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MJ DeMarco! You Destroyed My Life! Please HELP! Am I Losing my MIND?!!

TheCj

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For me it looks like a time management issue.

3-5hrs a day on health and fitness is a lot. For myself i spend a couple hours meal prepping on a weekend for my week while I'm doing other things. One grocery trip a week. Basically optimize everything. My meals are for energy so is pretty repeatable over the course of months, my desserts are for pleasure so i mix these up. Free's up a lot of time, Workouts shouldn't be hours long a day everyday. Rest and recovery is just as important.

Maybe need to de-clutter downsize less to clean.

If make enough can hire a cleaner and meal prep etc.. to free up your time. Other things like commute etc.. all can be optimized.

House hacking can be as simple as putting locks on bedroom doors. A decent size bedroom will be as big as a van conversion.
 

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Brewmacker

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I’m really helping you flesh out your ideas by forcing you to write stuff. It’s what I wish somebody had done for me six months ago when I was flipping out, had burn out, was going kinda crazy.

I understand freaking out. I want you to have peace about what you choose to do. I want you to feel like you’re making the right decision for you.
Wow really? You are amazing! Thanks for doing that.
Your questions did help to put solidify the ideas swimming around in my head. I even stayed up one hour later to answer your questions so I am a little more zombie like than normal this morning :)
I look forward to reading your posts later as I expect there are nuggets of wisdom scattered through this form.
Thanks again
 

Primeperiwinkle

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Wow really? You are amazing! Thanks for doing that.
Your questions did help to put solidify the ideas swimming around in my head. I even stayed up one hour later to answer your questions so I am a little more zombie like than normal this morning :)
I look forward to reading your posts later as I expect there are nuggets of wisdom scattered through this form.
Thanks again
Uhh.. you’re welcome but I’m super green. If you want gold read the Gold Threads or join the Insiders.

I just try to pick a newbie to give encouragement to every week so the old crew doesn’t get disgruntled. Lol.
 
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Brewmacker

Brewmacker

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@Brewmacker If one is disconnected from themselves, nature, and life itself, then they will be miserable no matter how good things may seem on paper.

Do you know who you are and why you exists on this planet? If not, that, seeking that answer may help more than anything else.

In all your words I do not see you speak about how you want to help and serve others. It does not mean neglecting yourself, but this flows naturally when you are connected to yourself first and then others second. If you are not connected to yourself however, then I do not believe it is possible to be connected to others either.

Hello Again :)

You are absolutely right. I still am actively seeking answers for my existence here on this beautiful planet of ours.
These past six month have been a real learning experience. A learned a lot about myself & for the first time looking into the mouth of the beast with no rose tinted glasses on (i.e. without a bottle of beer in my hand).
It is hard & yes sometimes this affects my happiness (generally I am very happy). I admit that this is a process and with the end goal to figure out how best to contribute to the world.
I accept this for the process it is and that it will never stop for the rest of my life. But at a certain point I should pull the trigger.
When I read the positive feedback from you & everyone, I realise that maybe I should indeed check myself even though I think I am ready :)

I specifically left my project out of the description and it was mentioned in one of the earlier responses when someone asked about fast tracking my brewery craft.
You hit the nail on the head, about helping yourself first. When I was searching for an idea in the beginning I was very commodity focused (being a mechanical engineer). Over time my vision of business & the future became a lot more focused on people's life problems, community problems and encouraging social improvements. This is the now the core of my business idea.

Thanks again for sharing your wisdom. It helps!
 

guy93777

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I really really need help & advice. I do not have anyone to talk too about this.

The people in my life will think I am going crazy and because I'm doubting my own sanity right now, they will probably convince/steer me to stay on my current path.

I have seen how you people on this forum, time & time again, offer idiots like me quality & impartial advice with level of patience & understanding that is beyond me.
It is really a beautiful environment here & I hope that you can offer me the affirmation/criticism I need to start sleeping peacefully again.

MJ, you have destroyed my life. This is an astonishing gift that you given & I will always be thankful to you for shattering this old reality.
Needless to say this re-birth will have drastic consequences and I am really not sure what the F*ck I am about to do.


Quick Intro
I'm male, 35 yo, Mechanical Engineer & single (thankfully)
Time & energy are the two biggest obstacles now holding me back.
I have a business idea & I am dying to get started.
For the past two months I have been:
  • Working 9-10 hours a day in my stressful Engineering Job (design management role),
  • 2-3 hours dedicated to fitness & health,
  • 1-2 hours healthy cooking + cleaning
  • 2-3 hours left for business development
  • Chill out hours = 0
During these 3 available hours I've been identifying & developing the tools necessary to execute a business. Of course I use as many hours in the weekend as I can.
These include learning to; program apps; releasing product in a foreign country; market research; marketing; etc. etc.
(don't worry, these aforementioned skill are not intended for critique here)

I am starting to burn out already. You guys who do this, have done this, or tried doing this with a family on top of it all? I salute you!

Plain and simple, this is not working for me. I cannot sleep because all the stress & this is further driving me mad.

I see two solutions:
1) Accept my scripted life, enjoy working a 40 hour week, live for the pension, marry the next one, have children & die and perish wealthy? F*ck THAT!!!
2) Take radical action to set off on a completely unscripted path? OH F*ck!!!!

