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How did you overcome your slowlane friends and family?

sangmen

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Hey fellow Fastlaners,

In my introduction thread I mentioned about my life filled with slowlaners. My parents have been working for the past 30 years (still are) and yet, they just started their comfortable "good" life like 2-3 years ago. Till then, they were working. Yes, they had good careers as managerial positions, but again no leverage, trading time for money and no control. They lived a life of fear from their employees and at times they were in helpless situations during the difficult economic times and crisis. And yes, they intend me to follow the similar path, but just a few additions. They did this:
Go to school--->get a job--->move up the corporate ladder--->save money--->do whatever you want after all this.
And this is what they want me to do:
Go to school--->get good grades--->get accepted in a good uni--->get a professional certificate (CPA)--->Get a job--->gain some experience--->get a MBA--->move up the corporate ladder--->make money (supposedly)--->settle in life.
Of these steps, I went to school, not so good grades, accpeted in a decent university and graduated 3 months ago and now I am doing the CPA exam (failed all of them - I spent more time reading self help books, finding ways to add value, researching ways to solve problems than studying), since that way I can live the life according to my slowlane parents. However, I am not keen to take that road, and hence after my graduation I set out to seek the answer for that, and got it in the book Millionaire Fastlane . I have always wanted to be an entrepreneur since I was a kid but that idea was trashed by my parents. Whenever I told my parents that I want to be an entrepreneur their replies would be this:
1) "Being an entrepreneur isn't your thing! You barely talk to people! You don't have business sense! You will fail!"; Yes, I was an introvert back in school but I overcame this and I have joined Toastmaster clubs and in fact won few awards for best speaker as well. I still do have a bit of a problem to initiate a conversation but I still do talk to people and build relationships.
2) "Studies first. Do whatever you want after you have completed your studies and gaining several years of work experience!"; Gaining experience is good in a way, that way we can identify the problems or solutions that people need. I worked in a small restaurant for a while and I identified a need, which I am working on now.
3) "House in Malibu? A Ferrari? Exotic luxury holidays? These things can't be bought easily. If you study, secure a good job, reach a good position, then these dreams can be fulfilled. But first study!"; If I follow this plan then the Ferrari and house in Malibu will remain a dream and I will have to give up on it because of the limited stream of income from my employment of which I have 0 control.
4) "Do not dream. If you dream, then you will only be dreaming. You wont move forward. Dream of things which are only possible. Not of Ferrari, 2.5 million mansion or Young CEO of a million dollar Company which are not in our caliber"; I still have that dream, strong and tight.
And the killer one which they love-
5) "Now look at X. X went to school, did well there, got a job in JP Morgan Chase as an analyst earning $X thousand a month, and now he is living a comfortable life"
I know they are saying this for my benefit (which they think), but if I do that then I am just following their path, falling in the same trap which the majority of the world are doing - mediocrity. I have never strived for mediocrity, but I am fed in by my parents and other slowlaners that I am indeed a mediocre (thanks to my school performance and so on). I am not going to quit from this dream of mine, but I just want to know how the other fastlane CEOs overcame these obstacles and just continued doing things different from others? I just want to be what I want to be and live the way I want to live and experience it when young. Though I did bad at school, failed my CPA exams and so on doesnt mean I dont like to learn. I in fact learn a lot from YouTube on various aspects like Selling, marketing, coding and so on and I believe that learning need not be in schools.
 
