Grappling with doubts over age and situation

[peace750]

Hi guys

I'm 34 years old and unmarried. Due to several issues (mainly anxiety and depression) I've never been able to do well financially etc. My income is erratic(I work some days in a shop and earn my income that way, nothing much but I'm grateful). My anxiety really affected me badly during my mid to late 20s and even a bit now and it's held me back(anyone who has been through this will recognise how debilitating it can be).

I want to do something for my financial security and I've found this forum to be very inspiring and it has lit up something in me. Just reading posts on this forum is making me more determined than I have been in a long time.

My age (34) holds me back and I think I may be a bit old to really get into the things that a lot of people on here are doing or even to take major action. I would want to marry and have kids one day but don't know if I've passed the boat financially and age wise. I feel depressed just thinking about it.

I would like to do something Internet related and I will research and learn as much as I can but I'm clueless as to where to even begin.

Many thanks for reading this and I would be most grateful for any advice.

 

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[healthstatus]

My age (34) holds me back and I think I may be a bit old to really get into the things that a lot of people on here are doing or even to take major action.

Dude, excuses don't work around here, I started HealthStatus.com when I was 36, one kid in college and another in high school, that was a little pressure. I am now almost 54 and getting ready to fund another startup.

 

[Mattie]

So what are you doing about your anxiety now? Fear is more the culprit and turns into anxiety. What are your fears and what are you going to do to get over them? You really have to take a look at what is stopping you or they just become excuses and you self-sabotage yourself.

 

[Delmania]

My age (34) holds me back and I think I may be a bit old to really get into the things that a lot of people on here are doing or even to take major action.

Colonel Sanders started KFC when he was 62.

The only time it's truly too late is when you're dead. Oh yeah, go see a doctor for depression and anxiety.

 

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[Duane]

There are a lot of divorced/unmarried women looking to remarry in there 30s. I know of a few myself, friends of mine. The problem is finding a women that still wants to have kids.

Models by Mark Manson is a good book, but nothing will help you better than finding someone to go out with (doesn't have to be at night) that will push you outside your comfort zone if you can't do it yourself.

 

[Get Right]

Welcome to the forum @peace750 ! I've been around that block before and I have a few years on you. Here's what I would advise my previous self:

1. You have to change your mind (thinking) if you want to change your circumstance(s).
2. Figure out your diet (what you eat) and do a better job fueling yourself.
3. Do something strenuous once a day. (I like to build things - furniture, boats etc.)
4. Analyze what you do on a daily basis. Does it make you happy, does it upset you. I try to push everything I do into a "category" of how it is helping or hurting my personal development. I then deal with it (or eliminate) accordingly.
5. Go ahead and start whatever you want to do. Chances are, it won't be the "end" game business we all dream about. It will probably lead to a better business in the future - one in which you are better prepared for now. (I lost count of how many businesses I started).
6. Give back to others that might not have gotten as far as yourself.

These would have sped my entrepreneurial journey up a good bit.

 

[Late Start]

I'm 35, soon to be 36 - unless you've got an inoperable, malignant tumor, it's never too late.

In terms of anxiety and depression, I've been there and done that - still deal with it every day. Have you seen anyone about it? There's no shame in seeking help - heck, I'm going to see my shrink (who I've seen on and off since I was 13) tomorrow afternoon. While I feel that America is in general over-medicated, anti-depressants treat a variety of very real, very diagnosable issues. I take a maintenance prescription nightly, otherwise within a week I'm a miserable human being, an within two weeks I'm Howard Hughes reborn.

It can be overcome, and it can be done, there are lots of people here on this forum who are proof of that. I'm just in the barely beginning stage of my fastlane journey, but I see it like this: if someone else has accomplished something, there is no reason I can't. My go-to inspiration is Pat Flynn. Pat is currently pulling over 100k a month in revenue. If I can accomplish just 1/10th of what Pat has accomplished, my wife and I no longer have to work, we'll get to see our girls grow up before our eyes, and we'll be living a life I never thought was possible. Just *one tenth*. What makes Pat different from your average person? Genius level IQ? No. Born with a trust fund to draw from? No. Inherited genetics that made him predisposed to talents that allow him to make millions? Nope.

