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NOTABLE! In The Blink Of An Eye Everything Can Change

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Vigilante

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I called my best friend last night on my drive home. I had a sense.

I reached him at the hospital.

My call was received a half hour after he had taken his daughter in with the coroner to view her now dead husband... the father of my best friends grandchildren.

A terrible accident had taken his life just a few hours prior.

In the blink of an eye, everything changed. Everything. Permanently, irrevocably changed.

Where does today find you? What if today everything changed for you?

I am imploring you to live EACH day as if it could change, because it can.

There's a well known poster on the forum who got some devastating news a few weeks back. In the blink of an eye, everything can change.

Did you walk out the door today without kissing your spouse? Did you take the extra 10 minutes last night to wrestle with the kids? Are you seriously that stressed out about your job, your bills, your F*cking boss?

Slow down. Put first things first. Don't let a day turn into a week, which turns into a month as the calendar pages continue to turn.

Because you never know. Life has this funny way of recalibrating what is important.

I'll be flying across the country next week to catch a funeral of a guy that had no idea that morning when he walked out the door that it would be the last time he'd see his wife, his three year old, and his one year old.

Live intentionally.
 

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MJ DeMarco

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My condolences Dave, sorry to hear this. :(
 
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My condolences Dave, sorry to hear this. :(
What some might perceive as evil can be flipped around and used for good, but you have to wade through the rough waters to get there.

Everyone has trouble in life. The question is what you make of it. We'll be there to help her get back up again when life knocked her down, and we'll be there to make sure those kids have the full life they are entitled to have.

The kids are young enough they will forget, which is really a blessing for them. The adults... will never forget. That can be a death sentence... or a catalyst towards a life with deeper meaning.
 

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The kids are young enough they will forget, which is really a blessing for them.
It's one of the odd, sad, ironies in life that you only begin to grasp the brevity of life as you get older and your decisions are less impactful.

Think what someone could accomplish over a lifetime if they grasped deep down at say, age 15, that they're going to die and any given day could be their last.

Sorry about your friend.
 

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Very sorry to hear the news, hopefully he lives close enough/you have the time to visit him.

I've always viewed death in what most others consider abnormally positive ways. Think my parents got very worried when I started quoting Peter Pan at a young age.

"To die will be an awfully big adventure"

But when you consider death an adventure you are less likely to wrap your existing life in cotton wool. In my mind anyway. Hard to explain what goes on in here.
 
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Andy Black

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So sorry to hear that Dave. Our prayers and thoughts to your friend and her family.



Time is our most precious resource, but I think people misunderstand it.

They always think they need more time.

The reality is that it's not how much time you have, but what you do with it.

Are you living life or just passing through? Are you appreciating every single moment you have on this planet, with your loved ones and the people around you?

Do you appreciate every step and breath on your journey, or are you only focused on the end?
 

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My sincerest condolences to you and your friend's family. It's unfortunate that anyone has to endure such pain and loss.
I was just having a similar discussion with my wife yesterday after I received a call from my Dad, who informed me that my Grandpa has cancer in both his liver and pancreas. Although he is 75 and has lived a good life the same realization about how things can change in an instant, with one phone call struck me. We just never know. Living life with intention is important. People often wait around thinking they need "permission" from peers or family members about taking big steps in life and pursing their dreams. Do what you need to do for you so that you aren't the person looking back at life 50 years later with regrets or wondering what if. We only get one shot at life so let's make the most of it that we can! Play hard, love hard, and make a difference to someone.
 

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So much truth here.

It's such a shame that we get so caught up in trivial things that seem so important to us at the time - that we forget what truly matters.

Just a couple hours ago I talked with my Mom about how she's divorcing my Dad after 33 years of marriage. It's easy to take someone for granted if you have them there all the time... all of a sudden, by the time you realize they're leaving - it's too late to hold onto them.

Thanks for the reminder about keeping first things first, Vigilante. My condolences for your friend.
 

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Sad. So sad.

That's why I think freedom is so important; so we can have more free time to do the important things (like hang out with those we love) and be there for them. Being wealthy enough to be present when it matters is a big motivator for me.

My condolences.
 

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Bigguns50

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I am very sorry Dave.

I will share my story to contribute to this thread, not hijack it.

Two weeks ago my life was buzzing along pretty good. Reaching my goals and setting more. Training and my health...great. My relationships... great. No complaints really.

Nine days ago I had a freak slip and fall in my basement. I completely ruptured my right quadriceps tendon. I had surgery 3 days ago. EVERYTHING stopped.

Six weeks on crutches, 12 weeks with a knee brace and I won't regain all my range of motion or strength....surgeon's opinion. The pain...disabling and unrelenting.

Here are some of the things I can't do for at least 6 weeks: Drive, walk without crutches, workout, finish my house projects and ready it for sale, go down stairs, work my Ebay store, work the hardware store, have sex, do laundry, buy groceries, and on and on.

