Spot BS: Post your favorite MLM pitch...

[TheRegalMachine]

Not sure if this is a MLM line or just a shitty trend in joblistings but
I see the term "rockstar" tossed around for "sales" jobs with "unlimited earning potential".

 

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[Sequential]

There's a local entrepreneur nerworking meetup near me.

Been a couple of times. But it's been completely overrun by MLM peddlers, which has sucked the life out of it. Instead of meeting people, you just get pitched the dream and then they get bewildered when I tell them to cram it.

Funniest part is, a lot of them are pitching the same thing so they get shitty when someone else in the room is also selling the same type of snake oil.

The big new one is a miracle wearable patch you wear all day that "releases vitamins and minerals only when your body needs them".

Being into fitness, naturally I probed...

SYK: "What's in it?"
MLM'er: "Hundreds of vitamins and minerals"
SYK: "Yeah, but what exactly?"
MLM'er: "Just all kinds of vitamins and minerals"
SYK: "OK.... how does it work? I mean, how does your body only know to draw from it when it needs?"
MLM'er: "Ummmmm... I'm not really sure. But, but since I've started wearing it I get up at 5am, I used to drink 3 cups of coffee now I need none, I never get tired, I've seen it change people's lives..."

Best thing was... when we started talking she'd just told me how tired and exhausted she was. Might need another magic sticker, darling.

All the local ones are overrun by that too. They think networking means selling, turning all the meets into tripe!

 

[Bearcorp]

Ive had a couple.

This was early last year, I'd seen via Facebook a new health and wellness MLM kicking around my home state, and the person that actually contacted me about it? My ex-wife! Hadn't spoken properly in 5-6 years but they'd hooked her so much she approached me as I'm a "natural leader" You know the bulls*ts strong in an MLM when people are hitting up exes about it!!

Haven't seen much about it on Facebook anymore so that one obviously didn't take off.


Latest, a mate of a mate knows the business I have and randomly started asking if I was interested in a "cashflow positive income stream" for my business.

"just watch this 10 min video it has all you need to know"

"Can my mate give you a quick 20 min run down over the phone, its proving so popular in your niche you would kill it selling this!"
To be polite I did watch the video so I could find out the company name, didn't take a lot of digging online to find out the previous products the same crew had tried moving and the trouble caused. I spoke to our mutual friend to find out the pitch he was given and it was all the standard lines, my mate investigated them and tried to warn this guy but the brainwashed automatic responses to being questioned were well embedded.

Spotting the signs is great for avoiding people these days!

 

[McFirewavesJr]

"It's so massively huge that Donald Trump will talk about us in his next episode of The Apprentice."

And I'm still waiting from my ACN revolutionary video phone..

 

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[Zhukovic]

I'll bite.

As a recovering MLM/cult member, I was told to say stuff like this;

"We help mentor select individuals in life, including how to step away into early retirement, pay off their debts, travel the world, grow spiritually, and help their marriages."
"I work with some local entrepreneurs who've helped me and my wife step away from our corporate jobs into earlier retirement"

If asked what exactly I did, I was instructed to say;

"Don't get the wrong idea, but I get the feeling what you mean to ask is "how" do I achieve the results that I do? In all honestly, what I do doesn't fit into any 'box' and frankly, most people need to go through an interview and qualification process before they are ready to earn that information."

They would go on to say, and this is true, that we require people to go through an "interview and qualification" process between 6-8 weeks before they could sign up in our MLM. It was all about leadership, mentorship, and weeding out people in an attempt to have members that stayed longer and were more loyal.

In the end, it was really just brainwashing, but dressed up so well in the leadership/mentorship/entrepreneurship crowd that it becomes a cult that keeps people in for years instead of months.

They've been growing like weeds across US and Canada in the past few years.

 

[SYK]

All time doozy of a response this week...

"What do you do?"
"I help entrepreneurs move from active to passive income"
"Huh? How do you that?"
"Kind of like Robert Kiyosaki teaches"
"Yeah but how?"
"We have 3000-4000 products..."
"Ohhh... so it's network marketing?"
"Yeah! You know it?"
"I've got to go now..."