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jason91

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Hey fellow Fastlaners,

In my introduction thread I mentioned about my life filled with slowlaners. My parents have been working for the past 30 years (still are) and yet, they just started their comfortable "good" life like 2-3 years ago. Till then, they were working. Yes, they had good careers as managerial positions, but again no leverage, trading time for money and no control. They lived a life of fear from their employees and at times they were in helpless situations during the difficult economic times and crisis. And yes, they intend me to follow the similar path, but just a few additions. They did this:
Go to school--->get a job--->move up the corporate ladder--->save money--->do whatever you want after all this.
And this is what they want me to do:
Go to school--->get good grades--->get accepted in a good uni--->get a professional certificate (CPA)--->Get a job--->gain some experience--->get a MBA--->move up the corporate ladder--->make money (supposedly)--->settle in life.
Of these steps, I went to school, not so good grades, accpeted in a decent university and graduated 3 months ago and now I am doing the CPA exam (failed all of them - I spent more time reading self help books, finding ways to add value, researching ways to solve problems than studying), since that way I can live the life according to my slowlane parents. However, I am not keen to take that road, and hence after my graduation I set out to seek the answer for that, and got it in the book Millionaire Fastlane . I have always wanted to be an entrepreneur since I was a kid but that idea was trashed by my parents. Whenever I told my parents that I want to be an entrepreneur their replies would be this:
1) "Being an entrepreneur isn't your thing! You barely talk to people! You don't have business sense! You will fail!"; Yes, I was an introvert back in school but I overcame this and I have joined Toastmaster clubs and in fact won few awards for best speaker as well. I still do have a bit of a problem to initiate a conversation but I still do talk to people and build relationships.
2) "Studies first. Do whatever you want after you have completed your studies and gaining several years of work experience!"; Gaining experience is good in a way, that way we can identify the problems or solutions that people need. I worked in a small restaurant for a while and I identified a need, which I am working on now.
3) "House in Malibu? A Ferrari? Exotic luxury holidays? These things can't be bought easily. If you study, secure a good job, reach a good position, then these dreams can be fulfilled. But first study!"; If I follow this plan then the Ferrari and house in Malibu will remain a dream and I will have to give up on it because of the limited stream of income from my employment of which I have 0 control.
4) "Do not dream. If you dream, then you will only be dreaming. You wont move forward. Dream of things which are only possible. Not of Ferrari, 2.5 million mansion or Young CEO of a million dollar Company which are not in our caliber"; I still have that dream, strong and tight.
And the killer one which they love-
5) "Now look at X. X went to school, did well there, got a job in JP Morgan Chase as an analyst earning $X thousand a month, and now he is living a comfortable life"
I know they are saying this for my benefit (which they think), but if I do that then I am just following their path, falling in the same trap which the majority of the world are doing - mediocrity. I have never strived for mediocrity, but I am fed in by my parents and other slowlaners that I am indeed a mediocre (thanks to my school performance and so on). I am not going to quit from this dream of mine, but I just want to know how the other fastlane CEOs overcame these obstacles and just continued doing things different from others? I just want to be what I want to be and live the way I want to live and experience it when young. Though I did bad at school, failed my CPA exams and so on doesnt mean I dont like to learn. I in fact learn a lot from YouTube on various aspects like Selling, marketing, coding and so on and I believe that learning need not be in schools.

Hey dude I can totally relate to your story. My parents have said things along the same lines. But they're a lot more negative about it than your parents seem.

I believe Every person can achieve success in any way - as long as they go after it.

Success is completely tied to how much society values you, but ultimately it's your life (Will you regret your life when you are 70+ years old) - it doesn't mean you HAVE to graduate college and get a job, or drop out and start microsoft. It is your life ultimately.

I've spent 1 year or almost 2 in isolation because I didn't want negative people distracting my vision. I have to say it wasn't a wise choice. What I found is that most of what your parents say is probably true. You are definitely not in a position to accomplish what you want to - THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN'T. It just means there's a lot of work.

I've found that talking and networking with like minded people and people who share similar dreams will boost your motivation. It will FRICKIN MOVE YOU OFF YOUR CHAIR and INTO ACTION. You see how they love what they do and truly dedicate their time to improvement. Most people do not really want to go through what it takes to "make it". I do. I know in my life - I will become a millionaire, most likely billionaire. I know that it doesn't happen in a day - and it doesn't happen from dreams. it happens through things you create with your action (as of right now I am typing on my laptop.).

The start of the journey is tough because you don't know where to walk. You don't know what to say. You don't know who to talk to. You don't know. You don't know. But the one thing you need to know is that adding value to others = success. I have yet to meet someone who has created something numerous people use - that has ended up being poor. It's very rare.

My father originally told me just go make some money - and hes very negative about this whole thing, screaming all that shabang. But he's an employee and doesn't understand when it comes to business - you need to deliver value first - you can't sell things for high price when you don't know what the hell you're even doing. Do something others at higher price / levels aren't willing to do. Your customers will love you for it.

