My "what the F*ck have I done with my life" moment..

[SK1]

<div class="bbWrapper">Hi all.<br /> <br /> Friday 18th January - My &quot;what the F*ck have I done with my life&quot; moment.<br /> <br /> 8:15am<br /> I am done.<br /> <br /> I stand on the side of the M50 motorway in rural England. The green pleasant hills are white with frost. I cannot feel my toes, my ears are burning with cold and my whole body unconsciously shakes. Another bitter chill sweeps through my body as the heavy traffic streams past dragging the icy air through my chilled body. My work shirt, tie and tweed blazer do little to protect my body from the arctic temperatures.<br /> <br /> A phone call from the RAC, a brief moment of hope, however, the recovery company does little to warm my soul as they announce that they will be with me by 10.30am. Shit, two more hours in theses freezing conditions. What has my life become!<br /> <br /> I walk away from my 12 year old BMW that has 190,00 miles on the clock, looking for a safe place to wait, hoping to find any slight cover from the wind chill.<br /> <br /> This is the first real moment that it smacks me in the face. <br /> <br /> My mind starts to race, looking for answers;<br /> I think I have done everything right; I did well at school, got skilled in a trade, qualified as an Engineer, did a degree, got a masters degree, became a teacher, climbed the ladder - team leader, head of department and now to curriculum leader. I get paid over £40,000 per year- the most I have ever earnt, I do loads of extra hours, often topping 60 hours per week, and feel like I am making a difference in a job that I mostly enjoy. In fact, I earn more than most people I know but usually appear to have less.<br /> <br /> I got married, bought a house - with a mortgage, had children, had a holiday once a year and occasionally buy myself a gadget or toy that the manipulated advertising ploys make me think that I cannot live my life without!<br /> <br /> To this point, I have done everything the way I was told to. <br /> <br /> So why am I miserable, broke, driving an old banger that has finally had enough and now freezing by testicals off on the side of the motorway? Why am i in this position? Did I miss something? <br /> <br /> F*ck, I must have missed something... whack, slap number two...<br /> <br /> My mind turns to the recovery truck. Oh no, the policy is in my wife&#039;s name, we didn&#039;t add me as it wasn&#039;t an essential cost, will they charge me? Do I have enough money in the bank to pay them? I check my phone app, crap £37.87 in credit. Shit, payday is another 9 days away; I will be stuck here forever and turn into a block of ice, glistening in the sun that is starting to break through.<br /> <br /> Whack - sucker punch number 3.<br /> <br /> It hits me.<br /> And I am forced to admit it for the first time.<br /> <br /> I am poor.<br /> <br /> But how has this happened? <br /> Is it my fault? or have I been mis-sold a dream?<br /> <br /> Whatever has happened, it is not going to continue....</div>

 

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[RazorCut]

<div class="bbWrapper">Welcome <a href="https://www.thefastlaneforum.com/community/members/64451/" class="username" data-xf-init="member-tooltip" data-user-id="64451" data-username="@SK1">@SK1</a> <br /> <br /> Seems like the cold has finally woken you to the harsh reality of regular slowlane life. A F*ck This Event is a powerful awaking. The thing is what are you going to do about it? What have you done/decided since the 18th?<br /> <br /> What will your story be this time next year?</div>

 

[SteveO]

<div class="bbWrapper">These moments are going to come whether you are rich or poor. They are not pleasant for sure. But, it will be a memory recall soon. Something to laugh at.<br /> <br /> There will be major challenges around the corner all though life. <br /> <br /> Thanks for the great story and welcome to the forum.</div>

 

[SK1]