Solution 1: MJ de Marco destroyed that life (thanks buddy!). I would rather die alone & poor than live a mediocre life without giving my best to the world.


Solution 2: The Reason I Need a FASTLANER Shrink (Therapist)!

So, I have a plan & yes it is F*cking Crazy, even for me.
I am just soooo F*cking 'Done' with this life now.
F*ck my amazing job & ridiculous working hours,
F*ck my two houses & mortgages,
F*ck my pathetic little life in little shitty whoTheFuckCaresVille.
F*ck F*ck F*ck it all!
I'm done, I'm Out, I Fold!!


From Hereon This is Where I Really Need Your Advice/Experience -

My Crazy Plan (before end of year 2019 until 2025 retirement):
  1. Cash in my UK pension (ca €20k) - it is sitting there in a pot doing nothing & helping no body.
  2. Sell my Brewery :(
  3. Buy/Build/Modify a VW Camper Van (or equivalent).
  4. Find a flexible job:
    1. to work when & where ever I want in Europe
    2. to generate cash - from my camper office
    3. generate the minimum required income to live comfortably in a camper van (plenty of YouTube expenses videos out there)
    4. preferably inline with what I will do in my day (e.g. fitness) or what need for the future (during execution).
    5. to allow maximum free time to focus on my core work (minimum 8 hours per day)
  5. Get my house rented out to cover the taxes & mortgage (let it pay for itself).
  6. The Apartment is already rented (paying for itself).
  7. Live at friend/camper and begin tying up all loose ends in home country
  8. Quit my Job/Ask for extended; open ended sabbatical
  9. Drive to Portugal or Spain or Italy or Greece or where I can work
  10. Work my butt off wherever I am
  11. Consider telling parents, people what I have done/am doing or not.

A Camper Van is Not Very FAST, but Can we Drive it in the FASTLANE?

A camper has MANY advantages with respect to Freedom & Exploring & Travelling. As a mechanical engineer this camper will be built to my own specification to ensure I can work & live even when off grid.
N.B. These wonderful things are not why we are here today, but it should play into the overall craziness equation.

The main foreseen advantages of a camper from a business point of view is that:
  • I can stay in any big city for any length of time in city-camping without spending much more money than a normal day parked beside a beach.
  • Compared to a cheap apartment in a big city, this is still a massive reduction in expenses during the start up phase.
  • If I want to travel to another city within Europe, I can drive always drive there in less than 24 hours.
  • No hotels, no flights etc.
  • If I want to recruit customers I will always have my office base & house with me in that particular city
  • Can always rent a desk in a city office, preferably with an entrepreneurial theme/atmosphere

Flexible Work:
This is going to be a challenge I think to maximize income whilst minimize hours in a sidewalk job.
I am not sure what type of viable 100% online jobs are available at this moment but a few ideas are:
  • Transcription
  • Translation (Dutch to English)
  • Online tutor
  • Teacher
Ideal Job:
Personal Trainer for the Bellyproof program (see link below REF1).
This will involve training people on a 5 week course from belly to six pack. For this I will most likely need a license & training from the London based founder Jacob.
Hopefully he has a list of contacts in Europe Mainland or receives requests from people who are interested in such a service.
This would involve 2-3 hours work 5 days a week, delivering a niche product with guaranteed results.
Also it meets my need of combining fitness with work which saves me additional hours to work on getting the business out there.
I have not brought this up with him yet because I know he is a busy guy and do not want to knock him off his course until the plan crystallizes a bit better.


Foreseen Challenges:
  • Loneliness could be an issue (thank god for tinder haha) - getting to know myself and facing my own inner demons (we all have them folks)
  • Tax issues (bit of experience working in multiple countries - good learning experience)
  • Getting used to frugality
  • Money (rainy day pot) for:
    • Tenants moving out [deposit+finding someone new],
    • Camper van and/or general unplanned maintenance,
    • Product roll out costs - Design, Advertising, Law Fees, Tax Fees, Registration Fees etc.
    • Tax

Worries, fears:

Absolutely NONE!


AND that is why I am here lovely people! It sounds so crazy & yet it feels so right!

My heart says go for it and my logical brain is scrambling to hang on to its pre-conditioned reality.

Why am I so okay with this idea?? Have I gone completely bonkers? Has MJ broken me?

Please Help Me Folks!

What am I missing here?
What am I risking here?
How does this picture compare to your experience?
Is it possible?
Am I being completely naive or foolish?
Is there a better more efficient way to go fast lane?

Thanks you all so much for your time. I really look forward to reading your advice here.

Regards,

B


REF1:
BellyProof / MovementFirst – Let's Get you Fit


it looks like a copywriting paper with emotions like this :



25812




the problem with society is that we can't appeal to reason anymore

people are too entertained, to programmed.

we have to appeal to emotions , like we are talking to kids " santa claus is coming ! "









.
 
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Brewmacker

Brewmacker

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For me it looks like a time management issue.

3-5hrs a day on health and fitness is a lot. For myself i spend a couple hours meal prepping on a weekend for my week while I'm doing other things. One grocery trip a week. Basically optimize everything. My meals are for energy so is pretty repeatable over the course of months, my desserts are for pleasure so i mix these up. Free's up a lot of time, Workouts shouldn't be hours long a day everyday. Rest and recovery is just as important.

