How To Stop Seeking Permission/Validation?

[PizzaOnTheRoof]

I'll try not to get too sappy, but this is something that I have struggled with forever.

I can never start or buy anything before it is validated by other people.

Whether it's starting a business or making an expensive purchase, I always have the urge to seek out other people's opinions before starting/buying. It's like I have to get permission from other people that I am making the right choice.

I feel like it's really holding me back in my life.

Is it the fear of the unknown? Analysis paralysis?

I'm sure other people struggle with this issue too. I think it would really help if we could discuss strategies or how you guys overcame this constant struggle I have.

How have you dealt with this issue in your life?

 

Dislike ads? Remove them and support the forum: Subscribe to Fastlane Insiders.

[Jasmine Vine]

I think it's only natural to want to seek validation for things because we all want reassurance that the path we are on is the right one. Where the issue comes in, is when you seek that validation from sidewalkers or slowlaners, because their perception of reality is different, and asking these people will only bring you down. In that sense you need to learn to validate yourself and make a point to only share things with people who wont just bring you down.

I believe this comes from a lack of confidence in one-self and their own abilities. I'm still stuck in it myself. Keen to hear other peoples thoughts on this.

 

[PizzaOnTheRoof]

I think it's only natural to want to seek validation for things because we all want reassurance that the path we are on is the right one. Where the issue comes in, is when you seek that validation from sidewalkers or slowlaners, because their perception of reality is different, and asking these people will only bring you down. In that sense you need to learn to validate yourself and make a point to only share things with people who wont just bring you down.

I believe this comes from a lack of confidence in one-self and their own abilities. I'm still stuck in it myself. Keen to hear other peoples thoughts on this.

First off, welcome to the forum!

I think you may be onto something. It goes deeper than just buying something, it's like every decision I make I'm always looking for some kind of approval to go for it.

GF: "Where do you want to eat for dinner?"
Me: "I kinda want Taco Bell, does that sound ok? Or would you like something else?"
GF: "JUST PICK A DAMN PLACE!"

Obviously not that extreme but I think you get the point.

 

[Aunt Clyde]

Maybe you can start by asking yourself what the worse case scenario would be if you made a decision to buy something or do something on your own. Are you afraid of making the wrong choice? Are you afraid of people being angry with you?

 

Dislike ads? Remove them and support the forum: Subscribe to Fastlane Insiders.

[PizzaOnTheRoof]

Maybe you can start by asking yourself what the worse case scenario would be if you made a decision to buy something or do something on your own. Are you afraid of making the wrong choice? Are you afraid of people being angry with you?

Thanks for the suggestion. I'll have to get into the habit of doing a WCCA when it comes to things like this.

I think it's mostly analysis paralysis.

I tend to want to know everything there is to know before making a decision, so I get in this loop of researching, finding validation, oh look a differing opinion, and researching some more.

 

[ChrisV]

Oh come on... you already know the answer...

tonight... we cook.

 

[Thoelt53]

You have my permission to not need permission.

 

Dislike ads? Remove them and support the forum: Subscribe to Fastlane Insiders.