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Fastlane Parenting (Tips, Tactics...)

Andy Black

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G-Man

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Not making the decision for you... just making it more difficult. :)

You could have maybe not put these thoughts into my mind on a day when I have an 8pm conference call. :frown:
 

amp0193

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You could have maybe not put these thoughts into my mind on a day when I have an 8pm conference call. :frown:

Sounds like the perfect opportunity to *drop the mic* in front of everyone and walk away... forever.



haha, just kidding.


Hang in there man, weigh the pros/cons and do what you're comfortable with.


Priority #1 is providing for your family in the here and now.
 
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G-Man

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Sounds like the perfect opportunity to *drop the mic* in front of everyone and walk away... forever.

Believe me, this has been considered. I'm sticking with it because I think probability of future success times discounted value of future payoff is more than I would make in 10 years of 9-5.

Granted, there's the difficult to quanitfy 3rd path of not doing this, and also not going back to 9-5.

I'm such a loser I made it into an excel sheet.
 

amp0193

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Granted, there's the difficult to quanitfy 3rd path of not doing this, and also not going back to 9-5.

You mean the 3rd-1000000000th path.

There's lots of ways to skin a cat, as they say.

A few of those paths are likely better than options 1 and 2. You just gotta figure out what they are.

I'm such a loser I made it into an excel sheet.

From @MJ DeMarco : HelpMyDecision.com - Get Help Making Tough Decisions
 
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amp0193

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I'm sticking with it because I think probability of future success times discounted value of future payoff is more than I would make in 10 years of 9-5.

Do you have equity in this company?
 

G-Man

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Do you have equity in this company?

Options.

EDIT: To clarify, I have options, and will get bonused out if certain milestones are met.

EDIT 2: I also had arranged to use a significant portion of my own capital to buy equity in the company at a fire-sale rate about a month ago only to have it killed by the lawyers.

I really think the company is going to be a success, and I wouldn't be here if I didn't believe that. My nagging problem is that I'm violating the commandment of control.
 

JAJT

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I had options once! I sold them for $800 a year before they were worth $40k.

That was a fun experience.
 
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G-Man

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amp0193

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This is a valid point, but also gives me analysis paralysis. :frown:

Use your experience. Make your own product and wholesale it to stores.

That should narrow it down to only the 3rd-10000th paths.
 

Yoda

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We [the wife and I] have both succeeded in parenting, and failed, so far.

Like a Fastlane business, there's no better learning than doing. That said, a few things come to mind which we're pretty well fixed in:
  1. Independence. You think you can clear the creek in one jump? I'll sit here and watch. Win or fail, it's up to you. This is what I want most, for them to learn they CAN, but they might also FAIL. (We actually tell our children the word "can't" is not a word. *shrug*)
  2. Try at least once. Sports. Food. Anything. If you aren't willing to try, we will help no further, we don't care what you miss.
  3. No participation rewards. Your team tried hard and still got last? Let me just accidentally forget about your "trophy" ceremony and ice cream social. I think we can all agree on this one.
  4. Choose your friends. We don't make our kids hug little punks they don't want to. I ASK them if they want to go to a birthday party or not. We let them let go of kids they don't care to play with, and I tell the parent we aren't interested in "play dates" flat out. But we also enforce, when you do choose a friend, you do whatever it is you need to do to be the best friend you can be. Period.
  5. Respect. You be respectful of someone's stuff. You be respectful of someone's time. You use your manners. But you also demand respect from others.
Shits hard, man. I suck at it.

It's admitting you're clueless and trying to better yourself for your little hoard where you become a true parent, and not a lazy piece of trash breeding our future jail birds.
 
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G-Man

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Choose your friends. We don't make our kids hug little punks they don't want to. I ASK them if they want to go to a birthday party or not. We let them let go of kids they don't care to play with, and I tell the parent we aren't interested in "play dates" flat out. But we also enforce, when you do choose a friend, you do whatever it is you need to do to be the best friend you can be. Period.

Something I hadn't thought of but makes total sense. The older I get the more it makes sense to proactively choose your friends. May as well get him started young. Rep+
 

amp0193

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It's admitting you're clueless and trying to better yourself for your little hoard where you become a true parent, and not a lazy piece of trash breeding our future jail birds.

Along those same lines:

How many business books have you all read?

Now how many parenting books have you all read?


Based on your answers to those statements, what seems to be the thing you desire to be more successful at in your life?


(I answered countless and 2 respectively... o_O).

Time to read some of those books on the shelf. Admittedly... it was pretty easy until she turned 2. Just give them food/water/diaper/playtime and you can't lose.

Now there's discipline and shit to worry about!
 

Yoda

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G-Man

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Now how many parenting books have you all read?

