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**This thread will change the way you think.**

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biophase

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ya know, I have interacted with, replied to, and liked posts by @biophase sooo many times and I don't think he has ever liked or replied back once, ever.
:rofl::rofl::rofl:
I'm pretty sure I've replied to your posts in the past. :)

I actually had to go look to see which post you replied to on this thread. Many times scroll through and just read the posts and don't even look at who wrote it. I was going to reply to your pic about the cars, but I was going to search online to find a living room example first. The pic you post I thought was weird that you would put 2 cars in a bar like that? Kind of defeats the purpose of showcasing a car when there's another one stacked one foot above it!

The liking part I need to do more. I noticed that I hardly like any posts I read. My like to post ratio is probably really sad. Is there anyway to see how many likes you've given in your account?
 
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thechosen1

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I'm pretty sure I've replied to your posts in the past. :)

I actually had to go look to see which post you replied to on this thread. Many times scroll through and just read the posts and don't even look at who wrote it. I was going to reply to your pic about the cars, but I was going to search online to find a living room example first. The pic you post I thought was weird that you would put 2 cars in a bar like that? Kind of defeats the purpose of showcasing a car when there's another one stacked one foot above it!

The liking part I need to do more. I noticed that I hardly like any posts I read. My like to post ratio is probably really sad. Is there anyway to see how many likes you've given in your account?
I’m just trolling you man. Yeah it is weird right? NOLA is such a cool place though!

Lol sorry, just a joke
 

Antifragile

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But really, I noticed about a year ago that I hardly ever like any posts on here!
If you don’t like 99.9% of all posts here, why are you still here?
 
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Antifragile

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Not sure if you’re being sarcastic. But I do realize my post wasn’t clear. I meant that I rarely click the like button on posts that I read here.

Yes I was. Hoping a little light humour would get you to tap that “like” on my post, alas… no such luck. :hilarious:
 

thechosen1

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Not sure if you’re being sarcastic. But I do realize my post wasn’t clear. I meant that I rarely click the like button on posts that I read here.
Off topic but something I think about is that giving out likes is free, so I try to be as generous/liberal with them as possible.

I want to spread my friendliness and gratitude to as many people as possible. It’s like buying friends gifts but without spending any money.
 
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Antifragile

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I want to spread my friendliness and gratitude to as many people as possible

This is very much on topic. Gratitude is a way of thinking, and it gives us lasting joy and happiness.

Here is my Sunday gratitude:
1. To @Kak for his relentless reminder and enthusiasm to “think big, then think BIGGER”. It serves me well in business.
2. @MTF for his discomfort club newsletter. It made me double my workouts when I felt like I should be resting. It’s changing the way I think about fatigue.

To the readers - thanks for your replies! Who are you grateful for today (on the forum)? List two members and tell us why.
 

biophase

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Yes I was. Hoping a little light humour would get you to tap that “like” on my post, alas… no such luck. :hilarious:
Lol it didn’t even cross my mind to interpret it that way. I just never even think about the like buttons. Also it could have been that it was 12am when I read your post.
 

Andy Black

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giving out likes is free, so I try to be as generous/liberal with them as possible.
Likewise.

It can help people realise others are reading and appreciate the time and effort they put into posting. A lot of people are worried about posting, and it’s quite easy to tap the Like button to encourage them.

A few people follow me too, so seeing my Likes in their News Feed something might bring some eyeballs to a post too. I don’t know if this actually has any effect, but I know I check out posts MJ Likes.

It also means I don’t go too overboard with the Likes in case it spams people’s News Feeds.
 
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Andy Black

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**On Creativity. **​


Being creative isn't some luxury that's only available when you've hit your "exit $ number" and can now afford to do it. It's just as natural for humans as walking, eating or thinking. It's what made our species survive!

A typical new member starts a thread on this forum along the lines of "I've read the book, want to quit my job, have a few months of savings. What should I do next 30 days to generate $X because I don't want to be slow lane anymore." Typical, boring and "me, me, me" type of post. Irony here is an entrepreneur is an inventor, a problem solver - a creative human being.

To live like the 1% you can't behave like 99%.

How to become more creative?
  • Learn to do things without judgment, similar to how in mediation you observe your thoughts and feelings.
  • Stop trying to navigate the forest in pitch black night. Your desire to make changes to your life comes when you are most consumed by emotion, but that's the worst time to do so. Do not make decisions when you are upset or riding a high. Let yourself come back down to neutral first. Then think. Think on a piece of paper.
  • Ask yourself better questions. Are you wanting to have better things before becoming a better you? Maybe it's time to change your objectives.

Add to the list folks! What makes you more creative?
I wrote this a week or so ago:

Things I think about (in no particular order):

1) Is it really true? (e.g. Do we really NEED a website?)

2) Has someone somewhere done it without X?

3) What would we do if we weren’t allowed X? (e.g. How would you get new business without a website?)

