Spot BS: Post your favorite MLM pitch...

[CaliforniaDan]

Was in a book store, and someone was trying to sell me on an MLM. I said no thanks, and was walking away, and she said, "Well, it isn't for everyone. <hopeful look>" I almost took the bait, then realized, it was bait.

 

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[Stu_Hefner]

 

[smarty]

My favorite pitch ending:

"I’ll see you on the inside…"

every time they say that, I'm either on the ground laughing so hard, or on my bed crying loudly

 

[Griffith]

"Oh he makes 100,000...a month" (pause and emphasis lol)

There's always That One Guy who's just killing it...That One Guy who's probably the reason they got hooked into that MLM.

That One Guy probably never existed.

 

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[Formless]

Just persuaded my friend to not take advantage of the Ground Floor opportunity that was made available to him by a kind gentleman who enjoys watching other young people succeed.

[HASHTAG]#DreamKiller[/HASHTAG]

 

[pickeringmt]

My favorite line:

"So, what would YOU do with an extra $500 a month?"

My favorite answer:

"Your mom."

I still haven't been asked to join

 

[BlokeInProgress]

Twice yesterday I heard:

1. "Its ok whether you join or not, we'll always do what we do and always be here."
2. ACT NOW!!!

 

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[z6Evolved]

I try to stay believable when they ask that.

"What would you buy with an extra $500 a month?"

"Crack. More crack. Why, you holdin?"

They never call me. I don't know why.

 

[jockinbox]

 

[Ronnie]

"Mr XYZ is making 5 figures a week!"

Mr XYZ lives with parents and wears suits fresh off the rack at Sears.

 

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[RHL]

$500 a month

 

[ilrein]

I'm starting a young entrepreneur's club...you'd fit right in!

Just pass along your email...and checkout Alex on our website, the guy sliding on the Benz in his suit. He's just two years older than you!

 

[MJ DeMarco]

Posted to my Facebook Inbox...

Hey MJ! Just wanted to touch base today... I love seeing your positive and motivational posts each day! You are just the kind of person I would love to partner with. I am sure you have seen my posts about my Rodan + Fields business. I started it to help pay off some of that insane debit that has occurred over the past year. I was attracted to R+F because of the many, MANY success stories, both with the product and business. I thought of you because you are so positive and have such a magnetic personality. Can I call you later to tell you more and see if this is a good fit for you?

1. I don't post on FB everyday. In fact, the last status update I made was probably mid to late last year. Strike #1
2. Rodan + Fields is a skin care line. Hmmm, sounds perfect for a middle-age man! Strike #2
3. My positive and magnetic personality? Based on my ZERO posts I've made in the last year? Based on having spoken/conversed with you exactly ZERO times? Strike #3.
4. I wrote a lengthy diatribe in my book crucifying MLM (Re: Direct Sales business) -- again, why the f*ck would I want to join you? And do you truly know anything about me other than being a warm body to fill your lead funnel? Strike #4: Not get back to the bench and try again.

These people are pathetic. And no, I have no clue who this person was who messaged me.

 

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[Dwee]

Come on MJ... we've seen your youtube videos. You don't use any skin care products? Pffffftt.

On a more serious note this kind of stuff is infuriating. I recently had an old coworker reach out to me. "Hey Dwee, it's been awhile. Have you ever thought about trying a wrap?" No, I'm a late twenties male. Oh and did you just imply that I'm fat?

No I haven't tried a wrap, but you can F' right off and you're now blocked. Good riddance!

 

[MitchC]

Posted to my Facebook Inbox...

1. I don't post on FB everyday. In fact, the last status update I made was probably mid to late last year. Strike #1
2. Rodan + Fields is a skin care line. Hmmm, sounds perfect for a middle-age man! Strike #2
3. My positive and magnetic personality? Based on my ZERO posts I've made in the last year? Based on having spoken/conversed with you exactly ZERO times? Strike #3.
4. I wrote a lengthy diatribe in my book crucifying MLM (Re: Direct Sales business) -- again, why the f*ck would I want to join you? And do you truly know anything about me other than being a warm body to fill your lead funnel? Strike #4: Not get back to the bench and try again.

These people are pathetic. And no, I have no clue who this person was who messaged me.

The first and only time I heard about this skin care line was this:

A famous actor posted about his skin cancer operation and said always wear sunscreen. The post come up on the "trending" link in Facebook and I clicked it to see the relevant posts.

