for me getting rid of my negative 'friends' was easy, i simply stopped talking to them. in fact, it was too easy. when i stopped being there i saw that they had never been there for me in the first place. and man, did that ever hurt.
these were people i cared about, had been there for, made time for, and when the truth came out, i was no one to them. i probably should be angry about it but even now it just makes me sad. but it also opened my eyes. i was surrounded by drug addicts and users, alcoholics, abusive people and people in abusive relationships, USERS, criminals, thieves, con artists, liers, cheaters. i was doing my best to make it in the slowlane because that was the only way for people like us to 'make it'. yet what was around me wasnt even sidewalk, it was the gutter.
it was a soul crushing experience for 4 years as i tried to get out and hold on at the same time. these were my friends, i didnt want to lose them. i could deal with the bullshit i thought, financially i was doing ok and moving ahead. my greatest fear was being alone and having no friends. how horrible that sounds to say now.
now its family. thats even worse. how do you get rid of negative family? how do you walk away from family? thats what i have been struggling with for the last few months. in a week i will be completely moved. no one knows where exactly im going. a few know what city ill be in. some dont even know im moving. i have refused to tell where in the city im moving to. im doing all i can to keep my address unknown. i will be changing my number. i know i will not be taking part in any future family fuctions. i know i will be branded as a pos by my siblings. i know my mother will not understand and will worry and be hurt. i dont know what to tell her.
these were people i cared about, had been there for, made time for, and when the truth came out, i was no one to them. i probably should be angry about it but even now it just makes me sad. but it also opened my eyes. i was surrounded by drug addicts and users, alcoholics, abusive people and people in abusive relationships, USERS, criminals, thieves, con artists, liers, cheaters. i was doing my best to make it in the slowlane because that was the only way for people like us to 'make it'. yet what was around me wasnt even sidewalk, it was the gutter.
it was a soul crushing experience for 4 years as i tried to get out and hold on at the same time. these were my friends, i didnt want to lose them. i could deal with the bullshit i thought, financially i was doing ok and moving ahead. my greatest fear was being alone and having no friends. how horrible that sounds to say now.
now its family. thats even worse. how do you get rid of negative family? how do you walk away from family? thats what i have been struggling with for the last few months. in a week i will be completely moved. no one knows where exactly im going. a few know what city ill be in. some dont even know im moving. i have refused to tell where in the city im moving to. im doing all i can to keep my address unknown. i will be changing my number. i know i will not be taking part in any future family fuctions. i know i will be branded as a pos by my siblings. i know my mother will not understand and will worry and be hurt. i dont know what to tell her.
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