 

[garyjsmith]

"You're already buying these products; you might as well make money back on them."

"I'd like to introduce you to my 'mentor'"

One was able to get me to one of their hotel meetings. Once there, I asked a ton of questions, none of which were answered directly. Five minutes into 'the show,' I knew what it was (and was furious). I had never heard of Amway but I had no interest. They had sat me in the second row from the front and in the middle. I stayed and listened to the BS. When the presenter asked for amounts people were making per month, one woman in the front excitedly said, "$90!" I swear I had a mini FTM

 

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[Bearcorp]

I'll bite.

As a recovering MLM/cult member, I was told to say stuff like this;

"We help mentor select individuals in life, including how to step away into early retirement, pay off their debts, travel the world, grow spiritually, and help their marriages."
"I work with some local entrepreneurs who've helped me and my wife step away from our corporate jobs into earlier retirement"

If asked what exactly I did, I was instructed to say;

"Don't get the wrong idea, but I get the feeling what you mean to ask is "how" do I achieve the results that I do? In all honestly, what I do doesn't fit into any 'box' and frankly, most people need to go through an interview and qualification process before they are ready to earn that information."

They would go on to say, and this is true, that we require people to go through an "interview and qualification" process between 6-8 weeks before they could sign up in our MLM. It was all about leadership, mentorship, and weeding out people in an attempt to have members that stayed longer and were more loyal.

In the end, it was really just brainwashing, but dressed up so well in the leadership/mentorship/entrepreneurship crowd that it becomes a cult that keeps people in for years instead of months.

They've been growing like weeds across US and Canada in the past few years.

The best thing about being involved in the past, is now and in the future you can smell their bullshit a mile away. Im grateful for my couple of experiences in MLM, I learnt a few things about sales and marketing, and I learnt to understand someone genuine reaching out to me as opposed to an MLM pitch.

 

[Zcott]

I have had recent experience with multi level marketers. I had never encountered them before until now.

I went to a business event and unknowingly got trapped by two MLMs.

One drove me around in their Mercedes C Class (kind of funny considering this was in MJ's opening post). Didn't speak to them again after learning it was MLM.

The other one was ambiguous and spoke about mentoring, I only learnt they were an Amway/ World Wide Dream Builders MLM after four meetings with them.

My honest thought is MLM is a way to get rich, there are people out there who make a lot from it. But it's very manipulative and deceitful, claiming they want to help people but really they just want to rip you off. You are not helping anyone or creating any value.

Anyway, lesson learnt I guess.

 

[MJ DeMarco]

claiming they want to help people but really they just want to rip you off.

Most MLM people aren't ripping people off. They genuinely want to help others with their delusions of passive income fortunes. False premises yields false actions, not necessarily deception or ripping people off. And therein lies the problem: These folks actually think they're evangelizing for something new or novel.

 

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[Court]

Most MLM people aren't ripping people off. They genuinely want to help others with their delusions of passive income fortunes. False premises yields false actions, not necessarily deception or ripping people off. And therein lies the problem: These folks actually think they're evangelizing for something new or novel.

Agree with your thought on this... we used to own an MLM company and they see the few amazing, hard working, sales kings/queens and then assume that they can do the same with no work. MLM is a powerful and amazing way to distribute a product, but it does rely on people believing in the opportunity of wealth and freedom via becoming a representative of the company. The few who have done if for years and built followings, or are simply great sales people, do find success. Most just flounder and fail to work at the business or try without good guidance or realistic expectations.

 

[Zcott]

they see the few amazing, hard working, sales kings/queens and then assume that they can do the same with no work. ... Most just flounder and fail to work at the business or try without good guidance or realistic expectations.

This is my view, hence why I say its a way to get rich. I think some view it as a 'get rich without work' and then scream pyramid when it does not work.

Most MLM people aren't ripping people off. They genuinely want to help others with their delusions of passive income fortunes. False premises yields false actions, not necessarily deception or ripping people off. And therein lies the problem: These folks actually think they're evangelizing for something new or novel.

