioned hobbies and visiting the aforementioned places.
     
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  20. MTF
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    MTF Never give up Read Millionaire Fastlane I've Read UNSCRIPTED FASTLANE INSIDER Speedway Pass LEGENDARY CONTRIBUTOR

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    Definitely. 99% of people never take any action, so you can immediately stand out if you act and then follow up with your results.

    Great advice! I guess you can also use it when reaching out to someone by email. And the best part is that they will probably introduce you to the other person which makes it much easier to connect.

    Thank you for the recommendations. I read "Never Eat Alone" and I remember that it wasn't very introvert-friendly (he recommended regularly organizing big parties or something like that).
     
  21. ShellShock
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    ShellShock Contributor Read Millionaire Fastlane I've Read UNSCRIPTED

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    Thank you for the resources you recommended. Keep it going.
     
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  22. Bdenner64
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    Bdenner64 Silver Contributor Read Millionaire Fastlane I've Read UNSCRIPTED FASTLANE INSIDER Speedway Pass Summit Attendee

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    Cool thing is that if you don't want to host parties there are so many other ways to build a powerful network that Keith digs into. The one I really like as an introverted guy is to build valuable relationships with people who already have their own big networks (a.k.a. influencers). Then, even though I don't personally know a ton of people I still have a wide network by association.
     
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  23. MTF
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    MTF Never give up Read Millionaire Fastlane I've Read UNSCRIPTED FASTLANE INSIDER Speedway Pass LEGENDARY CONTRIBUTOR

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    Here are some groups that, by design, should attract high-quality people:
    • Toastmasters - a public speaking and leadership organization. If you want to improve your public speaking skills, I don't think there's a better option than Toastmasters. They have chapters all around the world so no matter where you live, there's probably one nearby (and if not, they can help you start it). I recently attended a meeting and it was really cool and very action-oriented (a lot of speaking and feedback, virtually no theory).
    • Rotary International (recommended by @Kak) - bring together business and professional leaders to provide humanitarian services, encourage high ethical standards in all vocations, and to advance goodwill and peace around the world. Like Toastmasters, there are clubs all around the world.
    • Entrepreneurs' Organization - the only global network exclusively for entrepreneurs. EO helps leading entrepreneurs learn and grow through peer-to-peer learning, once-in-a-lifetime experiences, and connections to experts.
    • Young Entrepreneur Council - the world’s most exclusive group of young entrepreneurs. Their requirements are pretty restrictive (at least $1 million in annual revenue,) so it's 100% top player kind of a group.
    • FoundersCard - a community comprised of the world's most successful and influential entrepreneurs, innovators, and business owners. They seem to be more focused on the benefits (travel, hotel, etc.) their card offers.
    • Social Enterprise Alliance - supports its members, chapters and the national social enterprise movement by convening the field, providing necessary social entrepreneurship tools and resources and raising awareness around the country. U.S. only.
    • Startup Grind - a global startup community designed to educate, inspire, and connect entrepreneurs.
    • Edward Lowe Foundation - the foundation’s entrepreneurship initiatives are focused on second-stage companies — growth-oriented firms that have moved beyond startup but haven’t yet reached maturity. Our peer learning, leadership education and strategic information programs are geared to help these companies continue growing. U.S. only.
    • Vistage - an executive coaching organization that aims to help high-integrity leaders make great decisions that benefit their companies, families, and communities.
    • Young Presidents' Organization - global platform for chief executives to engage, learn and grow. YPO members harness the knowledge, influence and trust of the world’s most influential and innovative business leaders to inspire business, personal, family and community impact.
    • Ashoka - identifies and supports the world’s leading social entrepreneurs, learns from the patterns in their innovations, and mobilizes a global community to embrace these new frameworks and build an “everyone a changemaker” world.
    • Dynamite Circle - connect with fellow entrepreneurs in all kinds of industries; from physical products and SaaS, to productized services and online courses. Mostly targeting digital nomads.
    There are many other service clubs similar to Rotary (examples include: Kiwanis, Lions, Civitan International), but they don't seem to be targeting businessmen as much as Rotary.

    If you have experience with any of these clubs or can recommend a different club, please share your experience!
     
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  24. stallone
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    stallone Contributor Read Millionaire Fastlane I've Read UNSCRIPTED

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    I've used clarity.fm and it worked well. It's like an extra pair of eyes before making a big change (in my case, pricing). I recommend it.
     
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  25. stallone
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    stallone Contributor Read Millionaire Fastlane I've Read UNSCRIPTED

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    One trick that seems unstoppable to me (but to be frank, I haven't tried it; no empirical evidence from me here!) is the '10 meetings' technique from 'The lessons school forgot' by Steve Sammartino. It goes like this:

    You want to understand a market. In his book, it's all about getting a job there, but for us Fastlaners it'd be about creating a product.

    - Pick a person in that market you could meet. Send a nice email asking for 20 min of their time for coffee (plenty of ways to do this wrong, but I know people here don't need a how-to)
    - Have an informal converation. Show that you are an outsider, but passionate about, their industry. Let them talk and just listen. You will learn a lot.
    - When time is over, ask if they could recommend you someone else to talk to to understand the industry. They may even do an intro for you.
    - On the second conversation, you are no longer an outsider and can do slightly better questions. Repeat
    - By conversation #5 you sound like you know what you are talking about
    - By conversation #10 you are an insider, and you have spent quality time with some captains of the industry.
     
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