Maybe need to de-clutter downsize less to clean.

If make enough can hire a cleaner and meal prep etc.. to free up your time. Other things like commute etc.. all can be optimized.

House hacking can be as simple as putting locks on bedroom doors. A decent size bedroom will be as big as a van conversion.
Hi CJ,

you have very valid points & it is something I need to examine if I want to dedicate more time to the business.

Workouts are 2-3 hours - this factors in wake-up time (a lot of coffee), mobility exercises, stretches, weights/calisthenics, cardio and shower. This is normally before work. I train 5 out of 7 days a week with two rest days. On a good day it is 2 hours and on a day like this morning when i am off peak performance or motivation, it can be 3.

Cooking/Shopping is somewhere that I could optimize. I will try to experiment here to save time.
We unfortunately do not have a option in our area for healthy cooking delivered to our house where I live, especially the diet I eat which is 90% keto/low carb (business idea? haha). I have a pretty strict diet most of the time and live a pretty sugar free life (sad I know, but when I do get a piece of cake and ice cream it is the best!).

De-cluttering - that is potentially a great idea I am ashamed to say haha and I could not survive without my cleaner.

Commute is optimized to its max., 20 mins door to door. Country life :)

I think house hacking is an option if I resign from my job.

You have given me food for thought CJ. I will try an identify improvement points for time saving in my daily life and improve upon them. Thanks mate!
 
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Brewmacker

Brewmacker

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You're burned out because you're trapped in a stressful engineering job beholden to your liabilities.

Not sure how I destroyed your life. ;)
"You're burned out because you're trapped in a stressful engineering job beholden to your liabilities."

Yep, you hit the nail on the head MJ! What a good little side walker I have been :) :playful: hahaha

You destroyed my old life ;) (again thank you for that) but on the other hand, you are one of the Founding Fathers of this new life moving forward! Papa MJ

Sorry for the Click bait, I am only practicing what I learned on this forum ;)
 
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Brewmacker

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I think developing app inside a van is not going to work , you really need some house or office space to focus and to have good cooling /heating system that make you work comfortably.
I didnt understand why you want to live like homeless, maybe renting your house and keep the basement for you is better solution , or moving to one room apartment.
I think you are really overreacting , maybe you need some time off from your work to travel, but for building a serious high tech business, living on generator beside the beach will not be a good idea.
If this is feedback coming from a guy called AppMan I am going to listen haha.
Thanks for the input mate.
I am starting to get the sense from most of the responses that maybe I am overreacting. That maybe it is a statement of freedom rather than a wise choice for a tech business moving forward.

I think your idea to take time off work to travel is wise. I have already booked 6 weeks off work over Christmas to do this.
I am now also playing with the idea to use this time to test my product on the market by cold approaching and making appointments with businesses.

Are you completely 100% against the gipsy camper as a tech start up method? Or do you think it is worthwhile to test this by renting a camper for six weeks over Christmas & testing the practicality of this method? At least then I will know haha.
 

AppMan

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Are you completely 100% against the gipsy camper as a tech start up method?
I just cant imagine how can you establish your business while traveling and lacking good basic needs like high speed internet and comfortable office.
I tried to build my business by working under the tree, in the cafe, on backyard , on beach , but nothing can be really productive like working on large screen in quite office or room . the rest was waste of time.
Beside that, no one will take your business seriously if they know you have no address put aside an office address.
 

focusedlife

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Why don’t you house hack one house and rent the other out? Then you have no living expenses and positive cashflow.

Then, you can worry about everything else.

Many here say to stay at the job til you have at least a prototype of what you’re selling. Others don’t leave until they can live on the income.

It is very normal to be event focused like most people. You will learn out of sheer frustration(your feeling of burn out) to focus on the most relevant thing at any given time.

Please explain house hack?
 
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I just cant imagine how can you establish your business while traveling and lacking good basic needs like high speed internet and comfortable office.
I tried to build my business by working under the tree, in the cafe, on backyard , on beach , but nothing can be really productive like working on large screen in quite office or room . the rest was waste of time.
Beside that, no one will take your business seriously if they know you have no address put aside an office address.
If there is anything I have learned AppMan is I do not thrive in comfort haha Far to many distractions. But I really hear what you are saying, and what everyone else is saying, and I have taken it on board. If I want to fast lane this idea it needs to be in a smart way.

Doing this from a camper van is a romantic idea and you guys have helped tease out the core values which a camper van signifies to me. That is, the (crazy) plan has an elements of what I need scattered throughout to achieve my goals. It is also lacking some fundamental elements which you have kindly identified above (postal address for example).

What You Folks Helped Teach Me, New Direction
One of the key things I learned is to declutter my life & home and make daily tasks more efficient, I have already taken steps to do that. This has already yielded one extra hour per day and has helped my motivation and energy levels.

The €17000 pension pot is much better spent on fiverrr, legal costs and marketing than on a camper. This lets me focus on the core values and strategy of the company rather than wasting my time learning to code parked at the foot of a hill somewhere in Austria. This also saves time and energy to launch this product to the world.

