In-between Living Situation: What would you do?

[TeacherToOwner]

Hi all,

Long story short, I'm 34 years old, recently engaged (as of a week ago), no kids (yet). I was working as a teacher for a number of years, and this past December I took a job in a school as an Administrator. The position makes a lot more money but it's located an hour and a half away from where I was living (which happened to be 10 minutes from my girlfriend/fiance). So, I moved in with my mother who lives about 35 minutes way from my current job. I come visit my fiance on weekends. I'll leave work Friday, and go 55 miles, which takes 2 hours to arrive back at her place.

Moving into my mom's has been no picnic. I sleep on a fold out couch, and deal with her abusive ways. She does occasionally have a nice side (as she's extremely hot and cold). She makes it a point to belittle me, my fiance, my father, and more on a weekly basis, but I digress.

The benefit/upside is I haven't been paying rent. Now, she wants me to pay her 400-500 a month to stay. Everything in my area is extremely expensive and I want to live as cheaply as possible so I could save up, invest in a business, and a multi-family home. I also can afford to buy something now, but I don't want to because ideally I'd like to find a job closer to where I was living before, but is hasn't been easy. I don't want to buy a house and commit to an area and job where I don't intend on staying.

I've taken costs into consideration, i.e. gas and all the mileage i'm putting on my car going from my mom's place to work, and then from work to my fiance's on weekends, and as we all know gas isn't cheap right now.

If you were me, would you stay at my moms and deal with the abuse and long commutes but pay cheap rent (400-500 a month, + adding up all the gas, tolls, and everything else), and suck it up until I find a new job/start a business?... OR would you look into renting closer to my job, driving a lot less and having more time, BUT paying considerable more rent? I'd be going from the 400-500 a month + gas and other expenses to probably around 1200-1500 a month if I'm lucky, so it's kind of a big difference.

Would love to hear your thoughts! Thanks in advance!

 

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[Stargazer]

Any colleagues at your new school have a room to rent or know someone who does?

I bet someone would if you ask.

I certainly would not stay on a couch in a house and take verbal abuse from anyone, even if it is your mother.

Dan

 

[TeacherToOwner]

Any colleagues at your new school have a room to rent or know someone who does?

I bet someone would if you ask.

I certainly would not stay on a couch in a house and take verbal abuse from anyone, even if it is your mother.

Dan

Thanks Dan. One person here told me she has a tenant that MAY move out in November. She would charge me 1200.

I can look into room rentals, I just hate the idea of sharing a bathroom with strangers.

 

[fastlane_dad]

Hi all,

Long story short, I'm 34 years old, recently engaged (as of a week ago), no kids (yet). I was working as a teacher for a number of years, and this past December I took a job in a school as an Administrator. The position makes a lot more money but it's located an hour and a half away from where I was living (which happened to be 10 minutes from my girlfriend/fiance). So, I moved in with my mother who lives about 35 minutes way from my current job. I come visit my fiance on weekends. I'll leave work Friday, and go 55 miles, which takes 2 hours to arrive back at her place.

Moving into my mom's has been no picnic. I sleep on a fold out couch, and deal with her abusive ways. She does occasionally have a nice side (as she's extremely hot and cold). She makes it a point to belittle me, my fiance, my father, and more on a weekly basis, but I digress.

The benefit/upside is I haven't been paying rent. Now, she wants me to pay her 400-500 a month to stay. Everything in my area is extremely expensive and I want to live as cheaply as possible so I could save up, invest in a business, and a multi-family home. I also can afford to buy something now, but I don't want to because ideally I'd like to find a job closer to where I was living before, but is hasn't been easy. I don't want to buy a house and commit to an area and job where I don't intend on staying.

I've taken costs into consideration, i.e. gas and all the mileage i'm putting on my car going from my mom's place to work, and then from work to my fiance's on weekends, and as we all know gas isn't cheap right now.

If you were me, would you stay at my moms and deal with the abuse and long commutes but pay cheap rent (400-500 a month, + adding up all the gas, tolls, and everything else), and suck it up until I find a new job/start a business?... OR would you look into renting closer to my job, driving a lot less and having more time, BUT paying considerable more rent? I'd be going from the 400-500 a month + gas and other expenses to probably around 1200-1500 a month if I'm lucky, so it's kind of a big difference.

