How to Get Rid of Negative Friends

[Almantas]

Hi guys, just a quick suggestion on how to get rid of negative friends. While most people say it takes effort to get rid of negative friends, I respectfully disagree. The most easiest way to get rid of negative friends is to concentrate on your business and self-development and they will get rid of themselves. How so? It's pretty simple actually: negative people look for approval and attention, once you direct your attention towards positive activities they will no longer have interest in you. The situation becomes similar to an actor giving a performance (negative people), while an audience (you) is being absorbed by different activities - it will piss an actor off and the performance will soon end.

This is just my personal observation and suggestion. I would be lying to myself if I said I don't want to convince you to get rid of negative people. I really do hope you get rid of them sooner rather than later. Life is a beauty and there's no space for negative freaks crawling around every corner. Kick them out now, folks - by concentrating on your business and self-development.

 

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[Shades]

There have been two best friends I had since childhood that I just straight out told them I didnt want to talk to them anymore. Sometimes people just grow apart. People get into different things that you dont want to be in. Different outlooks, different goals etc...

Life can have a way of sucking whats good out of someone if they let it. Most people are not where they want to be. But most people don't think they have control over their own life. The hopeless desperation of seeing yourself slogging through the next 30+ years of your life stuck in the same place can really change you for the worst.

 

[safff]

Hi guys, just a quick suggestion on how to get rid of negative friends. While most people say it takes effort to get rid of negative friends, I respectfully disagree. The most easiest way to get rid of negative friends is to concentrate on your business and self-development and they will get rid of themselves. How so? It's pretty simple actually: negative people look for approval and attention, once you direct your attention towards positive activities they will no longer have interest in you. The situation becomes similar to an actor giving a performance (negative people), while an audience (you) is being absorbed by different activities - it will piss an actor off and the performance will soon end.

This is just my personal observation and suggestion. I would be lying to myself if I said I don't want to convince you to get rid of negative people. I really do hope you get rid of them sooner rather than later. Life is a beauty and there's no space for negative freaks crawling around every corner. Kick them out now, folks - by concentrating on your business and self-development.

in some cases, I don't doubt it's a case of just doing you; but relationships (any, friends, family, romantic) can be complex things. Sometimes the problem is actualising the negativity in the first place. My partner has a friend who she missed dearly for several years until they started talking again. Fast forward a year, and the only time my partner is depressed, I dig and at the root is this friend. Every single time.. She still sees her as her best friend though and wants her in her life. She feels she needs her in her life.. She ignores her for a bit and concetrates on work and she works her way back in.

The point of my ramblings is that sometimes it can take effort and strength, but most importantly, it takes clarity - which is where the true effort can come in to play.

 

[McFirewavesJr]

Hi guys, just a quick suggestion on how to get rid of negative friends. While most people say it takes effort to get rid of negative friends, I respectfully disagree. The most easiest way to get rid of negative friends is to concentrate on your business and self-development and they will get rid of themselves. How so? It's pretty simple actually: negative people look for approval and attention, once you direct your attention towards positive activities they will no longer have interest in you. The situation becomes similar to an actor giving a performance (negative people), while an audience (you) is being absorbed by different activities - it will piss an actor off and the performance will soon end.

This is just my personal observation and suggestion. I would be lying to myself if I said I don't want to convince you to get rid of negative people. I really do hope you get rid of them sooner rather than later. Life is a beauty and there's no space for negative freaks crawling around every corner. Kick them out now, folks - by concentrating on your business and self-development.

This is absolutely accurate. Before I got into self development, I never realized how negative people were

in some cases, I don't doubt it's a case of just doing you; but relationships (any, friends, family, romantic) can be complex things. Sometimes the problem is actualising the negativity in the first place. My partner has a friend who she missed dearly for several years until they started talking again. Fast forward a year, and the only time my partner is depressed, I dig and at the root is this friend. Every single time.. She still sees her as her best friend though and wants her in her life. She feels she needs her in her life.. She ignores her for a bit and concetrates on work and she works her way back in.

The point of my ramblings is that sometimes it can take effort and strength, but most importantly, it takes clarity - which is where the true effort can come in to play.

It is true, but I have to agree with OP. Myvawesome (negative) friends got organically pushed aside when I started focusing on my business. Funny enough, other friends (positive), who I didn't spend as much time with before started to gain importance in my life. And anyways, at some point you cannot not realize that these people are leeches sucking on your hard earned positivity, unless you are clueless about self development...

 

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[Kak]

Hi guys, just a quick suggestion on how to get rid of negative friends. While most people say it takes effort to get rid of negative friends, I respectfully disagree. The most easiest way to get rid of negative friends is to concentrate on your business and self-development and they will get rid of themselves. How so? It's pretty simple actually: negative people look for approval and attention, once you direct your attention towards positive activities they will no longer have interest in you. The situation becomes similar to an actor giving a performance (negative people), while an audience (you) is being absorbed by different activities - it will piss an actor off and the performance will soon end.