40 hours of work needs to change. I have been reading “Never Split the Difference” and I need to set up a meeting with my boss and try to let him explain to me why working 28 hours is a great idea, even for the same salary ;) Jokes aside, this has to change. I will introduce risk, as I tear up my contract, loose my EU rights for full time employment and basically can be fired at any time. That will motivate me to be the best though. It is too comfortable these days anyway and now I will have to fight to survive every day whilst freeing up a lot of time and energy. If he says no, then house hacking and a part time job is the next step. Hopefully my boss will realize that less of my time will still be valuable for his team.

The camper and traveling around free, although very much age dependent, is my Lamborghini. A parked camper at the foot of the Alps will be purchased and hung on the wall beside the work place as a constant reminder of why I am doing this.

Thanks again for bringing me back down to planet earth even if this whole thing still feels like a crazy dream even without a camper.
 

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Aragorn

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Hi Brewmacker

I read your story and the following conversation with great interest. It resonated with my own experience a couple of years ago.

In my opinion, and I might be wrong in my assessment, you are changing gears. I observed similar "crises" with my peers, colleagues and friends and not the least myself. Once you hit 35-ish priorities change. Stuff and people that interested you when you were younger all the sudden become boring. Gradually, the former rock-solid building blocks of your life (friends, hobbies, "meaning of life") disintegrate. First, you keep doing things you like less every day. At some point you realize the void, want to quit but don't know how to fill it. Then crisis hits in, sometimes accompanied by its good friend panic. At least this was it for me and a couple of friends. You know what you don't want continue doing. But you have no clue what to do instead.

From what I grasped from your posts you are a smart guy with many talents. Maybe too many talents in very different fields? How easy is it for you to decide when you have the choice and feel equally attracted to the items? Have you done some self-assessment? Not that I am a huge fan of any of these. Still it helps if you are stuck. Check out the free ebook "What is your what?" by Steve Olsher. His questionnaire is pretty detailed and if done properly forces you to think for several days and even weeks before you're done.

I wouldn't kill my personal life right now for the sake of running away without a thought out plan. Even MJ's FDE wasn't just running away from Chicago. He had his Website up and running and his brain full of skills. And he knew that he wanted to rely on his internet business immediately. If I understand you correctly you don't know where you want to go from where you are right now. You have some money to support you for some time, which is great. However, my recommendation would be to get a clearer view of where to invest your time and self. No need to rush, man! You have achieved a lot already.

As for your time problem I am with some of the others. You need to free time. My suggestions:
  1. Get a cleaning service. Cleaning sucks!
  2. I am a busy guy and don't want to spend long hours in the gym. I go for HIT (high intensity training). Brutal if done correctly, but keeps you healthy - and fit in a fraction of time. The rest of your workout is easily doable in your spare time.
  3. Eat as healthy as possible. I am constantly working on my diet. Organic? Low-carb? Gluten-free? You get the picture.
  4. Do you have friends you can talk to where you live? Do you have someone who knows of your ideas and plans? If not go for the FLF! :)
 

Solais

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I don't think you should listen to idiots glorifying #vanlife. Having a roof over your head and running water at all times is not something you should pretend you can do well without.

The problem in the age of social media is you have all sorts of people showing off their unorthodox lifestyles. You ONLY hear the "good" side of everything.

Some of them might work for you, but most won't. If you want to take off in a van, at least have the sense to try it for a week before you burn your bridges lol.

It reminds me of all those idiots peddling "Coding Bootcamps" back in 2015. Everyone I know who took one of those had to spend 6 - 12 months looking for a job before finding one, because web dev is so F*cking saturated yet the coding bootcamps rely on people's ignorance of BASIC F*ckING ECONOMICS (market supply/demand) to sell them an "education."
 

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  • 2-3 hours dedicated to fitness & health,
  • 1-2 hours healthy cooking + cleaning
  • 2-3 hours left for business development
tldr, but how about you get your priorities straight? Do you want to have success in fitness or business?

Since this forum is based on the "millionaire fastlane" and not the "make enough money to survive living in my van fastlane", I would suggest you cut out the fitness hippie lifestyle plans and get to work.
 
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Kevin88660

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Lucky we have 0% mortgages in the netherlands :) No deposit needed
0 percent mortgage?? Then you should have some surplus money from rent after paying off your installment?

What about your weekend? Do you work?

I do not really know you well but reading from the posts here it seems that you have worked hard in your life and you are at a stage with some money at a comfortable level.

I do not think that the problem is not having time for a business. It is more like you are thinking of how to “cash out” from your existing level of success to have an improvement in lifestyle rather than working your a$$ off to the next level. Basically you have shown that with your priorities. There is absolutely nothing wrong with that but I doubt the issue is having no time for business when you can simply to cut short on your exercise and grab a healthy sandwich from a convenience stall for a meal.
 

Blazen56k

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Why don’t you house hack one house and rent the other out? Then you have no living expenses and positive cashflow.

Then, you can worry about everything else.

Many here say to stay at the job til you have at least a prototype of what you’re selling. Others don’t leave until they can live on the income.

It is very normal to be event focused like most people. You will learn out of sheer frustration(your feeling of burn out) to focus on the most relevant thing at any given time.
This is what I did, though I put in my notice 3 months after reading Unscripted (which is why I don’t give that book to just any one, I know the jump out of the moving vehicle emotions and stress that instills )

I could have left sooner in hindsight, but I had a family and mortgage, so it would have been too much stress to me to just ditch the slow lane a few years back.