<div class="bbWrapper"><blockquote data-attributes="member: 23242" data-quote="RazorCut" data-source="post: 755677" class="bbCodeBlock bbCodeBlock--expandable bbCodeBlock--quote js-expandWatch"> <div class="bbCodeBlock-title"> <a href="/community/goto/post?id=755677" class="bbCodeBlock-sourceJump" rel="nofollow" data-xf-click="attribution" data-content-selector="#post-755677">RazorCut said:</a> </div> <div class="bbCodeBlock-content"> <div class="bbCodeBlock-expandContent js-expandContent "> Welcome <a href="https://www.thefastlaneforum.com/community/members/64451/" class="username" data-xf-init="member-tooltip" data-user-id="64451" data-username="@SK1">@SK1</a><br /> <br /> Seems like the cold has finally woken you to the harsh reality of regular slowlane life. A f*ck This Event is a powerful awaking. The thing is what are you going to do about it? What have you done/decided since the 18th?<br /> <br /> What will your story be this time next year? </div> <div class="bbCodeBlock-expandLink js-expandLink"><a role="button" tabindex="0">Click to expand...</a></div> </div> </blockquote><br /> <br /> Hi RazorCut, <br /> <br /> Thanks for the reply.<br /> Since 18th I have ensured that I completed the first book and now considering my forward movement.<br /> <br /> I have some slowlane shackles and my wife has recently given birth, now on state maternity pay until May when it stops. I do feel stuck in my job for now until I can get something else to pay the bills.<br /> <br /> I have some ideas - some of them I have sat on for quite a few years and some new. <br /> <br /> Just needing to get on with it now....<br /> <br /> As I keep seeing recently - ideas and knowledge are nothing without application.</div>

 

[SK1]

<div class="bbWrapper">So today I created my first, very basic android app.<br /> <br /> Been sitting on the idea for about 4 years. Today was the first step in the process to realising my idea.<br /> <br /> My journey is in process.</div>

 

[JG17]

<div class="bbWrapper">Hello mate. Always good to see the UK contingent growing on here. Also, very well written story, thanks for sharing!<br /> <br /> Great that you&#039;ve taken action straight away, what are the next steps?</div>

 

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[SK1]

<div class="bbWrapper">Hi James.<br /> <br /> Yea, good to know a few from UK are on here - on offence to anyone else!<br /> <br /> Next steps - <br /> - Continue my app development training<br /> - make a basic productivity app - with niche and monetize.<br /> - develop process for main app idea<br /> - find some way to get out of my 9-5 whilst supporting my family income needs (£2k per month) so I can spend more time and energy developing my app. When I say 9-5 I mean 6-6 + evening and weekend work... can you salary paid job (we won&#039;t pay per hour just give you a salary and expect you to work the hours needed - which means loads = crap hourly rate)</div>

 

[MJ DeMarco]

<div class="bbWrapper">Sorry to hear the story, sounds a bit like mine many moons ago. <br /> <br /> Welcome aboard.</div>

 

[SK1]

<div class="bbWrapper"><blockquote data-attributes="member: 1" data-quote="MJ DeMarco" data-source="post: 755896" class="bbCodeBlock bbCodeBlock--expandable bbCodeBlock--quote js-expandWatch"> <div class="bbCodeBlock-title"> <a href="/community/goto/post?id=755896" class="bbCodeBlock-sourceJump" rel="nofollow" data-xf-click="attribution" data-content-selector="#post-755896">MJ DeMarco said:</a> </div> <div class="bbCodeBlock-content"> <div class="bbCodeBlock-expandContent js-expandContent "> Sorry to hear the story, sounds a bit like mine many moons ago. <br /> <br /> Welcome aboard. </div> <div class="bbCodeBlock-expandLink js-expandLink"><a role="button" tabindex="0">Click to expand...</a></div> </div> </blockquote><br /> <br /> Nothing to be sorry for MJ - It is the fuel to energise my progress.<br /> <br /> If I make 5% of the difference that you have made, I will be quite happy!!<br /> <br /> Thank you. Regards!!</div>

 

[ctargett]

<div class="bbWrapper">Great to see you&#039;ve had your AHA moment! also good to see someone from the UK on here, will be following your journey to see how the app comes along.</div>

 

[Roli]

