User Power
Value/Post Ratio
324%
- May 20, 2014
- 357
- 1,158
- 31
Hey man,
Here's my 2 cents.
1st Sentence
"We are an established family owned web design company with over 10yrs of experience located in …….."
Business owner's mind: "I have no idea who you are. Who's we? I don't care even if you were in 100 years of business, what do you want from me? I already have a website..."
You need to tune into WII FM! (what's in it for me).
2nd Sentence
"When I came across [company name] I noticed the current website is not responsive (Mobile Friendly), which is very important now days. Google penalizes sites that are not Mobile Friendly."
In the business owners mind, he may be thinking: " Penalized? For what!? Everything seems to be just fine..."
3rd Sentence
"We are able to build a professional site..."
Business owner's mind: Oh God... just another salesman... "No thanks, I already have one!"
"and get it up and running in under three weeks. "
You just pitched him, yet you just met him. He has no idea who you are, and here you are selling him something that in his mind, he "already has". You need to develop trust and rapport first. You need to discover his pain points and build value on top of that by showing him that you can solve his problems. You need to show him why he needs this. He clearly has a website, but why does it need to be redesigned? What's he missing out on?
The site will be mobile friendly and extremely easy for anyone at the company to update and maintain.
Who are you contacting? Most websites now a days are mobile friendly. It's not really much of a differentiator in this day and age. And if your prospects website is not mobile friendly, you clearly haven't shown him through your email pitch the benefit of him having one.
What do they really want?
If you're going to play the fear game, then you sell the benefits (as stated above) and just package it differently. (Look up PSA formula which is popularly used by Dan Kennedy. PSA stands from Problem, Agitation Solution).
Here's an example of what you can say...
"By not having a mobile optimized website, your website is not showing up on Google. It's also not user friendly, meaning people who browse it have a hard getting the information they need. And you know what happens when you're clients are having a hard time using your website? That's right... they leave"
So then think about your prospect...
Here he is spending money on advertising and SEO trying to drive traffic to his web page. Little does he know that people are having a hard time using his website and are leaving it in less than a minute.
What does this all mean to him?
Back to my 2 cents...
Please let me know if you want an obligation fee quote.
Obligation has a negative connotation to it. Think about it... What do you think of when you hear that word?
"I am obligated"
It's seems like a druge. Something that is madatory; that goes against your will. To me it's synonymous to the word "pressure".
And once again, you clearly haven't discovered his pain points. How are you going to send him an "obligation fee quote" if you don't even know what he needs? there's a difference between a $500 project and a $10,000.
"Looking forward hearing from you."
I wouldn't...
You're skipping a couple of steps.
You should really focus on getting that first contact with the person. Not sell him upfront.
Take it one step at a time. Make them reply to your email. Then have a conversation with them / try to get them on the phone. You're jumping straight to the point and I promise you either 2 things will happen by going about this approach.
1. You will not get any replies / sales with that email.
2. If you do, it will probably be from some uninformed, pain in the a$$, low quality client.
Seem's like you're overthinking as well.
Good copy doesn't need to sound like a billy mays infomercial.
There's a reason it's called "direct response" and not "direct sales copywriting"
That first contact can be as simple as:
Hey Bob,
I was just browsing your companies website and noticed a slight flaw. Chances are, if you're customers are anything like me, this problem is making it hard for them to get the information they need. Don't know if someone mentioned this to you before, but I just wanted to reach out to you because some people are impatient and are probably leaving your website to go elsewhere. I figured this is something you may want to know.
If you want, give me a call at _______________ and I'll explain to you how you can fix this (figured by phone is easier).
Best regards,
Thiago Machado
Now...
This message took me 2 minutes to craft. So please, do not bash me for it. But I think it clearly demonstrates that
Now... when Bob calls, even then I won't try to sell him.
I would take a consultative sales approach.
And if Bob WANTS to fix this... "here's some stuff I've done Bob"
* I'd probably even email BOB a white paper with tips & tricks to drive traffic to his website, to make that traffic convert better, and etc.
I'd give BOB value!
So there you go brother...
The "big secret" here is focus on solving problems.
Just my 2 cents.
- Thiago Machado
*P.S.
Here's my 2 cents.
Thiago Machado's 2 Cents!
1st Sentence
"We are an established family owned web design company with over 10yrs of experience located in …….."
Business owner's mind: "I have no idea who you are. Who's we? I don't care even if you were in 100 years of business, what do you want from me? I already have a website..."
You need to tune into WII FM! (what's in it for me).
2nd Sentence
"When I came across [company name] I noticed the current website is not responsive (Mobile Friendly), which is very important now days. Google penalizes sites that are not Mobile Friendly."
