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How to Get Rid of Negative Friends

Discussion in 'People & Relationships' started by Almantas, Oct 4, 2016.

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  1. DedicatedLester
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    DedicatedLester New Contributor

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    This reminds me of a quote I heard from Tim Ferris on some random podcast, "Friends come and go, but enemies accumulate," haha.

    But in all seriousness, I love this thread. I'm currently reevaluating my relationships. As a result, I'm finding new opportunities and dodging potential headaches in the future.
     
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  2. kytro360
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    kytro360 Contributor

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    THIS right here! This is what I'm starting to notice aswell :cool:
     
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  3. SuperDuper
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    SuperDuper New Contributor Read Millionaire Fastlane

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    Is it safe to say friends who share different values and goals are negative friends? Not in the sense that they are negative people, but negative energy towards your goals. For example, friends who like to work overtime and party on the weekends.
     
  4. Almantas
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    Almantas Nothing to Lose Read Millionaire Fastlane I've Read UNSCRIPTED FASTLANE INSIDER Speedway Pass

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    IMO we all have different definitions of what negative friends mean to us. My understanding is that any 'friend' who posses a negative mindset is a toxic and must be avoided, just my 2c.
     
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  5. Marcek Wirzyk
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    Well put!
     
  6. Puppy
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    for me getting rid of my negative 'friends' was easy, i simply stopped talking to them. in fact, it was too easy. when i stopped being there i saw that they had never been there for me in the first place. and man, did that ever hurt.

    these were people i cared about, had been there for, made time for, and when the truth came out, i was no one to them. i probably should be angry about it but even now it just makes me sad. but it also opened my eyes. i was surrounded by drug addicts and users, alcoholics, abusive people and people in abusive relationships, USERS, criminals, thieves, con artists, liers, cheaters. i was doing my best to make it in the slowlane because that was the only way for people like us to 'make it'. yet what was around me wasnt even sidewalk, it was the gutter.

    it was a soul crushing experience for 4 years as i tried to get out and hold on at the same time. these were my friends, i didnt want to lose them. i could deal with the bullshit i thought, financially i was doing ok and moving ahead. my greatest fear was being alone and having no friends. how horrible that sounds to say now.

    now its family. thats even worse. how do you get rid of negative family? how do you walk away from family? thats what i have been struggling with for the last few months. in a week i will be completely moved. no one knows where exactly im going. a few know what city ill be in. some dont even know im moving. i have refused to tell where in the city im moving to. im doing all i can to keep my address unknown. i will be changing my number. i know i will not be taking part in any future family fuctions. i know i will be branded as a pos by my siblings. i know my mother will not understand and will worry and be hurt. i dont know what to tell her.
     
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  7. Mr.Brandtastic
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    Mr.Brandtastic Bronze Contributor Read Millionaire Fastlane I've Read UNSCRIPTED Speedway Pass

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    It may not even be that they are negative or nasty people. If your goals don't align, your relationship will start to diverge. They are comfortable often times taking the slowlane and I'm not.
     
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  8. SteveO
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    SteveO Legendary Contributor FASTLANE INSIDER Speedway Pass LEGENDARY CONTRIBUTOR Summit Attendee

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    I have a few friends that people would consider rich. I also have a number of friends that worked up through the slowlane ranks. Don't see a big difference.

    I have friends from this forum but most people I know from sports such as running, softball, and golf. Those are the people that I spend the most time with.

    For some reason the socio-economics don't come into play too often. Perhaps with a tournament that is out of state or something people may get weeded out from the costs. The negative people tend to work themselves out of a team simply by people not liking them.

    I ran with a guy for months that worked part-time for minimum wage and lived with his mom at the age of 50. He spent a number of terms in jail/prison mostly for theft. He had nothing going on in his life that he did not complain about. It never bothered me. My goal was to train and he provided company and entertainment through the miles. His personal life issues did not affect me.
     
  9. jasoncuellar123
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    jasoncuellar123 Money Never Sleeps Read Millionaire Fastlane I've Read UNSCRIPTED Speedway Pass

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    You make them an MLM pitch
     
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    Wise. Pleasure to.know you personally.

    P.s. thanks for suggesting to join this forum! Will definitely get books!
     
  11. theresgot2bemore
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    We think alike. I find it ridiculous that this sort of thing exists. It is very toxic indeed. I'm not Fastlane by any means yet but it is a reasonable mindset to have (yours of course).

    As Dan S. Kennedy says the so called "constructive critic" is one folks should watch out for. I learned this one the hard way. If you pay attention you'll notice snarky little comments hidden under the guise of "caring" about you whenever you mention anything success based. Awful people.

    Come to think about it I believe Robert Greene talks about it in the law of power as well.

    True, the simplest things are the most effective. Like one poster above said I, too, have a fear of being alone at the moment so I found it hard to let go of complete trash "friends" but then I realize there are forums like this to find like minded people who want to be successful. For that I'm thankful because I can imagine back then things were hard when you had few places to turn to.
     
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