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Handling Rejection

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ocean

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<div class="bbWrapper">Hey all, I haven&#039;t been by here for a while, but I just thought I&#039;d pop in and share my thoughts that I think would be helpful to fellow members. Especially new guys just starting out.<br /> <br /> <br /> <br /> How do you handle rejection?<br /> <br /> It took a while, but for me, it now comes easy, once I learned one simple fact:<br /> <br /> <br /> You may be awesome. But you won&#039;t ever be the right fit for everyone. And that&#039;s OKAY.<br /> <br /> Seth Godin mentioned something about selling &quot;nuts to squirrels instead of trying to convince dolphins that nuts are delicious.&quot;<br /> <br /> I laughed at that mental image.<br /> <br /> Now, sure, we want to be accepted and liked. You want that hot girl (or guy) to go out with you. You want that investor to give you the green light. And it would be awesome if everyone in the world bought your product (imagine the profits! LOL)<br /> <br /> BUT<br /> <br /> <br /> No matter how rude or mean they may be about it, they are simply telling you that what you&#039;re offering isn&#039;t for them. They may say that &quot;no one&quot; would ever go for it, but that really means no one they know. There&#039;s plenty of people they don&#039;t know that might love it.<br /> <br /> <br /> People are doing you a favor. It&#039;s actually good that you get rejected or told no. Because you&#039;d be miserable if they didn&#039;t.<br /> <br /> <br /> Yes, in fact, it&#039;s good that certain people DON&#039;T buy your product:<br /> <br /> -They won&#039;t return it (which costs you more than a simple rejection in the end).<br /> -They won&#039;t tie up your resources with customer service requests.<br /> -They won&#039;t complain to everyone about their bad experience.<br /> <br /> It&#039;s good that the investor said no thanks:<br /> <br /> -They may not be the right connection for you.<br /> -It might stress you out because they&#039;ll be watching you closer.<br /> -They may place unreasonable terms on the investment.<br /> <br /> <br /> <br /> <br /> HOWEVER,<br /> <br /> <br /> Every time you get rejected, you must spend about 30 seconds asking yourself if it&#039;s helping you or hurting you. Ask yourself objectively if you&#039;re on track and they weren&#039;t right for the deal.<br /> <br /> You can&#039;t just disregard everyone. If what you&#039;re doing is so niche that not enough people accept it to make you a profit, this is when you should consider your approach &amp; position. This is when you should put more time into wondering why you are being rejected.<br /> <br /> <br /> <br /> It is a Balancing Act<br /> <br /> <br /> The goal and the science behind handling rejection in business and life is to position yourself so that you&#039;re the right fit for enough people, while weeding out the people that aren&#039;t right for your business. And that balance is always shifting. It&#039;s your responsibility as a business owner to make sure that balance is being kept.<br /> <br /> <br /> Now, true, the more people you impact, the wealthier you become. But don&#039;t try to bite off more than you can chew right away. If you can follow in Mark Zuckerburg&#039;s footsteps, great!<br /> <br /> But you need your bases covered first. Mark wasn&#039;t a poor kid delivering pizzas to pay his rent while trying to write code. He was highly educated. His needs were supported while he was going to Harvard. He had a captive audience right outside his dorm room. If that&#039;s not you, then start smaller, then move up as you grow. Before you can bake a cake, you need all the ingredients and equipment to do it. Your first business may not be your last. Figure out where you are, what leverage you do have, and start from there, instead of trying to duplicate someone else&#039;s success. That&#039;s how they did it.<br /> <br /> <br /> <br /> <br /> Finding Your Balance<br /> <br /> <br /> Now what happens if you are just that guy who can&#039;t seem to get it right, no matter how many times you try?<br /> <br /> Don&#039;t worry, I was there. Keep trying. But be open to reality.<br /> <br /> You must balance who you think you are and what you are offering, with what people need/want and how people will perceive you.<br /> <br /> Think about where you&#039;re at. Think about what you&#039;re projecting. Remember that it&#039;s not just about what you say and do, it&#039;s also about what your audience hears and understands.<br /> <br /> Are you approaching the right target?<br /> Do you even know what that target looks like? Where are the people you&#039;re trying to reach?<br /> Have you sought out people that fit the demographic you&#039;re going for and asked their honest opinion? Have you done your homework on the market?<br /> Other than being a billionaire and living like a rock-star, what are your realistic goals for the project?<br /> Do you have an objective view of how you appear to your audience?<br /> <br /> Most important, have you found your identity?<br /> <br /> Here&#039;s an example...<br /> <br /> Say my desire is to be a heavy weight ultimate fighting champion (not really, but go with it). The problem is, I will never be a UFC fighter. I&#039;m just not built for it. And even though I can handle myself in a scrap, no one would believe it by looking at me!<br /> <br /> I have two choices:<br /> <br /> A. Walk around thinking I&#039;m tough, but in reality everyone thinks I&#039;m a total poser.<br /> B. Accept it, and instead, identify what I CAN be, and become the heavy weight champion at THAT.<br /> <br /> <br /> <br /> Chicks, investors, and customers dig CONFIDENCE more than anything. They want to be a part of a winning team. It&#039;s a psychological thing. And true confidence comes from being good at what you do, and knowing that it&#039;s useful to a certain amount of people.<br /> <br /> Find that balance, and you will boost your chance to succeed.</div>
 