The ripping off part I was alluding to was, from my experience at least, MLM talk to you all excited about helping people then tell you to buy their products and give them money. In my second experience it genuinely felt like they did not care and just wanted you to sign up.

 

[MJ DeMarco]

Any new pitches to report? I'm guessing with CV19 that the recruitment has intensified!

 

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[Deleted50669]

I posted this in the failure forum because every once in awhile we get some guy here trying to pitch us Fastlaners a great revolutionary MLM that is making people tons of money! Some will even show-off their awesome $10K checks and their impressive Mercedes C-Class.

I've learned to spot the funny pitches and this thread will help you SPOT the pitches before you get roped into some low EV pipe dream.

Please post your favorite pitches, phrases, or word combos...

Here are mine:

1) I need 30 people who want to join my "team" -- must be self-starter and motivated!" ("Really? 30? So after 30 you will STOP pitching your shit? Why not 40? Or 100?")

2) It's going to happen with or without you! ("Great, make it happen with out me!")

3) Ground-floor opportunity

4) Be your own boss! ("All while being extremely annoying and losing your friends and family in the process!")

5) Residual income! ("LOL, if everyone is making "residual income" who actually is selling product?!")

Aren't you basically advocating for #4?

 

[MJ DeMarco]

Aren't you basically advocating for #4?

Yes, a real "be your own boss", not a fake one.

 

[Summersalt]

They tell you the products are working. But more interested in selling you the products and not to use them for themselves.

 

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[Zcott]

Any new pitches to report? I'm guessing with CV19 that the recruitment has intensified!

Two people I know have gone into it over the course of lockdown and post about it in a non-pushy way on social media. They appear to utilise the feature where you can ask someone a question through a stories post. They respond to the questions, whether the questions are their own or real I don't know, and they end it by casually asking if people to dm them if they want to know anything else. It's a bit clever, and to their credit they seem to be doing relatively well.

 

[LifeisSuffering]

it's the business of the 21 century ( like the AI and Blockchain are shitty industries)

 

[P789]

This is what I recently heard in a radio program in our province

This (name of distributor) guy has earned $104000 (₱5000000), selling a health drink and the radio announcer said that, this is already passive income per month.

I was into thinking, how much did this guy earned in commissions?

 

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[Deleted74925]

A guy who knew my parents 20 years ago called me the other day.

He said that he spent his career as a physical therapist and now that he was nearing retirement (almost 60) he had decided that it was time to "start making serious money".

He discovered this opportunity for helping people plan for their financial future and build wealth.

His company helped high net worth individuals by selling them life insurance annuity products... or something like that. He was very vague in explaining what services he actually sold. Our conversation ended when he asked me to be on a zoom call -- with my wife present (if I was married) so that I would be ready to make a financial commitment.

 

[sparechange]

Not MLM, but thought it was kind of funny... I was reading TMF in the library and someone came up to me asking me what I'm reading, anyways long story short he ended up being a life coach...

Ah...

 

[Ing]

Not MLM, but thought it was kind of funny... I was reading TMF in the library and someone came up to me asking me what I'm reading, anyways long story short he ended up being a life coach...

Ah...

A friend of mine with a good money met so one, too. Short after he spent/donated all his money And his business to scientlogy church. But they gave him a job!

 

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[Kal-El1998]

I've always laughed at the "work from home" pitches. Can you work from home and earn good money? Yes 100%, lots of people in this forum do it, I'm sure...but they aren't working from home selling vegan products to family and friends and traveling the world.

 

[MJ DeMarco]

He discovered this opportunity for helping people plan for their financial future and build wealth.

Primerica!

 

[P789]

Another one on facebook, YOU CAN GET A SCHOLARSHIP PROGRAM if you buy 8 sets of this product for the price of $100 (₱5,100) and the product itself is garbage. Its because testimonials surfaced on this social media, claiming that their skin became rash as they applied the product.

And their target market was students who were desperate for money as the pandemic ravages our country.