Everyone has trouble in life. The question is what you make of it.
I decided to focus on what I CAN do. I have enough faith and life experience to know blessings will come from this. I have 5 Udemy courses to complete. Two new books to read and....different goals to meet. I've called many friends and family members daily...we've had real conversations. My Wife and I have spent more time together having meaningful conversations. I have NOT been bored. The World is at my fingertips. I will continue to find ways to help people and add value.

@Vigilante 's words are true and wise.
 

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Dave, so sorry to hear this sad news. We often live our lives like we are immortal but it takes the sad realities of life to remind us how fragile our existence is and how short, especially if the unforeseen happens.

Our own mortality has been on my mind too.

I am attending my mothering-in-laws funeral on Monday. My wife sat with her for a week while she finally slipped away from cancer. I told her to stay for the duration and not worry about us at home as she would only regret not being there for her when inevitable happened.


 

JWelch

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Dave, so sorry to hear this sad news. We often live our lives like we are immortal but it takes the sad realities of life to remind us how fragile our existence is and how short, especially if the unforeseen happens.

Our own mortality has been on my mind too.

I am attending my mothering-in-laws funeral on Monday. My wife sat with her for a week while she finally slipped away from cancer. I told her to stay for the duration and not worry about us at home as she would only regret not being there for her when inevitable happened.


Sorry for your loss. Life sure does have a way of smacking us in the back of the head and putting things into focus from time to time.
 

RazorCut

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Thanks @JWelch

Did you walk out the door today without kissing your spouse?
Not only did I do that yesterday @Vigilante, I reacted to a harsh word from my wife by saying 'I'm going to work' and walked out of the house ignoring her hasty apologies. When I got to work I txt her two words: Love You.

Slow down. Put first things first. Don't let a day turn into a week, which turns into a month as the calendar pages continue to turn.
So true, thanks for the reminder.
 
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I heard a story about him today. Apparently he stopped by an elderly lady in his communities home a few weeks ago just to check up on her because she wasn't feeling well.

He didn't tell anybody that.

The bank in his hometown put up a banner today to tell the community they will miss him and to establish a fund for the well-being of his kids.

If you were to die today, would they be looking for a large venue for your funeral because so many people were expected?

They are trying to find a place that could accommodate all of the people they are expecting to attend.
 
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MJ DeMarco

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If everyone lived each day as it were their last, we'd never survive as a culture. Stores would be closed, there would be no food, no one would be working. While I understand the idealistic meaning behind the concept, I loathe this phrase.

Instead, we all should be striving to live the gift of our life to the fullest. Pursue work that matters. Meaning. Purpose. Leaving a legacy.

Aim to live your life as its SOLE OWNER, not as a lessee subordinate to a mortgage, a job, a career, an existence. Leave proud, and with few regrets.
 

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I am so sorry. I know that's really inadequate as a sentiment, though. :frown: I'll pray for the repose of his soul and the consolation of all who knew him.
 

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I loathe this phrase.

Instead, we all should be striving to live the gift of our life to the fullest. Pursue work that matters. Meaning. Purpose. Leaving a legacy.
I totally get where you are coming from. I don’t think it was ever intended to be taken literally though. More of a reminder of the important things in life. To be kind to others, do something that matters, spend time with loved ones, make a difference.

This phase is often attributed to Steve Jobs and he certainly left a legacy.
 
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I totally get where you are coming from. I don’t think it was ever intended to be taken literally though. More of a reminder of the important things in life. To be kind to others, do something that matters, spend time with loved ones, make a difference.

This phase is often attributed to Steve Jobs and he certainly left a legacy.

It would never be implemented en masse for the same reason that the paradigm shift of the millionaire fast lane would never be implemented en masse. However, on an individual basis it is worth striving towards. It's simply reflects a mind set change towards appreciating life and the little things along the way.

 

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My condolences to you and your friends family @Vigilante, I think we can all learn a lesson here that life is unpredictable and time is scarce. Life's too short to be anything but happy.
 

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Sorry to hear bud.

I was talking to a mentor yesterday - on and on about 'the track I'm currently on'. "Yeah, so far so good - just need to keep this pace up, keep saving X, keep doing Y, keep acting on Z and I'll be at such and such a place in 5, 10 years"

and then I paused on that thought.. and realized how absurd the future-tense talk was.. and i interjected on my own thought..

"Or, I could get hit by a bus tomorrow. Who knows"

to which he responded in the exact way I expected him to, and led him to:

"Which is why you need to enjoy the now"
 

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So sorry to hear that Dave. My condolences to you and yours.

There's a quote I quite like by Marcus Aurelius that really resonated with me that sums it up a bit better than the others I've heard:

"Think of yourself as dead. You have lived your life. Now, take what's left and live it properly."
 