People had taken his photo of his operation, and added a photo of their r+f sunscreen crap, then written a post starting about his operation and how he told everyone always wear sunscreen, then proceeded to talk about how they sold sunscreen and it's the best message me for 70% off.

Soo many of these sheep had done this copying each other.

I didn't see a single positive comment on their posts and plenty of hate. I honestly think joining an MLM could ruin your life, or atleast your social life, life as you know it.

 

[mws87]

Posted to my Facebook Inbox...

1. I don't post on FB everyday. In fact, the last status update I made was probably mid to late last year. Strike #1
2. Rodan + Fields is a skin care line. Hmmm, sounds perfect for a middle-age man! Strike #2
3. My positive and magnetic personality? Based on my ZERO posts I've made in the last year? Based on having spoken/conversed with you exactly ZERO times? Strike #3.
4. I wrote a lengthy diatribe in my book crucifying MLM (Re: Direct Sales business) -- again, why the f*ck would I want to join you? And do you truly know anything about me other than being a warm body to fill your lead funnel? Strike #4: Not get back to the bench and try again.

These people are pathetic. And no, I have no clue who this person was who messaged me.

But, MJ! His products are probably the revolutionary compounds found in the Dead Sea! Come on!

At least he didn't ask you for money to rescue the first Nigerian astronaut who's been lost in space since the 90's.

 

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[Dami-B]

I'd like to share with you a "business opportunity"

Also

I don't mind doing a "one on one presentation"

 

[halmerej]

"Nice shoes"
"I own an online company"
"I'm going to a business meeting"

 

[Torty Emmanuel]

One of my former colleagues keeps calling and telling me about this glorious 'business opportunity' that will make me money even while I'm asleep without any initial work and just $600 investment.

Phone rings...conversation starts

Colleague: Emmanuel, What do you think about the business?
Me: What is this biz about? Give me some details about it.
Colleague: Don't you trust me again?
Me: Of course, I trust you (...this guy thinks I'm an idiot).
Colleague: So will you come for our meeting on Saturday?
Me: I don't think so 'cos I have a project I'm working on (...I can't waste my time on your crap).
Colleague: Hmmm, It seems you don't trust me. What do you take me for?
Me: Have you started earning from the 'business'?
Colleague: Just come to the meeting, Bro.

At this point, I was pissed off.

Me: Can you show me your own proofs?!
Colleague: Don't worry, when you come to the meeting you will see for yourself.
Me: Sorry, I can't come.

...I cut off the phone.

If he really has a secret money-printing machine, will he ever bother to know where I live? I don't think so.

 

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[chaz]

This was waaaaay back when I was a young impressionable college student. I was at a local bookstore thumbing through the computer book section, which was basically one shelf at that time (circa 1993), when a guy in a shirt and tie approached me and said, "Excuse me, you look like a pretty smart guy. You ever think about going into business?" I said, "Yea, I've always wanted to get into business. In fact, I'd like to have my own business someday." He then said, "What a coincidence! My friends and I are looking for a business partner. Would you be interested?".. I said, "Of course, what kind of business?" He didn't answer. Instead, he asked, "Do you own a suit?" To which I replied, "Of course, I do." He said, "Great. My friends are having a meeting this Tuesday. You should go to it. There will be others like you that are interested in becoming part of the business." We exchanged numbers and he gave me the time and location of the meeting....... Fast forward a few days and about 45 minutes into the meeting, it was revealed I was in meeting for a well-known MLM company that is famous for selling soap.

Every so often, I think back at the pitch and admire how brilliant it was. It used flattery and the possibility of loss opportunity to get me to the meeting. Honestly, I actually learned from it, even though I never went back to another meeting.

 

[Goldman snacks]

I apply for marketing internship position on monster.

Professional looking website, boasts Fortune 500 clients.

We're innovating, working with Fortune 500 companies and growing fast so we're going to teach you accounting, PR, HR, Marketing, how to grow a business across twelve months.............proceeds to ask people on the street outside the office if they would donate to the Red Cross.

 

[ZF Lee]

Financial freedom. (Financial freedom for the founder of the company, more likely)

Put your family first! (More like putting the family of the top guys first)

Do your own thing. (If I can't control it, it's not mine)

Change people's lives and help them! (More like helping the top guys to get rich and changing their lives for the better?!)

I'm sick and tired of being surrounded by people who go from one MLM to another, desperate for cash. Really pulled the true value of business into the mud.