And what is so funny here is that this MLM was featured on the national TV as complaints mount

 

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[KushShah9492]

It's always fishy when something is written in bold & capital.
Example: Lewis Howes' youtube videos have thumbnails like "WATCH THIS TO FIND YOUR PURPOSE"
IF YOU'RE LOST IN LIFE, WATCH THIS.
WATCH THIS TO LIVE LONGER.

Same goes for Jay Shetty's videos.
THE ONLY VIDEO YOU NEED TO WATCH TO IMPROVE YOUR RELATIONSHIPS

Also, ENROLL IN MY COACHING PROGRAM TO CHANGE YOUR LIFE

That's some BS right there.

Feeding on our weaknesses and insecurities= their business.

 

[Simon Angel]

A male nurse that was taking care of me after I was gutted like a fish and almost dead from Crohn's disease decided it would be a good idea to tell me about these "natural pills" that have a "modifiable crystal cell" (whatever that was supposed to mean), and said it could cure my incurable disease.

He was very adamant about their effectiveness and supposed "EU approved" status.

I knew where this was going right from the start, but I humored him anyway and listened to what he had to say.

Apparently, he had already sold quite a few to other patients and was receiving a commission.

After he left, I did a quick Google search and I managed to find a forum where people decided to test these "pills" in a lab - 100% sugar.

And on their website, all I could find was junk science.

As I was leaving the hospital a week later, I thanked the dude for caring for me and told him that this was a dangerous game he'd been playing and that this company is FAR from legitimate, no matter what they told him.

P.S. As concerning as this story may sound, please do be aware that doctors and surgeons do the exact same thing on a regular basis on a much larger scale with drugs way more harmless than a gram of sugar.

 

[MJ DeMarco]

A male nurse that was taking care of me after I was gutted like a fish and almost dead from Crohn's disease decided it would be a good idea to tell me about these "natural pills" that have a "modifiable crystal cell" (whatever that was supposed to mean), and said it could cure my incurable disease.

He was very adamant about their effectiveness and supposed "EU approved" status.

I knew where this was going right from the start, but I humored him anyway and listened to what he had to say.

Apparently, he had already sold quite a few to other patients and was receiving a commission.

After he left, I did a quick Google search and I managed to find a forum where people decided to test these "pills" in a lab - 100% sugar.

And on their website, all I could find was junk science.

As I was leaving the hospital a week later, I thanked the dude for caring for me and told him that this was a dangerous game he'd been playing and that this company is FAR from legitimate, no matter what they told him.

P.S. As concerning as this story may sound, please do be aware that doctors and surgeons do the exact same thing on a regular basis on a much larger scale with drugs way more harmless than a gram of

How has the EU not shut that down? Or that guy getting fired? Subversively Using your health care job to prescribe pills is is the lowest of lows for these MLM wanks.

 

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[Simon Angel]

How has the EU not shut that down? Or that guy getting fired? Subversively Using your health care job to prescribe pills is is the lowest of lows for these MLM wanks.

He had that "dumb and innocent" look about him and always made sure all of the doctors and other medical personnel were out of hearing distance.

This is in the best hospital in Bulgaria, by the way. And the corrupt surgeon (and director) at the hospital lashed out on me and told me I would die after I refused treatment. His whole demeanor was very thug-like.

The guy also said he won't do part two of my surgery and subsequently a young, extremely intelligent surgeon at the age of 29 (part of the big boss' surgical unit) said it wasn't right and promised me that he'll do it personally.

This was in 2018. So what's the status of these three guys now?

MLMale nurse - N/A

Corrupted surgeon - has been leading Bulgaria's C0VlD-19 response and is in bed with our prime minister a.k.a our dictator

Intelligent and promising young surgeon - left the most prestigious hospital shortly after and moved to another city in a mediocre hospital

He said it was in part due to the treatment I received in there for deciding to take my health into my own hands (threatened, berated) and the fact that the big boss wanted him gone, again because of my insubordinance to the healthcare mafia.

He did also mention that the guy really was corrupt and up to no good and that he had proof, which came as no surprise to me. However, he knows that if he were to share this publicly it would mean his life is over.

f*cked up world.