You need to be able to separate truth from perception - if other people are millionaires why can't you be? You can. Doesn't mean you can doing the same things they did. But surely you can if you find the right way.

Anyway I would love to network with ya lol - what do you plan on doing for your first entrepreneurial venture?

I've learned a lot from my F*ckups. I learned that I dreamed too much. Didn't understand to make it real - it needs solid blocks set in reality. Without experience - your blocks are often not the right shape - so sometimes they don't fit into a correct puzzle.

But ultimately - if you want to move ahead - you need to DO something. CREATE something. See how it works. Dreaming doesn't have any feedback from the outside world. Nobody will ever see your vision the same way, unless you put it into solid form and show them.
 

sangmen

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Anyway I would love to network with ya lol - what do you plan on doing for your first entrepreneurial venture?

I am currently working in a small restaurant, and I assessed the need that several small restaurants in my city require a user friendly, cost effective automated system, which can be used for accounting, inventory management, back office and so on. However, my skill set in developing one is limited which is why I am trying to learn online on codecademy website how to code (currently learning javascript and html) and planning to learn python soon. I am planning to make this a web based app, and making it cost effective for the small restaurants and cafes.
 
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Digamma

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Are they forcing you to do anything? Or are you just crying because they are "not supportive"?
 

sangmen

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Are they forcing you to do anything? Or are you just crying because they are "not supportive"?
yeah i am forced to go back to school for an MBA and spend a 6 figure dollar there and also finish off CPA so that I canget a pay slightly higher than what I can get if I go to the workforce now.
 
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Digamma

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yeah i am forced to go back to school for an MBA and spend a 6 figure dollar there and also finish off CPA so that I canget a pay slightly higher than what I can get if I go to the workforce now.
How in the world are you "forced" to go back to school?
 

sangmen

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How in the world are you "forced" to go back to school?

Well, as I mentioned earlier according to them the ONLY way of being successful is to go to school and get a degree, MBA and so on. I was enrolled in the CPA course by my parents and they already paid for it. I told them that's not what I want to do, and I would be wasting my time and their money because of it. However, they weren't convinced and now here I am doing it.
 
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GuestUser113

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AndrewNC

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Your life is a reflection of your actions.

The athlete is where he is as a result of listening to other healthy people who have been down that road before him - eating right and exercising. When his fat friends say "don't be boring - eat McDonald's with me - it's the comforrable thing to do - idk why you eat those disgusting green smoothies" - he had to stand up for what HE knew was the thing HE wanted to do.

"Let's play video games, forget the gym" he chose to say NO and take the actions that led him to his goals.

Or he could listen to the people who ate fast food but then be would only wind up like them...
 

MJ DeMarco

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Well, as I mentioned earlier according to them the ONLY way of being successful is to go to school and get a degree, MBA and so on. I was enrolled in the CPA course by my parents and they already paid for it. I told them that's not what I want to do, and I would be wasting my time and their money because of it. However, they weren't convinced and now here I am doing it.

Wow. So your parents what to live your life for you. Part of being an entrepreneur is making your own decisions. Perhaps this is your first test. I could see your parents wanting you to go to college and paying for it, but forcing you into a particular study? That's downright asinine, and incredibly narrow-minded on their part.

In the end, your parents are forcing you to be a comfortable slave.

The only thing that will change them is results, not talk. Heck, that might not even be enough.
 

Digamma

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Well, as I mentioned earlier according to them the ONLY way of being successful is to go to school and get a degree, MBA and so on. I was enrolled in the CPA course by my parents and they already paid for it. I told them that's not what I want to do, and I would be wasting my time and their money because of it. However, they weren't convinced and now here I am doing it.
So you are not forced, you just are unwilling to go all the way.
Let's be real for a minute: you made a topic here with a bunch of "they say this, they say that" and the only real answer that comes to mind is "so F*cking what". There is no way your family is going to change their minds because of some argument, so you're not going to get any solution from other users here.
You can't have your cake and eat it too. You either do what you want or what others want.
 
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sangmen

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The only thing that will change them is results, not talk. Heck, that might not even be enough.