I feel your stress man, but just chill out, don’t let the emotions of the fear of missing out drive your decision making process.

Is it possible to optimize your current job so that you are visibly producing as much or more than you currently are, but in less time? If so, this will let you spend some time at work vetting and learning, potentially doubling the time you can work on a business idea.

But man, whatever you do, it’s going to be the quality of your choices ideas, and actions that determine your success or failure. Not having a family to worry over, your risk of damaging others is much lower, but don’t panic and jump out of a slow car into a ditch, you’re 35, you can give yourself 6-12 months to get something up and running before you try to swap cars.
 

Andy Bell

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You need to seriously consider getting into the clickbait title writing profession, that title hooked me in here way too easily.
Not sure about this van rv living, why not just bear down for a few years and work then use your earnings to then travel.
 

James Klymus

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I would just cut your expenses and live as simply and cheaply as possible. Youre 35 and single so you can live as if you're 25. Get cheap rent, Sell crap you dont need. Get rid of any distraction (renting out your house sounds like an extra distraction, unless youre making significant profit from it).

It does sound like your panicking/freaking out a bit, and you cant make good decisions if youre emotionally all over the place. Get stability in your life (food,water,shelter,bills covered) then figure out what you want.

I agree with AppMan that living in a van is probably not a good idea. Just get a simple one bedroom and save as much from your job as you can to invest in your self.

You're in a good position, most of the people your age have kids, wives, mortgages, car payment and a ton of things holding them back. You might as well be 20 years old because you dont have anything holding you back, except your mind and emotions.
 
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You need to seriously consider getting into the clickbait title writing profession, that title hooked me in here way too easily.
Not sure about this van rv living, why not just bear down for a few years and work then use your earnings to then travel.
Haha thanks, maybe someday as a hobby. I have been experimenting with copywriting to get used to it before releasing brochures & advertisements following the techniques and recommendations. Glad its starting to work!
 
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Brewmacker

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Hi Brewmacker

I read your story and the following conversation with great interest. It resonated with my own experience a couple of years ago.

In my opinion, and I might be wrong in my assessment, you are changing gears. I observed similar "crises" with my peers, colleagues and friends and not the least myself. Once you hit 35-ish priorities change. Stuff and people that interested you when you were younger all the sudden become boring. Gradually, the former rock-solid building blocks of your life (friends, hobbies, "meaning of life") disintegrate. First, you keep doing things you like less every day. At some point you realize the void, want to quit but don't know how to fill it. Then crisis hits in, sometimes accompanied by its good friend panic. At least this was it for me and a couple of friends. You know what you don't want continue doing. But you have no clue what to do instead.

From what I grasped from your posts you are a smart guy with many talents. Maybe too many talents in very different fields? How easy is it for you to decide when you have the choice and feel equally attracted to the items? Have you done some self-assessment? Not that I am a huge fan of any of these. Still it helps if you are stuck. Check out the free ebook "What is your what?" by Steve Olsher. His questionnaire is pretty detailed and if done properly forces you to think for several days and even weeks before you're done.

I wouldn't kill my personal life right now for the sake of running away without a thought out plan. Even MJ's FDE wasn't just running away from Chicago. He had his Website up and running and his brain full of skills. And he knew that he wanted to rely on his internet business immediately. If I understand you correctly you don't know where you want to go from where you are right now. You have some money to support you for some time, which is great. However, my recommendation would be to get a clearer view of where to invest your time and self. No need to rush, man! You have achieved a lot already.

As for your time problem I am with some of the others. You need to free time. My suggestions:
  1. Get a cleaning service. Cleaning sucks!
  2. I am a busy guy and don't want to spend long hours in the gym. I go for HIT (high intensity training). Brutal if done correctly, but keeps you healthy - and fit in a fraction of time. The rest of your workout is easily doable in your spare time.
  3. Eat as healthy as possible. I am constantly working on my diet. Organic? Low-carb? Gluten-free? You get the picture.
  4. Do you have friends you can talk to where you live? Do you have someone who knows of your ideas and plans? If not go for the FLF! :)
Thanks for the input mate! I will check out the e-book asap and give it a go.
  1. Get a cleaning service. Cleaning sucks! Already done, absolute life saver!
  2. I am a busy guy and don't want to spend long hours in the gym. I go for HIT (high intensity training). Brutal if done correctly, but keeps you healthy - and fit in a fraction of time. The rest of your workout is easily doable in your spare time. I know HIIT and how brutal it is haha. Unfortunately where I live there is no possibility to do this at 6am and training fasted in the morning is optimal. I have everything I need at home to keep in good shape. Yes it takes time, but with educational Ted talks or youtube in the background it makes for a great start to the day. I only allow that much time to account for waking up and showering etc. Workout itself is about 1.5 hours on average.
  3. Eat as healthy as possible. I am constantly working on my diet. Organic? Low-carb? Gluten-free? You get the picture. I eat low carb almost keto 5 weeks on five weeks off, food is organic, gluten free and fast every day between 14-18 hours. Work outs are always in a fasted state (i.e. in the morning)
  4. Do you have friends you can talk to where you live? Do you have someone who knows of your ideas and plans? If not go for the FLF! :) Haha, Thats why I am here talking to you guys. I have friends to talk to but no one has left the sidewalk or has any plans to. When I talk to them they are interested in my well being and can help with stress issues. But they have no clue how to fastlane a business or deal with the stress from basically working your butt off from morning to night. My sister is already working in the business and is enthusiastic to help so she is my best guiding star at the minute.
 
