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GOLD Fastlane Parenting (Tips, Tactics...)

Discussion in 'People & Relationships' started by G-Man, Jan 31, 2017.

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  1. G-Man
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    G-Man Legendary Contributor Read Millionaire Fastlane I've Read UNSCRIPTED FASTLANE INSIDER Speedway Pass LEGENDARY CONTRIBUTOR

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    Rep+++ for that reminder. Getting the shit kicked out of me in an MMA/BJJ gym twice a week was one of the best things to ever happen to 14 year old me.... for so, so many reasons.
     
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  2. JAJT
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    JAJT Ha Ha! Business Read Millionaire Fastlane I've Read UNSCRIPTED FASTLANE INSIDER Speedway Pass LEGENDARY CONTRIBUTOR

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    My wife was just watching America's Got Talent with my 7 year old son.

    A 9 year old came on stage and sang to everyone.
    My son asked: "I want to do that, how do I get to do that?"
    My wife tried to clarify: "Oh, you want to sing in front of people? Or did you mean you just want to be in the audience to see these cool acts?"
    My son said "No. I want to be the one judging".

    #soproud
     
  3. Cparsons
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    Cparsons Bronze Contributor Read Millionaire Fastlane I've Read UNSCRIPTED Speedway Pass

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    I agree with this, but you have to find a place that focuses on the actual martial arts like BJJ - not a glorified baby sitter Tae-Kwon-Do place that just preaches about discipline while boring kids to death.
     
  4. Joe Cassandra
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    Joe Cassandra Gold Contributor Read Millionaire Fastlane Speedway Pass

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    When we found out our first child was coming..I was stuck in a crummy accounting job everyone thought I was "lucky" to have. At that point (May 2014), I had made $0 in revenue, failed businesses and action fakes...

    But, damn it, that kid jumping in my wife's tummy made me hyper-focused. Before that kid turned one, I quit my job with mountains of debt and disapproval of family (we actually lied for months saying I was still working at the accounting firm).

    Why'd I do it?
    • Because at some point in 18-20 years, my kid's going to have a choice between taking a risk and pushing the chips all in on herself...or, fall into the scripted life. I want to be her example of what happens when you bet on yourself.
    • I knew it'd take years for my wife and I to make buckets of money from my business, and thus needed that time-runway while the kid doesn't remember much. We do pretty well, but not as fiscally responsible as we should.
    • I want to attend her dance classes on Wednesdays starting in August. That's an example of what I wanted to be around for
    Then, we get moments like this where she wanted to put her table on the porch and have a picnic. I closed up my laptop and we had lunch. No boss to ask or PTO to use.

    1500683232778screensave.png

    Last week, we went and got pancakes.

    Today...I did yardwork...

    14922.jpeg


    On the flip side...I've found my daughter's spoiled as now she expects me to go everywhere with her during the day. "No kid, I won't go to the grocery store with you and mommy!"
     
  5. G-Man
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    G-Man Legendary Contributor Read Millionaire Fastlane I've Read UNSCRIPTED FASTLANE INSIDER Speedway Pass LEGENDARY CONTRIBUTOR

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    Inspired by the recent thread with debit cards target at kids, I thought, "This sounds like a convenient way to give the kid an allowance",... but that raised another question: Do you give the kid an allowance, or should money be given them for doing chores? If they're part of the family, why should they expect payment for participating in upkeep of the the family home?

    You parents out there with kids older than mine: When do you give kids money, and what conditions are attached to it? @amp0193 @JAJT @MidwestLandlord @Scot - and of course anyone else I haven't thought of.
     
  6. Scot
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    Scot Ductus Exemplo Read Millionaire Fastlane I've Read UNSCRIPTED FASTLANE INSIDER Speedway Pass LEGENDARY CONTRIBUTOR

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    I have cats and a dog.. no kids haha


    But this is something the wife and I talk about as we are in the process of starting a family. Our philosophy is work for your money. If they want an allowance, they have to work for it.
     
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  7. Cparsons
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    Cparsons Bronze Contributor Read Millionaire Fastlane I've Read UNSCRIPTED Speedway Pass

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    My kids aren't old enough yet, but I can see a few sides to this. My philosophy is that allowance is too much like a regular paycheck - I don't want them hooked on it. And chores are an expectation that shouldn't be compensated. So they will have to make money by coming up with ideas of additional services & then negotiate the price in order to make money. For instance, if mowing the lawn is a chore - they can notice the deck needs to be pressure washed, and offer to do it for $X.
     
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  8. amp0193
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    amp0193 Platinum Contributor Read Millionaire Fastlane I've Read UNSCRIPTED FASTLANE INSIDER Speedway Pass

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    My kid's almost 3. I haven't started giving her money yet, although I think she's ready.