This is just my personal observation and suggestion. I would be lying to myself if I said I don't want to convince you to get rid of negative people. I really do hope you get rid of them sooner rather than later. Life is a beauty and there's no space for negative freaks crawling around every corner. Kick them out now, folks - by concentrating on your business and self-development.

Once the respect for a person is gone the friendship isn't there anyway. It is just an annoyance.

I don't have all the money in the world... But when people insinuate that I am trying to be better than them just because I own a few businesses, I am looking at a car with a luxury brand name and I paid cash for X or Y and im automatically an a**hole... They made the uncalled for insuation correct. I am better than them.

I flat out cant respect a person who judges me based on my career choice and ability to afford what I buy and to make smart choices. It is jealously pure and simple because money only makes people pricks if it isn't their money.

And before you go and say... just dont tell them... When someone asks me what kind of mortgage rate I got I'm not going to lie to them. If it bothers them that I don't have one they can bite me. If it bothers them that I dont have a 900 dollar car payment they can bite me.

 

[Andy Black]

Huh? What negative people?

It's kind of like "burning the boats". Why would I stop to burn the boats? I'm busy moving forward.

I don't need to kick negative people out. I'm moving forwards. Negative people get left behind. I'll automatically be surrounded by whoever is also moving forward.



Just my 2c.

 

[Almantas]

Great input, guys. I think we all have different definitions of what 'negative people' mean to us, but we all agree that negative people produce negative effects. As Andy mentioned, be too busy working on yourself to even stop for a minute and contemplate about negative people and their limited world-vision.

Birds of the same feather flock together. Make sure you flock with the right crew.

 

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[Kak]

I'm beginning to see why rich people prefer the company of other rich people. I can't blame them.

Good thread OP. Rep+.

 

[TonyStark]

"I got enemies, got a lotta enemies,
Got a lotta people tryna drain me of this energy."

 

[safff]

This is absolutely accurate. Before I got into self development, I never realized how negative people were


It is true, but I have to agree with OP. Myvawesome (negative) friends got organically pushed aside when I started focusing on my business. Funny enough, other friends (positive), who I didn't spend as much time with before started to gain importance in my life. And anyways, at some point you cannot not realize that these people are leeches sucking on your hard earned positivity, unless you are clueless about self development...

That's extremely accurate and I don't disagree at all -

I more meant that in the beginning, slow or fastlane, the effort that most people claim it takes to break free from these people actually emanates from failing to realise that people are leaches in the first instance as opposed to it being difficult to move on. Like you say, people will often keep the wrong people close, for not actually realising how negative they actually are. Difference with entrepreneurs is that they have that draw of success to make them come to the realisation much quicker and it becomes a conduit to separate you from negativity.

The most hardy plant will struggle to flourish until you remove the weeds that are suffocating it for nourishment.

 

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[Mattie]

How to get rid of negative friends? I suppose in my circumstances it's very true, the more I focused on growth and development they kind of fall away naturally. Otherwise they get tired of hearing you talk about your projects. Entrepreneurship appears boring to them. All work and no play.

 

[safff]

How to get rid of negative friends? I suppose in my circumstances it's very true, the more I focused on growth and development they kind of fall away naturally. Otherwise they get tired of hearing you talk about your projects. Entrepreneurship appears boring to them. All work and no play.

Leads to another question I suppose - Do people here feel that their journey 'looses' them friends? or meerely 'replaces' them? For myself I'd say I've become low on friends, high on acquaintances (both slow and fast lane). Largely in part due to negativity and 'time'. A kind of natural selection in a way..

 

[FiftySeven]

Huh? What negative people?

It's kind of like "burning the boats". Why would I stop to burn the boats? I'm busy moving forward.

I don't need to kick negative people out. I'm moving forwards. Negative people get left behind. I'll automatically be surrounded by whoever is also moving forward.



Just my 2c.

Wisdom...

 

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[Mattie]

Leads to another question I suppose - Do people here feel that their journey 'looses' them friends? or meerely 'replaces' them? For myself I'd say I've become low on friends, high on acquaintances (both slow and fast lane). Largely in part due to negativity and 'time'. A kind of natural selection in a way..

I think honestly everyone's experience is different. For me I've had to sacrifice many toxic relationships, and don't regret it at all. It was necessary and healthy. While their is a negative side, I'm now the Villain, I understand it's simply because they're not self-actualized, and they're projecting their experience on me.

