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Unscripted minds, How did you overcome the fear of taking actions that are considered out of bounds for rats race people ?

Anything related to matters of the mind

Jeff Noel

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Thanks in advance for those of you that will take the time to answer seriously.

It can be fear of taking action, fear of judgement, etc.
 
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Champion

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Hmmm. Well what kind of actions are you specifically referring to that scare you the most?
 

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ChrisGav

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Once you get in the frame of mind that you are more afraid of being in the rat race than being afraid of rejection and failure things get interesting. Momentum is powerful though, there is no better feeling than breaking past a barrier that you put up yourself. Ever felt socially anxious but go to the networking event anyways? Afterwards is a surge of dopamine and inspiration.
 
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Pachovsky

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Actually struggling with that as well
 

AFMKelvin

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Philosophy of higher ideals.

Most entrepreneurs or inventors are seen as quirky or eccentric by most people.

Think Steve Jobs, Elon Musk, Nikola Tesla their personalities were unique.

Not been afraid of the social hiarchy. To have the mindset of an entrepreneur or at least striving to be one you have to ignore social conventions.

Even MJ went through that phase where his girlfriend, family and friends wondered why he was not looking for a job in his field of study.

It's not comfortable because you're breaking away from the pack and their script. Those closest to you will think less of you because you're not doing what they do.

Honestly you really need a strong why.
 
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baguvix

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Yesterday, I almost got hit by a truck while walking on a crosswalk. My friend saved me, because he saw that the driver was not slowing down.. I was f*cking pissed, few seconds and I would be dead. It was a big wake up call for me.. I realized that life is so short and I could be dead anytime.

So this event got me thinking about a lot of things. I said to myself that I can do anything and no fear will stop me.
 

TreyAllDay

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It's honestly just a learned skill - but eventually I learned that when I just COMMIT to something I'll make it work. Humans are quite resilient when under pressure. For me, it was quitting my job eventually without guaranteed income and 8 months runway in savings.

But yeah - it takes time. I remember when I used to harp for days over decisions that I make in an instant now
 
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GoodluckChuck

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Grant Cardone helped me with this one. I had this idea in the back of my head the whole time but he solidified it when he said something like:

"Fear is life's way of telling you what should be moving towards. If you move towards fear instead of away from it you are growing. If you move away, you are retreating. "

I thought about this a lot until it was embedded in my psyche that I needed to move towards the fear and feel good about that even though it is scary.

100% of the times I've moved toward fear and conquered it, it was a good experience. After enough of those experiences, it's easy to press on.

It turns into a habit after a while. Self-talk is very powerful here. Saying things like, "Oh good, I'm afraid of this. That's a sign that I'm heading in the right direction." - really helps.
 

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Well, I dunno about the rest of the people on this forum but I stopped caring about "fear of taking action" when I realized that the hardest part wasn't getting started, it was plowing forward. Starting is easy. It's literally the easiest thing part that will ever happen in your business. The REAL hard part, the part that nobody actually talks about and the REAL reason people fail is the GRIND.

It's trendy to say "I'm on my grind" but you're not. Until you've lost a romantic partner or two, wiped out your savings, drove yourself half insane and are still working at it, you don't even know what the "grind" is. Felix Dennis wrote in his book "88, the narrow road":

"No one tells you the cost of what you will pay when you start a business, or the sacrifice, only that you must be ready to sacrifice, the road is narrow because only one person walks it alone."

I would argue
If you like being married, don't start a business.
If you like your free time: don't start a business.
If you crack under pressure: don't start a business.
If the thought of being ruthless and pessimistic turns your stomach: Don't start a business. (I'm not saying you have to go around being a jerk all the time but if you can't stand up for yourself, you should stay an employee.)


Getting started? If you can't do the easiest part, you're not cut out for this.
 

Johnny boy

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By growing up and not being a scared pussy cat.

29914

This is how people who are afraid of doing things look. Like Howie from the benchwarmers.

Literally, can someone tell me what exactly they’re scared of?
 
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• nikita •

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I've always done what I want without considering other people's opinions lol. I find it really frustrating when I read something like "my parents want me to go to college, I don't but I guess I have to go" or something when they're being pushovers.