Would love to hear your thoughts! Thanks in advance!

There is no price on your mental health - well-being if you are dealing with an abusive parent. You will never be in the right head space to look for new jobs, start your own business etc. Get out ASAP, find a place to rent and become independent. That is worth the price of your sanity.

FASTLANE / business is extremely difficult as it is to get all your ducks in a row --- and if you don't have a completely supportive system around you that will go nowhere fast.

Make the investment to MOVE ASAP, you won't regret it.

 

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[TeacherToOwner]

There is no price on your mental health - well-being if you are dealing with an abusive parent. You will never be in the right head space to look for new jobs, start your own business etc. Get out ASAP, find a place to rent and become independent. That is worth the price of your sanity.

FASTLANE / business is extremely difficult as it is to get all your ducks in a row --- and if you don't have a completely supportive system around you that will go nowhere fast.

Make the investment to MOVE ASAP, you won't regret it.

Thank you, this was great and very much needed.

 

[JKm]

Thank you, this was great and very much needed.

Looks like you already decided to move out, and I`m glad you choose that way.

I`ve been on similar situation on past. My choice was move out from abusive parent house. As I remember now, that was the great choice not to stay. Even a phone call with them is harmful, you know.

Now, I`ve cutted off the relationship with parents itself. Abuse is no joke man. Mental damage you receiving could never be an easy deal. Hope you make it out, ASAP

 

[Johnny boy]

What would you tell someone who said the following?

"Every day I get 5 pennies from work, but I've been thinking about changing careers because there's another job that pays 5 pennies too, but the job I'm at, I have to give a penny to Greg who bullies me and takes one of my pennies. I currently live on the 4 pennies and save 1 penny, what should I do?"

You would say "jesus christ you are entirely focused on tiny tiny things and are way too distracted on things that mean nothing. Think bigger".

You are the "5 pennies" guy, so I'll say it:

Jesus christ, you are entirely focused on tiny tiny things. Think bigger.

You could go put in some elbow grease and make $500 a day doing some side work. Literally something as basic as brushing moss off of someone's roof for a few hours.

2-4 days of side work and you pay for your own cheap place, problem solved.

You're a teacher, you don't do SHIT most of the year. You have SO much time.

Your fiancé is the real trooper. "Hi, I'm 34 and live with my mom, marry me?"

You need to figure out your large, long term goals and stop thinking so small, then you need to hustle your a$$ off, move out of mommy's house, start making some real cash and probably get 10 other things in your life in order. Are you fat? change it. Are you sloppy? Change it. Are you lame? Change it.

Dial in your diet, fitness, style, cleanliness, attitude and mindset, finances and business, work ethic, discipline, and social life.

Why buy a house? As an asset? (retarded, you think housing is likely going up soon? lol) As cash flow? (Your returns will be abysmal compared to if you had even a mediocre business idea).

If you're ever thinking about how to save a few hundred bucks, you need to slap yourself and focus on income.

Now the question is "given your situation, what is the best way to increase income?" forget about lifestyle, you can focus on your lifestyle when you make more than 10k a month at least.

 

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[MJ DeMarco]

How is this even a question in your mind? You're 34 living with your mother and have a good job, a job where you are entrusted to teach children how to be adults. Move out and be an adult. Make the hard decisions and the hard choices.

 

[Guest-5ty5s4]

Hi all,

Long story short, I'm 34 years old, recently engaged (as of a week ago), no kids (yet). I was working as a teacher for a number of years, and this past December I took a job in a school as an Administrator. The position makes a lot more money but it's located an hour and a half away from where I was living (which happened to be 10 minutes from my girlfriend/fiance). So, I moved in with my mother who lives about 35 minutes way from my current job. I come visit my fiance on weekends. I'll leave work Friday, and go 55 miles, which takes 2 hours to arrive back at her place.

Moving into my mom's has been no picnic. I sleep on a fold out couch, and deal with her abusive ways. She does occasionally have a nice side (as she's extremely hot and cold). She makes it a point to belittle me, my fiance, my father, and more on a weekly basis, but I digress.