 

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[lowtek]

 

[BrandonS85]

"I'm a CEO of a company"

 

[TreyAllDay]

"Invest in yourself". I could not BELIEVE at the one a friend asked me to go to (which later was shut down by FCC I believe) how brainwashed these people were - it was like being in a cult. My buddy honestly believed if he let me walk out of there without signing up he was a bad friend.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

 

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[BlakeRVA]

A couple years ago, I was approached by a young man asking for directions. We started chatting and he found out I was passionate about entrepreneurship and he invited me to come sit down with him and discuss a business opportunity. We sit down and he starts explaining all these well-known companies they work with and how easy it was to start making money selling for the company. I was skeptical, but was intrigued by the business model.

I had never heard of MLM at this point so I continued to prod him for information. He gave me somewhat vague answers and would not discuss his personal financial situation (red flag), but I was still interested. After all, when you are in college barely scraping by, the promise of making $1,000 a month working a few hours a week sounds very promising. He told me the company was having a conference and normally the tickets were $185, but because he thought I had potential, he would let me use one of his extra tickets for free. I told him I needed to think about it, but he informed me I needed to make a decision immediately because we needed to leave for the venue. This high pressure decision making tactic worked. So I agreed to go.

When we arrived at the venue, I saw a sea of immigrants and low-income Americans lined up anxiously awaiting to enter the conference building. This was red flag number two. If this business opportunity was so easy and lucrative, why did nobody here appear successful? At this point, my BS alarm is sounding off and I realize this is nothing more than a "get rich quick" scheme that is used to bait low income minorities into signing up. Nevertheless, I ignored my gut and stayed.

Upon entering the conference, I was shocked by how many people showed up. The conference was held in a stadium that could accommodate 20,000 people and it looked as if there wasn't an empty seat in the house. This social proof began to ease my red flags and made me believe this could be the real deal.

It wasn't.

They had a dozen speakers come up to work the crowd up with stereotypical motivational speeches - "you can do it!", "work hard and don't give up!", "don't let people talk you out of this opportunity, you can succeed!", "you can attain freedom just like me!" The crowd would get so worked up and worship every speaker. I felt embarrassed to be there, but stayed because I wanted it to be true. I wanted making money to be as easy as having a few friends.

Before each speaker came up, they had a video play beforehand showing off their material possessions - big houses, swimming pools, happy family, nice cars etc. In one of the videos, I laughed out loud because it was showing off a 2000 BMW 3-series (the conference was in 2014). This is when I finally realized this was all a bogus pyramid scheme. If one of their top guys - a "diamond" - is driving a 2000 BMW and thinks it is worth showing off, then clearly nobody here is making any money.

The conference dragged on for what seemed an eternity. I contemplated leaving a dozen times, but felt the social pressure to stay because of how much the guy spent on my ticket.

Finally, at 12:30 AM the conference let out. We all began filing out of the building into the parking garage and the guy continued to try and sell me on joining the "company". After sitting in standstill traffic in the parking garage for another 30 minutes I had finally had enough and hopped out of the car and decided to walk back to my car.

I didn't make it home that night until 2:30 AM and needless to say, I was irritated to have my Friday night wasted by such nonsense.

I learned three valuable lessons from this experience:
1.) Be relentless about guarding your time. Money and relationships come and go, but the clock is always ticking and you can never earn back wasted hours of your life. Use it wisely. If something doesn't respect your time, cut it off or leave.

2.) Listen to your gut. If you feel something telling you that its too good to be true, it usually is. Trust yourself and don't fall prey to other peoples sales tactics.

3.) Trying to compete with 20,000 other people to sell the same products is going to compete the profit down to zero. If you can't add value, then don't waste your time - you are just chasing money. Aim to enter a business where you can make millions of dollars for your effort, not hundreds of dollars.

 

[workinprogress]

• "Have you read "Rich Dad Poor Dad"? No? Well here have one, read it. I just happen to have a trunk full of extra copies."

I usually don't fall for these sort of pitches, meaning as soon as I get a hint of MLM bs I tell them to get lost. But this guy was clever, we met organically at Starbucks and he talked big game, I thought I had maybe found a valuable, older, mentor type entrepreneur connection. We met for breakfast, talked some, then 2 days later he invited me to meet his 'business partner' and him for lunch. His business partner must have said that shit about Rich Dad, Poor Dad 10 different times. But as soon as he told me that when we met later that day (when they were really gonna lay the pitch on me), my job was to bring one friend with me, that's when I knew I had been had. Dammit. At least I'm not stupid enough to get roped in, all I wasted was my time.