He simply believed he could do it, and was willing to work for it. Those two things are what separate most people from exceptionally successful people, and the cool thing is, anybody can adopt that mindset. If age feels like a millstone around your neck, start working out - I was 406 pounds a year ago, and felt certain I was gonna be dead by 50. I'm down 73 pounds now, and while I've got a ways to go, just dropping that much has me mentally feeling 10 years younger. I no longer have the self-imposed spectre of cardiac arrest at 50 hanging over my head, and that alone has increased my optimism and self-confidence immeasurably.

 

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[Bouncing Soul]

Here's the real story- most successful founders are older than mid-30s.

Get professional treatment and do the work. Keep your job, work on your business, work on your health with some modest exercise and don't eat like an a**hole. You are single, you have time for it all. You'll become the man you want to be and therefore, the one more mature women want. Don't worry about age and kids either...I'm older than you and have little babies. One step at a time, slow progress every day.

 

[Vigilante]

I love ya, and your sentiment, but it makes zero F*cking sense. It's an irrational, unsubstantiated excuse.

I am far older than you, and after I sell my current company (which I started when I was over a million dollars in consumer debt) I will take a few months to "retire" and then I will go do it again, from scratch.

Stop feeling sorry for yourself. Stop comparing your lot in life against 18 year old freak child millionaires. Stop blubbering.

Your anxiety and depression are NOT why you haven't been successful. There are many people here on the forum and in the world battling demons. You're not a special case in that regard. You just happen to use it as an excuse, and they don't.

You're not successful because you haven't done a damn thing to make yourself successful. It begins and ends there, and until you can look in the mirror and acknowledge that, and get over it... you're never going to do shit. You allow yourself too much sympathy.

I'll never read another one of your posts if it is filled with all of the reasons you can't do something. I'd rather watch paint dry.

Post that you tried something and fell flat on your face, and we'll help you get up and start again. But please, for the love of God, don't spend another single day feeling sorry for yourself.

Get up off your a$$ and make your future be different.

 

[Vigilante]

http://www.businessinsider.com/the-story-of-the-corcoran-group-2011-3

 

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[MJ DeMarco]

You all are posting some great responses. I thank you, just in case this fellow is a DRIVE-BY and never hears it.

Posted: 11:34AM
Last seen: 11:37AM.

 

[TonyStark]

There are many posts on here about companies that are internet "related". Just do a quick search and you'll find dozens of gold posts. The consensus here is Amazon FBA or Ebay. I would say start there and see what you can come up with.

 

[peace750]

I love ya, and your sentiment, but it makes zero F*cking sense. It's an irrational, unsubstantiated excuse.

I am far older than you, and after I sell my current company (which I started when I was over a million dollars in consumer debt) I will take a few months to "retire" and then I will go do it again, from scratch.

Stop feeling sorry for yourself. Stop comparing your lot in life against 18 year old freak child millionaires. Stop blubbering.

Your anxiety and depression are NOT why you haven't been successful. There are many people here on the forum and in the world battling demons. You're not a special case in that regard. You just happen to use it as an excuse, and they don't.

You're not successful because you haven't done a damn thing to make yourself successful. It begins and ends there, and until you can look in the mirror and acknowledge that, and get over it... you're never going to do shit. You allow yourself too much sympathy.

I'll never read another one of your posts if it is filled with all of the reasons you can't do something. I'd rather watch paint dry.

Post that you tried something and fell flat on your face, and we'll help you get up and start again. But please, for the love of God, don't spend another single day feeling sorry for yourself.

Get up off your a$$ and make your future be different.

I agree with everything you have said. I really needed to hear that and I thank you for it. You're right. It's time I got up off my backside and start taking action.

I'm very appreciate for all the advice on this thread from everyone. It's excellent advice and I will act on it. I'm going to do my best and work hard to make things happen for me positively.

 

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[Supa]

I'm a bit younger, but I know those excuses too well. They don't do anything good for you. I kept telling myself excuse after excuse for years. I told myself "man why can't I just be thin like all those other guys?" or "it's so unfair that I'm fat" the only thing it did for me was to feel a bit better for a short moment. Do you think I lost a single f*cking gram over those years of telling myself excuses? Nah I even gained some kg.

