What's the point complaining?

[Andy Black]

I’m forever grateful for my military dad who taught me not to complain.

If you can’t do something about it, what’s the point complaining?

If you *can* do something about it, what’s the point complaining?

If you’re not going to do something about it, what’s the point complaining?

If you *are* going to something about it, what’s the point complaining?

RIP Andy Black Snr

 

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[RazorCut]

Amen to that.

 

[Amko]

Wise words from your father. I always wished that I had been raised more disciplined than I actually was.

People seek comfort in socially validating their pain. The desire to feel included in the community of commiseration. It's far easier to criticize from the sideline than it is to take action.

 

[Xeon]

Complaining/whining/bitching is good. It releases all that built-up anger/frustration/stress and other unhealthy stuff inside. Everytime when I complain to myself or whine to others about how unfair life is/how much life sucks/why others are better, my body feels a lot lighter. We're all humans....

The difference though, is that after complaining, one has to get out there and continue taking action/hustling.

 

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[DonTriumph]

Most people should read this.

I observed one thing about complaining: People who complain more achieve less in life; people who complain less (or stopped complaining) and did the actual work achieve more in life.

 

[Zcott]

It's good to complain and vent. Sometimes it might make you realise you're just being stupid. If you continue to complain though then you're not looking for solutions, you're just a complainer, which, as your Dad said, there has no point.

 

[Ankerstein17]

I’m forever grateful for my military dad who taught me not to complain.

If you can’t do something about it, what’s the point complaining?

If you *can* do something about it, what’s the point complaining?

If you’re not going to do something about it, what’s the point complaining?

RIP Andy Black Snr

Love this!

 

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[MTEE1985]

I’m forever grateful for my military dad who taught me not to complain.

If you can’t do something about it, what’s the point complaining?

If you *can* do something about it, what’s the point complaining?

If you’re not going to do something about it, what’s the point complaining?

RIP Andy Black Snr

Papa Black was a wise man.

There is a Chinese proverb
very similar which says:
“If you problem has a solution, why worry about it?
If it has no solution, why worry about it?”

Sadly we live in a world where people would rather worry than actually do something about it because it keeps them “busy”
My goodness do people love to be busy.

As entrepreneurs it is a very important lesson because our job is solving problems. If it can be solved, then solve it (and profit from it) if it can’t, then move on to the next problem.

 

[The Abundant Man]

View: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LFjApwKyKt8

View: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jBjyVc2_GR0

View: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HzmgfwrUZyg

 

[ShamanKing]

I’m forever grateful for my military dad who taught me not to complain.

If you can’t do something about it, what’s the point complaining?

If you *can* do something about it, what’s the point complaining?

If you’re not going to do something about it, what’s the point complaining?

RIP Andy Black Snr

I think people love complaining because majority of who is listening will give them excuses/words/reasons that will make them feel a better about themselves. For example, you are young, still have time, not your fault, blah blah blah....Hence they experience a little high. Also I think those who complain especially on social media loves the attention and they also feel a little high off of it.

 

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[luniac]

I’m forever grateful for my military dad who taught me not to complain.

If you can’t do something about it, what’s the point complaining?

If you *can* do something about it, what’s the point complaining?

If you’re not going to do something about it, what’s the point complaining?

RIP Andy Black Snr

Yup, i spent many years complaining and it was a waste of energy.
It doesn't even make you feel any better in the long term.

 

[ZF Lee]

I’m forever grateful for my military dad who taught me not to complain.

If you can’t do something about it, what’s the point complaining?

If you *can* do something about it, what’s the point complaining?

If you’re not going to do something about it, what’s the point complaining?

RIP Andy Black Snr

It reminds me of this joke on life...

There's two things you need to be worried about in life.

Whether you have money, or not.

If you have money, there's nothing to worry about.

But if you don't, there's two things you need to worry about next.

Whether you have a supportive family, or not.

If you have a supportive family, there's nothing to worry about.

But if you don't, there's two things you need to worry about next.

Whether you are healthy, or not.

If you are healthy, there's nothing to worry about.

But If you aren't, there's two things you need to worry about.

Whether you live, or you die.

If you live, there's nothing to worry about.

But if you die....you can't worry when you are dead.

 

[Azure]

Looking at it from the opposite side, complaining is good in some cases. It allows the innovative people to capitalize on issues in society - whether they be businessmen, politicians or community organizers. A large percentage of this is obviously useless noise, but it's that small sliver of gold that perpetuates societal advancement and allows us to progress rather than stagnate.

Unfortunately it's one of those cases where you have to take the frequent bad with the minority of good. Paretos law shines through yet again

 

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[jpanarra]

This is what I think is what people are missing when they are spoiled rotten or entitled. They believe that everything they get is through complaining.

This was a lesson I learned very quickly as a sole Deaf kid moving into a large public school. I used to complain, its not fair that they can take notes and listen. Its not fair that I have to go to additional written english classes when others went to recess. It's not fair that they can bicker and I don't understand what they're all laughing about.

Sometimes children are the best teachers, one kid said to me one day.. what are you going to do about it.

I started raising my hand every time i missed something on my notes. I started to work harder on my English to get ahead so I could go to recess.

I made myself the center of attention so I know what people were talking about.

 

[Bearcorp]

Bump.

Spot on @Andy Black and Andy Black Snr.

 

[RichieG]

I’m forever grateful for my military dad who taught me not to complain.

If you can’t do something about it, what’s the point complaining?

If you *can* do something about it, what’s the point complaining?