<div class="bbWrapper"><blockquote data-attributes="member: 64451" data-quote="SK1" data-source="post: 755675" class="bbCodeBlock bbCodeBlock--expandable bbCodeBlock--quote js-expandWatch"> <div class="bbCodeBlock-title"> <a href="/community/goto/post?id=755675" class="bbCodeBlock-sourceJump" rel="nofollow" data-xf-click="attribution" data-content-selector="#post-755675">SK1 said:</a> </div> <div class="bbCodeBlock-content"> <div class="bbCodeBlock-expandContent js-expandContent "> Hi all.<br /> <br /> Friday 18th January - My &quot;what the f*ck have I done with my life&quot; moment.<br /> <br /> 8:15am<br /> I am done.<br /> <br /> I stand on the side of the M50 motorway in rural England. The green pleasant hills are white with frost. I cannot feel my toes, my ears are burning with cold and my whole body unconsciously shakes. Another bitter chill sweeps through my body as the heavy traffic streams past dragging the icy air through my chilled body. My work shirt, tie and tweed blazer do little to protect my body from the arctic temperatures.<br /> <br /> A phone call from the RAC, a brief moment of hope, however, the recovery company does little to warm my soul as they announce that they will be with me by 10.30am. sh*t, two more hours in theses freezing conditions. What has my life become!<br /> <br /> I walk away from my 12 year old BMW that has 190,00 miles on the clock, looking for a safe place to wait, hoping to find any slight cover from the wind chill.<br /> <br /> This is the first real moment that it smacks me in the face.<br /> <br /> My mind starts to race, looking for answers;<br /> I think I have done everything right; I did well at school, got skilled in a trade, qualified as an Engineer, did a degree, got a masters degree, became a teacher, climbed the ladder - team leader, head of department and now to curriculum leader. I get paid over £40,000 per year- the most I have ever earnt, I do loads of extra hours, often topping 60 hours per week, and feel like I am making a difference in a job that I mostly enjoy. In fact, I earn more than most people I know but usually appear to have less.<br /> <br /> I got married, bought a house - with a mortgage, had children, had a holiday once a year and occasionally buy myself a gadget or toy that the manipulated advertising ploys make me think that I cannot live my life without!<br /> <br /> To this point, I have done everything the way I was told to.<br /> <br /> So why am I miserable, broke, driving an old banger that has finally had enough and now freezing by testicals off on the side of the motorway? Why am i in this position? Did I miss something?<br /> <br /> f*ck, I must have missed something... whack, slap number two...<br /> <br /> My mind turns to the recovery truck. Oh no, the policy is in my wife&#039;s name, we didn&#039;t add me as it wasn&#039;t an essential cost, will they charge me? Do I have enough money in the bank to pay them? I check my phone app, crap £37.87 in credit. sh*t, payday is another 9 days away; I will be stuck here forever and turn into a block of ice, glistening in the sun that is starting to break through.<br /> <br /> Whack - sucker punch number 3.<br /> <br /> It hits me.<br /> And I am forced to admit it for the first time.<br /> <br /> I am poor.<br /> <br /> But how has this happened?<br /> Is it my fault? or have I been mis-sold a dream?<br /> <br /> Whatever has happened, it is not going to continue.... </div> <div class="bbCodeBlock-expandLink js-expandLink"><a role="button" tabindex="0">Click to expand...</a></div> </div> </blockquote><br /> Great to see another addition to the UK-crew <img src="/community/imgs/emoticons/em-smile2.png" class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":-)" title="Smile :-)" data-shortname=":-)" /><br /> <br /> If you put the same amount of energy into your hustle as you have hustling for others, you&#039;ll be alright. Plus you&#039;ve definitely built up some skills to pay the bills, just work on growing that money tree.<br /> <br /> PS - I&#039;m guessing the Beamers electrics went? You did well getting that many miles out of it!<br /> <br /> Stay warm, and keep us posted.</div>

 

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[SK1]

<div class="bbWrapper"><blockquote data-attributes="member: 31972" data-quote="Roli" data-source="post: 756000" class="bbCodeBlock bbCodeBlock--expandable bbCodeBlock--quote js-expandWatch"> <div class="bbCodeBlock-title"> <a href="/community/goto/post?id=756000" class="bbCodeBlock-sourceJump" rel="nofollow" data-xf-click="attribution" data-content-selector="#post-756000">Roli said:</a> </div> <div class="bbCodeBlock-content"> <div class="bbCodeBlock-expandContent js-expandContent "> Great to see another addition to the UK-crew <img src="/community/imgs/emoticons/em-smile2.png" class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":)" title="Smile :)" data-shortname=":)" /><br /> <br /> If you put the same amount of energy into your hustle as you have hustling for others, you&#039;ll be alright. Plus you&#039;ve definitely built up some skills to pay the bills, just work on growing that money tree.<br /> <br /> PS - I&#039;m guessing the Beamers electrics went? You did well getting that many miles out of it!<br /> <br /> Stay warm, and keep us posted. </div> <div class="bbCodeBlock-expandLink js-expandLink"><a role="button" tabindex="0">Click to expand...</a></div> </div> </blockquote><br /> <br /> Hi Roli.<br /> <br /> Thanks for the reply!<br /> <br /> Quote to my wife yesterday &quot;If I worked as hard and long building my own business as I do working in my job at the moment, we wouldn&#039;t need to worry about money again!&quot;. Unfortunately she is very short sighted and think we are well off and wants to work like dogs for the next 30 years until we die! ha! Not me.<br /> <br /> The BMW&#039;s clutch gave up, breaking its housing and flywheel and ripping the center shaft from the gearbox. Circa £1500 repair. So I sold it to the garage for £300 so they could strip it for parts. Currently car-less.<br /> <br /> The money tree will grow - I just need to make some big decisions to help it grow quicker and stronger! <br /> <br /> <img src="/community/imgs/emoticons/em-smile2.png" class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":)" title="Smile :)" data-shortname=":)" /></div>