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Brewmacker

Brewmacker

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I don't think you should listen to idiots glorifying #vanlife. Having a roof over your head and running water at all times is not something you should pretend you can do well without.

The problem in the age of social media is you have all sorts of people showing off their unorthodox lifestyles. You ONLY hear the "good" side of everything.

Some of them might work for you, but most won't. If you want to take off in a van, at least have the sense to try it for a week before you burn your bridges lol.

It reminds me of all those idiots peddling "Coding Bootcamps" back in 2015. Everyone I know who took one of those had to spend 6 - 12 months looking for a job before finding one, because web dev is so F*cking saturated yet the coding bootcamps rely on people's ignorance of BASIC F*ckING ECONOMICS (market supply/demand) to sell them an "education."
I have to be honest, apart from YouTube (& now FLF) I am a social media loser. I really don't care what other people are I don't know are doing with their lives. That just does no interest me.
The camper van symbolizes (symbolized) something different to me. Peace to get shit done.

I totally agree with you and the rest of the responses on this post. I need to figure how to do this in real life and get on with it.
 

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Brewmacker

Brewmacker

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This is what I did, though I put in my notice 3 months after reading Unscripted (which is why I don’t give that book to just any one, I know the jump out of the moving vehicle emotions and stress that instills )

I could have left sooner in hindsight, but I had a family and mortgage, so it would have been too much stress to me to just ditch the slow lane a few years back.

I feel your stress man, but just chill out, don’t let the emotions of the fear of missing out drive your decision making process.

Is it possible to optimize your current job so that you are visibly producing as much or more than you currently are, but in less time? If so, this will let you spend some time at work vetting and learning, potentially doubling the time you can work on a business idea.

But man, whatever you do, it’s going to be the quality of your choices ideas, and actions that determine your success or failure. Not having a family to worry over, your risk of damaging others is much lower, but don’t panic and jump out of a slow car into a ditch, you’re 35, you can give yourself 6-12 months to get something up and running before you try to swap cars.
Thanks for the advice mate and your right, that book is dangerous haha.
What you write actually resonates with how i am feeling right now and your advice is spot on.
I think the optimal solution is reducing the hours spent my current job and that will be a difficult discussion with my boss haha. Ideally I would like to keep enough income to cover the costs and begin outsourcing work to freelancers.

FOMO - Probably the biggest stress factor right now :p but there is always plan B, C and D. This weekend I even considered plan C which is easily set up to generate income and time to achieve Plan A.

Following your advice and the advice and thought exercises given by the others here, I am closer to being back on earth. Scary process!

Thanks again for your support!
 
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Brewmacker

Brewmacker

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I would just cut your expenses and live as simply and cheaply as possible. Youre 35 and single so you can live as if you're 25. Get cheap rent, Sell crap you dont need. Get rid of any distraction (renting out your house sounds like an extra distraction, unless youre making significant profit from it).

It does sound like your panicking/freaking out a bit, and you cant make good decisions if youre emotionally all over the place. Get stability in your life (food,water,shelter,bills covered) then figure out what you want.

I agree with AppMan that living in a van is probably not a good idea. Just get a simple one bedroom and save as much from your job as you can to invest in your self.

You're in a good position, most of the people your age have kids, wives, mortgages, car payment and a ton of things holding them back. You might as well be 20 years old because you dont have anything holding you back, except your mind and emotions.
Thanks James.
Agreed, I do value my freedom :) It is a very fortunate position to be in. If there was a family I wouldn't even be here discussing this haha.
Your advice is spot on though and I will factor it into my next step.
 

Solais

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I have to be honest, apart from YouTube (& now FLF) I am a social media loser. I really don't care what other people are I don't know are doing with their lives. That just does no interest me.
The camper van symbolizes (symbolized) something different to me. Peace to get shit done.

I totally agree with you and the rest of the responses on this post. I need to figure how to do this in real life and get on with it.
Then consider going to the library first and finding somewhere quiet to get stuff done. Living in a van is a drastic downgrade of lifestyle.

There are plenty of ways to avoid losing focus without making such a huge jump.
 

daivey

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what is with all these threads about camper vans? Fad of Q2 2019?
 

Aix-Geneve

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Take time off. Travel. I took off overseas 4 years ago and reinvented something else. Air bnb the properties. Cant run any business in a van.
 

ClickDale

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Jun 24, 2016
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I really really need help & advice. I do not have anyone to talk too about this.

The people in my life will think I am going crazy and because I'm doubting my own sanity right now, they will probably convince/steer me to stay on my current path.

I have seen how you people on this forum, time & time again, offer idiots like me quality & impartial advice with level of patience & understanding that is beyond me.
It is really a beautiful environment here & I hope that you can offer me the affirmation/criticism I need to start sleeping peacefully again.

MJ, you have destroyed my life. This is an astonishing gift that you given & I will always be thankful to you for shattering this old reality.
Needless to say this re-birth will have drastic consequences and I am really not sure what the F*ck I am about to do.