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<div class="bbWrapper">This was so good I booked marked it, and added parts to my swipe file. You should add this to your money making site.</div>
 
<div class="bbWrapper">I have been in sales for years, but its completely different when its YOU that gets rejected. On one hand, I get mad, on the other, I use it as motivation.<br /> <br /> I have found that the worst prospects waste the most of my time. The ask for meeting after meeting, usually in person. They go round and round and its them doing most of the talking, as if they are paying you just to listen to them. And its typically for small money, but they act as if the project is the most important thing in the world. For me these have been alpha stage start ups, by inexperienced entrepreneurs and/or start up owners who are from a corporate background, everything is a break out session. I have seen a lot time and money wasted. <br /> <br /> If a potential client isnt moving fast and breaking things, this is usually a good sign that they will be a bad prospect for my services and someone I dont want to engage with.</div>
 
<div class="bbWrapper"><blockquote data-attributes="" data-quote="ocean" data-source="post: 164479" class="bbCodeBlock bbCodeBlock--expandable bbCodeBlock--quote js-expandWatch"> <div class="bbCodeBlock-title"> <a href="/community/goto/post?id=164479" class="bbCodeBlock-sourceJump" rel="nofollow" data-xf-click="attribution" data-content-selector="#post-164479">ocean said:</a> </div> <div class="bbCodeBlock-content"> <div class="bbCodeBlock-expandContent js-expandContent "> Yes, in fact, it&#039;s good that certain people DON&#039;T buy your product:<br /> <br /> It&#039;s good that the investor said no thanks:<br /> <br /> The goal and the science behind handling rejection in business and life is to position yourself so that you&#039;re the right fit for enough people, while weeding out the people that aren&#039;t right for your business. </div> <div class="bbCodeBlock-expandLink js-expandLink"><a role="button" tabindex="0">Click to expand...</a></div> </div> </blockquote> <br /> ocean - <br /> <br /> YES!<br /> <br /> Learning how to find the right customers for our business was critical. Letting people know how important this is is awesome. Thanks for that.<br /> <br /> Long ago I learned another way of dealing with rejection that you might find useful. There are always going to be a certain number of people who reject your offer and a certain number who accept it. For the sake of a simple example lets say that out of every 5 offers you get one acceptance. You could focus on the 4 rejections and give up too soon if you don&#039;t understand what actually happens is this:<br /> <br /> NO<br /> NO<br /> NO<br /> NO<br /> <b>YES</b><br /> <br /> <b>You have to go through the NOs to get to the YESs!</b><br /> <br /> In sales that&#039;s called your closing ratio, in PPC advertising its your CTR or your conversion rate, etc.<br /> <br /> If you break it down further you can actually place a dollar value on each NO.<br /> <br /> Again with a simple example, if each YES earns you $500,000 then the value of each of your NOs is $100,000!<br /> <br /> Every time Babe Ruth struck out he would leave the plate with a smile because <b>he was that much closer to his next home run</b>. <img src="/community/styles/default/xenforo/smilies/hurray.gif" class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":hurray:" title="Hurray :hurray:" data-shortname=":hurray:" /><br /> <br /> JWH</div>
 
