How do you get rid of your headwinds? Negative friends or family?

[kfernandz]

Hello everybody,

I´m new here, I haven´t had the chance to write here before, but I have read a lot of your posts here, and found them AMAZING and life changing! I have even saved some of them in my laptop so I can check them continuously.

First of all and before you say anything, I will ask you to forgive me if I make a mistake here with my grammar, my main language is Spanish, yeah, yeah ESPAÑOL! so I will definitely not write perfectly your language, English, but I´ll try my best. :smxB:

Ok, my question for all of you and the reason for this post is as the title says, How do I get rid of negative people that are suposed to be around me?
MJ explains something about it in his book and he says you should turn your back on them so you can move on. And for me it makes sense but it´s been really difficult!

I´m a 23 years old woman, who recently graduated from college so EVERYBODY expects me to find a job, and live with it. I constantly say to my father that´s not the only way to get things in life but he doesn´t understand. He is always saying to me... "They are looking for a person in whatever company", or if he is reading the newspaper he would say "Look, they are looking for a girl like you, why don´t you send them your resume". The same happens with
my best friend, sometimes she says "Hey where were you lastnight?, I couldn´t find you?" and I said "Oh sorry I was planning and strategy for a new business idea I just got, it´s amazing and I have a big chance and a great opportunity". She literally looks at me like I was crazy, or speaking chinesse :coco: And in one or two days later, she acts like I didnt said anything that day, and asks "How about you sending your resume to my company? They are looking for a...." :nonod: I love her, I mean she´s my best friend, and also happens with my dad, and others relatives and friends (almost everyone around me). But It makes me feel bad that they don´t belive in me, they don´t believe I can do it, they think it´s impossible I can find a good business idea and develop it, or they just think I´m making a mistake dreaming with impossible things, or things that I should not do, because that´s not the normal thing to do... obviously! It would be really SAD if I made normal things like everyone else, because I would end up being like everybody ..poor, stressed out, with no time or health!

Well, to finish, I will like you to help me and tell me what would you if you were in a similar position..or what can I do so that this does not negatively affect me? I will definitely keep trying, thinking and thinking for Fastlane business ideas, but I do not want this to affect me or my motivation. I know and I´m sure (100%) I can do it, I haven´t hit it yet with the best idea, but I´m definitely trying and trying, and I know one day not so far I will achieve it, and I would just blow their minds. :huh2:

Thanks for your help in advance! :smxB:

 

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[kfernandz]

Oh, other things they tell me is "So, are you going to lose 5 years of your life and your education? with a business that doesn´t have to do with your career?"

This is one the hardest question... I think! But after a few thoughts I got to the conclusion that I did NOT lose my time there, I did learn A LOT! I´m graduated in marketing and advertising so instead of being the advertising or marketing executive of a small company and earning a stupid minimum salary, instead of breaking my head thinking ideas that would benefit other, I will do it for my own company, I will OWN the business and have all the skills and knowledge to do it.

I think I didn´t tell you this but... I live in Venezuela, and we are having hard times here. Our current minimum salary (monthly payment that almost EVERYONE has) is 1250 Bs.F. Which is something like $143 USD. (Because we have to pay 8,7 for each US Dollar).

If I find a Job, the one that everybody´s talking about and encouraging me to have, I would have a monthly payment of $143 for working 5 or 6 days a week for 1 ENTIRE month! DO YOU THINK THIS IS POSSIBLE? DO YOU THINK I COULD HAVE A REAL GOOD LIFE WITH THIS PAYMENT? I always said that to my father, but he kept saying this "You start with a low payment but after a few years you will grow in the company and you will be paid more"

I will just said this.. the manager of the last company I worked for, earned a monthly payment of 3500 Bs.F which is something like $400. Yeah! The manager, the man with 40 years old, who broke his back working for years to grow a grow until he got there, just for earning $400 a month! That´s not something I dream on! Thank GOD!

Nobody can live in this country with that minimun salary, so finally everybody starts their "own" business and start selling things so they can complete and pay all the bills they have! That is just SAD!

So, I will keep waiting for your answer! I´d love to hear your comments on this! THANKS!

 

[Graves]

The manager, the man with 40 years old, who broke his back working for years to grow a grow until he got there, just for earning $400 a month!

Wow, you could earn that so much faster on the internet

 

[MikeC]

You're on the right path, that's for sure.

Negative headwinds from friends and family is something you're just going to have to deal with.

I had a lot of that when I first started. I wasn't making any money, and everyone told me to stop wasting my time. I simply ignored them, and continued. Now that I'm finding success, everyone who told me to stop now wants to know how I did it, so they can do it as well.

