ocean
New Contributor
Hey all, I haven't been by here for a while, but I just thought I'd pop in and share my thoughts that I think would be helpful to fellow members. Especially new guys just starting out.
How do you handle rejection?
It took a while, but for me, it now comes easy, once I learned one simple fact:
You may be awesome. But you won't ever be the right fit for everyone. And that's OKAY.
Seth Godin mentioned something about selling "nuts to squirrels instead of trying to convince dolphins that nuts are delicious."
I laughed at that mental image.
Now, sure, we want to be accepted and liked. You want that hot girl (or guy) to go out with you. You want that investor to give you the green light. And it would be awesome if everyone in the world bought your product (imagine the profits! LOL)
BUT
No matter how rude or mean they may be about it, they are simply telling you that what you're offering isn't for them. They may say that "no one" would ever go for it, but that really means no one they know. There's plenty of people they don't know that might love it.
People are doing you a favor. It's actually good that you get rejected or told no. Because you'd be miserable if they didn't.
Yes, in fact, it's good that certain people DON'T buy your product:
-They won't return it (which costs you more than a simple rejection in the end).
-They won't tie up your resources with customer service requests.
-They won't complain to everyone about their bad experience.
It's good that the investor said no thanks:
-They may not be the right connection for you.
-It might stress you out because they'll be watching you closer.
-They may place unreasonable terms on the investment.
HOWEVER,
Every time you get rejected, you must spend about 30 seconds asking yourself if it's helping you or hurting you. Ask yourself objectively if you're on track and they weren't right for the deal.
You can't just disregard everyone. If what you're doing is so niche that not enough people accept it to make you a profit, this is when you should consider your approach & position. This is when you should put more time into wondering why you are being rejected.
It is a Balancing Act
The goal and the science behind handling rejection in business and life is to position yourself so that you're the right fit for enough people, while weeding out the people that aren't right for your business. And that balance is always shifting. It's your responsibility as a business owner to make sure that balance is being kept.
Now, true, the more people you impact, the wealthier you become. But don't try to bite off more than you can chew right away. If you can follow in Mark Zuckerburg's footsteps, great!
But you need your bases covered first. Mark wasn't a poor kid delivering pizzas to pay his rent while trying to write code. He was highly educated. His needs were supported while he was going to Harvard. He had a captive audience right outside his dorm room. If that's not you, then start smaller, then move up as you grow. Before you can bake a cake, you need all the ingredients and equipment to do it. Your first business may not be your last. Figure out where you are, what leverage you do have, and start from there, instead of trying to duplicate someone else's success. That's how they did it.
Finding Your Balance
Now what happens if you are just that guy who can't seem to get it right, no matter how many times you try?
Don't worry, I was there. Keep trying. But be open to reality.
You must balance who you think you are and what you are offering, with what people need/want and how people will perceive you.
Think about where you're at. Think about what you're projecting. Remember that it's not just about what you say and do, it's also about what your audience hears and understands.
Are you approaching the right target?
Do you even know what that target looks like? Where are the people you're trying to reach?
Have you sought out people that fit the demographic you're going for and asked their honest opinion? Have you done your homework on the market?
Other than being a billionaire and living like a rock-star, what are your realistic goals for the project?
Do you have an objective view of how you appear to your audience?
Most important, have you found your identity?
Here's an example...
Say my desire is to be a heavy weight ultimate fighting champion (not really, but go with it). The problem is, I will never be a UFC fighter. I'm just not built for it. And even though I can handle myself in a scrap, no one would believe it by looking at me!
I have two choices:
A. Walk around thinking I'm tough, but in reality everyone thinks I'm a total poser.
B. Accept it, and instead, identify what I CAN be, and become the heavy weight champion at THAT.
Chicks, investors, and customers dig CONFIDENCE more than anything. They want to be a part of a winning team. It's a psychological thing. And true confidence comes from being good at what you do, and knowing that it's useful to a certain amount of people.
