The "Astonishing Secrets" Thread

[FloK]

Good stuff. It truly is about the mindset. Even after you've been successful for a while. I made the mistake of starting to look at the bottom line and getting lazy. You can't stop hustling to you get to the top of the mountain.

 

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[amp0193]

Be grateful for all of those challenges. The a**hole boss, the bitch that betrayed you after you gave her your heart, the “friends” who took advantage of you…they were all there to help you become a stronger version of yourself.

You're drunken ramblings are making a difference here. This quote, cognitively, logically, I get it, and I say it to myself frequently. But my mindset isn't all the way there. It likes to bring up the past. It often prefers to wonder "What if?" instead of "What's next?".

Tomorrow morning, 5:30 am, before I ride my 30-year old bicycle nine miles to my day job, I'm writing down three things I'm grateful for. Maybe I'll start with Two legs and a Bicycle. I'm going to be positive whether I like it or not. And when I get home... ice cream.

This shit changes now.

 

[IceCreamKid]

You're drunken ramblings are making a difference here. This quote, cognitively, logically, I get it, and I say it to myself frequently. But my mindset isn't all the way there. It likes to bring up the past. It often prefers to wonder "What if?" instead of "What's next?".

Tomorrow morning, 5:30 am, before I ride my 30-year old bicycle nine miles to my day job, I'm writing down three things I'm grateful for. Maybe I'll start with Two legs and a Bicycle. I'm going to be positive whether I like it or not. And when I get home... ice cream.

This shit changes now.

My brother, I certainly feel for you and am sensing some emotional pain underneath your words. We need to dig deeper and find out exactly why you keep wondering "what if?" because it sounds to me that there are some unresolved issues there that you have not let go of.

Forcing yourself to be positive doesn't work because the deepest part of your heart would know that you're not being authentic with yourself.

When your heart and mind are clear of pain, the gates to emotional and intellectual abundance will be open for you.

It is very difficult to take quality, consistent action on the daily when you're not emotionally, mentally, physically 100%. Don't worry though, we here at the ice cream shop are here to help you and re-wire your mindset.

I usually advise to get drunk and eat ice cream, but this is one situation where you should take some serious reflection time. PM me if you need help moving forward with this.

 

[DeletedUser394]

I was tripping for a second. 'Who is this IceCreamKid' that has such high rep and has been around for 4 years that I've never heard of.

Now I get it lol.

 

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[IceCreamKid]

I was tripping for a second. 'Who is this IceCreamKid' that has such high rep and has been around for 4 years that I've never heard of.

Now I get it lol.

LOL YEA MAN had to change my ID. Alright so I come from an Asian family and some of my relatives decided to do some detective work and found out I've been making ice cream in Candy Land these days. Now they expect me to give them money simply because they're relatives. SHEEE-IT.

CAN SOMEONE PLEASE WRITE A BOOK ABOUT HOW TO DEAL WITH ASIAN PARENTS AND RELATIVES. I HAVE AN IDEA...MAKE IT 50% HILARIOUS AND 50% REAL ADVICE. PEOPLE LIKE CRAZY AND WEIRD. I WILL BUY 100 COPIES AND HAND THEM OUT TO MY ASIAN FRIENDS. I BEG OF YOU.

 

[DeletedUser2]

HOW TO DEAL WITH ASIAN PARENTS AND RELATIVES

Title. NO! its MY life.

"learning to say know more"

Z

 

[Lathan]

CAN SOMEONE PLEASE WRITE A BOOK ABOUT HOW TO DEAL WITH ASIAN PARENTS AND RELATIVES. I WILL BUY 100 COPIES AND HAND THEM OUT TO MY ASIAN FRIENDS. I BEG OF YOU.

There is really a need for this! Yesterday I was reading this thread: https://www.thefastlaneforum.com/community/threads/i-hate-when-people-say-this.48645/#post-309124

and @MJ DeMarco mentioned the same thing

 

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[McCoyH]

Ryan, I havent had a chance to jump in on this thread for a couple days. ive been to busy taking action. I finished Boron Letters about 30 minutes ago. looks like youve got a whole army of people reading the letters right now. goes to show that something of value is worth more and sells better than something without. ill end the post now, going to get some sleep so I can kill it again tomorrow. keep doing what youre doing..... </ end horribly slow phone typing

 

[IceCreamKid]

There is really a need for this! Yesterday I was reading this thread: https://www.thefastlaneforum.com/community/threads/i-hate-when-people-say-this.48645/#post-309124

and @MJ DeMarco mentioned the same thing

It's something I REALLY REALLY struggle with. Asian culture is huge on the whole idea of bringing honor to your family. They want you to be good at some musical instrument, have some cool title before your name i.e. Doctor, Lawyer, PHD, and they want you to basically support the family financially...and if you don't, you're an a**hole with no honor in their eyes. ugh.

