How did you overcome your slowlane friends and family?

[MJ DeMarco]

You're business could stop tomorrow, then what?"

Uh, ya build another one? Your uncle thinks medicine is a permanent practiced skill, but building value-based businesses is not.

SMH X 1000.

 

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[kytro360]

Simply put, just ignore and execute.

I'm forced to go to uni under the same circumstance as you too. Here's the thing.. you can still launch your company and show a result. Heck, I did it. I've gained solid traction with my start up while studying part time.

"Don't let the noise of others drown out YOUR inner voice. Don't be trapped by dogma, which is living in the results of other people's thinking."

- Steve Jobs

THIS! ^

 

[windchaser]

I have lived a very similar situation than yours very closely through my husband, his parents had his lifeplan prepared for him and he could not even think of deviating from their script or they used emotional blackmail against him: with that they made him study what they chose and at the school they chose and pushed him to make many other decisions, even if they made him miserable.
Since Ivery known him, I always encouraged him to break the chains and rebel but he has not done it until recently.
It is very difficult to go against your family, the psychological part is harsh, especially at the beginning. What he did was what a lot of people is recommending in this thread: convince them with results, and they do not necessary need to be big profits, just seeing you are commited and thriving could be enough to earn their support (or minimize the pressure).
If your parents see that you are happier and they see you are committed to entrepreneurship, they eventually little by little will need to assume it and who knows, they might even end up supporting you.

 

[furiousJ]

Lots of heated debates at dinner tables, I have a serious aversion to the word can't which just so happens to be my family's motto. Now Im seeing them lose their jobs all around me, but I knew all along . One thing i've noticed is some will listen to you which is cool, but even more important is that you listen to yourself. I've never been sorry from trusting myself, but i have many mistakes by not trusting myself.

 

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[windchaser]

Well, as I mentioned earlier according to them the ONLY way of being successful is to go to school and get a degree, MBA and so on. I was enrolled in the CPA course by my parents and they already paid for it. I told them that's not what I want to do, and I would be wasting my time and their money because of it. However, they weren't convinced and now here I am doing it.

Another thing, I would try to change my mindset about the CPA.
Either don't do it at all or, if you decide to do it, try to make the best out of it. Don't think of it as a qualification that your parents force on you but as something you can learn and use for your business. After all your business is very related to accounting, maybe you can learn something there that you can use to create value to your customers.


As for dealing with your parents, I would avoid talking about the Ferrari and the Malibu house. To them you will sound as delusional as Galileo did to "earth centrists" when he claimed the earth rotated around the sun.

Instead, I would talk about how you identified a need and how you are working to solve it, and all the advances you are making on it.

Instead of talking if the wonders on the other side of the ocean, tell them about your progress building your boat or even best, show them your boat once it is built!

 

[luniac]

convince ur family ur too stupid for the slowlane LOL
worked for me. (j/k)

 

[Sanj Modha]

Keep all conversation down to "Hello, how are you, bye".

 

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[MetalGear]

Everyone here has made good points. Don't talk about working towards a better life and improving yourself. They will attempt to pull you down. See below for what I have experenced:

This past weekend, I was painfully reminded of the SCRIPT.

• I saw a Facebook message from an Aunt that is really just extended family.
• She sent me an article about a businessman that died from working too much and not sleeping enough.
• This person also psychologically damaged me for a couple of years by saying:
  • "You should get married soon, you are in your late 20s now. If you don't your babies will come out with disabilities or deformed".
• Who says that? Why would I start a family that I can't take care of? What a b!7c\-\

Talk about an underhanded and stealthy way of trying to force the SCRIPT on someone. It took me a day or two to release the anger from that thought.
I will not hang around these people anymore. Only you ladies and gentlemen understand me. Letting go of these relationships suck.

I did not even realize that some of my biggest detractors are family and friends until years later...it all clicked when I read UNSCRIPTED .

MJ basically described my life and the obstacles I'm encountering perfectly...the book is timeless and universal.

Rant over,
MG

 

[V8Bill]

Everyone has value.

I don't talk about hot rods with my friends who aren't into hot rods. Just like I don't talk wealth creation with my hot rod friends who would throw a spanner at my head if I even started. If the topic comes up and you can see people who are cool want to come into the "wealth" club and have a conversation about making (or keeping) money then I allow them access to any knowledge I have or feel like sharing.

 

[becks22]

I keep most people at at arm's length when talking about the fastlane. It's just easier. If the 'fastlane' isn't going to click with someone, you can't make it click. The only person I talk to about it is my dad (and my 93 year old grandma before she passed away in Feb).

I love when people say, business fail all the time.

Yeah they do but people lose their jobs all the time as well. I would rather create something than be at the mercy of middle management.

 

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[Gigi Rodgers]

It sucks when the naysayers are the ones that are closest to you.
Whether it's your friends, your family, or your dog giving you the side eye.