The benefit/upside is I haven't been paying rent. Now, she wants me to pay her 400-500 a month to stay. Everything in my area is extremely expensive and I want to live as cheaply as possible so I could save up, invest in a business, and a multi-family home. I also can afford to buy something now, but I don't want to because ideally I'd like to find a job closer to where I was living before, but is hasn't been easy. I don't want to buy a house and commit to an area and job where I don't intend on staying.

I've taken costs into consideration, i.e. gas and all the mileage i'm putting on my car going from my mom's place to work, and then from work to my fiance's on weekends, and as we all know gas isn't cheap right now.

If you were me, would you stay at my moms and deal with the abuse and long commutes but pay cheap rent (400-500 a month, + adding up all the gas, tolls, and everything else), and suck it up until I find a new job/start a business?... OR would you look into renting closer to my job, driving a lot less and having more time, BUT paying considerable more rent? I'd be going from the 400-500 a month + gas and other expenses to probably around 1200-1500 a month if I'm lucky, so it's kind of a big difference.

Would love to hear your thoughts! Thanks in advance!

You are a man, right? You want to be an owner - a boss? You've gotta start acting like it.

Stand up to your mom. Get independent. This is a tiny win in the universe, but this is the WHOLE UNIVERSE in your universe.

You need to make some big changes in your life to start moving towards owning your life. Your fiancee will be hella impressed too once you start acting this way.

 

[TheJon]

Hi all,

Long story short, I'm 34 years old, recently engaged (as of a week ago), no kids (yet). I was working as a teacher for a number of years, and this past December I took a job in a school as an Administrator. The position makes a lot more money but it's located an hour and a half away from where I was living (which happened to be 10 minutes from my girlfriend/fiance). So, I moved in with my mother who lives about 35 minutes way from my current job. I come visit my fiance on weekends. I'll leave work Friday, and go 55 miles, which takes 2 hours to arrive back at her place.

Moving into my mom's has been no picnic. I sleep on a fold out couch, and deal with her abusive ways. She does occasionally have a nice side (as she's extremely hot and cold). She makes it a point to belittle me, my fiance, my father, and more on a weekly basis, but I digress.

The benefit/upside is I haven't been paying rent. Now, she wants me to pay her 400-500 a month to stay. Everything in my area is extremely expensive and I want to live as cheaply as possible so I could save up, invest in a business, and a multi-family home. I also can afford to buy something now, but I don't want to because ideally I'd like to find a job closer to where I was living before, but is hasn't been easy. I don't want to buy a house and commit to an area and job where I don't intend on staying.

I've taken costs into consideration, i.e. gas and all the mileage i'm putting on my car going from my mom's place to work, and then from work to my fiance's on weekends, and as we all know gas isn't cheap right now.

If you were me, would you stay at my moms and deal with the abuse and long commutes but pay cheap rent (400-500 a month, + adding up all the gas, tolls, and everything else), and suck it up until I find a new job/start a business?... OR would you look into renting closer to my job, driving a lot less and having more time, BUT paying considerable more rent? I'd be going from the 400-500 a month + gas and other expenses to probably around 1200-1500 a month if I'm lucky, so it's kind of a big difference.

Would love to hear your thoughts! Thanks in advance!

Hey man! What part of the world are you in? If you're in the US I can prob walk you through buying multi unit or cashflow positive property without a bunch of money. I did this a year ago

I'd def head out from moms house. There are alot of options just be creative

 

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[TeacherToOwner]

How is this even a question in your mind? You're 34 living with your mother and have a good job, a job where you are entrusted to teach children how to be adults. Move out and be an adult. Make the hard decisions and the hard choices.

Thanks, I'm not a teacher though; I'm a Vice Principal, but yes I agree.

You are a man, right? You want to be an owner - a boss? You've gotta start acting like it.

Stand up to your mom. Get independent. This is a tiny win in the universe, but this is the WHOLE UNIVERSE in your universe.

You need to make some big changes in your life to start moving towards owning your life. Your fiancee will be hella impressed too once you start acting this way.

Yes, yes, and yes. You're absolutely right. I need to do start bossing up or forever look back at poor decisions, or inability to act in order to better myself. The changes start NOW. Thank you! I needed this!

What would you tell someone who said the following?