    Curious to hear what others have done.
     
  9. Chitown
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    Chitown Silver Contributor Read Millionaire Fastlane FASTLANE INSIDER Speedway Pass Summit Attendee

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    @G-Man,

    When they make their beds and certain little chores around the household. I have two boys - ages 7 & 4 - and let me tell you, I should charge 'em rent, given how much food they eat! We want them to get used to the concept of earning money. I love my boys.:smile2:
     
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  10. JScott
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    JScott Platinum Contributor FASTLANE INSIDER Speedway Pass

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    We don't like the idea of associating the earning of money with a specific task or amount of time -- we'd rather our kids associate earning money with coming up with good ideas, working hard (whether you accomplish your goal or not) and not giving up. We give our kids the ability to exhibit these traits on a regular basis -- they are involved in all of our business discussions, and we encourage them to help us solve problems and make decisions related to our businesses.

    Of course, they are only 6 and 7 years old, so many of their suggestions are ridiculous ("You should build a Lego room in the next house we sell and fill it with Lego sets -- that way, lots of moms and dads will want to buy the house for their kids!"), but it the important part is that they are thinking in business terms and are contributing effort to our businesses. They are starting to think in terms of supply/demand (without knowing those terms), branding, differentiating from the competition, etc. They don't the nuances, but again, they are aware of the concepts and try to apply them using their own brand of kid logic.

    We're also starting to discuss the idea of a lemonade stand for next summer, and the kids are working on deciding things like product options, pricing, marketing tactics, etc. They are asking hard questions, coming up with ideas (some ridiculous, some not too bad) and are learning to think like business people.

    In return, when they ask for something that costs money, our response is normally along the lines of, "Absolutely, you came up with that idea about building a Lego room in our next house and that's something that mom and I are considering, so you deserve it." Or, we'll say, "Sure, we'll loan you the money for that, but you'll have to pay us back next summer with your lemonade stand money...are you sure it's worth it?" Or, we'll say, "Maybe if you work hard this week, you will earn it..."

    Not saying this is the right way to do things (we're just making this up as we go along), but it's working for us...
     
  11. G-Man
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    G-Man Legendary Contributor Read Millionaire Fastlane I've Read UNSCRIPTED FASTLANE INSIDER Speedway Pass LEGENDARY CONTRIBUTOR

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    If by ridiculous you mean awesome..... who wouldn't want a lego room?! :smile:
     
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  12. amp0193
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    amp0193 Platinum Contributor Read Millionaire Fastlane I've Read UNSCRIPTED FASTLANE INSIDER Speedway Pass

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    Maybe not for a rental property, but I rent airbnbs almost exclusively on how kid friendly they are. I.e. Lots of toys and playground outside. Especially when we do longer rentals.

    I would rent the house with the Lego room without a second thought, haha!
     
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  13. RHL
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    RHL 1 - 1 Coaching Available Read Millionaire Fastlane FASTLANE INSIDER Speedway Pass LEGENDARY CONTRIBUTOR Summit Attendee

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    Watching this thread with more interest now.

    One thing I can't really get on board with is the idea that you need to be careful about "imposing your beliefs" on your kids. Guys and gals, that happens naturally in ways you can't even being to imagine, and evolution or God (or both) made it that way. You had those beliefs and you lived and had children, so, the universe posits, they must be good enough to share. So your child acts like a little sponge, and your best efforts to let them decide things for themselves will be utterly impotent against their powers of observation. They will see what you sneer at for a microsecond, what you never talk about, and what you fixate on. They will see and learn, and there is nothing you can do about it.

    Everything that makes you distinctly human may be said to be the product of indoctrination. You use a bathroom rather than crapping in a cave because you were indoctrinated to do so. You write and can use math because of indoctrination. Since language and thinking are intimately connected, many of your higher brain functions may be said to actually be the product of indoctrination--of your brain being wired to desperately want you to be formed in your parent's image.

    My feeling is that we ought to "sin boldly" in this regard. Since it's gonna happen, evaluate your biases as well as you can, and then teach your kids the best you know how. Yeah, I want my child to go Fastlane like me; it's not wrong to want my kid to follow in my footsteps--if I knew a better way, I would be on it myself.

    I 100% agree with learning through seeing and doing rather than just lecturing. Although my dad was a genius with fixing cars, I am ashamed to say I didn't learn anything from him. I was too busy wasting my teen years on video games. But I did learn something, which I think was the real key to my success in this area, the gateway that allowed me to use YouTube and trial and error to teach me enough to be a professional mechanic, and eventually far exceed his skill in most areas:

    I learned that it was possible.