4) Start as close to the end as possible.

5) Dump it, defer it, delegate it, do it. (The most important is dumping it.)

6) Is this something you can’t NOT do?

7) What would Richard Branson do?

8) What’s The ONE Thing that if completed would make everything else redundant or easier to do?
 

fosterzz

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One resource that really helped me (after doing it enough times for it to stick), was tony robbins personal power II which I think a few people here and even Tim Ferris have brought up.

There's quite a few good distinctions, like the power of focus, watching your energy and state, but one that really sunk deep and started to change me was reframing downturns and "failures" in life as challenges and checkpoints.

It's a cliche, but for anything you do, it's something you chose to do, and that thing gave you feedback. If you're smart, if you refuse to get down, you can listen to and observe what you're getting from your actions, and then change what you're doing until you get your desired outcome.

One I'm facing right now is with cold calls.
The first thought that popped to my mind after my 9th catty receptionist was "Damn, am I only going to run into receptionists? I'm NEVER going to be able to make this business work :( "
Before I could even finish the frowny face emote in my mind, I caught myself, and I changed it.
Before I even knew it, that line transformed into:
"Damn, I'm really running into a lot of receptionists, what are some good ways or techniques to win them to my side and get in touch with decision makers, reliably?
If I can do just that, I'll be swimming in sales calls."

It sounds corny, sounded corny to me the first few times I encountered it, but when I had a hard month awhile back and was sick and tired of being sick tired, I decided to just give it a go and the rest is history.
what is the rest? did you grow a business out of it?
 

Vinz

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You will never regret creating something, or taking action.

Something I want to keep in mind myself.
 
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Antifragile

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# On Discomfort
  • Your brain cannot differentiate "good" from "bad". We only understand "comfortable" and "uncomfortable". This is why we often do things that are bad for us but make us comfortable. Binge watching useless tv series anyone? Discomfort, is typically is what makes us grow and is good for us.
  • What you want is different from what you think you want. You think you want better versions of what you know. But future is *unknown*. Discomfort => Growth => Discovery of new and unknown. Focus on growth instead of outcome, because what you want is 10x better than you can imagine.
  • Discomfort can become comfortable through repetition. That's when you aren't growing anymore. Feel that way at the gym? Try running. Got good at running? Try writing! Familiar discomfort = comfort.
  • Life is transitory and that's why there is no such thing as true security. Things we own can be lost (money, jobs, assets). Our bodies can get ill. Nothing is truly "secure". It is an uncomfortable truth and you should accept it.
  • There is no such thing as true comfort. There is only what feels safe, an idea but nothing more. Best performing people accept this and find happiness in discomfort through growth.
  • Life success is about trying, it is not about being certain. Certainty is an illusion based on your past, and the future has new things in store for you. Instead of seeking certainty, commit to making the best of whatever happens.
  • Most people do not change until discomfort over status quo is bigger than discomfort over change. Problem is, this can take a long time to manifest. Instead, take control and seek out best ways to grow.

Partly inspired by @MTF discomfort club.
 

MTF

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Thanks for tagging me, @Antifragile. I'm glad to hear I could inspire your thoughts.

Life is transitory and that's why there is no such thing as true security. Things we own can be lost (money, jobs, assets). Our bodies can get ill. Nothing is truly "secure". It is an uncomfortable truth and you should accept it.

This may sound like an exaggeration but I truly think that 99% of people just don't accept that they're going to die. Meditating on this truth daily is one of the most powerful exercises to internalize the fact that life never offers true security. By definition, as Jocko recently tweeted, all options lead to death.
 

Antifragile

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Thanks for tagging me, @Antifragile. I'm glad to hear I could inspire your thoughts.



This may sound like an exaggeration but I truly think that 99% of people just don't accept that they're going to die. Meditating on this truth daily is one of the most powerful exercises to internalize the fact that life never offers true security. By definition, as Jocko recently tweeted, all options lead to death.

I’m a happy person. Some would even call me an optimist.

And I think about death sometimes. It’s especially useful for me when making big life decisions. I ask myself “on my deathbed what will I regret more?” And make a decision. That’s how I decided to start my business.

Similarly, in the moments of extreme stress, when I feel like pressure of life is getting too much and affecting me. I think about end of life and how current bad situation isn’t as bad, after all. And that in the end, few things will really matter enough. I tell myself to let go and just do the best I can with the situation.

I’m not sure about doing it daily, that sounds like too much (for me). But overall I agree that this is one of the most powerful tools to reframe my mind from negative to positive. It’s also the most powerful tool I know to help me make better life (long term) decisions.
 
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MTF

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I’m a happy person. Some would even call me an optimist.

And I think about death sometimes. It’s especially useful for me when making big life decisions. I ask myself “on my deathbed what will I regret more?” And make a decision. That’s how I decided to start my business.