Asian parents force their kids to play instruments they don't enjoy just so they can brag about how awesome they are as parents at family parties.

Even Disney understands the issue.

 

[McCoyH]

Your youtube references are always spot on.

 

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[DeletedUser394]

As I become progressively more successful without question I'll be making sure my mother never has to work again. As for the rest of my family, they can take a hike lol.

With regards to the Asian parent expectation.. reminds me of something back in high school. A friend of mine (who happens to be of Chinese descent) struggled quite a bit in school.

Our teacher walked up to him out of the blue one day, leaned in and said (and I quote): "Are you sure you're Asian? Because Asian people are smart and can play instruments."

After the initial shock of the situation we had a good laugh hahaha.

 

[IceCreamKid]

Revolutionary Lessons From This Thread That Can Make You Rich In 30 Days…GUARANTEED!

By golly, I love writing these friggin headlines…copywriting is fun.

Listen up guys the tribe in Candy Land is growing both online in this forum and offline in the real world. I have quite a few members PM’ing me now and I’m helping them remove the mental issues that are sabotaging them. I can't believe I'm doing all of this for free haha. It feels almost like a creepy little movement. If you are having mental blocks that prevent you from taking action and wish to stay private, please PM me with what issues you think you have. I promise I am not trying to sell you anything. We here at the ice cream shop are only here to help others without any attachment to our personal gain. That always has been, and always will be, my commitment to you here.

Believe me, this growth of the tribe was not created by accident and was purely scientific. Would you like to know how to utilize these similar tactics to grow a business? Of course you do.

Put down the vodka and ice cream cone for a minute and let’s get moving so I can learn you some lessons about the hidden psychology behind why the tribe in Candy Land is growing.

1. Focus on your drunk fans who love ice cream. When you focus on the biggest, most passionate fans of your product they will go the extra mile to sing praises about your business. They will post about it on FB, IG. Give them what they want!

2. Lead with unconventional values. The ice cream thread preaches a set of values that are very different from most other threads. We are the drunken maniacs who run business from an angle of loving acceptance for others. We promote happiness and empowerment within others. This thread connects with a deeper part of your heart, which is why some of the members here have become loyal fans and have even PM’d me to discuss mental issues that are holding them back from success.

3. Build community. The ice cream thread is a community within a larger community. You can perhaps build a brand off of this movement of entrepreneurship from an angle of love and acceptance. We’re all about giving the people what they want, therefore they are loyal to us because we are loyal to them!

4. Give fans a name. All of you are a wonderful part of the ice cream shop and I like being able to call you guys my drunken ice cream addicted following. Customers like to have a strong sense of belonging. It creates loyalty to the brand.

5. Give them something to talk about. I purposely gave this thread a crazy theme so that people enjoy it, have fun with it, and learn from it at the same time. It’s much easier to build a business with a following when there’s a sense of fun, excitement, and craziness beneath everything. PEOPLE LIKE CRAZY. EVERYONE IS WEIRD ON SOME LEVEL. Believe it.

Back to work. Above all else, take action guys. Whatever it takes. Do it.

DO NOT BE AFRAID TO MAKE MISTAKES. I CANNOT STRESS THIS ENOUGH. IF YOU ARE NOT MAKING MISTAKES THEN YOU ARE NOT MOVING FAST ENOUGH.

 

[Fant]

Seeing this thread on the MFL facebook page made me log in to my account once again. I haven't been here in over a year! I'm a little ashamed of that. But I just have to say how absolutely brilliant this is. I've been a wantrepreneur for ages now. Looking at it from this new point of view, the one of love/interest for your (potential) customers, might actually be the game changer. My life is so absolutely horrible right now that I've been focussing solely on earning money (or ice cream ) so I can get out of it, but I suppose my total obsession with money could very well be what's actually keeping me from getting it. It's a very egocentric standpoint. I used to be quite loving and compassionate, but I guess I've become a bit more bitter over the years.