Quick Intro
I'm male, 35 yo, Mechanical Engineer & single (thankfully)
Time & energy are the two biggest obstacles now holding me back.
I have a business idea & I am dying to get started.
For the past two months I have been:
  • Working 9-10 hours a day in my stressful Engineering Job (design management role),
  • 2-3 hours dedicated to fitness & health,
  • 1-2 hours healthy cooking + cleaning
  • 2-3 hours left for business development
  • Chill out hours = 0
During these 3 available hours I've been identifying & developing the tools necessary to execute a business. Of course I use as many hours in the weekend as I can.
These include learning to; program apps; releasing product in a foreign country; market research; marketing; etc. etc.
(don't worry, these aforementioned skill are not intended for critique here)

I am starting to burn out already. You guys who do this, have done this, or tried doing this with a family on top of it all? I salute you!

Plain and simple, this is not working for me. I cannot sleep because all the stress & this is further driving me mad.

I see two solutions:
1) Accept my scripted life, enjoy working a 40 hour week, live for the pension, marry the next one, have children & die and perish wealthy? F*ck THAT!!!
2) Take radical action to set off on a completely unscripted path? OH F*ck!!!!

Solution 1: MJ de Marco destroyed that life (thanks buddy!). I would rather die alone & poor than live a mediocre life without giving my best to the world.


Solution 2: The Reason I Need a FASTLANER Shrink (Therapist)!

So, I have a plan & yes it is F*cking Crazy, even for me.
I am just soooo F*cking 'Done' with this life now.
F*ck my amazing job & ridiculous working hours,
F*ck my two houses & mortgages,
F*ck my pathetic little life in little shitty whoTheFuckCaresVille.
F*ck F*ck F*ck it all!
I'm done, I'm Out, I Fold!!


From Hereon This is Where I Really Need Your Advice/Experience -

My Crazy Plan (before end of year 2019 until 2025 retirement):
  1. Cash in my UK pension (ca €20k) - it is sitting there in a pot doing nothing & helping no body.
  2. Sell my Brewery :(
  3. Buy/Build/Modify a VW Camper Van (or equivalent).
  4. Find a flexible job:
    1. to work when & where ever I want in Europe
    2. to generate cash - from my camper office
    3. generate the minimum required income to live comfortably in a camper van (plenty of YouTube expenses videos out there)
    4. preferably inline with what I will do in my day (e.g. fitness) or what need for the future (during execution).
    5. to allow maximum free time to focus on my core work (minimum 8 hours per day)
  5. Get my house rented out to cover the taxes & mortgage (let it pay for itself).
  6. The Apartment is already rented (paying for itself).
  7. Live at friend/camper and begin tying up all loose ends in home country
  8. Quit my Job/Ask for extended; open ended sabbatical
  9. Drive to Portugal or Spain or Italy or Greece or where I can work
  10. Work my butt off wherever I am
  11. Consider telling parents, people what I have done/am doing or not.

A Camper Van is Not Very FAST, but Can we Drive it in the FASTLANE?

A camper has MANY advantages with respect to Freedom & Exploring & Travelling. As a mechanical engineer this camper will be built to my own specification to ensure I can work & live even when off grid.
N.B. These wonderful things are not why we are here today, but it should play into the overall craziness equation.

The main foreseen advantages of a camper from a business point of view is that:
  • I can stay in any big city for any length of time in city-camping without spending much more money than a normal day parked beside a beach.
  • Compared to a cheap apartment in a big city, this is still a massive reduction in expenses during the start up phase.
  • If I want to travel to another city within Europe, I can drive always drive there in less than 24 hours.
  • No hotels, no flights etc.
  • If I want to recruit customers I will always have my office base & house with me in that particular city
  • Can always rent a desk in a city office, preferably with an entrepreneurial theme/atmosphere

Flexible Work:
This is going to be a challenge I think to maximize income whilst minimize hours in a sidewalk job.
I am not sure what type of viable 100% online jobs are available at this moment but a few ideas are:
  • Transcription
  • Translation (Dutch to English)
  • Online tutor
  • Teacher
Ideal Job:
Personal Trainer for the Bellyproof program (see link below REF1).
This will involve training people on a 5 week course from belly to six pack. For this I will most likely need a license & training from the London based founder Jacob.
Hopefully he has a list of contacts in Europe Mainland or receives requests from people who are interested in such a service.
This would involve 2-3 hours work 5 days a week, delivering a niche product with guaranteed results.
Also it meets my need of combining fitness with work which saves me additional hours to work on getting the business out there.
I have not brought this up with him yet because I know he is a busy guy and do not want to knock him off his course until the plan crystallizes a bit better.


Foreseen Challenges:
  • Loneliness could be an issue (thank god for tinder haha) - getting to know myself and facing my own inner demons (we all have them folks)
  • Tax issues (bit of experience working in multiple countries - good learning experience)
  • Getting used to frugality
  • Money (rainy day pot) for:
    • Tenants moving out [deposit+finding someone new],
    • Camper van and/or general unplanned maintenance,
    • Product roll out costs - Design, Advertising, Law Fees, Tax Fees, Registration Fees etc.
    • Tax

Worries, fears:

Absolutely NONE!