"Every day I get 5 pennies from work, but I've been thinking about changing careers because there's another job that pays 5 pennies too, but the job I'm at, I have to give a penny to Greg who bullies me and takes one of my pennies. I currently live on the 4 pennies and save 1 penny, what should I do?"

You would say "jesus christ you are entirely focused on tiny tiny things and are way too distracted on things that mean nothing. Think bigger".

You are the "5 pennies" guy, so I'll say it:

Jesus christ, you are entirely focused on tiny tiny things. Think bigger.

You could go put in some elbow grease and make $500 a day doing some side work. Literally something as basic as brushing moss off of someone's roof for a few hours.

2-4 days of side work and you pay for your own cheap place, problem solved.

You're a teacher, you don't do SHIT most of the year. You have SO much time.

Your fiancé is the real trooper. "Hi, I'm 34 and live with my mom, marry me?"

You need to figure out your large, long term goals and stop thinking so small, then you need to hustle your a$$ off, move out of mommy's house, start making some real cash and probably get 10 other things in your life in order. Are you fat? change it. Are you sloppy? Change it. Are you lame? Change it.

Dial in your diet, fitness, style, cleanliness, attitude and mindset, finances and business, work ethic, discipline, and social life.

Why buy a house? As an asset? (retarded, you think housing is likely going up soon? lol) As cash flow? (Your returns will be abysmal compared to if you had even a mediocre business idea).

If you're ever thinking about how to save a few hundred bucks, you need to slap yourself and focus on income.

Now the question is "given your situation, what is the best way to increase income?" forget about lifestyle, you can focus on your lifestyle when you make more than 10k a month at least.

Thank you as well. My fitness, style, cleanliness, etc isn't the problem, but I appreciate the advice.

I'd like to thank everyone very much for taking the time to respond to a complete stranger. I appreciate all of the needed advice. As of yesterday I signed a one year lease for a studio apartment. It's $1500 a month, comes almost fully furnished, and utilities are included. It's in a nice area, with a shopping center down the street, very close to a gym, and most importantly, I will get PEACE of MIND. I packed up the last of my bags today and I will be bringing everything on Sunday.

I've also found out that my fiance is pregnant, so I really need to make moves. Once I'm all settled in this weekend, we will do some celebrating (to celebrate the freedom, and the pregnancy) and some talking. We will discuss how we can save more money, and limit excessive spending, and how we can earn additional income. I'll get back to brain storming ideas, looking up wholesale products, and/or business to buy on Flippa or Shopify Exchange Market Place. I will also do what I can in order to get a job closer to her parents place so they can help us with the kid and because all of our family is located within that area. The main focus will be on starting a business, but the job will help to pay the bills until then!

 

[Guest-5ty5s4]

Thanks, I'm not a teacher though; I'm a Vice Principal, but yes I agree.


Yes, yes, and yes. You're absolutely right. I need to do start bossing up or forever look back at poor decisions, or inability to act in order to better myself. The changes start NOW. Thank you! I needed this!


Thank you as well. My fitness, style, cleanliness, etc isn't the problem, but I appreciate the advice.

I'd like to thank everyone very much for taking the time to respond to a complete stranger. I appreciate all of the needed advice. As of yesterday I signed a one year lease for a studio apartment. It's $1500 a month, comes almost fully furnished, and utilities are included. It's in a nice area, with a shopping center down the street, very close to a gym, and most importantly, I will get PEACE of MIND. I packed up the last of my bags today and I will be bringing everything on Sunday.

I've also found out that my fiance is pregnant, so I really need to make moves. Once I'm all settled in this weekend, we will do some celebrating (to celebrate the freedom, and the pregnancy) and some talking. We will discuss how we can save more money, and limit excessive spending, and how we can earn additional income. I'll get back to brain storming ideas, looking up wholesale products, and/or business to buy on Flippa or Shopify Exchange Market Place. I will also do what I can in order to get a job closer to her parents place so they can help us with the kid and because all of our family is located within that area. The main focus will be on starting a business, but the job will help to pay the bills until then!

Dude - you have a great mindset! You took the feedback really well. I'm excited for you. It's going to be a lot of hard work but you can handle this.

Very smart to keep the job while doing this, too. I wish you all the best.