First thought that came through my head reading this was my Grandpa talking about how parenting books are the reason we're all p****** who'll be conquered by a Russia/N Korea/Taliban alliance. LOL'ed a bit. :rofl:
 

amp0193

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The rest is on the fly. Parenting isn't like anything else in the world.

You just gotta do it.

Or they die, or something.

Yes, a lot of it's on the fly.

You react to the fly, based on your instincts. Your instincts are formed from a combination of how your parents raised you, how you have observed kids being raised in your world, your own thoughts on how those types of situations should be handled, and what you're learned and read on the subject.

There is a definite difference in the effectiveness of how I handle discipline situations before I read a book on the subject, and after. That's because I had no concept of what effective discipline should look like, before I read a book, so my instincts were pretty lousy.

I don't really believe that there isn't a book on some subject of parenting that wouldn't improve some aspect of our parenting. Same with any other subject.

Kids aren't cookie cutters, sure, and not every strategy works with every kid, but surely there's something worth learning in a book.
 

Ecom man

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The way I look at it is this, I shouldn't try and put them into an entrepreneur box anymore than someone else should put them in a slow lane box. I want my kids to be the best that they can be at whatever they decide. They are exposed to business almost every day. If when they are teens they want to learn how to operate a business then awesome! If they want to go and get a job doing something they love then awesome as well! IMO as kids get older and start to see the difference between the time we have together and most "normal" people have together I would guess they won't want the 9-5.
 
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Mattie

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In my situation with my son, I believe I always stimulated his mind right from infancy with red, white, black toys, music, and other growth and developmental toys through the stages that are age appropriate from puzzles, literature, art supplies, and sports. Some parents never even pay attention to the stages of growth and development, and then they get bored, or behind, because their little brains aren't being stimulated at various stages. I'm more the natural mother and less controlling. And never had to really discipline him, because the manipulation, control, authoritarian perspective usually is what causes rebellious teenagers with Introverts anyway. I can't speak for Extroverts, but even in my son's generation I noticed the children who were Introverts, NF's, NT's usually have the most problems if they're parents aren't more flexible, patient, understanding, and compassionate.

I would say pay attention to your personality type and your children's and respect their personal space, emotional, mental, spiritual, and physical boundaries. If you do listen to them, instead of forcing them, they will automatically grow, thrive, and be successful.

For teaching them about entrepreneurship, I believe some of it he already learned at as a young child, because he learned to bake cookies, sell cans of pop, bottles of water, and candy at the garage sales my family would have. Schools usually have their fund raisers, as boy scouts did as well, so he learned he had to talk to people, and do something to sell his product.

For the Fastlane principles he's a perfect example of it doesn't matter whether you're born from a rich family, and not taught all the principles earlier. He learned a lot of this just from me being in Fastlane and sharing resources and information. So, this is what I've always been to my son all along. I'm a natural parent, authoritative. There is a natural process we go through in life with consequences to our actions. He learned organization skills by folders, planners, in school. He knows already what happens when he doesn't do these things and organize his time between work, school, and play time. Just by having a job, he has learned in one year, about personalities, sales, dealing with customers.

I think you have to remember everyone doesn't reach the same place the same exact way in the same fashion. I don't believe you have to worry so much, if you're positive, and already know how to discipline your thoughts, emotions, feelings, then you can teach your children. And I think that's the point. Discipline is teaching. And so you are the teacher, sharing information, resources, and being the example. Self-discipline is the whole key. So forcing a kid, isn't really teaching them discipline. I suppose this is debatable, because in Entrepreneurship and military is quite different, than the home and raising children. I believe this is why a lot of teens get in trouble, because in the home, it's suppose to be a safe, secure, and peaceful place. Usually what they get is a war zone, with escapism, addiction, and authoritarian parenting that infuses guilt, shame, blame, and crushes them emotionally, mentally, spiritually, and physically. Enough of this, it becomes depression, giving up, quitting, and thinking they can never please their parents.

Parents that are Military, Police, Fireman, Doctors, Psychiatrists, Entrepreneurs usually bring in the Authoritarian side of things, because in culture it is survival of the fittest, competition, and in the U.S. this is just the way society is programmed. There's a place for it, but in the child's mind this isn't always the best place for it, when they're growing and developing psychologically, mentally, and spiritually. I'm sure it's debatable like I stated, because of course the Authoritarian's would dispute my claims. I just know from the Authoritative perspective, it's more like a boa constrictor squeezing the life out of children if they happen to be Introverts. When they're 18 or older they may be able to handle and process the authoritarian point of view in a better way and not be so sensitive, emotional, or rebellious. I believe this is the where parents really have to think about where their child's at, what they can handle, what are their weaknesses, strengths, and how can you empower them versus take their personal power away and be dominate over them and completely crush them, where they learn to self-sabotage themselves, and later in life not succeed in Entrepreneurship.
 

amp0193

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#fastlaneparenting

Taking your kid to the trampoline park at 11am on a thursday, having it all to yourself, and paying 1/8 the cost (literally) of what the sidewalkers are paying on Saturday.