Yes MJ, that's exactly what I thought. My result should do the talking. For that, as you mentioned in your book "Add value. Serve millions. Nobody cares about my dream of owning a Ferrari, house in Malibu or who I am out to prove wrong." My parents lived a life of fear always. Plus they have narrow minded friends who feed them with this info to make their opinion stay stronger by telling them "make your son do this, its great for him" and so on. My parents also tell me "earning that CPA license can also mean you can start a private practice". That may yield me a good income of maybe 150-200k a year but that's good money not big or legendary money to satisfy my dreams.
 

MJ DeMarco

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That may yield me a good income

Income is irrelevant when you're unhappy and doing shit 5 days a week you can't stand, of course, all in a controlled environment.

Something so simple seems so incomprehensible to Slowlane drones.
 

sangmen

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So you are not forced, you just are unwilling to go all the way.
Let's be real for a minute: you made a topic here with a bunch of "they say this, they say that" and the only real answer that comes to mind is "so F*cking what". There is no way your family is going to change their minds because of some argument, so you're not going to get any solution from other users here.
You can't have your cake and eat it too. You either do what you want or what others want.

My dear friend, I have not asked for a solution up here. I never said anywhere I want a step by step solution on how to convince my parents and other slowlaners in my life. I know its not possible with talks, but only with action.
What I asked here is for a general idea on how everyone here in the fastlane deal with this? That's all.
 
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sangmen

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Income is irrelevant when you're unhappy and doing shit 5 days a week you can't stand, of course, all in a controlled environment.

Something so simple seems so incomprehensible to Slowlane drones.
amazed by the fact that the idea of slowlane idea of success (or slavery) is appreciated by the masses and fastlane ideas only attract very few
 

jason91

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yeah i am forced to go back to school for an MBA and spend a 6 figure dollar there and also finish off CPA so that I canget a pay slightly higher than what I can get if I go to the workforce now.
Hey dude. I understand where you're coming from - BUT

Every entrepreneur has the will to do what they decide to do. You have to develop this - I know it's hard - your parents, you love them. But it's your life. Do you WANT to make millions? Do you WANT to be an employee? What do YOU want to DO? You make your decision, and you make it ABSOLUTE.

My father and mother gave me a berating year of GO BACK TO SCHOOL before. I did not listen. It wasn't easy telling them to F*ck off - (not literally) but it's a choice you have to make at some point in your life.

If you want to be successful - you cannot always do what others want you to do - you must make your choices yourself and be in COMPLETE control of your life. Doesn't mean you can't listen to feedback - if it makes sense, apply it - if it sounds retarded, tell them to shut the F*ck up. (can I curse freely on this forum? lol :))

The only solution is to make your own decision. They cannot trust you if you're not responsible for yourself. You gotta make your choice dude. YOU, not me, not anyone else on this forum can make that choice for you. Just know - whatever you choose to do - you will live with the consequences of your decision.

When I first started my online selling - I made scrap zip zippidy doo - you can guess - they screamed and screamed. Did I flinch? F*ck no. I knew where I was going and I pushed it forward. When I sold my first item - did they give me validation and say good job!? F*ck NO. They said when will you be a millionaire? Go back to school. Same old shit - F*ck no. Am I at the millionaire stage now? F*ck no. Am I going to quit? F*ck no. All of these things you have to say F*ck no to. If things came so easy every other person would be doing it.

Anyway - went into a little personal rant but you get the point - There's some things and people you need to say F*ck no to on your journey to the 1%. Associate and communicate with the 1% - they've been there - they know what you're going through. They'll help you through it as long as you make the absolute decision to commit and go for it.
 
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AgainstAllOdds

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A CPA's not bad. I had a mentor that introduced me to a bunch of successful entrepreneurs. About half of them had CPA's. They started out doing other people's books, learned which businesses were profitable, and then using their ability to calculate ... took market share.

The way I look at it:

A college degree is the equivalent of a high school degree in the past, and an MBA a college degree. It sucks, but that's where society has shifted.

In my opinion, unless your business is already bringing in an income, then getting an education is a decent option.

The same way that you shouldn't quit your slowlane job without a scalable business, you shouldn't give up on increasing your slowlane income before going fastlane. Education can be the "fastlane" of the "slowlane".

With all that said, I more than welcome other perspectives.
 

Damage Inc.

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Income is irrelevant when you're unhappy and doing shit 5 days a week you can't stand, of course, all in a controlled environment.