Anyway, thanks for sharing your wisdom IceCreamKid (and others)! Guess I'll be spending some more time on these forums again from now on.

 

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[IceCreamKid]

I used to be quite loving and compassionate, but I guess I've become a bit more bitter over the years.

Comments like this are exactly why I created this thread. I got tired of seeing so much pain around me...people living their lives with so much bitterness and hurt. I see so much emptiness, sadness, and pain in their eyes. They pour out their heart and souls to me. Lost kids asking me if they can work for me for free...it hurts me to see so many struggling simply due to mindset. I take care of the people and the people take care of me. Love works, believe it.

I'm glad to have helped you see things from another angle. There are many others who have PM'd me that they are slowly seeing things from a different angle too so don't worry, you are not alone. We're all in this together. It's quite a party of alcoholics, diabetics, and weirdos inside the ice cream shop.

It's ALL about the angles...in business, love, friendships. Everything. The feeling that I get from knowing I have created something of value for the world is far more gratifying than the money.

Stay blessed my friend, and welcome back to the forum. Oh yeah, and take action. On a massive scale.

 

[Chazmania]

Um....wow, awesome post Dude. I can't seem to stop finding killer information around here!

 

[Bigguns50]

I haven't been here in over a year! I'm a little ashamed of that.

Welcome back and ...forget abodit. There was a reason you were away..so..now you're back !

I guess I've become a bit more bitter over the years.

Man...I've been fighting this for a while too. I think a lot of it has come because of the business I used to be in, and the area I live...well...my little neighborhood is sweet...but Detroit is just around the corner...not so sweet. People walk around and look at the ground...don't look someone in the eyes...oh nooo...you might get jacked ! Well, this is what's on people's minds anyway. Not everyone is like this...certainly most though.

Even so...I can't blame my actions/feelings on the environment. Soooo...I decided enough was enough. I started just doing nice things for people. Little things. One neighbor has a bad back, no snow blower, and his wife and 2 young Daughters are always shoveling snow. I decided I'll just do it for them...not all of it...I felt it could be taken the wrong way and make them feel uncomfortable. So I've been doing like 1/2. They caught me outside one day, frozen...laid me down..carried me in and defrosted me (it's been like -25 w/wind chills here), and thanked me profusely.

So for now...one nice thing a day for someone. I feel better already.

 

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[wilddog]

CAN SOMEONE PLEASE WRITE A BOOK ABOUT HOW TO DEAL WITH ASIAN PARENTS AND RELATIVES. I HAVE AN IDEA...MAKE IT 50% HILARIOUS AND 50% REAL ADVICE. PEOPLE LIKE CRAZY AND WEIRD. I WILL BUY 100 COPIES AND HAND THEM OUT TO MY ASIAN FRIENDS. I BEG OF YOU.

You dont even need a book.

Confusius say man with hands in pockets feels lazy, but man with holes in pockets feels nuts.


On topic, you speak about creative angles in business. I've heard it mentioned many times but I'm having trouble visualizing it. Is it a functional twist on a common product? a change in how the item is commonly marketed? product pricing change? Or just a combination of those and more?

 

[pinekoan]

Ryan, I'm floored by your apparent generosity, good will, and success. Your advice (be loving and serve people) is my basic nature, but I let the world beat it out of me and assumed it was a childish stage I had to grow out of in order to succeed. The idea that sincerely serving others and fulfilling their needs can ACTUALLY help people AND create wealth for me is ridiculously exciting and powerful. Its a big awakening. Digesting it the past few days it feels like my brain is re-wiring itself. I've been burned enough times, I'm almost waiting for this thread and website to turn into some giant MLM scheme or something. I hope its as real as it seems so far!

So, really big "thank you" to you and everyone else here who takes time out of their day to lend a helping hand. Thank you.

What I'm fighting now is creating the best ground for success to grow in. Inspiration and action aren't lacking, I'm busy all day everyday, but I'm stretched too thin. Something needs to give, or this startup will never get what it needs. I'm just not sure what to give up!

 

[IceCreamKid]

On topic, you speak about creative angles in business. I've heard it mentioned many times but I'm having trouble visualizing it. Is it a functional twist on a common product? a change in how the item is commonly marketed? product pricing change? Or just a combination of those and more?