A couple of things...
About 99.8% of my friends aren't even close to being as ambitious as me, especially at my age of 35.
(and no, my profile pic isn't of me when I was 20, that's me currently. It's a beautiful mohawk, isn't it?)
I've been chasing after my dreams, my north star, for years - and my dreams have changed as I have gained more experiences.

A lot of my friends, have settled. Or it SEEMS like they have.
When I post - where I am, what I'm doing, the people I'm meeting, the projects I'm working on, etc. - I get Facebook messages saying,
"You really inspire me to take action on my dream. I've put it off for so long because I thought X, but you've really shown me...[fill in the blank]".

I'd say that people settle because no one has ever told them, or showed them, how to start.
There's some kind of barrier for them in starting.
Perhaps they're scared of looking like a fool. Or maybe they're waiting for permission. Or they're waiting for someone to believe in them and support them. Or they're waiting for that PERFECT idea. Or it's just too risky.

There could be a number of reasons.

Perhaps they didn't take the time to look, because they didn't know WHERE to look for those answers.
Perhaps they doubted, from the beginning, that I could be THAT. Or I could have THIS. Or I could go THERE.
Perhaps they've never seen someone, they know, do it. Or they have known someone who "made it", and they thought they're a "special snowflake" or
"lucky".

But then they see someone like you, or me, that they've known for years.
You come from the same background.
The same neighborhood.
You're both equally intelligent.

But hell...look where you are? Then they start thinking, "Maybe I can do that too"...
And you're documenting everything. The highs, the lows, the lessons learned, etc. That makes it more REAL.

And that makes all the fuqin' difference.

I believe the Slow Laners are in the slow lane, because they never knew how to accelerate. They didn't know where to start.
Or they did know, but they didn't have the patience and the work ethic to get to the other side. And that's the majority of people in my opinion.

You want to know how I deal with Slow Laners?
They talk. I listen, but I'm not taking in anything they're saying.
They talk, and I go DO.

I'm a "lead by example" type of person.
I go do my thing. I get these results. They say WTF?
While they're talking, I'm doing.
I'm inching my way towards RESULTS.

I graduated with a Mechanical Engineering Degree and I fuqin' hated it. I didn't want to take any tests to become any better at it, I just hated it.
I wanted to leave, so I did.
There were a LOT of turbulent times there, but I went out and I DID things I was interested in. And over the MANY years, I've narrowed down the things I love to do.

I'm going to guess that you don't care about becoming a CPA. And that's fine.
You say that you've been on YouTube learning about Selling, Marketing, and Coding - but what projects have you started with this knowledge?

Currently I'm a digital marketing manager for a SaaS company.
I had my little skills when I applied and got the job, thinking I knew what marketing was. And come to find out, I had no fuqin' clue!

And it's because I had not experimented ENOUGH with the craft.
I didn't have enough projects and mentors under my belt to REALLY understand what I was doing.
Now that I do, it's a WHOLE NEW WORLD! And there's so much more to learn. It's an exciting time for me!
And even in the marketing space, I'm narrowing down what I do and don't like to do.

So I can't stress enough, if you want ACTUAL experience in a subject - start a project and finish it. Start doing.
Write down your learnings. Reach out to forums and communities. Find an expert in the field, build a relationship with them, and intern with them.
All of the above.

But just go out there - read, learn, and then go DO!

And as far as the other experiences you want? Go test them all out first before you buy.

Want the house in Malibu? AirBnB it. You might find that you only want to visit Malibu vs. living there.
You want the Ferrari? Rent it for a day. You might find that it handles "choppy" to your tastes and a Spyder will suit you better.
Exotic Luxury Holidays? Do a mini-holiday, for 1 or 2 days. You may find that you're bored and you're more of an adventure guy that drives ATVs through the dessert and goes glacier climbing in New Zealand.

I promise all of this is attainable, but you just have to be willing to put yourself out there and DO - no matter what the naysayers are saying.

Get yourself a job where you're living pretty comfortably (pay your bills and all of that). But it also gives you the time, after hours and on the weekend, to do you own thing.
And you don't have to tell the world about it, ESPECIALLY if they're the "downers" in your life.

Go out there and find your "wolfpack" that are like you and support what you're doing.
They GET IT.
And groups like that have a tendency to challenge each other with their accomplishments. And they're not stingy on sharing the information on how they did X. It's that "good" push.

Now, pick a YouTube video, or a blog post, or a podcast - that you're interested in, that's talking about a subject you dig.
Listen. Take notes. And then go DO.

You got this. Have fun

 

[MidwestLandlord]

Whenever I see these "how do you deal with the hater's?" threads, I always imagine someone with more energy than a squirrel running around going:

"What do you think of this idea?!"
"What do you think of this idea?!"
"What do you think of this idea?!"
"What do you think of this idea?!"
"What do you think of this idea?!"

Then when someone who means well, but is firmly living in the Script gives "negative" feedback...they get depressed or angry or whatever.

"They don't support me and my dreams!!!!"

Shut up and do it anyway