Similarly, in the moments of extreme stress, when I feel like pressure of life is getting too much and affecting me. I think about end of life and how current bad situation isn’t as bad, after all. And that in the end, few things will really matter enough. I tell myself to let go and just do the best I can with the situation.

I’m not sure about doing it daily, that sounds like too much (for me). But overall I agree that this is one of the most powerful tools to reframe my mind from negative to positive. It’s also the most powerful tool I know to help me make better life (long term) decisions.

Made me remember these quotes from Rickson Gracie's book:

One day I remembered something that my dad always used to say: “Nothing can be a hundred percent positive or a hundred percent negative.” I spent a long time trying to find something positive that I could take away from this tragedy. After much meditation, I realized that I had never really valued time. I thought that I controlled time and could put things off, like talking to my son, until later. After Rockson’s departure, I understood that there is no tomorrow, because life can change forever in the blink of an eye. I needed to do my best every day because it might be my last. I no longer had the luxury of wasted time!

For the first time in many years, I felt a renewed sense of purpose. Now I wanted everything in my life—a conversation with a stranger, a new project, or a Jiu Jitsu seminar—to have meaning. I refused to waste time on things that I did not value, and I left other people’s expectations behind.

The Japanese have an expression, ichi-go ichi-e, which roughly translates to “once in a lifetime.” It could refer to a gathering of friends, a special meal, an epic day of surf, but the idea is to savor that occasion, because it will never come again. I share this view and believe that if you see every moment in life as a unique opportunity, you live with much more intensity and precision because you are using 100 percent of your energy, your voice, and your senses. It is always important to remember that. For example, if I were driving to the airport to fly to Japan and my daughter Kauan called and said, “Dad! I need to talk to you!” the old Rickson would have said, “Honey, I’ll call you once I land in Japan.” Today, I would pull over, park the car, and give her as much time as she needed. What if I miss the plane? F*ck the plane! There is always another flight, but I don’t want to ever regret not taking my daughter’s call.
 

Antifragile

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OMG, you literally quoted my favorite part of the book! When he decides to prioritize talking to his kid over potentially missing a flight, that’s a paradigm shift. It’s a reminder for me as a parent. He lost his son to gain that perspective, but we don’t have to. We can learn from Rickson directly.

This hit me hard. I loved it and promised myself to act this way with my kid. And I will.
 

ErikGH

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Here are notes on things that aren't obvious but will change the way you think about life. An eclectic collection.​


  • Your habits are what drives your mood, and mood is a filter through which you experience life. Happiness is not some fantom state of joy, it is how your mood filters experiences of life.
  • The past is not some unchangeable reality, like a video recording. Your perception of the past changes as you change, and so do your memories. The past you recall is not the same as how you will perceive those same events in the future.
  • You don't even know what will make you happy. We act and make plans (like buying a Lambo) but those are a mere reflection of the best version of the past or now. We have no idea what other available outcomes are in the future. We can't picture things that do not yet exist. And since we can't predict the future outcome of our actions, we can only focus on now. Don't settle on the best version of the past, the future can be even better.
  • Is fear a sign you are on the wrong path? No, quite the opposite. This hits close to home for all entrepreneurs. Fear tells you that you are on the right path because you are moving towards something you want and like. The sign for being on a bad path is indifference. Next time you are fearful, remember you are moving towards something you like.
  • Your thoughts may actually not be your own. Social conditioning can make us believe things that weren't our thoughts or beliefs in the first place. Examine your beliefs and reflect on their origin, then decide.
  • No emotion is permanent, your anger, happiness, joy - all of it. I hope you've developed enough awareness just by being alive to know that even worst things that happened, will pass. Remember this quote: "this too shall pass".


What can you add to this thread? What surprising mind twist did you learn?
I learned that my outside world was just a reflection of my inside world. I kept looking for happiness and fulfillment somewhere "Out There". When I started doing more inner work everything changed.
 
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Antifragile

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**On Self Esteem.**

Self esteem is not how much you think people approve of you or think highly of you. Self esteem is how much confidence you have in yourself to manage life, with all its ups and downs. It is internal and eliminated the need to focus on how we are superior to others.

Think of it as two things:
1. The sense of confidence to deal with life's challenges
2. Feeling worthy of being happy

And how do you get there?

Acceptance
See yourself and your own reality as it is, without judgement or embellishments. Simple: own your shit and be ok with it.

Responsibility
There is no one else who'll do it for you. It may not be your fault, but it is still your problem to solve. Own it, do it.

Assertiveness
Stand up for yourself but don't be defensive. Be confident.

Integrity
Have a moral compass, hold yourself to your own standard and don't lower the bar. You and only you are accountable for your actions, develop a code and live by it.

(concepts above were borrowed from The Psychology of Self-Esteem by Nathaniel Branden but liberally paraphrased)

What else can you add to the list above to build real self-esteem?
 

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