Combination of those and more. I like taking common products then listening to what issues the people have with it and create a solution for it. GIVE THE PEOPLE WHAT THEY WANT. It's not about what you want. In Candy Land, those who live in the wealthier zip codes understand this philosophy and have it embedded in their bones. It's about being loving and wanting to solve the needs of others.

Marketing. Yes, I like to twist up the marketing too. Did you know Katy Perry was a struggling artist for a LONG TIME before she angled herself as this weird colorful chick from Candy Land? I actually prefer her music from before she was famous. Anyway, my point is that there is a science behind the insanity, and she has it down pat. THE PEOPLE LIKE CRAZY AND WILD.

Product pricing change. Yup. I offer my product at a cheaper price than competitors, yet mine is better quality. This is a tricky art. Most people think that a cheaper price usually means cheaper quality so if you decide to use my method, you must make a conscious effort to give the customer confidence that although your product is cheaper in price, it has superior quality. How did I accomplish that? Angles.

Wanna know know more about angles? Study Zappos. Billion dollar company in just a few years by changing up the angles like maniacs. Free shipping both ways, 365-day return policy, free upgrades to 2-day shipping if you ask, and so much more. Dude, you want results different from everyone else? You gotta do different stuff.

Take action today and the answers will come sooner than you think. Get the ice cream.

Giving back to the people, one scoop at a time.

 

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[IceCreamKid]

The idea that sincerely serving others and fulfilling their needs can ACTUALLY help people AND create wealth for me is ridiculously exciting and powerful. Its a big awakening.

I suspect that this is one of the big reasons why people don't take action. In their core, they feel like they're annoying people or not helping them which becomes a mental block that prevents them from picking up the phone and making some moves. They feel conflict within themselves.

YO! YOU ARE HELPING PEOPLE. GET THAT IN YOUR SUBCONSCIOUS SO THAT YOU NO LONGER FEEL HESITATION TO TAKE ACTION. When you truly feel that you are helping others, the conflict in the pit of your stomach goes away and picking up the phone becomes easy. Just do it. Get the ice cream. Whatever it takes.

Digesting it the past few days it feels like my brain is re-wiring itself. I've been burned enough times, I'm almost waiting for this thread and website to turn into some giant MLM scheme or something.

Crap...they're catching on to my MLM shennanigans...better squeeze some money out of everybody and sell them some mindless motivational books here before the FTC finally shuts me down.

Wait...this isn't an MLM. MLM's don't teach copywriting haha. They teach how to lie, cheat, and preach false dreams. I joined Amway when I was a teenager btw. Ew.

What I'm fighting now is creating the best ground for success to grow in. Inspiration and action aren't lacking, I'm busy all day everyday, but I'm stretched too thin. Something needs to give, or this startup will never get what it needs. I'm just not sure what to give up!

My friend, you don't want it badly enough. If someone held a gun to your head and said they'll pull the trigger immediately unless you start a business tonight, would you tell them you're busy? Shift your mindset. I want you to have an ice cream shop for yourself, my brother! Come party with me in Candy Land!

 

[RogueInnovation]

Dealing with parents is all about perspective, if they won't let you stay up all night, live in the candy shop instead. If they waggle their finger and tell you to give up the juice, you just realise that it is because they wanna drink too, and you jot it down in the icecream shop journal.
Never react instantaneously with parents, always give yourself leeway, so you can get the icecream ready. They get obsessive when they pop out a little button boy one day, and they think to themselves "I must do as I am bid! Or I have failed the little button and my culture".

Parents put up a good act, that they are patient and sturdy, but the truth is they get so excited about icecream that they suffocate their button child with immediate attention.

Ever get a puppy, and you just surrounded it all the time, and sat around with it, pushing and poking it? Until the puppy was bored and tired, and yet you just can't seem to quit. Then the puppy gets an attitude and walks off. You as their button baby are like dat pup.

They are like, "my puppy! Is a reflection on our culture", because they want him to stop sniffing flowers and walk on the path.
The puppy cannot emplore, only be cuter, or go the other way and be spunkier, until they hire the EVIL Cesar Millan.

All this is so complicated that you have probably forgotten the icecream and are passed out, sipping on a bottle of vodka on the floor, BUT!
When you learn to accept them for the terrible Cesar Millan hiring nutjobs they are, you can be a puppy on a mission!!! Stout, and devout to the purpose of the ever flowing fountain of icecream.