In the business owners mind, he may be thinking: " Penalized? For what!? Everything seems to be just fine..."
3rd Sentence
"We are able to build a professional site..."
Business owner's mind: Oh God... just another salesman... "No thanks, I already have one!"
"and get it up and running in under three weeks. "
You just pitched him, yet you just met him. He has no idea who you are, and here you are selling him something that in his mind, he "already has". You need to develop trust and rapport first. You need to discover his pain points and build value on top of that by showing him that you can solve his problems. You need to show him why he needs this. He clearly has a website, but why does it need to be redesigned? What's he missing out on?
The site will be mobile friendly and extremely easy for anyone at the company to update and maintain.
Who are you contacting? Most websites now a days are mobile friendly. It's not really much of a differentiator in this day and age. And if your prospects website is not mobile friendly, you clearly haven't shown him through your email pitch the benefit of him having one.
Want to know "the truth"?
The truth is: a business owner does not care about having a website.
If that's all he cared about, he would purchase a $50 theme on themeforest and get his 15 year old nephew to set it up, not pay you $x,xxxx!
If that's all he cared about, he would purchase a $50 theme on themeforest and get his 15 year old nephew to set it up, not pay you $x,xxxx!
What do they really want?
- A conversion optimized website.
- A website that will give them highly quality leads.
- A website that will boost sales.
- A website that will make them more money!
If you're going to play the fear game, then you sell the benefits (as stated above) and just package it differently. (Look up PSA formula which is popularly used by Dan Kennedy. PSA stands from Problem, Agitation Solution).
Here's an example of what you can say...
"By not having a mobile optimized website, your website is not showing up on Google. It's also not user friendly, meaning people who browse it have a hard getting the information they need. And you know what happens when you're clients are having a hard time using your website? That's right... they leave"
So then think about your prospect...
Here he is spending money on advertising and SEO trying to drive traffic to his web page. Little does he know that people are having a hard time using his website and are leaving it in less than a minute.
What does this all mean to him?
- He's losing money on advertising.
- He's losing out on high quality leads and sales
- (So far he's losing money on both sides).
Back to my 2 cents...
Please let me know if you want an obligation fee quote.
Obligation has a negative connotation to it. Think about it... What do you think of when you hear that word?
"I am obligated"
It's seems like a druge. Something that is madatory; that goes against your will. To me it's synonymous to the word "pressure".
And once again, you clearly haven't discovered his pain points. How are you going to send him an "obligation fee quote" if you don't even know what he needs? there's a difference between a $500 project and a $10,000.
"Looking forward hearing from you."
I wouldn't...
To sum things up...
You're skipping a couple of steps.
You should really focus on getting that first contact with the person. Not sell him upfront.
Take it one step at a time. Make them reply to your email. Then have a conversation with them / try to get them on the phone. You're jumping straight to the point and I promise you either 2 things will happen by going about this approach.
1. You will not get any replies / sales with that email.
2. If you do, it will probably be from some uninformed, pain in the a$$, low quality client.
Seem's like you're overthinking as well.
Good copy doesn't need to sound like a billy mays infomercial.
There's a reason it's called "direct response" and not "direct sales copywriting"
That first contact can be as simple as:
Hey Bob,
I was just browsing your companies website and noticed a slight flaw. Chances are, if you're customers are anything like me, this problem is making it hard for them to get the information they need. Don't know if someone mentioned this to you before, but I just wanted to reach out to you because some people are impatient and are probably leaving your website to go elsewhere. I figured this is something you may want to know.
If you want, give me a call at _______________ and I'll explain to you how you can fix this (figured by phone is easier).
Best regards,
Thiago Machado
Now...
This message took me 2 minutes to craft. So please, do not bash me for it. But I think it clearly demonstrates that
- Bob has a problem
- It's driving his customers away (or even to his competitors)
- I care about Bob because I think he should know about this problem (trust + honest customer feedback)
- I tell Bob to give me a call and I'll walk him through how to fix this.
Now... when Bob calls, even then I won't try to sell him.
I would take a consultative sales approach.
- I'd ask questions..
- I'd show Bob how I can't navigate his site.
- I'll point out errors such as typo-os, bad user interface design, and how his site doesn't convert.
- I'd probably even tell bob how much this is costing him.
- I'd show him that what I do is an investment not an expense. That Bob will most likely get a good ROI (since he's losing money now anyways).
And if Bob WANTS to fix this... "here's some stuff I've done Bob"
* I'd probably even email BOB a white paper with tips & tricks to drive traffic to his website, to make that traffic convert better, and etc.
I'd give BOB value!
So there you go brother...
The "big secret" here is focus on solving problems.
Just my 2 cents.
- Thiago Machado
*P.S.
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