Wtf is a "virtual mall" anyway? Its somehow gonna beat Amazon, while simultaneously making me 100k a year just by getting 3 people signed up for their own "virtual mall".

They didn't even pay for my food after I drove 30 minutes out to meet them. Assholes.
---
This happened like last week too. This thread is very relevant to me right now.

 

[workinprogress]

A couple years ago, I was approached by a young man asking for directions. We started chatting and he found out I was passionate about entrepreneurship and he invited me to come sit down with him and discuss a business opportunity. We sit down and he starts explaining all these well-known companies they work with and how easy it was to start making money selling for the company. I was skeptical, but was intrigued by the business model.

I had never heard of MLM at this point so I continued to prod him for information. He gave me somewhat vague answers and would not discuss his personal financial situation (red flag), but I was still interested. After all, when you are in college barely scraping by, the promise of making $1,000 a month working a few hours a week sounds very promising. He told me the company was having a conference and normally the tickets were $185, but because he thought I had potential, he would let me use one of his extra tickets for free. I told him I needed to think about it, but he informed me I needed to make a decision immediately because we needed to leave for the venue. This high pressure decision making tactic worked. So I agreed to go.

When we arrived at the venue, I saw a sea of immigrants and low-income Americans lined up anxiously awaiting to enter the conference building. This was red flag number two. If this business opportunity was so easy and lucrative, why did nobody here appear successful? At this point, my BS alarm is sounding off and I realize this is nothing more than a "get rich quick" scheme that is used to bait low income minorities into signing up. Nevertheless, I ignored my gut and stayed.

Upon entering the conference, I was shocked by how many people showed up. The conference was held in a stadium that could accommodate 20,000 people and it looked as if there wasn't an empty seat in the house. This social proof began to ease my red flags and made me believe this could be the real deal.

It wasn't.

They had a dozen speakers come up to work the crowd up with stereotypical motivational speeches - "you can do it!", "work hard and don't give up!", "don't let people talk you out of this opportunity, you can succeed!", "you can attain freedom just like me!" The crowd would get so worked up and worship every speaker. I felt embarrassed to be there, but stayed because I wanted it to be true. I wanted making money to be as easy as having a few friends.

Before each speaker came up, they had a video play beforehand showing off their material possessions - big houses, swimming pools, happy family, nice cars etc. In one of the videos, I laughed out loud because it was showing off a 2000 BMW 3-series (the conference was in 2014). This is when I finally realized this was all a bogus pyramid scheme. If one of their top guys - a "diamond" - is driving a 2000 BMW and thinks it is worth showing off, then clearly nobody here is making any money.

The conference dragged on for what seemed an eternity. I contemplated leaving a dozen times, but felt the social pressure to stay because of how much the guy spent on my ticket.

Finally, at 12:30 AM the conference let out. We all began filing out of the building into the parking garage and the guy continued to try and sell me on joining the "company". After sitting in standstill traffic in the parking garage for another 30 minutes I had finally had enough and hopped out of the car and decided to walk back to my car.

I didn't make it home that night until 2:30 AM and needless to say, I was irritated to have my Friday night wasted by such nonsense.

I learned three valuable lessons from this experience:
1.) Be relentless about guarding your time. Money and relationships come and go, but the clock is always ticking and you can never earn back wasted hours of your life. Use it wisely. If something doesn't respect your time, cut it off or leave.

2.) Listen to your gut. If you feel something telling you that its too good to be true, it usually is. Trust yourself and don't fall prey to other peoples sales tactics.

3.) Trying to compete with 20,000 other people to sell the same products is going to compete the profit down to zero. If you can't add value, then don't waste your time - you are just chasing money. Aim to enter a business where you can make millions of dollars for your effort, not hundreds of dollars.

I love when people think they are hot shit because they drive a 10 year old, 5 thousand dollar BMW. Enjoy paying out the a$$ on maintenance for your German mistake, attempting to impress other poor people into thinking you're less poor then them.

Just the fact that they placed so much value on what material possessions these guys had attained shows the complete wrong mindset these people have/are instilling in others.

Also I like how your spelled out what you learned at the end. Great post.

 

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[MJ DeMarco]

His business partner must have said that shit about Rich Dad, Poor Dad 10 different times.

Had I raved (lied) about MLM in TMF , I would have sold a hell of lot more books. But I have no regrets. Some express their opinion in authenticity, others tailor their opinion to what will make them the most money.

 

[GuitarManDan]

View: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JyKt8_ZLxUg