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Ok So I'm going to give you some details about myself so that you can give me some appropriate advice for my situation.
First fact about me is that I am a 20 y/o that is right now sitting at my parents home because I have gotten rejected from University on the basis of my grade, which was infact not low but actually I was the 2nd topper in my whole class and had a 86% score (Lowest accepted score was 92%), and this was not the first time, even after 10th grade I was rejected from a "Highly reputed school" because it did not accepted anyone with a lower grade than 98% and I was 97% (Yes, I am an Asian), so i had to go to just any nearest school and my parents did not appreciate that and it was not that I did not do my best. I remember I used to study 14 HOURS A DAY, was of course sleep-deprived, had no free time, losing hair at the age of 18 because of high stress and at the end still FAILED. In simple words, I have already experienced job life (maybe worse, idk)
Now the spectacle I saw at the college during the test was the biggest rat race example EVER. There were more than 1500 students competing for less than 50 SEATS, YES FIFTY SEATS. CAN YOU IMAGINE THAT? IN A UNIVERSITY WHERE THEY WERE GOING TO PAY SO MUCH MONEY ANYWAYS, WITH ONLY HOPE OF GETTING A JOB. It stunned me during then and while reading your book "Unscripted ". So can say that was my FTE because i said "No way I'm going to end up like any of these." I still retain the shockwaves i had from that. And if you think this ends here, you are wrong because even if you get admitted in such an institution, first of course the money they charge you for fee is going to kill you, second the additional expenses of cafeteria, clothing, driving, hostel etc. will suck the soul out of you and if that was bearable you chances of getting employed are equal to solar eclipse occurrence because 70% GRADUATES in my country are UNEMPLOYED (This actually increases the crime rate and drug use a lot which is why safety standards are always a concern here). Heck, you will have to compete with 40 y/o people just to get a low-end job. At this point, I fear they start asking for resumes for delivery jobs.
Anyways, coming back to me, my parents didn't like that I failed but they also never asked me to get a job because they thought that they can let me have sometime for free until the next test which is now in a few weeks. But it is not that i don't want to go to a University. I want to because it as it aligns with my life goal of becoming a genetic scientist. But the problems in that are 1: "Prestigious Universities" have higher grades and fee standards that my family can't afford. 2: If you go to a low-end university its just four years wasted, as i said earlier that you are not getting employed anyways. If telling a bit about my family's financial situation. It's actually "One paycheck away from bankruptcy". Both my parents earn but still get very less and can barely afford to survive (not live). Heck, we have to turn off entire house lights just to save on electricity bills and still my father panics whenever it arrives.
So ever since the last test which was Seven months ago, I did not waste time on things like movies and other similar stuff but on the other hand i improved in many areas like Exercise which now I'm near to gain a six pack in a matter of weeks, meditated a lot and read a lot of books. Now my purpose of reading these was at first just "doing something" but after i stumbled upon some self-improvement stuff including "The millionaire fastlane " which was recommended by some YouTuber. During this time i had many ideas of earning online but the problem was i was just jumping anywhere so i wasted first four months because yes i didn't know anything but after reading that book i realized my biggest mistakes
1: What i was doing was helping no one
2: It wasn't going to teach me anything new in the process
3: I was quitting too early because of my self doubt.
Self-doubt is my biggest issue right now because of my past failures in academics and bullying that I experienced a lot in school due to which I even went through depression lately. I don't know why but my mind keeps sabotaging me every living second for no reason (I can't count how many times I wanted to stop writing this). Plus another factor why this happens is literally "NO ONE WILL SUPPORT ME" My parents hate entrepreneurship and when I once asked the answer was a straight "no". Don't have a single friend or relative who can will willingly support me or even advice me. I won't lie Business people are seen as really dark and shady figures in our society and everyone thinks that they are poor because those are rich. So yes, the journey will be very lonely and long.
Anyways, After that i settled on trying "YouTube" because one it was in my approach as i no money to invest initially, second i suck at public speaking so i thought that even if i don't become that good, at least speaking and later on camera and probably increase my story telling skills. This time my approach is to make "500 videos" and improve my skills with each one (500 is a good number especially when it takes more than a week to make a single video) and even after that I don't make it then I'll quit to some other one. No I'm no trying to "FOLLOW MY PASSION" I'm trying to step out of my comfort zone of fear of facing cameras and all that stuff and even if I fail at least I'll be better at that. Plus I have gained good video editing skills, if not the best then at least better than average. And I'm putting as many hours I have of the day on it, apart from the ones I use on exercising, learning editing, reading about speaking skills and coding (My next plan if this one fails). The point here is also that I don't like going online for earning but that's the only way I have as I have no degrees and have been rejected from even part-time jobs, so I will 100% go physical once I have something in my hands.
So now that you know a lot about my situation, the main questions I have here are:
1: How to overcome this big load of self doubt that makes me procrastinate and sink through every negative emotion I ever had?
2: Can I earn money right now (as a hustle not asking for "easy money idea") by editing videos. The reason I'm asking it like this is because it's a very common skill now and my device is low-end. So yes, if you know a bit please guide.
3: Is it okay to do two things at the same time like Going to university for my personal goal and Business for my entrepreneurial ones? The entrance test won't be a problem anymore but how will both be managed at the same time?