Same goes for business. I kept telling myself "ooh I'm just not good enough" or "I just can't work that hard". Same as with weight, I did NOTHING in regards of starting or working on a business.

I didn't lose weight because I was a lazy idiot who loved to eat at McDonald's and the nearby Pizza restaurant every 2 days. I didn't start a business because I rather watched TV Show after TV Show and do nothing, every day.

Never let any excuse make you stop or not even start the journey to your goals, just because it's "easier". Easy things don't get you to your goals.

 

[mrarcher]

Have a read of Dale Carnegies How to stop worrying and start living. I found it helpful.

 

[Lex DeVille]

Hi guys

I'm 34 years old and unmarried. Due to several issues (mainly anxiety and depression) I've never been able to do well financially etc. My income is erratic(I work some days in a shop and earn my income that way, nothing much but I'm grateful). My anxiety really affected me badly during my mid to late 20s and even a bit now and it's held me back(anyone who has been through this will recognise how debilitating it can be).

I want to do something for my financial security and I've found this forum to be very inspiring and it has lit up something in me. Just reading posts on this forum is making me more determined than I have been in a long time.

My age (34) holds me back and I think I may be a bit old to really get into the things that a lot of people on here are doing or even to take major action. I would want to marry and have kids one day but don't know if I've passed the boat financially and age wise. I feel depressed just thinking about it.

I would like to do something Internet related and I will research and learn as much as I can but I'm clueless as to where to even begin.

Many thanks for reading this and I would be most grateful for any advice.

You are not your anxiety. You are not your depression. You are not your fear.

You may experience anxiety. You may experience depression. You may experience fear.

You may also choose to do something about it. You may choose to live free.

Or you may not.

None of those things hold you back.

Only you hold you back.

To everyone else who posted in this thread...

Thanks in advance.

If I turn old, which I doubt since I decided to stop aging at 25, and if I get stuck, I hope I find my way back to threads like this.

 

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[Weaponize]

My age (34) holds me back and I think I may be a bit old to really get into the things that a lot of people on here are doing or even to take major action.

Only a young person would say/think this

 

[Weaponize]

http://www.businessinsider.com/the-story-of-the-corcoran-group-2011-3

Excellent interview! Thanks for linking to that...

Liked it so much I took some notes, for my future reference, on what I found to really be the key points:

"I remember i stepped into a pot of luck one day because i had no money for advertising, it was a terrible real estate recession and i was trying to think of way to shut up my agents [her employees] from complaining that I didn't advertise. They wanted ads, they wanted ads.

So I decided to write a report and I named it the Corcoran Report. i typed it up myself on my electric typewriter, I took my 11 sales, averaged them out, it came out to 54,800 and I simply mailed my Corcoran Report to every writer at the New York Times that day.

Sports writers, Business writers, anybody, in an envelope, and would you believe within a week and a half i was on the front page of the Real Estate section. Not a single reporter called me, no one qualified the numbers, and there i was, the first line was 'according to Barbara Corcoran'.

I realized that day I had a partner in the New York Times. I started churning out reports monthly from that point forward for the next 20 years."

"They don't do this [other real estate agents] because they think the press is going to call them if they are really good at their trade. I learned that if you churn out the numbers the press is going to call you, not for your opinion, but because they need the numbers. they have their stories but they need to quantify those numbers for their story. So i simply became a churning house of numbers for the press. Anything they wanted, I would turn up the numbers."

 

[Vigilante]

Last Post by: peace750, Jan 12, 2016

peace750 was last seen:
Jan 16, 2016

 

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[mws87]

Hi guys

I'm 34 years old and unmarried. Due to several issues (mainly anxiety and depression) I've never been able to do well financially etc. My income is erratic(I work some days in a shop and earn my income that way, nothing much but I'm grateful). My anxiety really affected me badly during my mid to late 20s and even a bit now and it's held me back(anyone who has been through this will recognise how debilitating it can be).

I want to do something for my financial security and I've found this forum to be very inspiring and it has lit up something in me. Just reading posts on this forum is making me more determined than I have been in a long time.

My age (34) holds me back and I think I may be a bit old to really get into the things that a lot of people on here are doing or even to take major action. I would want to marry and have kids one day but don't know if I've passed the boat financially and age wise. I feel depressed just thinking about it.