Find that balance, and you will boost your chance to succeed.
How do you handle rejection?
It took a while, but for me, it now comes easy, once I learned one simple fact:
You may be awesome. But you won't ever be the right fit for everyone. And that's OKAY.
Seth Godin mentioned something about selling "nuts to squirrels instead of trying to convince dolphins that nuts are delicious."
I laughed at that mental image.
Now, sure, we want to be accepted and liked. You want that hot girl (or guy) to go out with you. You want that investor to give you the green light. And it would be awesome if everyone in the world bought your product (imagine the profits! LOL)
BUT
No matter how rude or mean they may be about it, they are simply telling you that what you're offering isn't for them. They may say that "no one" would ever go for it, but that really means no one they know. There's plenty of people they don't know that might love it.
People are doing you a favor. It's actually good that you get rejected or told no. Because you'd be miserable if they didn't.
Yes, in fact, it's good that certain people DON'T buy your product:
-They won't return it (which costs you more than a simple rejection in the end).
-They won't tie up your resources with customer service requests.
-They won't complain to everyone about their bad experience.
It's good that the investor said no thanks:
-They may not be the right connection for you.
-It might stress you out because they'll be watching you closer.
-They may place unreasonable terms on the investment.
HOWEVER,
Every time you get rejected, you must spend about 30 seconds asking yourself if it's helping you or hurting you. Ask yourself objectively if you're on track and they weren't right for the deal.
You can't just disregard everyone. If what you're doing is so niche that not enough people accept it to make you a profit, this is when you should consider your approach & position. This is when you should put more time into wondering why you are being rejected.
It is a Balancing Act
The goal and the science behind handling rejection in business and life is to position yourself so that you're the right fit for enough people, while weeding out the people that aren't right for your business. And that balance is always shifting. It's your responsibility as a business owner to make sure that balance is being kept.
Now, true, the more people you impact, the wealthier you become. But don't try to bite off more than you can chew right away. If you can follow in Mark Zuckerburg's footsteps, great!
But you need your bases covered first. Mark wasn't a poor kid delivering pizzas to pay his rent while trying to write code. He was highly educated. His needs were supported while he was going to Harvard. He had a captive audience right outside his dorm room. If that's not you, then start smaller, then move up as you grow. Before you can bake a cake, you need all the ingredients and equipment to do it. Your first business may not be your last. Figure out where you are, what leverage you do have, and start from there, instead of trying to duplicate someone else's success. That's how they did it.
Finding Your Balance
Now what happens if you are just that guy who can't seem to get it right, no matter how many times you try?
Don't worry, I was there. Keep trying. But be open to reality.
You must balance who you think you are and what you are offering, with what people need/want and how people will perceive you.
Think about where you're at. Think about what you're projecting. Remember that it's not just about what you say and do, it's also about what your audience hears and understands.
Are you approaching the right target?
Do you even know what that target looks like? Where are the people you're trying to reach?
Have you sought out people that fit the demographic you're going for and asked their honest opinion? Have you done your homework on the market?
Other than being a billionaire and living like a rock-star, what are your realistic goals for the project?
Do you have an objective view of how you appear to your audience?
Most important, have you found your identity?
Here's an example...
Say my desire is to be a heavy weight ultimate fighting champion (not really, but go with it). The problem is, I will never be a UFC fighter. I'm just not built for it. And even though I can handle myself in a scrap, no one would believe it by looking at me!
I have two choices:
A. Walk around thinking I'm tough, but in reality everyone thinks I'm a total poser.
B. Accept it, and instead, identify what I CAN be, and become the heavy weight champion at THAT.
Chicks, investors, and customers dig CONFIDENCE more than anything. They want to be a part of a winning team. It's a psychological thing. And true confidence comes from being good at what you do, and knowing that it's useful to a certain amount of people.
Find that balance, and you will boost your chance to succeed.
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