Keep at it, and you'll make A LOT more than $400 a month. Remember, when you find success, everyone who is telling you to stop is going to be asking you how you did it. Use their negative feedback as motivation to succeed, and you will.

 

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[Flatlander]

If I find a Job, the one that everybody´s talking about and encouraging me to have, I would have a monthly payment of $143 for working 5 or 6 days a week for 1 ENTIRE month!

You shouldn't even consider a job. You can easily make far more than this online and it wouldn't be that hard and it wouldn't take that long.

 

[Anon3587x]

Don't listen to them.

You know you're right
You know they're wrong

If they knew everything you did, they would also agree, but ignorance is such a horrible thing.
The more ignorant they are, the more they will disagree.

Some people think dreams and ideas are unrealistic. They are only telling you not to do it, because they are not capable of it themselves.

 

[kfernandz]

Wow, you could earn that so much faster on the internet

I sure can! thanks for the idea! But I don't want to survive earning the same amount of money on the internet. I want to make something BIG!! I want to solve people's need, I want to make something everybody will talk about, so I do have to work A LOT! Thinking, Thinking, Thinking, that's what I'm doing in my picture, by the way!

You shouldn't even consider a job. You can easily make far more than this online and it wouldn't be that hard and it wouldn't take that long.

I don't consider it AT ALL! Thanks!

 

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[kfernandz]

I had a lot of that when I first started. I wasn't making any money, and everyone told me to stop wasting my time. I simply ignored them, and continued. Now that I'm finding success, everyone who told me to stop now wants to know how I did it, so they can do it as well.

Keep at it, and you'll make A LOT more than $400 a month. Remember, when you find success, everyone who is telling you to stop is going to be asking you how you did it. Use their negative feedback as motivation to succeed, and you will.

WOW! Thanks A LOT for this advice! That's what I needed! I will keep thinking and working and I will always keep in mind that they will come to me one day...to ask how I did it, that makes sense! Thanks a lot, it was really helpful.

 

[kfernandz]

If they knew everything you did, they would also agree, but ignorance is such a horrible thing.
The more ignorant they are, the more they will disagree.

Some people think dreams and ideas are unrealistic. They are only telling you not to do it, because they are not capable of it themselves.

That's so true! thanks for the insight!

 

[Inphinity]

Wow, I couldn't imagine even considering getting by on US$400/month, let alone US$143. I'm glad you've decided to go down the path less traveled and not get stuck in that rut that it seems most of your friends and family are. I'm sure you'll learn a lot here to help you on your journey! And if you haven't, check out MJ's book

 

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[kfernandz]

Wow, I couldn't imagine even considering getting by on US$400/month, let alone US$143.

Neither do I

I'm sure you'll learn a lot here to help you on your journey! And if you haven't, check out MJ's book

I'm learning A LOT and you've been wonderful help! And I'm also reading MJ's book, which is THE BEST thing that ever happened to me this year! So... Thanks a lot MJ!

 

[andviv]

Bienvenida, Chama!

Those of us that have lived in a latin country understand this dilemma. When I told my family that I was leaving the country to follow my dream in the U.S. all but one told me I was crazy to quit a "safe, secure job" with one of the best companies in the country. I still followed my dream and I can't say I regret; in fact, it is one of the best decisions in my life.

In the meantime, how are you planning to pay for your bills and expenses to start your business?

I know back home it is OK to live with your parents until you get married and move out, and a big part of it is that you couldn't afford living by yourself otherwise.

About your family and friends, it is normal they think like that... after all, how many of your friends or relatives have followed the entrepreneur route and have made it, and now are rich and living the big life? (especially these days that "el mi comandante" takes all from the rich to give to the poor) so they are saying that as a way to protect you.

 

[MJ DeMarco]

"So, are you going to lose 5 years of your life and your education? with a business that doesn´t have to do with your career?"

The startup process of a business is the most educating experience you will ever have.

I´m a 23 years old woman, who recently graduated from college so EVERYBODY expects me to find a job, and live with it.

This just means you are unlike everyone else, therefore, will have opportunities unlike everyone else simply because you have trained yourself not to THINK like them.

Anytime someone fires you headwinds, look at it as CONFIRMATION that you are on the right path.

There's a saying that I'd rather work 80 hours a week for myself than 40 hours a week for someone else.

Karla, you sound like me -- the type of person who by simply being in their own business and making their own decisions and writing their own paycheck will make you happy, regardless of money. The money then becomes the byproduct.

I just told someone the other day that I still feel 27 years old. Why? What is so special about 27?

I replied that I was 27 years old when I finally was fully self-sufficient in the game of entrepreneurship -- no, not rich or even making big $$, but fully self-sufficient and not reliant on anyone, or any job. That was when I found happiness and from that point on, it's been nothing happiness piled on. It has made me ageless.