Something so simple seems so incomprehensible to Slowlane drones.

So true. When I left my job I gave some thought to how I might handle an offer to stay. At that point I was so fed up that even if my boss offered to double my pay I would still have left. It wasn't what I wanted out of life, period. Fortunately it was easy, he didn't offer me another penny to stay.
 
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There is no way to resist your parents mindset other then standing up for what you want, which causes drama, and there is no easy way in life. You can either following their advice, their friends advice, and go down that road, hate it, and complain about it, or become self-reliant, independent, and get past your fears. Avoiding conflict means you're pleasing your parents, and giving up control of your life. Doing things so you don't rock the boat.

And M.J.'s right, you are allowing them to control your life, and hate to tell you, but you will get sick of it at some point, and wish twenty years later, you didn't stand up for yourself, and make your own choices. You either allow them to dictate your life and choose for you, or create your life.

They're not the one's that will change, you have to be the one to change, and they won't like your choices, because they have a different mindset. You can waste a lot of time arguing with people, but most of the time, they're right and you're wrong, even if they're wrong. And they usually know everything. And usually have good intentions and want you to succeed.

Making your own choices is difficult, but the other route is, being ticked and complaining about it all, but not doing anything about it, and taking action. Which really amounts to playing the victim. I want a life, but I can't have because mom and dad say so. They will be running your life until the day you die if you don't start living it for yourself.
 

marklov

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This caused me some grief in the past with my parents.
But I learned that everyone has ideals.
You believe in yours and they have their own.
Focus on yours so you can reject theirs simple.

Looking back I wished I had stayed in college
I would atleast have had a good job to fund my business and
maybe test some systems on my boss's company before I tried them in the wilderness.

Instead I found myself shoveling crap in a landfill/ditch, sure I had a place to stay
but I sure wished I was in a nice office with AC.

Be respectful to your peeps whatever "slowlane" job they did
provided you with a home to live in .
My father worked a blue collar job and worked hard 8 ( yes) days a week
and I applied that work ethic to many of the things I do now.
SO there are lessons to be learned even from those in the "slowlane".
 

sangmen

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Be respectful to your peeps whatever "slowlane" job they did
provided you with a home to live in .
My father worked a blue collar job and worked hard 8 ( yes) days a week
and I applied that work ethic to many of the things I do now.
SO there are lessons to be learned even from those in the "slowlane".

Of course I respect them, they helped me stay in their house, they educated me, brought me up despite the hardships they faced. But, I do not want to remain an employee in my life, because my dad has been changing jobs since the past 10 years or so; he has been losing his jobs frequently and getting new ones. As MJ mentioned in the book, the commandment of control is 0 here. My dad was a hitchhiker and his employer was the driver. He took full control and decided that my dad wont be in his company anymore. Furthermore, I believe that if you are good at something, and if everyone else thinks that you are good at it and if that is useful for society then why would I work for someone else? Cant I work for myself and provide the same benefit to more people?
 
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Damage Inc.

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Furthermore, I believe that if you are good at something, and if everyone else thinks that you are good at it and if that is useful for society then why would I work for someone else? Cant I work for myself and provide the same benefit to more people?

Yes, exactly.
 

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Simply put, just ignore and execute.

I'm forced to go to uni under the same circumstance as you too. Here's the thing.. you can still launch your company and show a result. Heck, I did it. I've gained solid traction with my start up while studying part time.

"Don't let the noise of others drown out YOUR inner voice. Don't be trapped by dogma, which is living in the results of other people's thinking."

- Steve Jobs
 

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If you are old enough (an adult) and have a job. Move out and support yourself (against your parents wishes if you have to). Being completely independent, and having the power to do what you want with your life is the biggest step that NEEDS to be taken (especially in your case @sangmen ). What your parents want you to take, is a one way ticket to Student Loans and Mediocrity.

-Learn to accept that the path you're taking is a lonely road seldom crossed, and that 99% of people do not understand anything about it. Accept that your parents can not comprehend/understand the Fastlane mentality, ignore them, and carve your own path radically different from everyone else.