    That was enough.

    I learned that it was possible to have a blown fuel pump on Friday night and, with a bunch of tools and a few choice swear words, have a running car again by Monday morning for $120 instead of the $900 the shop wanted. Consistently, I see this as the biggest barrier to entry for people who are not mechanically inclined: They look at something like changing shocks or breaks like performing orthopedic surgery, something no layperson ever should or could attempt. It's this limiting belief that stops them.

    The Fastlane will go the same way. Just letting your kids see that it's possible to make $800 while you're asleep or $2,000 while you spend a day at the beach, that's one of the strongest red pills there is. Because that teaches them all they really need to know to be hungry and curious to chase after it:

    That it's possible.
     
    Last edited: Sep 14, 2017
  14. amp0193
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    amp0193 Platinum Contributor Read Millionaire Fastlane I've Read UNSCRIPTED FASTLANE INSIDER Speedway Pass

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    I like this.

    Knowing something is a possible is a strong motivator.

    How many people said the 4-minute mile couldn't be run?

    And once someone did it, it was done over and over again.
     
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  15. RHL
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    You see it in every discipline. After some new technology comes out, others are able to clone it even without industrial espionage. I used to do competitive skateboarding, and you'd see someone land a new trick for the first time ever (like a 720 flip) very sloppy and using a ramp to get much higher than they could ollie to make it work.

    8 months later, you'd see some 12-year-old busting the trick on flat ground and landing bolts. All it took was the pioneer to show it could happen.
     
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  16. G-Man
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    Couldn't agree more. Had to have this conversation with some relatives that were insinuating that raising our son with our religious beliefs was essentially brainwashing, and the kid should be able to "make up his own mind". I'm sitting there like "How would civilization even be possible if every generation had to make up it's own mind about everything?" It's also a denial of the reality that your kid is going to adopt someone's beliefs,.... why wouldn't you want it to be yours?

    Don't want the thread to digress into a religious debate, but that's the most recent example to come to mind.
     
  17. JScott
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    JScott Platinum Contributor FASTLANE INSIDER Speedway Pass

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    We have one! Our kids don't get video games or electronic devices, so this is their one big indulgence...they spend LOTS of time in this room... :)

    [​IMG]
     
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  18. MJ DeMarco
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    MJ DeMarco Raving Lunatic Staff Member Read Millionaire Fastlane I've Read UNSCRIPTED FASTLANE INSIDER Speedway Pass LEGENDARY CONTRIBUTOR Summit Attendee

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    Admin Post
    Thread upgraded from NOTABLE to GOLD.
     
  19. JScott
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    I didn't realize the Lego room was THAT cool... ;)
     
  20. MidwestLandlord
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    We pay them by the chore. They have set chores they must do, if they do them well and without fuss they get paid, if they don't they still do them without getting paid.

    They save a third, donate a third to their favorite charity, and spend the other third.

    Am I teaching them to trade time for money? Probably.

    But.

    Their mom is pro-job and slowlane (nothing wrong with that), and I am pro-income producing assets and fastlane. So they get to see both worlds. I think it works out.

    My youngest especially is often coming up with ideas on how to make money without trading time. Loaning out her allowance, buying toys on sale and flipping them for more in my retail locations, that kind of thing. And she's 7, so I think I'm doing alright in the parenting department.

    Plus, I'm always talking. Always communicating with them. My oldest probably knows more about options trading than 99% of adults for example. I talk about trading time for money, the alternatives to that, working hard regardless, that sort of thing. It's all good.
     
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  21. MattR82
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    Interesting thread guys.
    I've always known I wanted to have children, but now it's starting to hit home in a big way. I thought this only happened with women but nope. I actually had a 5 year relationship breakdown when I was 29 because she was adamant she didn't want children. Even though I was many years away from being ready to do so, it still woke us up to the fact that things were not going to work. 6 years later we are still great friends but the right decision was definitely made.

    I think because I grew up in a pretty large family with absolutely no money, which always seemed to create untold amounts of stress, I've been super cautious about when I do start a family. But can't actually imagine anything more rewarding than doing so. (Being a part time English teacher to little kids in Vietnam has somewhat accelerated this.. I suddenly have about a hundred children..)

    Lately I have personally found this more motivating to make myself a success than being able to leave the J.O.B. but it's all kind of hand in hand I suppose.
     
  22. amp0193
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    amp0193 Platinum Contributor Read Millionaire Fastlane I've Read UNSCRIPTED FASTLANE INSIDER Speedway Pass

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    I was explaining contracts and how they work to my 2-year-old yesterday.

    It's a fun challenge trying to explain difficult concepts in language they understand.
     
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