Really I'm just mirroring what they need to work out in themselves. The roles are just reversed now. It kinds of weird. I used to see them as the villains. I done past them in 2011. Really the more I grow in Entrepreneurship the more i will be difficult to relate to certain people.

I've pretty much figured out, if you pursue Entrepreneurship, you will not be everyone's best friend. I believe jealousy becomes a problem, sabotage, resentment, anger, and bitterness, because you've done something other individuals find hard.

As INFJ I'm very selective who I hang out with to begin with Naturally. I rather be around healthier people, authentic, and genuine. I don't go looking for friends. I allow it to happen Naturally.

 

[Ecom man]

A few months ago I moved across country. We left everyone behind and really haven't looked back. A few weeks ago a couple of friends came to visit us. It was literally the worst week that I have had since moving. They were constantly fighting (husband and wife), constantly mooching (sorry we don't have money but you do so you pay) etc. When they left my wife and I said we were never having them come back. Its amazing what you realize after not being around someone for a few months. Sometimes you can't see the negativity in people or what effect they are having on you until you get away from them for a while.

 

[ApparentHorizon]

I think I've had 1 actually negative person in my life where they were like a rock. Simply stopped talking to that person and cut off all communication.

The rest fall within a gradient ranging from can't keep up and want to know more.

The ones that couldn't keep up, just continued doing their own thing...tried to invite them to events and other opportunities to grow, but they just didn't have the energy to escape their cycle.

The others that came along, although most of them are pursuing careers working for someone else, are more open to the opportunities that life presents. Freelance gig here and there. Maybe a contract with a company for a few months to a few years.

It's not always about pushing out negative people.

Sometimes you have to open their eyes to the rest of the world.

For example, one of your friends is really great with databases and loves doing it as a hobby or as a small portion of his duties on the job. However, he's stuck in a 9-5 making below average money managing a company's intranet. He tells you, "man, you have it lucky you get to do what you want all day."

What's the first though in your mind:
a) "It's not luck a**hole, I worked my a$$ off!"
b) "You can do this as well. Have you tried reaching out to a few businesses who many need a DB tech once or twice a month?"

 

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[GuestUser8117]

I just say we will stop seeing each other or I stop talking to them and don't answer the phone.

 

[MB2]

Let's move forward.Ones who don't, will fall apart.

 

[Interesting Life]

I've been talking to other people about this recently coincidentally.

I also find that I tend to feel better shedding my most negative friends.

I have also found through the years that some friends will grow given the proper guidance and motivations. That's what friends do right? They help each other.

Some friends naturally are great to be around. Some need some goading. Some are just hopeless and will drag you down.

You can lead a horse to water but you can't make it drink. In my opinion if even after leading it to water it won't drink it isn't a horse. It's a jackass and doesn't have a place in your life.

All the best,

D

 

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[townhaus]

Just stop talking to them and ignore them if the reach out. They'll get the message and probably wont contact you again after like 1 month.

Block their number or change your phone number and only give it out selectively to people you trust.

Delete facebook if you havn't already. It's better for your privacy and people cant see where you've been.

 

[Crossroads]

Hi guys, just a quick suggestion on how to get rid of negative friends. While most people say it takes effort to get rid of negative friends, I respectfully disagree. The most easiest way to get rid of negative friends is to concentrate on your business and self-development and they will get rid of themselves. How so? It's pretty simple actually: negative people look for approval and attention, once you direct your attention towards positive activities they will no longer have interest in you. The situation becomes similar to an actor giving a performance (negative people), while an audience (you) is being absorbed by different activities - it will piss an actor off and the performance will soon end.

This is just my personal observation and suggestion. I would be lying to myself if I said I don't want to convince you to get rid of negative people. I really do hope you get rid of them sooner rather than later. Life is a beauty and there's no space for negative freaks crawling around every corner. Kick them out now, folks - by concentrating on your business and self-development.

I've walked away from a few friends (and family members) over the years. They didn't get that I don't want to be part of the status quo, and they kept trying to plan my time off work for me. Shopping, eating out, concerts, etc. I could be in the middle of a major project, explain that to them, and still they'd decide that I needed a break; I must have fun their way, yada yada. I *was* having fun working on what I wanted to be working on. They never wanted to know about my projects. So, yeah, they had to go. It's all good.