I took shit several times (and continue to) from people for not listening to them but it was better than living someone else's idea of a life.
 

DomantasDr

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In my experience more often than not people are more afraid of success rather that rejection/failure. If you are not doing, you are failing, but if you try, there is a chase that you will succeed and ask yourself maybe that is scary. Because success means more responsability, everything is on your shoulders now, while when you have a job, you have little responsability. Our minds are more powerful than we think, and maybe yours try to protect you... sounds funny but that may be the case.
 

NMdad

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I've met entrepreneurs who are wired a bit differently--like, jump out of the airplane, and sew the parachute on the way down.

For others of us, the action-taking gets wrapped up in a bunch of overthinking that builds up the action into something scary, or talks us out of doing anything.

The specific actions themselves (e.g., send email, make phone call) aren't difficult. It's getting past all the mental barriers we create for ourselves.

Like @TreyAllDay and @GoodluckChuck said: taking action is a skill & habit. If you're not a "sew your parachute on the way down" kind of person, you need a simple way to recognize the avoidant pattern & replace it.

Like:
  • Choose/decide to do the task without emotion: pretend you're Spock or a machine.
  • Prioritize the tasks that create fear/angst. Do those tasks FIRST--before anything else. Fear is the signal that the task needs to be top priority.
 
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AgainstAllOdds

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To add onto what everyone already said:

EV calculations.

If you calculate that the "risk" you're taking is a positive expected value, then you should take it. If you invest $10k, and have a 50/50 chance of success, success being defined as $100k+ per year, then it's obvious you should make the jump.

Financially, entrepreneurship is the highest EV decision you can make.

You being scared guarantees your EV to be mediocrity. Taking action guarantees something higher.
 

Black_Dragon43

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To add onto what everyone already said:

EV calculations.

If you calculate that the "risk" you're taking is a positive expected value, then you should take it. If you invest $10k, and have a 50/50 chance of success, success being defined as $100k+ per year, then it's obvious you should make the jump.

Financially, entrepreneurship is the highest EV decision you can make.

You being scared guarantees your EV to be mediocrity. Taking action guarantees something higher.
And when I said EV calculations... I was the bad guy :happy: :thumbsup: - well played!
 

AgainstAllOdds

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And when I said EV calculations... I was the bad guy :happy: :thumbsup: - well played!

No. That's because the EV on taking most courses is most likely negative.

What EV makes sense for is decisions that have verifiable data points behind them, and the ones that assure a strictly positive upside.

For example: cold calling. You don't know the exact EV datapoints. But you know if you don't call, then the result will be 0 sales. If you do call, the result will be equal to or greater than 0. You're scared, but realize there's no downside.

Acquiring a business: You know that stable small businesses sell for 3-4x EBITDA. You're not that confident to make the leap with a 8% SBA loan, but you do anyway since you have a built in 25-33% return and have enough faith in yourself that you won't mess it up too bad.

Whereas courses most likely are on the negative end. "I spent this much money and as a result am dumber because of it."

That's how EV calculations work.
 
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sparechange

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Process

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Thanks in advance for those of you that will take the time to answer seriously.

It can be fear of taking action, fear of judgement, etc.

Setbacks and judgement only deepen my resolve to see things through. Once you’re committed to this for the rest of your life... you just have to avoid the catastrophic risks.

Each action oriented towards skewing value for other people compounds your odds. Even if your efforts fail, which statistically most entrepreneurs fail 5-12 times before hitting pay, you get closer along the way.

Turning your back on these opinions can only help you sail forward.
 

Timmy C

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Thanks in advance for those of you that will take the time to answer seriously.

It can be fear of taking action, fear of judgement, etc.

All depends or your definition of risk. Take calculated risks.

Does the rat race seem like something that you'd be happy with?

If it is fine.

If it's not you owe it to yourself to change things and live your life on your terms.

Doubt it you being here.
 
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James Klymus

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Well I'm not perfect at this, I still have plenty of hangups, but what I do is I just do it. You ever feel that relief after you do something and think "wow I was making a big deal out of nothing, that was easier than I expected"

For example, I was procrastinating on calling the insurance company for a month (someone hit my car), and I just did it the other day and it took 5 minutes.