AND that is why I am here lovely people! It sounds so crazy & yet it feels so right!

My heart says go for it and my logical brain is scrambling to hang on to its pre-conditioned reality.

Why am I so okay with this idea?? Have I gone completely bonkers? Has MJ broken me?

Please Help Me Folks!

What am I missing here?
What am I risking here?
How does this picture compare to your experience?
Is it possible?
Am I being completely naive or foolish?
Is there a better more efficient way to go fast lane?

Thanks you all so much for your time. I really look forward to reading your advice here.

Regards,

B


REF1:
BellyProof / MovementFirst – Let's Get you Fit
Ever heard the term, “pay yourself first”?

Of course you have.

Your problem is you’re spending all of your energy first, and not investing it in your business because there’s nothing left at the end of the day.

The solution is simple...

Go to bed at 9pm. Wake up at 5am.

Spend 1.5 hours working on the thing you dread most...building your new business.

Then shower and get ready...

And spend another 1.5 hours building your business. Then go to work.

Outsource everything.

For example...you can hire someone to cook for you to free up time. Spend a few dollars to buy time.

Do this for a month or two and you’ll have a business in no time.

I’ve done this. One of my mentors taught me this. It works! Best of luck!
 
OP
OP
Brewmacker

Brewmacker

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Jun 17, 2019
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Ever heard the term, “pay yourself first”?

Of course you have.

Your problem is you’re spending all of your energy first, and not investing it in your business because there’s nothing left at the end of the day.

The solution is simple...

Go to bed at 9pm. Wake up at 5am.

Spend 1.5 hours working on the thing you dread most...building your new business.

Then shower and get ready...

And spend another 1.5 hours building your business. Then go to work.

Outsource everything.

For example...you can hire someone to cook for you to free up time. Spend a few dollars to buy time.

Do this for a month or two and you’ll have a business in no time.

I’ve done this. One of my mentors taught me this. It works! Best of luck!
Hi Clickdale,

Thanks for the advice mate. Things are moving much smoother now & life is finding a balance.

I think I really was losing my mind at the time, and this came from the massive task that sits in front of me and a million things that are needed to be learned and a thousand directions to go in of which 90% are most likely the wrong way.

I definitely broke out my comfort zone, but overshot and landed in the panic zone. I have now calibrated myself somewhat.

Never the less, based on the advice of others which is in line with your advice I looked at life hacking.

Fitness:
Yes I work out maybe too much & too long, but instead of listening to music now, Youtube is on in the background whilst I work out. This therefore combines learning (admittedly less effectively, but still very useful) whilst breaking this gigantic task into little pieces. I was also on a 5 week shredding regime and for the next 6 weeks it is only bulking and this frees up a lot of time.

Out-sourcing:
You are absolutely right, outsourcing is definitely my end goal.

At the same, I have no experience with web based business'. Therefore I accept a slower release date whilst working on becoming a full-stack developer. I have absolutely no intention of being a good one, but understanding the principles before beginning to hire in help. This is what I do 40 hours a week in the 9-5 job and it is near impossible to release a product effectively if you cant explain exactly what you want and can steer the team.

Through this learning process I will make the MVP myself (both web & app based) & test the product on the market. I could skip this process & hire people to do it. The one key advantage of learning the process is, if the product does not give people the value I really hope they want, I can go directly into the next value-giving idea, build a MVP again & test that. This can be achieved with minimal investment and risk.

I do not have much free cash to invest here, therefore there is a need to learn the language of the engineers and developers that in the end I will hire, so that mis-communication and the number of iterations getting to a final product are minimized.

I have asked my full-stack developer best friend to become a co-founder so he can manage this side of the business but for him it is a big ask (happy side-walker) and I have given him until the end of the year to make a decision on the condition he reads unscripted.
This evening I have an interview with a good friend who is also on the same path as me. He specializes in web-based marketing. I told him last Wednesday to read Unscripted before we talk and over the weekend in two days he has completed this task. So we will see. I have no intention of handing out co-founder-ships like candy.


Out-sourcing menial tasks (cooking, cleaning etc.)

Cleaner has already been hired. I am in the process applying the 80-20 rule to our working relationship. I.e. I will do 20% of the work that achieves 80% of the results, whilst she focuses on the time consuming tasks.

Cooking - it is a passion of mine, but also during this time I am learning my courses and watching Ted-talks & YouTube. Also, with advice to one of our friends above, beginning to prepare food in big batches so all that is needed is to reheat is a massive time saver.
Now that my 5 week shredding course is over I can relax the low carb diet & cook a lot faster and easier.


Lastly, dating life
Spoke to the girl I am dating & explained to her that just hanging out & watching TV or playing video games is not really my thing. I told her I would prefer to mix it up with productive working dates where she develops her thing and I develop mine.
She nearly bit my hand off at the offer and she explained sitting doing nothing was also driving her crazy.
Conclusion: need to buy a bigger kitchen table :)


Thanks again for your advice @ClickDale , and as always to everyone else. I am definitely getting a handle on boosting productivity now (i.e. the real active work on the project) from 6 hours per week up to nearly 20+ hours per week and this is even on top of fitness, cooking, dating and working 40 hours.

I have learned a lot here & I will reiterate this valuable information when the product is launched. I know people can learn from everyone's advice here.
 

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