You can scream out like a mini commander in his superhero suit, and they must all obey! For only one rule is higher than trying to impress others, being disarmed by awe and joy.


Our job as buttons, unbeknownst to us is to have the courage, a button truly has to have. To not just tease joy, but to liberate them from the clutches of that icecream fuelled addictive puppy love, and to discover that happiness comes from the inside. And love, comes from not what we sacrifice, but what we stop sacrificing.

The ice cream shop, can't be forgot, so just smile away your troubles and dance to its marshmellow siren song, and get back to da life of tequilla, the floor, and curly swirly icecream creating, and spread that joy.


Pride from parents, comes from within yourself.
Don't think it to be true, know it to be so.

Never rush.
Accept their stupidness as it really is, and give yourself the time you need, and if they won't give it, take it.
As da puppy love, is better with a little mystery syrup on top.


My milan hiring nutjobs, luv the crap out of things. I don't need to see it every day. I already know. Its part of life, to bearhug and crush on "what is ours", but their is so much to love in da great big world too. And it can't ever be forgot, or they without their puppy will act lost, when in truth, wandering the trail, and feeling dirt in your paws, is everything you could ever want!

Sniff, play, chase a butterfly. Hear, them, but know that all love is only felt, if its your choice to accept them as the nutjob, evil millan lovers they are.

 

[IceCreamKid]

I'm just starting out! What Should I Do, IceCreamKid?

Have no fear! We're here to help you out, bro!

Okay guys, some of you have PM'd me with questions about your current project and some are inquiring about an idea they have in the back of their mind.

If you're just starting out with an idea, I invite you to question whether or not your target market has money to pay for your product or service. Why service a bunch of broke people who only want to pay $2 a month for your service when you can serve a bunch of doctors/lawyers/pediatrician/nurses who will pay $100/month for your ice cream?

I would avoid creating a product/service for starving musicians, homeless people, spoken word poetry clubs, etc. I'm not saying it's impossible to create a killer business out of that niche, but I believe there are paths of less resistance.

It is in your best interest to create a business that serves the needs of those who have A LOT of ice cream to pay you with.

It's been a good day so far. Get it in. Take action.

 

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[amp0193]

This guy's the real deal.

We just spoke for an hour about ways I can reverse negative thought processes and limiting beliefs.

I've now got a tangible plan to slowly unravel the intangible things that are holding me back. That baby on the beach picture is how I feel right now.

Thanks dude.

 

[IceCreamKid]

We just spoke for an hour about ways I can reverse negative thought processes and limiting beliefs.

I've now got a tangible plan to slowly unravel the intangible things that are holding me back.

YOU GO GET YOU SOME ICE CREAM, BRO! Thank you for having the courage to reach out to the ice cream shop where we always keep the abundance mindset on lock, take action daily, and give back to the people...one scoop at a time.

 

[throttleforward]

I suspect that this is one of the big reasons why people don't take action. In their core, they feel like they're annoying people or not helping them which becomes a mental block that prevents them from picking up the phone and making some moves. They feel conflict within themselves.
YO! YOU ARE HELPING PEOPLE. GET THAT IN YOUR SUBCONSCIOUS SO THAT YOU NO LONGER FEEL HESITATION TO TAKE ACTION. When you truly feel that you are helping others, the conflict in the pit of your stomach goes away and picking up the phone becomes easy. Just do it. Get the ice cream. Whatever it takes.

This. I can't tell you the thousands of times I've told myself "you're bothering that person...they don't want to talk to you...what if you annoy them?..."

It's all bullshit. Who cares? Especially when you are trying to help them?!

Yes, be strategic. Use selling techniques, don't be a jerk and just come right out asking for a sale, etc. But at the end of the day, you're trying to help them...more specifically, you're trying to find the people who are open to being helped and/or persuaded to accept help. If they don't want it, f'em. If everyone doesn't want it, then you're doing something wrong...adjust and reapproach the problem. Eventually you find the right solution for the right market, and you earn your ice cream (I prefer cookie dough).

 

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[Rock D'Anconia]

You're drunken ramblings are making a difference here. This quote, cognitively, logically, I get it, and I say it to myself frequently. But my mindset isn't all the way there. It likes to bring up the past. It often prefers to wonder "What if?" instead of "What's next?".