 

[LielS]

<div class="bbWrapper">This is the best thing I read this week</div>

 

[SK1]

<div class="bbWrapper">Going to turn it into a comedy sketch....lol</div>

 

[lejus]

<div class="bbWrapper">Keep going mate. <br /> <br /> I remember my &quot;wtf&quot; moment when I had to move city because I couldn&#039;t rent flat in the one I was currently in. I started with basic like spend always less than you earn and reinvest. This is still a slow lane but it&#039;s better than being hit by landlord notice to move and not being able to (or being hit by car failure and not being able to deal with it). It&#039;s good that you starting on replacing your income by completely new project, keep in mind it might take you some time, while budgeting and cutting down on expenses that is something that you can always do straight away and if suddenly your project will need some advertising budget or another person help it&#039;s good to have small amounts of money to use for that. <br /> <br /> Good luck and greetings from UK</div>

 

[SK1]

<div class="bbWrapper"><blockquote data-attributes="member: 48631" data-quote="lejus" data-source="post: 756034" class="bbCodeBlock bbCodeBlock--expandable bbCodeBlock--quote js-expandWatch"> <div class="bbCodeBlock-title"> <a href="/community/goto/post?id=756034" class="bbCodeBlock-sourceJump" rel="nofollow" data-xf-click="attribution" data-content-selector="#post-756034">lejus said:</a> </div> <div class="bbCodeBlock-content"> <div class="bbCodeBlock-expandContent js-expandContent "> Keep going mate.<br /> <br /> I remember my &quot;wtf&quot; moment when I had to move city because I couldn&#039;t rent flat in the one I was currently in. I started with basic like spend always less than you earn and reinvest. This is still a slow lane but it&#039;s better than being hit by landlord notice to move and not being able to (or being hit by car failure and not being able to deal with it). It&#039;s good that you starting on replacing your income by completely new project, keep in mind it might take you some time, while budgeting and cutting down on expenses that is something that you can always do straight away and if suddenly your project will need some advertising budget or another person help it&#039;s good to have small amounts of money to use for that.<br /> <br /> Good luck and greetings from UK </div> <div class="bbCodeBlock-expandLink js-expandLink"><a role="button" tabindex="0">Click to expand...</a></div> </div> </blockquote><br /> <br /> Hi lejus.<br /> Good advice - thanks.<br /> I remember being in such a desperate state 10 years ago having £8.27 to my name and having to feed myself, an 18 month old and a 3 year old for 8 days before I could get anymore money. Walking around the supermarket with a claculator and paying in low value coins.<br /> That moment has stayed with me and driven me to do more and more &quot;work&quot; and earning more and more.<br /> I now have another moment to fuel the drive for the next 5 years.<br /> <br /> I hope your situation is better now! Or you have a great plan to succeed soon. <br /> <br /> It&#039;s all about putting the energy into the right places at the right time.<br /> <br /> Good luck!</div>

 

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[lejus]