I would like to do something Internet related and I will research and learn as much as I can but I'm clueless as to where to even begin.

Many thanks for reading this and I would be most grateful for any advice.

Your mindset and self-doubt is killing you, man. I know because I have gotten pretty heavy into depression and anxiety. Hell, even recently, I had begun having serious anxiety problems. GET HELP FOR IT. I saw a professional, years ago, and also began becoming more active and making lifestyle changes. That anxiety and depression shit evaporated real quick. It came back recently, however, it was my own fault due to neglecting my physical (and mental) health. Went back and saw the same doctor, felt immediately more relieved upon talking to her. Got my a$$ out of the house and back on the pavement to get my health in order. Needless to say, my motivation has been shooting through the roof lately and I'm feeling like the good me, the one who signed up to this forum and read TMF . To put this in perspective, I am (er, used to be) one of the biggest, self-loathing human beings I've ever known. Once upon a time, I had begun to develop agoraphobia and hypochondria--I literally thought I had every disease in the book, for no damn reason other than my own thoughts running wild. I could blame it on things outside of my control, but at the end of the day, it was me doing it to myself. Although depression and anxiety is due to a chemical imbalance, it was me who caused the imbalance, therefore it was up to me to get my head right. This sounds so cliche, but I honestly feel like if I'm able to pull through it, anyone is.

I am assuming your anxiety is stemming from your constant thoughts and worries regarding your age, current circumstance and accomplishments (or lack thereof) in life. The most important thing I learned on my own is to LEAVE THE ISSUES WHERE THEY BELONG. For example: worrying about money, business, etc. is going to do me (and you) no good while I'm going for my daily run--it's only going to further my anxiety and further reduce my motivation. The biggest (and worst) thing constant worry does is instill the feelings of no control. Dude--you have complete control over your life, believe it or not. Go for a hike, get outdoors, shit--even go and sit at a starbucks for no reason at all. And when you do, ask yourself "who's forcing me to not do this? Who forced me to come here?"--nobody other than yourself. Lack of control is nothing more than a self-defeating belief; it's bullshit.

I won't ramble on as there are tons of great posts in this thread. The biggest takeaway you should have from all of this is you are in control of your life, not your perceived fear or anxiety. You're the one creating it, not some malignant deity sitting below the earth's crust instilling voodoo upon you.

Best wishes, now change some lives (including yours).

I am far older than you, and after I sell my current company (which I started when I was over a million dollars in consumer debt)

I read through a lot—probably too many—of your posts and don't recall hearing about this. Freaking incredible, man. Not to stray from the current thread, but, is there anywhere I can read the @Vigilante origin story? I've read your intro, just don't remember this part.

 

[mws87]

Last Post by: peace750, Jan 12, 2016

peace750 was last seen:
Jan 16, 2016

Dammit, I had a feeling I should have reserved the time it took me to reply for something else ;[

 

[Vigilante]

Your mindset and self-doubt is killing you, man. I know because I have gotten pretty heavy into depression and anxiety. Hell, even recently, I had begun having serious anxiety problems. GET HELP FOR IT. I saw a professional, years ago, and also began becoming more active and making lifestyle changes. That anxiety and depression shit evaporated real quick. It came back recently, however, it was my own fault due to neglecting my physical (and mental) health. Went back and saw the same doctor, felt immediately more relieved upon talking to her. Got my a$$ out of the house and back on the pavement to get my health in order. Needless to say, my motivation has been shooting through the roof lately and I'm feeling like the good me, the one who signed up to this forum and read TMF . To put this in perspective, I am (er, used to be) one of the biggest, self-loathing human beings I've ever known. Once upon a time, I had begun to develop agoraphobia and hypochondria--I literally thought I had every disease in the book, for no damn reason other than my own thoughts running wild. I could blame it on things outside of my control, but at the end of the day, it was me doing it to myself. Although depression and anxiety is due to a chemical imbalance, it was me who caused the imbalance, therefore it was up to me to get my head right. This sounds so cliche, but I honestly feel like if I'm able to pull through it, anyone is.