<div class="bbWrapper">Cool, thanks guys!<br /> <br /> South Park is a good example of this... Can you imagine how many people hated them in the beginning? But they did it any way, and built up a fan-base of people that love them.<br /> <br /> <br /> Imagine if the creators had simply said &quot;Oh, I guess people don&#039;t like it, so we&#039;ll make something more tasteful instead&quot;.... Would they be as successful?<br /> <br /> Probably not. Because they&#039;d be making lame shows like everyone else&#039;s, and there would be so much competition. And they would have flamed out and made crap because there&#039;s no passion. <br /> <br /> AND most important, even if they had made a really popular lame show... They&#039;d be miserable while doing it. Which disqualifies as my definition of success.</div>
 
<div class="bbWrapper">For all the young guys out there, I suggest cold approach pickup to learn how to handle social pressure and rejection. Its excellent training for sales and interpersonal skills in my opinion since you become immune to rejection or what other people think of you.</div>
 
<div class="bbWrapper"><blockquote data-attributes="" data-quote="Bigfoot" data-source="post: 171844" class="bbCodeBlock bbCodeBlock--expandable bbCodeBlock--quote js-expandWatch"> <div class="bbCodeBlock-title"> <a href="/community/goto/post?id=171844" class="bbCodeBlock-sourceJump" rel="nofollow" data-xf-click="attribution" data-content-selector="#post-171844">Bigfoot said:</a> </div> <div class="bbCodeBlock-content"> <div class="bbCodeBlock-expandContent js-expandContent "> For all the young guys out there, I suggest cold approach pickup to learn how to handle social pressure and rejection. Its excellent training for sales and interpersonal skills in my opinion since you become immune to rejection or what other people think of you. </div> <div class="bbCodeBlock-expandLink js-expandLink"><a role="button" tabindex="0">Click to expand...</a></div> </div> </blockquote> <br /> 100% agree</div>
 