 

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[kfernandz]

Bienvenida, Chama!

OK, this made me laugh! xD so.. GRACIAS! Un abrazo amigo!

In the meantime, how are you planning to pay for your bills and expenses to start your business?

I know back home it is OK to live with your parents until you get married and move out, and a big part of it is that you couldn't afford living by yourself otherwise.

Well, I don't live with my father since I was 17 years old. My mother passed away when I was 6, and then he decided to move to a small town, so when I was a 17 I didn't have so much options to study in college. That's why I decided to move and live by myself in other city. At first he started giving me all the money that I needed! But he wasn't that good economically, so as the time passed I knew I had to get a job, and I did! Nobody wants to hire a 17 year-old girl, but fortunately they did! My first job was for one of the biggest companies in my country, so I DID learn a lot there. From then until now I've been affording all my expenses and my bills.

HOW? well, you know, that's a hard question, because I don't even know I sell something here, something there, I design business cards, or wedding invitation cards, even web sites (ALL so I can survive, until I found my FASTLANE, of course).

I just refuse a job offer last week, one of my cousins found it for me, it was a really stable and nice company so when I said "THANKS, BUT NO THANKS" everybody was like hahahahaha! They don't understand at all. You know? Maybe in other countries, even in United States is different, but you are from a Latin country so you DO understand that a job here is not a favor or something you should thank for, a job here is the most slavish thing in the world, not just because of the 8-5 thing, but because of the miserable payments.

About your family and friends, it is normal they think like that... after all, how many of your friends or relatives have followed the entrepreneur route and have made it, and now are rich and living the big life? (especially these days that "el mi comandante" takes all from the rich to give to the poor) so they are saying that as a way to protect you.

hahahahahahah, NONE! and thanks! A lottt!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[kfernandz]

Use their negative feedback as motivation to succeed, and you will.

I will write this on my door It really made me feel good!

 

[kfernandz]

Karla, you sound like me -- the type of person who by simply being in their own business and making their own decisions and writing their own paycheck will make you happy, regardless of money. The money then becomes the byproduct.

OMG! :'( Thanks a lot, you almost made me cry, saying I sound like you, that means A LOT to me! So thanks, you really made my day! hehehe!

There's a saying that I'd rather work 80 hours a week for myself than 40 hours a week for someone else.

Of course I'd rather work for me than for someone else! I HATE JOBS! I spent the last 2 years looking for a nice job and all they offered me (even with my college degree) was: "Oh, we are looking for a secretary, you'll be perfect for it", "We need someone like you that welcome our clients and say hello, how can we help you today, and then you tell them which department to go, standing in the front door, from 8 to 5, you'll love it" I went out of these job interviews in tears, everytime I went out crying and crying, you know?? I don't have anything against these type of jobs, but they certainly don't have anything to do with my career, and they are paid below of what I need even to afford my expenses. SO why in the world would I say yes to one of these? I have to be crazy! Not even if they offer something that is related to my career, like I said in the previous post when I was answering ANDVIV I just refuse a job offer last week, and I can't be happier that I did.

Even if I have to work more and earn less (which basically is my reality) I will rather working for me than working for someone else! That won't make sense for the rest, but it makes sense to me, because I will see results one day! And I hope it is soon! I also hope you'll be there on my way to success (from now until I find my fastlane business idea) so you can advice me like you are doing now. You'll be great help and motivation.

I thank God I found this forum, full of wonderful people, and that I found your book MJ, because if I hadn't I wouldn't have the strength and the courage that is needed to say NO to a job when I really needed the money! I said NO because NOW I believe in me, I believe I can do better, I believe I can hit it with a great idea that will solve some people's need. Now I have the most useful information and tips on how to start my own business, and not only my own business (which I've been thinking for a long time) but a fastlane business idea, which is pretty different for me. Now, I don't care everyone thinks I'm crazy for doing the opposite of what I "should". I don't care they think I'm loosing my time doing something that doesn't have to do with my career. I don't care about anyone, but me! What you do with this book is AMAZING, you've changed my thoughts and my beliefs, and that is priceless, I would recommed your book even with my eyes closed! That's for sure!

I've read a lot of books about business, about how to make money, how to accomplish your goals, but MAN!! you've really hit it with this one... this is the first time I read a book and want to read more and more, is like a mystery book about business, you want more and more... most authors come and say "be possitive, think you can and you will" you don't, you are clear, concise, honest, base your stories and theories in logical and numerical exercises, and you tell us exactly how to do it and how to make it work.

Thanks MJ! I'll be gratefull for live!

 

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