 

[kkompoti]

my best man:
when i started my ventures 3 and a half years ago, i was speaking all the time to my best man about it. i was trying to make him join me. i even said to him come with me. i put the money. you put half the work in order to help him out (very bad economic condition) and share the profits.
he listened to me and did nothing. we will see it in a week.... not now i am going to my job... etc all excuses.
and the most weird of all. "you are not going to suceed. this is for people with money".
then it hit me.
he is a negative person. he does not like to go out of his comfort zone (beeing an employee).
now i stopped tellling him about that. we scarcely go out and then all we talk about is weather and football.

two weeks ago i found an opportunity for him. through my networking with an agency i managed to find him a job as a guard to one of its facilities.
300 euro a month raise from what he makes today.that is 33,3% raise. i told him about it. he said to me we will discuss about it on monday....
two weeks after that i was waiting for him to call. no call until now.not even to drink a coffee.

my most recent example of negativity.
he exits my life as i develop

 

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[Almantas]

my best man:
when i started my ventures 3 and a half years ago, i was speaking all the time to my best man about it. i was trying to make him join me. i even said to him come with me. i put the money. you put half the work in order to help him out (very bad economic condition) and share the profits.
he listened to me and did nothing. we will see it in a week.... not now i am going to my job... etc all excuses.
and the most weird of all. "you are not going to suceed. this is for people with money".
then it hit me.
he is a negative person. he does not like to go out of his comfort zone (beeing an employee).
now i stopped tellling him about that. we scarcely go out and then all we talk about is weather and football.

two weeks ago i found an opportunity for him. through my networking with an agency i managed to find him a job as a guard to one of its facilities.
300 euro a month raise from what he makes today.that is 33,3% raise. i told him about it. he said to me we will discuss about it on monday....
two weeks after that i was waiting for him to call. no call until now.not even to drink a coffee.

my most recent example of negativity.
he exits my life as i develop

The sooner you realize that the more time you'll have for better things. Right people will come into your life, just keep hustling and improving.

 

[Torobaro]

Hi guys, just a quick suggestion on how to get rid of negative friends. While most people say it takes effort to get rid of negative friends, I respectfully disagree. The most easiest way to get rid of negative friends is to concentrate on your business and self-development and they will get rid of themselves. How so? It's pretty simple actually: negative people look for approval and attention, once you direct your attention towards positive activities they will no longer have interest in you. The situation becomes similar to an actor giving a performance (negative people), while an audience (you) is being absorbed by different activities - it will piss an actor off and the performance will soon end.

This is just my personal observation and suggestion. I would be lying to myself if I said I don't want to convince you to get rid of negative people. I really do hope you get rid of them sooner rather than later. Life is a beauty and there's no space for negative freaks crawling around every corner. Kick them out now, folks - by concentrating on your business and self-development.

I totally agree. People won´t change so you are the one that has to change. Putting any effort in avoiding negative people only makes them more present. As Tony Roobins says: "where focus goes energy flows". There is no time to focus on anything negative.

Once you start to change, to focus your efforts and to build your business you will gravitate towards like minded people. Two months will go by and you won´t even be thinking of your old negative friends anymore.

 

[Invictus]

Once the respect for a person is gone the friendship isn't there anyway. It is just an annoyance.

I don't have all the money in the world... But when people insinuate that I am trying to be better than them just because I own a few businesses, I am looking at a car with a luxury brand name and I paid cash for X or Y and im automatically an a**hole... They made the uncalled for insuation correct. I am better than them.

I flat out cant respect a person who judges me based on my career choice and ability to afford what I buy and to make smart choices. It is jealously pure and simple because money only makes people pricks if it isn't their money.

And before you go and say... just dont tell them... When someone asks me what kind of mortgage rate I got I'm not going to lie to them. If it bothers them that I don't have one they can bite me. If it bothers them that I dont have a 900 dollar car payment they can bite me. If it bothers them that I have JPM pallaidum reserve card they can bite me.

I can't grasp judging someone negatively because they own businesses and are successful. Is it just jealousy and projection?

 

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[DedicatedLester]

I'm beginning to see why rich people prefer the company of other rich people. I can't blame them.

Good thread OP. Rep+.

This reminds me of a quote I heard from Tim Ferris on some random podcast, "Friends come and go, but enemies accumulate," haha.

But in all seriousness, I love this thread. I'm currently reevaluating my relationships. As a result, I'm finding new opportunities and dodging potential headaches in the future.

 

[kytro360]

I'm beginning to see why rich people prefer the company of other rich people. I can't blame them.

Good thread OP. Rep+.

THIS right here! This is what I'm starting to notice aswell

 

[SuperDuper]

Is it safe to say friends who share different values and goals are negative friends? Not in the sense that they are negative people, but negative energy towards your goals. For example, friends who like to work overtime and party on the weekends.

 

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[Almantas]

Is it safe to say friends who share different values and goals are negative friends? Not in the sense that they are negative people, but negative energy towards your goals. For example, friends who like to work overtime and party on the weekends.

IMO we all have different definitions of what negative friends mean to us. My understanding is that any 'friend' who posses a negative mindset is a toxic and must be avoided, just my 2c.

 

[Marcek Wirzyk]

Well put!