Tomorrow morning, 5:30 am, before I ride my 30-year old bicycle nine miles to my day job, I'm writing down three things I'm grateful for. Maybe I'll start with Two legs and a Bicycle. I'm going to be positive whether I like it or not. And when I get home... ice cream.

This shit changes now.

There is a 5-minute journal -easy to use and it has gratitude section for everyday

 

[Atown512]

This is an excellent thread! I've already learned a ton about writing copy just from your posts, and I am now inspired to dive into becoming a master at it. I can see the enormous benefits that it would provide for me, but now I must continue focusing on how to make my business offerings provide enormous value to my customers.

Thank you for doing this! I can FEEL a shift in my attitude from the wisdom you have written. The key is in expecting more from yourself. There is a lot of depth in that last sentence...

 

[Get Right]

Many more thanks ICK.

My small way of helping the shop:

For those struggling with perfecting a product nobody wants versus giving the people what they want:

Watch the movie Big Night.

Dont wait for a dramatic ending, just look at what is happening throughout.

I used to struggle with this, this thread helped me break through.

 

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[IceCreamKid]

I Think I May Have Misled A Bunch of People Here

As I browse the posts in other threads on this forum, I am now seeing a small army of people talking about how excited and liberated they feel to be learning copywriting. They don't talk about anything else...just copywriting. Copywriting is not some magic pill that will automatically make you millions after you copy down a few pages of a sales letter. Stop looking for the event. Believe me, I'm not trying to discourage you here. I'm trying to expand your mind.

Guys, there are 2 types of action in this world: passive action and active action.

Passive action is doing stuff like mindless paperwork, watching movies to get inspired, checking your email every half hour, spending a ridiculous amount of time learning to code a website when you should be hiring a programmer, buying business cards, designing a logo, etc.

Active action is doing stuff that drives customers to buy. Stuff like picking up the phone, talking to people, getting out there and pounding the pavement. You'd be shocked at what having some guts and hard work gets you. It gets you the ice cream. It's what gets you the Lambo so you can finally hang out with the cool kids from high school, gain respect from your neighbors that you secretly hate, and finally gets you those 3 mistresses that you always dreamed about(reverse the scenario for female entrepreneurs please!).

Listen here! I'm glad that all of you are feeling inspired and motivated, but I want more for you. Feeling warm and fuzzy inside doesn't pay the bills. I want you to take ACTIVE ACTION so that not only are you inspired, but you also have buckets of ice cream. In all seriousness, I want you to get rich so that you can give back to society.

This thread has now hit 7k views yet the number of posts are few. Even fewer are taking active action.

Tell me, what are you struggling with? What is preventing you from taking active action? I need to know so that I can tweak my advice to shift your mindset to be able to break through that barrier.

You already have all the tools you need. You got the CENTS formula. You got the copywriting formula to sell your goods with. You got the mindset to get you through the tough times. All you need is commitment to yourself. Why haven't you committed?

I'm too busy. I don't have time. I don't have the discipline. I'm too young. I don't have money. I don't have an idea. I'll never succeed. I'm not pretty enough, tall enough, savvy enough, confident enough. Rich people are greedy. Money is bad.

What's your excuse?

Off to work. Gotta keep the ice cream machines running. Peace out, my drunken ice cream addicted maniacs.

Move fast. Take active action.

 

[Atown512]

I Think I May Have Misled A Bunch of People Here
As I browse the posts in other threads on this forum, I am now seeing a small army of people talking about how excited and liberated they feel to be learning copywriting. They don't talk about anything else...just copywriting. Copywriting is not some magic pill that will automatically make you millions after you copy down a few pages of a sales letter. Stop looking for the event. Believe me, I'm not trying to discourage you here. I'mtrying to expand your mind.

I have decided to learn copywriting not because I think it is some magic pill, but because it will directly improve the businesses I am involved in right now. I am head of sales and marketing at my brewery, and I am now getting involved in online retail.

With that said, here is an area where I feel that I am struggling: I constantly feel like I am being pushed and pulled around by other people. I've been working on saying no, but I am still finding myself in places where I feel like I need to spend time/do things that interfere with my professional goals. How do you deal with this, without destroying relationships? Some of them will never understand the choices I make. I have accepted them for who they are, but I don't feel that they have accepted me.