<div class="bbWrapper"><blockquote data-attributes="" data-quote="ocean" data-source="post: 164479" class="bbCodeBlock bbCodeBlock--expandable bbCodeBlock--quote js-expandWatch"> <div class="bbCodeBlock-title"> <a href="/community/goto/post?id=164479" class="bbCodeBlock-sourceJump" rel="nofollow" data-xf-click="attribution" data-content-selector="#post-164479">ocean said:</a> </div> <div class="bbCodeBlock-content"> <div class="bbCodeBlock-expandContent js-expandContent "> Hey all, I haven&#039;t been by here for a while, but I just thought I&#039;d pop in and share my thoughts that I think would be helpful to fellow members. Especially new guys just starting out.<br /> <br /> <br /> <br /> How do you handle rejection?<br /> <br /> It took a while, but for me, it now comes easy, once I learned one simple fact:<br /> <br /> <br /> You may be awesome. But you won&#039;t ever be the right fit for everyone. And that&#039;s OKAY.<br /> <br /> Seth Godin mentioned something about selling &quot;nuts to squirrels instead of trying to convince dolphins that nuts are delicious.&quot;<br /> <br /> I laughed at that mental image.<br /> <br /> Now, sure, we want to be accepted and liked. You want that hot girl (or guy) to go out with you. You want that investor to give you the green light. And it would be awesome if everyone in the world bought your product (imagine the profits! LOL)<br /> <br /> BUT<br /> <br /> <br /> No matter how rude or mean they may be about it, they are simply telling you that what you&#039;re offering isn&#039;t for them. They may say that &quot;no one&quot; would ever go for it, but that really means no one they know. There&#039;s plenty of people they don&#039;t know that might love it.<br /> <br /> <br /> People are doing you a favor. It&#039;s actually good that you get rejected or told no. Because you&#039;d be miserable if they didn&#039;t.<br /> <br /> <br /> Yes, in fact, it&#039;s good that certain people DON&#039;T buy your product:<br /> <br /> -They won&#039;t return it (which costs you more than a simple rejection in the end).<br /> -They won&#039;t tie up your resources with customer service requests.<br /> -They won&#039;t complain to everyone about their bad experience.<br /> <br /> It&#039;s good that the investor said no thanks:<br /> <br /> -They may not be the right connection for you.<br /> -It might stress you out because they&#039;ll be watching you closer.<br /> -They may place unreasonable terms on the investment.<br /> <br /> <br /> <br /> <br /> HOWEVER,<br /> <br /> <br /> Every time you get rejected, you must spend about 30 seconds asking yourself if it&#039;s helping you or hurting you. Ask yourself objectively if you&#039;re on track and they weren&#039;t right for the deal.<br /> <br /> You can&#039;t just disregard everyone. If what you&#039;re doing is so niche that not enough people accept it to make you a profit, this is when you should consider your approach &amp; position. This is when you should put more time into wondering why you are being rejected.<br /> <br /> <br /> <br /> It is a Balancing Act<br /> <br /> <br /> The goal and the science behind handling rejection in business and life is to position yourself so that you&#039;re the right fit for enough people, while weeding out the people that aren&#039;t right for your business. And that balance is always shifting. It&#039;s your responsibility as a business owner to make sure that balance is being kept.<br /> <br /> <br /> Now, true, the more people you impact, the wealthier you become. But don&#039;t try to bite off more than you can chew right away. If you can follow in Mark Zuckerburg&#039;s footsteps, great!<br /> <br /> But you need your bases covered first. Mark wasn&#039;t a poor kid delivering pizzas to pay his rent while trying to write code. He was highly educated. His needs were supported while he was going to Harvard. He had a captive audience right outside his dorm room. If that&#039;s not you, then start smaller, then move up as you grow. Before you can bake a cake, you need all the ingredients and equipment to do it. Your first business may not be your last. Figure out where you are, what leverage you do have, and start from there, instead of trying to duplicate someone else&#039;s success. That&#039;s how they did it.<br /> <br /> <br /> <br /> <br /> Finding Your Balance<br /> <br /> <br /> Now what happens if you are just that guy who can&#039;t seem to get it right, no matter how many times you try?<br /> <br /> Don&#039;t worry, I was there. Keep trying. But be open to reality.<br /> <br /> You must balance who you think you are and what you are offering, with what people need/want and how people will perceive you.<br /> <br /> Think about where you&#039;re at. Think about what you&#039;re projecting. Remember that it&#039;s not just about what you say and do, it&#039;s also about what your audience hears and understands.<br /> <br /> Are you approaching the right target?<br /> Do you even know what that target looks like? Where are the people you&#039;re trying to reach?<br /> Have you sought out people that fit the demographic you&#039;re going for and asked their honest opinion? Have you done your homework on the market?<br /> Other than being a billionaire and living like a rock-star, what are your realistic goals for the project?<br /> Do you have an objective view of how you appear to your audience?<br /> <br /> Most important, have you found your identity?<br /> <br /> Here&#039;s an example...<br /> <br /> Say my desire is to be a heavy weight ultimate fighting champion (not really, but go with it). The problem is, I will never be a UFC fighter. I&#039;m just not built for it. And even though I can handle myself in a scrap, no one would believe it by looking at me!<br /> <br /> I have two choices:<br /> <br /> A. Walk around thinking I&#039;m tough, but in reality everyone thinks I&#039;m a total poser.<br /> B. Accept it, and instead, identify what I CAN be, and become the heavy weight champion at THAT.<br /> <br /> <br /> <br /> Chicks, investors, and customers dig CONFIDENCE more than anything. They want to be a part of a winning team. It&#039;s a psychological thing. And true confidence comes from being good at what you do, and knowing that it&#039;s useful to a certain amount of people.<br /> <br /> Find that balance, and you will boost your chance to succeed. </div> <div class="bbCodeBlock-expandLink js-expandLink"><a role="button" tabindex="0">Click to expand...</a></div> </div> </blockquote> <br /> This is one of the best posts I&#039;ve read on this site. Speed++</div>
 
<div class="bbWrapper">I think another thing to consider when being rejected especially in business situations is that it&#039;s nothing personal. Your product or service simply didn&#039;t fit their needs. There isn&#039;t anything that you personally (the I) as a human being did or are. The key to handling rejection is removing the emotional aspect and looking at it completely objectively (which is easier said than done). You need to determine the cause of the rejection only so you don&#039;t repeat the same mistake and/or refine your pitch to get the desired result. Rejection brings you down when you apply it to something personal. Remove the emotions so you can learn and move forward from the experience.</div>
 

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