I am assuming your anxiety is stemming from your constant thoughts and worries regarding your age, current circumstance and accomplishments (or lack thereof) in life. The most important thing I learned on my own is to LEAVE THE ISSUES WHERE THEY BELONG. For example: worrying about money, business, etc. is going to do me (and you) no good while I'm going for my daily run--it's only going to further my anxiety and further reduce my motivation. The biggest (and worst) thing constant worry does is instill the feelings of no control. Dude--you have complete control over your life, believe it or not. Go for a hike, get outdoors, shit--even go and sit at a starbucks for no reason at all. And when you do, ask yourself "who's forcing me to not do this? Who forced me to come here?"--nobody other than yourself. Lack of control is nothing more than a self-defeating belief; it's bullshit.

I won't ramble on as there are tons of great posts in this thread. The biggest takeaway you should have from all of this is you are in control of your life, not your perceived fear or anxiety. You're the one creating it, not some malignant deity sitting below the earth's crust instilling voodoo upon you.

Best wishes, now change some lives (including yours).


I read through a lot—probably too many—of your posts and don't recall hearing about this. Freaking incredible, man. Not to stray from the current thread, but, is there anywhere I can read the @Vigilante origin story? I've read your intro, just don't remember this part.

Well, bits and pieces. The crux of the story of the debt/loss is in the podcast that I did recalling the day I lost my company. Have you heard that? I can find a link.

I was rolling large, and spending too large. Two houses (with mortgages), multiple cars, etc... and it all slammed to a screeching halt on a single day.

 

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[Weaponize]

Have you heard that? I can find a link.

I haven't (wasn't aware a podcast even exists). I'd love a link

 

[Weaponize]

Last Post by: peace750, Jan 12, 2016

peace750 was last seen:
Jan 16, 2016

It's funny. I've begun to think that it doesn't even really matter if this was a drive-by. It's not so much for the OP as it is for every other who stumbles upon it afterwards with the same/similar issue...

 

[Vigilante]

I haven't (wasn't aware a podcast even exists). I'd love a link

Skip the first segment, up to about 25:30

It doesn't get any more raw for me than this. I don't like listening to it.

http://www.twincitiesnewstalk.com/o...4/mind-your-business-is-college-the-13032812/

 

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[Weaponize]

Skip the first segment, up to about 25:30

It doesn't get any more raw for me than this. I don't like listening to it.

http://www.twincitiesnewstalk.com/o...4/mind-your-business-is-college-the-13032812/

Thanks for sharing that! I can't even imagine how hard it was to talk about, let alone go through.

It definitely peaks ones interest to understand what happened, what the setup was and what/how it all transpired. But I'm sure that would be difficult to discuss.

 

[mws87]

Skip the first segment, up to about 25:30

It doesn't get any more raw for me than this. I don't like listening to it.

http://www.twincitiesnewstalk.com/o...4/mind-your-business-is-college-the-13032812/

Sweet, thanks! Listening now. You sound a lot more relaxed than I imagined. I don't know why, but I always hear your posts in a Sam Elliott voice in my head

edit-- just finished listening to it.. wow, crazy stuff. Can't even describe the amounts of admiration I have for you. Gonna have to listen to this on the regular!

 

[Supa]

Skip the first segment, up to about 25:30

It doesn't get any more raw for me than this. I don't like listening to it.

http://www.twincitiesnewstalk.com/o...4/mind-your-business-is-college-the-13032812/

That podcast was just wow, a bit lost for words rn tbh.. Rep++

 

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[Vigilante]

And the takeaway? I survived. It didn't kill me. Fear has lost it's sting. You can stretch out and take risks, and even crash and burn and live to tell about it. Complacency is the enemy of greatness. I was talking to some friends at church a few weeks back, talking about how scar skin is tougher than regular skin. If it took me going through that fire to come out the other side, than I did it. I made it. You can make it. You can start from zero and build. You can start from where ever today finds you and build. You can start from a place where it feels like you can't breathe, and build. If you are ahead of where I was when I hit rock bottom, you have a head start. I put this out there simply to answer the questions like this OP has about what to do when life feels like it is completely stacked against you.

Toughest podcast I have ever done, and I likely hopefully won't ever open that compartment again. I am negotiating now to restart the podcasting (because I really enjoyed it) but almost everything else we did was positive.

Glad you guys got something from it. Thats why I did it. And it maybe was somewhat cathartic for me.

 

[Kelly C]

How can you feel old at 34?