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So sorry to hear that Dave. My condolences to you and yours.

There's a quote I quite like by Marcus Aurelius that really resonated with me that sums it up a bit better than the others I've heard:

"Think of yourself as dead. You have lived your life. Now, take what's left and live it properly."
Funny you would mention that quote as I call my buddy Marcus Aurelius
 

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My condolences @Vigilante :(

Please people, always take the time for the seemingly small things in life.
Kiss your spouse good night, every night. Tell your partner, siblings, mother, father, family how much he/she/they mean to you, whenever you feel like it.
Rather be happy than right. F*ck that stupid argument and if you are right or the other. If you love that other person than what's more important? Being right? Or being happy together?
Take the time to understand others. Be open. Be honest. Especially with your loved ones.
If someone did something great, tell them. Don't assume that they know. They probably know it, but don't feel like it's something great, unless you show them that you see it that way.

I wouldn't want to have to say "F*ck, I wish I'd done that or said that"
I'd like to be able to say "F*ck, I wish I could do that for longer"
 
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Unexpectedly I was called upon today to wordsmith the obituary. They gave me the raw data, and we then organized the words.

If your family asked me to do this for you, what would they say?

BTW, I have found that there is a REAL NEED for people in their time of mourning for someone to step up and handle the "business" side of this. There are things that have to be done expediently, during the window of time where people in mourning can't think straight. Organizing the obituary and funeral/memorial programs are tasks that can easily be off-boarded to an interested third party. Rather than the sometimes empty "let me know if you need anything" that everyone says, next time I will offer specific things. I wasn't expected to be asked to do this, but found it a great honor and next time I will offer specifically things that I can do to help. Easier for us on the outside than those dealing with the storm clouds.
 

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BTW, I have found that there is a REAL NEED for people in their time of mourning for someone to step up and handle the "business" side of this. There are things that have to be done expediently, during the window of time where people in mourning can't think straight. Organizing the obituary and funeral/memorial programs are tasks that can easily be off-boarded to an interested third party. Rather than the sometimes empty "let me know if you need anything" that everyone says, next time I will offer specific things. I wasn't expected to be asked to do this, but found it a great honor and next time I will offer specifically things that I can do to help. Easier for us on the outside than those dealing with the storm clouds.
Thank you for sharing this story @Vigilante

Not to hijack...

Last year, both of my grandparents passed on. I took all of the "business of death" tasks away from my mother long before their deaths by ensuring I was the executor of the estate. The business of death is fairly complicated, and asking someone under so much grief to handle those tasks is asking A LOT.

I was honored to help my grandparents, by ensuring that their last wishes were followed.

One thing I found was that people were happy, anxious even, to help me where they could. Whether it was cooking dinner for my mom, running errands, or whatever, they were grateful to be of service. Most just said "let me know if I can help" and if I thought they were sincere (most were) then I found something for them to do.

My point is, for the group, just to reiterate @Vigilante 's point above...if you are the one suffering the loss, don't be afraid to ask for specific help. If you aren't, offer specific help.

And everyone should do their family a huge favor and have a will (or better, a trust) in place just in case. Seriously.

My condolences @Vigilante , and again...thanks for sharing.
 

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If everyone lived each day as it were their last, we'd never survive as a culture.
I heard this in a podcast once and it has stuck with me.

If you live everyday to its fullest what would you really do? Drink all you want, do drugs, have sex with women, spend money like crazy? If you really did this would you feel good about yourself after you did this 60 days in a row? After 2 months of this when you look back at your life, are you happy with how you spent that time?

When you are training for a marathon daily, you aren't thinking "wow this is the best day ever" 1 hour into your training run in the rain. In fact, you are miserable. But yet you do this 2 straight months to train. When you complete the marathon, when you look back at your life, are you happy with how you spent that time?

Think about the ball player who spends hours in the gym practicing. Is he living life to its fullest in the sense that most people think? Probably not, but I would say that he is. He's practicing to become the best at his sport, that work he puts in with give him ultimate joy when he wins the championship or MVP next year.

Living life to its fullest doesn't mean that you just do what is fun at the moment. It's about doing things that make you feel fulfilled when you look backwards.

Just like in building a business, it's hard work and sometimes miserable, living day to day with some pain and suffering increases the happiness and joy at the end of the race.
 
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If your family asked me to do this for you, what would they say?
Last Thursday, I did a speech in Toastmasters during a speech contest and I told the audience they will die one day and asked them to visualize their own funeral:

What will they say about you?
Will you have regrets about what you have (not) done in your life?
Did you realize it was gonna end so sudden?

It felt like the temperature in the room dropped with 10 degrees. I was surprised how little people actually realize this.

Oh, and I lost the contest. People don't want to hear their life will end someday, but rather some more of that motivational-uplifting-you-can-do-it-stuff.

I'm sorry for your loss, Vig.
 

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