If you’re not going to do something about it, what’s the point complaining?

If you *are* going to something about it, what’s the point complaining?

RIP Andy Black Snr

People complain for a few reasons:

1) I know what i'm talking about - you are wrong I am right
2) They are after something for free or discounted
3) They are not happy or have lost focus
4) They don't understand the process of what has caused the complaint

In an situation where there is a complaint you have put yourself in that situation. You have done something to trigger that emotion ( generally anger )

Generally you have purchased or asked something. Maybe look at yourself instead of complaining about others

Great Post Andy Black

 

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[redplant]

Catharsis. I grew up around complainers, so I have this tendency to complain when sh*ts start hitting the fan. It's all good, though. I just have to consciously stop myself from time to time.

 

[LittleWolfie]

When asked how I was, I complained to the other person about my transit difficulty . They then inquired where I was travelling form, and volunteered other people travelling in the same direction on the shift.

I then found and talked to those people, and we pooled our funds and arranged a regular shared taxi run, thus solving the problem. If none of us had complained and just avoided worriyng about it, the problem would never have been resolved, and all of us and the taxi driver would be worse off.

If you want to avoid hearing complaints, then stop asking people about themselves.

 

[Adam VanBuskirk]

Agree completely. I keep a daily journal of my startup. I start every entry with.... Complaining, Negativity, Worrying provide no value. I'm an entrepreneur that works hard everyday to add value to peoples lives.

 

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[Andy Black]

"Lord, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference."

(The Serenity Prayer)



If you can change it, there's not need to worry.

If you can't change it, there's no need to worry.

Either way, we don't need to worry - we just need serenity, courage, and wisdom.

 

[WJK]

"Lord, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference."

(The Serenity Prayer)



If you can change it, there's not need to worry.

If you can't change it, there's no need to worry.

Either way, we don't need to worry - we just need serenity, courage, and wisdom.

I had an adult cousin who sat on his mother's couch -- watching TV -- worrying about nuclear war -- which he said was imminent -- while he ate potato chips and became more obese. I was living in the Los Angles area. When he told me about his fear, I shrugged my shoulders and howled with laugher. He was horrified at my reaction. I explained, that if some dropped a bomb, I'd be at the epicenter and vaporized -- so my problems would be over. End of story. Last I saw him, he was still sitting on that couch munching out -- surrounded by empty potato chip bags.

Many times worries are simply an excuse to do what you want rather than what you should do.

 

[Andy Black]

I had an adult cousin who sat on his mother's couch -- watching TV -- worrying about nuclear war -- which he said was imminent -- while he ate potato chips and became more obese. I was living in the Los Angles area. When he told me about his fear, I shrugged my shoulders and howled with laugher. He was horrified at my reaction. I explained, that if some dropped a bomb, I'd be at the epicenter and vaporized -- so my problems would be over. End of story. Last I saw him, he was still sitting on that couch munching out -- surrounded by empty potato chip bags.

Many times worries are simply an excuse to do what you want rather than what you should do.

So much wrong with his thinking!

Yeah, I’ve noticed those worrying the most are often those doing the least.

 

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[Madame Peccato]

I'll never understand people who complain endlessly, do they genuinely enjoy it?

When I tell someone that complaining about the weather won't make it stop raining they look at me as if I insulted their mother. Cry me a river then, it mixes well with the rain.

There is another side to it though. Complaining helps me verbalize my thoughts and lets me understand what is actually wrong with the situation, thus leading me to start considering ways to solve the issue (if possible).

The occasional complaint is fine, and sometimes helpful; complaining 24/7 about anything that happens as if it was the end of the world is not.

I still fall in the "complaining trap" sometimes, our brains are hardwired to do it. The best defense against this pitfall is to be aware you are doing it, stop, and reframe your thoughts or put more thought into the situation, to realize it's not as bad as your brain is making it look like.

 

[Andy Black]

I'll never understand people who complain endlessly, do they genuinely enjoy it?

When I tell someone that complaining about the weather won't make it stop raining they look at me as if I insulted their mother. Cry me a river then, it mixes well with the rain.

There is another side to it though. Complaining helps me verbalize my thoughts and lets me understand what is actually wrong with the situation, thus leading me to start considering ways to solve the issue (if possible).

The occasional complaint is fine, and sometimes helpful; complaining 24/7 about anything that happens as if it was the end of the world is not.

I still fall in the "complaining trap" sometimes, our brains are hardwired to do it. The best defense against this pitfall is to be aware you are doing it, stop, and reframe your thoughts or put more thought into the situation, to realize it's not as bad as your brain is making it look like.

This is a good point. There’s a downside to not saying anything when things aren’t as you’d like.

“The only problems that can’t be solved are the ones under the table.” (Blaise Brosnan discussing negotiations)

I was also brought up with “If you’ve nothing nice to say then say nothing”. Again, that shouldn’t mean biting our tongue. The challenge is to figure out how to say your piece in a positive or constructive way.

It reminds me of “Yes, but” vs “Yes, and” ... as discussed in this thread:

• Yes, but

 

[WJK]

So much wrong with his thinking!

Yeah, I’ve noticed those worrying the most are often those doing the least.

More on this thought...

My grandmother used to remind me that worrying is like a rocking chair -- it keeps you very busy and gets you nowhere. She taught me to do a "what if" exercise way before it was a popular approach. Grandma used to ask me what I would do if "X", my current fear, happened? She said that IF you have a plan, you don't have to worry about it anymore. She was a very wise and practical woman.

 

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