IMG_13923.jpg
 

G-Man

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Use your experience. Make your own product and wholesale it to stores.

BTW, I have been working on this in the last couple months. Can't get the co-packer thing figured out. Will get it, though.

Maybe I just need to do something outside of food, too. The only other thing I've ever done is electronics, though, and I hate mother******* electronics.
 
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G-Man

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Too personal and possibly political, and redacted :clench:
 
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amp0193

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As usual, not saying it will work for anyone else, but here are some of things that my wife and I do with our 7 and 6 year olds

Gold post!

I can't wait until my kids are older and I can start doing more of this stuff!
 

G-Man

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When my kids were younger (around 4/5), I asked them to give me $10 out of their piggy banks. We talked about what $10 could buy, and I asked them if they wanted to use the money to buy stuff, or if they wanted to "invest" the money. I explained that if they gave me their $10, that I would give them $20 the following week. They thought that was a good deal. The following week, I told them that they could spend the $20 or that they could invest it again -- that's if they gave me the money, I'd give them $40 the next month. We did that for a while, and after a few months, I told them that they now had $100. I suggested that they take the money, put $25 in the bank, donate $25 to people who needed it more than we did, take $25 and spend it and then take the remaining $25 and reinvest it with me. Every couple months we do the same thing, and after a couple years, they're finally starting to realize that they are getting this free money every couple months (passive income). Again, they truly get the concept yet, and I have to remind them that I have their money (they don't really think about it very often), but when I give them their "dividends," they are very excited.

This is a great idea. Rep +
 
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MidwestLandlord

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My 9 year old got bullied yesterday for being "the rich kid" at school.

So after a tickle fight to cheer her up, we talked about money. We talked about how money can make people emotional and that sometimes people without money will hate people with money. We talked about how the reverse is also true.

We talked about how money is merely a tool, and that learning how to use that tool is really important. She had a life threatening illness early 2016, and had multiple surgeries. I explained how having money allowed us to get her the best doctors in the country, and that if we didn't have money we would of STILL got her the best doc's, but it would of been much harder to afford.

We talked about how money allows me to care for my wife, kids, sick mother, and others. I asked her if there was any good SHE had done with money. She got excited and told me about buying food and such for our local "no kill" animal shelter with the money SHE earned. So then we talked about how money is not "good" nor "bad", but you can use it to do good things for people and animals.

Then I told her how having money is nothing to be ashamed of, how I am very grateful for what we have, but that how much money we have is no one else's business and she doesn't need to talk about it with anyone.

I hope I handled that right haha.
 

G-Man

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We talked about how money can make people emotional and that sometimes people without money will hate people with money. We talked about how the reverse is also true.

That's gotta be pretty tough to explain to a 9 yr old. You're getting into the dark side of human nature that's in all of us, and it's a shame to ruin the innocence. I guess she's going to discover it no matter what, so probably better to have it explained by someone that cares about her and is also not an idiot.

how much money we have is no one else's business and she doesn't need to talk about it with anyone.

Also tough to get a kid to understand. Like I've mentioned before, I think it's probably good to keep it to yourself as much as feasible anyway, in the unlikely event of the people's revolution. :clench:
 

JAJT

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That investing idea with your kids is genius. I'm going to start doing that on some level. Rep+
 
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MidwestLandlord

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That's gotta be pretty tough to explain to a 9 yr old. You're getting into the dark side of human nature that's in all of us, and it's a shame to ruin the innocence. I guess she's going to discover it no matter what, so probably better to have it explained by someone that cares about her and is also not an idiot.

Also tough to get a kid to understand. Like I've mentioned before, I think it's probably good to keep it to yourself as much as feasible anyway, in the unlikely event of the people's revolution. :clench:

I tend to be a "that's just the way the world works" type of dad. So I just told her the truth. I thought maybe the word "hate" was too much, but you know what? It's true.

We don't "flaunt" at all (my newest car is 8 years old), but somehow she talked about money at school. I dunno.
 

G-Man

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I tend to be a "that's just the way the world works" type of dad. So I just told her the truth. I thought maybe the word "hate" was too much, but you know what? It's true.

If you refuse to talk to her about those realities you leave it to a high school "social sciences" teacher with an axe to grind, so better it come from you.

Really not looking forward to my son being old enough to grasp human nature. I got a few years, though. :smile:
 

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