<div class="bbWrapper"><blockquote data-attributes="member: 64451" data-quote="SK1" data-source="post: 756041" class="bbCodeBlock bbCodeBlock--expandable bbCodeBlock--quote js-expandWatch"> <div class="bbCodeBlock-title"> <a href="/community/goto/post?id=756041" class="bbCodeBlock-sourceJump" rel="nofollow" data-xf-click="attribution" data-content-selector="#post-756041">SK1 said:</a> </div> <div class="bbCodeBlock-content"> <div class="bbCodeBlock-expandContent js-expandContent "> Hi lejus.<br /> Good advice - thanks.<br /> I remember being in such a desperate state 10 years ago having £8.27 to my name and having to feed myself, an 18 month old and a 3 year old for 8 days before I could get anymore money. Walking around the supermarket with a claculator and paying in low value coins.<br /> That moment has stayed with me and driven me to do more and more &quot;work&quot; and earning more and more.<br /> I now have another moment to fuel the drive for the next 5 years.<br /> <br /> I hope your situation is better now! Or you have a great plan to succeed soon.<br /> <br /> It&#039;s all about putting the energy into the right places at the right time.<br /> <br /> Good luck! </div> <div class="bbCodeBlock-expandLink js-expandLink"><a role="button" tabindex="0">Click to expand...</a></div> </div> </blockquote><br /> Totally man, that moment was many years ago for me. My struggles moved from how to have any money on my bank account to how to get more money to invest more and which investments/projects I can grow more and which should I abandon. Hopefully, next wtf moment for me will be: why am I in place that has 10 months of summer and not in the place that have 11 months <img src="/community/imgs/emoticons/em-wink.png" class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=";)" title="Wink ;)" data-shortname=";)" /> Still a long way. <br /> <br /> When you mention it I think realization comes in waves, the first one I had similar to yours was 11 years ago, but then I started just working harder and making more, which is a kind of solution but if it wasn&#039;t a real solution since I had moving flat and lost job at the same time moment a few years later and just that I made more money last few years didn&#039;t mean I had more money. So I had a good moment I just used it for the wrong solution. I think that unless I can figure out the way for my money to work for me I will have to always, in one way or another, trade my life for money. And yes, trading it in my own business as I do now is way better than wage slavery but it is still trading. Good luck on your journey, and I think your posts actually helped me with mine a lot, I need to use my realization moments with bigger plans and execute more efficiently.</div>

 

[rollerskates]

<div class="bbWrapper">Welcome to the forum! Great story, and brrrr. Hope your app goes well.</div>

 

[B. Cole]

<div class="bbWrapper">Of you’re going to fix it, you might get more poor until you start succeeding. Stick with it and keep this FTE close to your heart so you don’t relapse. Good luck!</div>

 

[Arthur Charles]

<div class="bbWrapper">Well-worded. May this F*ck This Event fuel your determination for a better life!</div>

 

[BigDaddyKane]

<div class="bbWrapper">Thank you for sharing this bro! I believe that these moments come multiple times throughout life and career. I certainly have experienced it multiple times - each time at a different income levels. <br /> <br /> I look back earlier in my process and realize how broke I really was lol. And in the same way, I&#039;m going to look back in 5 years and realize the same thing haha. The MOST important thing is that you continually progress and put your heart into everything you do (I can tell you do.) <br /> <br /> It&#039;s all really so exciting isn&#039;t it? We are living in some incredible times.</div>

 

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[lowtek]

<div class="bbWrapper">Welcome to the forum, must have missed this when you posted a couple months ago.</div>

 

[rjrobbins2]

<div class="bbWrapper">Thank you for sharing, I hope you are on the way to changing things.<br /> <br /> I have bit this point multiple times in my nearly 40 years. I was the child of my family that was the smart one, the only one that went to college, the one that was always reading, the one that excelled in sports, and the one that seemed to know a lot about computers and interesting subjects.<br /> <br /> I was also the one who was the addict and lost everything he owned twice. I got clean and have been for nearly 6 years. But, I lived in an Airbnb just a year ago with no money after my run into freelancing failed and I hung on for just a little too long. I only got to see my kids once a week now after them living with me all their lives because I didnt have a place for them to even hang out.<br /> <br /> I realized that my two stepbrothers who have been in and out of prison and dont even have a GED were making six figures. My sister who barely graduated who making over 70k. My cousin who dropped out of high school and was considered the dumb one had a six-figure business. I did everything right yet I was the one who had lost everything for the third time, this time I did it sober.<br /> <br /> Now, I am here and trying to build everything again. So, year, I can completely relate but we can do it.</div>