The reason I procrastinated though, was because it's a small scuff on my bumper. I can still drive the car, and it's hardly noticeable.

Now that I think about it, That isn't a "painful" situation to be in, to have a scuffed bumper. So having to pick up the phone and talk to people, bring my car to the shop, get a rental car, seems like a big task just for a few scratches.

This is like if you have a "safe" $100,000/ year job. Why would you go out of your way, through all the pain and discomfort, to start a business and possibly make less than you currently make or even nothing?

It's because your "why" isn't very big. It isn't worth the pain and discomfort.

On the other hand, I bought a brand new car a few years ago, and I was rear ended a few months later. Do you think I procrastinated on calling insurance then? I could barely drive the car and my rear bumper was destroyed, on a brand new car!

I was on the phone with insurance first thing that next morning, because the pain of my car being smashed and un drivable was so high, I needed that car fixed really, really badly. So it was easy to get off my a$$ and make it happen.

I still have to talk to people on the phone, go to the shop, get a rental car, but now it's all worth it to me because I wanted my car back to normal!

Imagine if you lost the $100k/year job all of the sudden. Now the pain and discomfort of starting a business is probably worth it to you, because you have been fired and lost all of your income. You'll scramble to solve that problem.

So the point I'm trying to make: A lot of your hang ups seem to disappear when your "why" is big enough, and your feet are to the fire so to speak. If you're having trouble with these mental blocks, it's probably because your why isn't really worth it to you.

This is why everyone wants to be a millionaire, but most choose mediocre comfort, they haven't made the risk worth it to them.
 

Kid

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I struggled with fear a lot.

Once upon a time i watched the interview on Bloomberg West with, i think, Udemy founder.
Anchor (Emily Chang) asked about fear and said that many startup founders say that when they started its was like looking into abyss.

He said when he starting he was also scared.
This didn't resonate with me at first.

Some time later I had idea, means to develop it and yet i was scared.
Then this happened.
I thought to myself:
"This is how you feel when you start something".

By that thought, the level of fear i felt reduced to almost 0.

I don't want to sound woo woo or something but by fighting the fear you help it to grow.

I don't know if you can eliminate fear totally or if would it be healthy thing to do.

So the thing to do is to acknowledge it. Nothing else.
It was assuring that other founders ware also scared so i didn't feel alienated or weird.
And you may feel assured of it too.
 

MTF

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Confucius (or maybe a nameless self-help guru, does it matter?) said that we have two lives, and the second begins when we realize we only have one.

The moment you decide to do with your life whatever unusual, crazy or weird thing you want, without looking at others (as long as you don't hurt them), is the moment you gain freedom.

I made a cool picture with the quote just to drive the point home:

29963

Question everything and get good at asking yourself why things are done the way they are. Often they're done this way simply because it's a dogma with no sensible explanation, because people are lazy, because people are scared, or because people don't know any better. Examples abound: 9 to 5, valuing money over time, prioritizing junk food over your health.

Here are a few examples on how to practice non-conformism or even outright eccentricity: Questioning Societal Dogmas for Entertainment, Education, and Inspiration

Life's too short to be normal. Quirky people are the most interesting people. They often lead the funnest lives just because they refuse to do the same old thing as everyone else. Be quirky, be cool.
 
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• nikita •

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In my experience more often than not people are more afraid of success rather that rejection/failure. If you are not doing, you are failing, but if you try, there is a chase that you will succeed and ask yourself maybe that is scary. Because success means more responsability, everything is on your shoulders now, while when you have a job, you have little responsability. Our minds are more powerful than we think, and maybe yours try to protect you... sounds funny but that may be the case.

I think it's less being consciously afraid of success, and more about sabotaging potential successes because it would conflict with your current identity. I.e "I'm always failing!!" becomes your identity so you seek to maintain that.
 

SJuan9

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The fear of perpetual mediocrity, its accompanying conformity, and the end result of not acting, are much more uneasy than going against "common thought".
 
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