-Do not tolerate negative people; don't hang around them (this includes anyone you thought were your friends; friends do not poison eachother with negativity). Negative people do not go places (good places, anyway), and you do not need any of their unsuccessful 'qualities' rubbing off on you. I personally stopped hanging out with people almost completely. I decided that I did not want to spend my valuable dollars on overpriced beer, blowing paychecks getting drunk with friends who would not hang out with eachother outside of drinking anyway. I'll hang with one, maybe two close friends I've known for a very long time, and that is even a rarity (as they also have their own s**t going on too; they are positive friends working on their own success stories whether it be fastlane or not).

-Ask yourself every single day, "What did I do today?" If you answer is anything but "I busted my a$$ executing a business", then you're not doing enough.

-Lastly, if you're going to spend spare time typing/posting/reading on ANY website (free time is something you should have very little of by the way), do it on this one. We all here to help and get help. Fill your head with knowledge you'll need to succeed, and not 4 year old memes floating around Facebook.

Everyone here wants to be positive and successful. Coming here will only bring you positivity, insight, inspiration, and encouragement. We are your new friends. Be around the mentality you want to become.
 
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Silver Silk

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Hey dude I can totally relate to your story. My parents have said things along the same lines. But they're a lot more negative about it than your parents seem.

I believe Every person can achieve success in any way - as long as they go after it.

Success is completely tied to how much society values you, but ultimately it's your life (Will you regret your life when you are 70+ years old) - it doesn't mean you HAVE to graduate college and get a job, or drop out and start microsoft. It is your life ultimately.

I've spent 1 year or almost 2 in isolation because I didn't want negative people distracting my vision. I have to say it wasn't a wise choice. What I found is that most of what your parents say is probably true. You are definitely not in a position to accomplish what you want to - THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN'T. It just means there's a lot of work.

I've found that talking and networking with like minded people and people who share similar dreams will boost your motivation. It will FRICKIN MOVE YOU OFF YOUR CHAIR and INTO ACTION. You see how they love what they do and truly dedicate their time to improvement. Most people do not really want to go through what it takes to "make it". I do. I know in my life - I will become a millionaire, most likely billionaire. I know that it doesn't happen in a day - and it doesn't happen from dreams. it happens through things you create with your action (as of right now I am typing on my laptop.).

The start of the journey is tough because you don't know where to walk. You don't know what to say. You don't know who to talk to. You don't know. You don't know. But the one thing you need to know is that adding value to others = success. I have yet to meet someone who has created something numerous people use - that has ended up being poor. It's very rare.

My father originally told me just go make some money - and hes very negative about this whole thing, screaming all that shabang. But he's an employee and doesn't understand when it comes to business - you need to deliver value first - you can't sell things for high price when you don't know what the hell you're even doing. Do something others at higher price / levels aren't willing to do. Your customers will love you for it.

You need to be able to separate truth from perception - if other people are millionaires why can't you be? You can. Doesn't mean you can doing the same things they did. But surely you can if you find the right way.

Anyway I would love to network with ya lol - what do you plan on doing for your first entrepreneurial venture?

I've learned a lot from my F*ckups. I learned that I dreamed too much. Didn't understand to make it real - it needs solid blocks set in reality. Without experience - your blocks are often not the right shape - so sometimes they don't fit into a correct puzzle.

But ultimately - if you want to move ahead - you need to DO something. CREATE something. See how it works. Dreaming doesn't have any feedback from the outside world. Nobody will ever see your vision the same way, unless you put it into solid form and show them.
You said you spent nearly 2 years in isolation because you didn't want negative influences then proceeded to conclude it wasn't a wise choice. why is that because im considering something similar, once I move out nobody (slowlaners/sidewalkers including friends & family) will probably see me unless its necessary. I too busy & focused on networking with similar minded people & working on my business.
I see this post is from 2015 so could you give a little update on how things are now too. Thanks mate
 

MoneyDoc

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The only thing that will change them is results, not talk. Heck, that might not even be enough.
This couldn't be more accurate. One of my businesses is currently making a bit more than a family doctors monthly salary in Canada and this is the response I got from my Uncle:

"Make sure you continue your studies. Get into med school. This is just a side thing and won't last long. You can continue your business on the side when you're a doctor and you have job security. You're business could stop tomorrow, then what?"

Then I was reminded of the SCRIPT. The SCRIPT is so deeply engraved in some people that it's literally impossible for them to break free.
 

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