Thank you if you read this far, I'm open to any kind of suggestions.
First fact about me is that I am a 20 y/o that is right now sitting at my parents home because I have gotten rejected from University on the basis of my grade, which was infact not low but actually I was the 2nd topper in my whole class and had a 86% score (Lowest accepted score was 92%), and this was not the first time, even after 10th grade I was rejected from a "Highly reputed school" because it did not accepted anyone with a lower grade than 98% and I was 97% (Yes, I am an Asian), so i had to go to just any nearest school and my parents did not appreciate that and it was not that I did not do my best. I remember I used to study 14 HOURS A DAY, was of course sleep-deprived, had no free time, losing hair at the age of 18 because of high stress and at the end still FAILED. In simple words, I have already experienced job life (maybe worse, idk)
Now the spectacle I saw at the college during the test was the biggest rat race example EVER. There were more than 1500 students competing for less than 50 SEATS, YES FIFTY SEATS. CAN YOU IMAGINE THAT? IN A UNIVERSITY WHERE THEY WERE GOING TO PAY SO MUCH MONEY ANYWAYS, WITH ONLY HOPE OF GETTING A JOB. It stunned me during then and while reading your book "Unscripted ". So can say that was my FTE because i said "No way I'm going to end up like any of these." I still retain the shockwaves i had from that. And if you think this ends here, you are wrong because even if you get admitted in such an institution, first of course the money they charge you for fee is going to kill you, second the additional expenses of cafeteria, clothing, driving, hostel etc. will suck the soul out of you and if that was bearable you chances of getting employed are equal to solar eclipse occurrence because 70% GRADUATES in my country are UNEMPLOYED (This actually increases the crime rate and drug use a lot which is why safety standards are always a concern here). Heck, you will have to compete with 40 y/o people just to get a low-end job. At this point, I fear they start asking for resumes for delivery jobs.
Anyways, coming back to me, my parents didn't like that I failed but they also never asked me to get a job because they thought that they can let me have sometime for free until the next test which is now in a few weeks. But it is not that i don't want to go to a University. I want to because it as it aligns with my life goal of becoming a genetic scientist. But the problems in that are 1: "Prestigious Universities" have higher grades and fee standards that my family can't afford. 2: If you go to a low-end university its just four years wasted, as i said earlier that you are not getting employed anyways. If telling a bit about my family's financial situation. It's actually "One paycheck away from bankruptcy". Both my parents earn but still get very less and can barely afford to survive (not live). Heck, we have to turn off entire house lights just to save on electricity bills and still my father panics whenever it arrives.
So ever since the last test which was Seven months ago, I did not waste time on things like movies and other similar stuff but on the other hand i improved in many areas like Exercise which now I'm near to gain a six pack in a matter of weeks, meditated a lot and read a lot of books. Now my purpose of reading these was at first just "doing something" but after i stumbled upon some self-improvement stuff including "The millionaire fastlane " which was recommended by some YouTuber. During this time i had many ideas of earning online but the problem was i was just jumping anywhere so i wasted first four months because yes i didn't know anything but after reading that book i realized my biggest mistakes
1: What i was doing was helping no one
2: It wasn't going to teach me anything new in the process
3: I was quitting too early because of my self doubt.
Self-doubt is my biggest issue right now because of my past failures in academics and bullying that I experienced a lot in school due to which I even went through depression lately. I don't know why but my mind keeps sabotaging me every living second for no reason (I can't count how many times I wanted to stop writing this). Plus another factor why this happens is literally "NO ONE WILL SUPPORT ME" My parents hate entrepreneurship and when I once asked the answer was a straight "no". Don't have a single friend or relative who can will willingly support me or even advice me. I won't lie Business people are seen as really dark and shady figures in our society and everyone thinks that they are poor because those are rich. So yes, the journey will be very lonely and long.
Anyways, After that i settled on trying "YouTube" because one it was in my approach as i no money to invest initially, second i suck at public speaking so i thought that even if i don't become that good, at least speaking and later on camera and probably increase my story telling skills. This time my approach is to make "500 videos" and improve my skills with each one (500 is a good number especially when it takes more than a week to make a single video) and even after that I don't make it then I'll quit to some other one. No I'm no trying to "FOLLOW MY PASSION" I'm trying to step out of my comfort zone of fear of facing cameras and all that stuff and even if I fail at least I'll be better at that. Plus I have gained good video editing skills, if not the best then at least better than average. And I'm putting as many hours I have of the day on it, apart from the ones I use on exercising, learning editing, reading about speaking skills and coding (My next plan if this one fails). The point here is also that I don't like going online for earning but that's the only way I have as I have no degrees and have been rejected from even part-time jobs, so I will 100% go physical once I have something in my hands.
So now that you know a lot about my situation, the main questions I have here are:
1: How to overcome this big load of self doubt that makes me procrastinate and sink through every negative emotion I ever had?
2: Can I earn money right now (as a hustle not asking for "easy money idea") by editing videos. The reason I'm asking it like this is because it's a very common skill now and my device is low-end. So yes, if you know a bit please guide.
3: Is it okay to do two things at the same time like Going to university for my personal goal and Business for my entrepreneurial ones? The entrance test won't be a problem anymore but how will both be managed at the same time?
Thank you if you read this far, I'm open to any kind of suggestions.
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