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GOLD! Fastlane Parenting (Tips, Tactics...)

Discussion in 'People & Relationships' started by G-Man, Jan 31, 2017.

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  1. MidwestLandlord
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    MidwestLandlord Legendary Contributor Read Millionaire Fastlane I've Read UNSCRIPTED FASTLANE INSIDER Speedway Pass LEGENDARY CONTRIBUTOR

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    Of course you can.

    Do kids make it harder? Probably.

    Are kids expensive? Yes.

    But the "I have kids and responsibilities!" is an excuse for sure.

    People that use kids as an excuse would just find another excuse if they didn't have kids.

    Just be smart about it. (Don't fall into the usual "my kids deserve the best!" nonsense and spend money you haven't earned)
     
  2. G-Man
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    G-Man Legendary Contributor Read Millionaire Fastlane I've Read UNSCRIPTED FASTLANE INSIDER Speedway Pass LEGENDARY CONTRIBUTOR

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    My kids do deserve the best. I just have a different idea of what the "best" is.

    My kids deserve for me to be the best, most present father I can be.

    My kids deserve to be raised by their wonderful mother, not strangers at daycare centers.

    My kids deserve the best education available, which means I sacrifice my money and my wife sacrifices her time, rather than sending them to the Marxist re-education camps we call public schools

    My kids deserve the best health I can give them. It means I spend money on quality food for them instead of buying more toys for myself.

    I could go on and on. I have a dear friend that works 12 hour days and just spent 50k on a home entertainment system so his kids can have "the best". Don't be that guy.
     
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  3. The EL Maven
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    The EL Maven No longer life's passenger Read Millionaire Fastlane I've Read UNSCRIPTED FASTLANE INSIDER Speedway Pass

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    And this IS the best education available today. One on One home learning (whether the parent does it, or it's outsourced) is the equivalent of a super car while public school is the equivalent of a city run bus. One is great for moving a lot of people along a prescribed route rather slowly, and the other is a super car where YOU dictate the direction and speed.

    With that said, anyone reading this who is not in a position nor inclined, don't feel bad. You can still have a major impact which is what this Gold thread is all about. We do private school (sort of like a charter bus in my analogy) and some after schooling (driving a lambo for some laps at the race track), and after a year of this, my 5 year old is about 5 years ahead in some subjects (and no, I'm not exaggerating). You can make a HUGE difference in a little time if the time is consistent over a year, two years, etc.
     
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  4. CaptainAmerica
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    CaptainAmerica Bronze Contributor Read Millionaire Fastlane I've Read UNSCRIPTED FASTLANE INSIDER Speedway Pass

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    Proud parenting moment - my own, not my kids. My youngest just turned 18, and will be graduating High School in June. I did it - 31 years of parenting - that's a hell of a career! I failed a lot, and I questioned my decision to stay home with them almost daily for 17 years. I also started a small successful massage therapy business and got my chemistry degree. For 7 of those 31 years, I was involved with an abuser. For 10 years, I was happily married. For all the rest, I was the single parent of 5 kids. Who are all grown, happy, productive, nice people. I'm feeling ridiculously proud of myself. :blush:
     
  5. amp0193
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    amp0193 Legendary Contributor Read Millionaire Fastlane I've Read UNSCRIPTED FASTLANE INSIDER Speedway Pass LEGENDARY CONTRIBUTOR

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    We are kindred spirits my friend.

    Great post
     
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  6. andyhaus44
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    andyhaus44 Contributor Read Millionaire Fastlane I've Read UNSCRIPTED

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    Amp,

    Thank you so much for sharing this! Your description of a Slowlane and Fastlane parent was the kick in the pants that I needed. Up until now, I’ve been a Slowlane parent with the intention of being Fastlane but now will focus on being a Fastlane parent. Thank you.

     
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  7. amp0193
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    amp0193 Legendary Contributor Read Millionaire Fastlane I've Read UNSCRIPTED FASTLANE INSIDER Speedway Pass LEGENDARY CONTRIBUTOR

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    Can be both.

    Get good at time management.

    Don't watch TV.
     
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  8. Thomas Baptiste
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    Thomas Baptiste Contributor Read Millionaire Fastlane

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    I'm not a parent but damn, video game addiction hit hard. I'm actually really happy that I've taken some of the same steps you've taken to become a better version of myself. This might seem weird, but my future son/daughter is actually my main motivator for all my FastLane ambitions right now. The thought of having a child right now with my given circumstances is really frustrating and it takes conscious effort to stop myself from ignoring that, seeing that I'm integrated in a side walked/slowlaned society. I want to bring them into a world with me being financially stable at least, but better yet financially independent!

    Also for the single parents on the forum, don't take your being single as a burden ;it can be a beautiful thing. A partner is there for mutual support and it's better to have them absent from your lives than to have them eat away at your goals. Children should be raised in an atmosphere of love and support.
     
  9. Elif
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    Elif New Contributor

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    I like Andy Frisella. He has made excellent points about children. He wrote a children's book recently. Now, I do not have any children. So, I can not say if it is legit or not.
     
  10. amp0193
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    amp0193 Legendary Contributor Read Millionaire Fastlane I've Read UNSCRIPTED FASTLANE INSIDER Speedway Pass LEGENDARY CONTRIBUTOR

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    Love when this thread gets bumped in my notifications, I like adding to it.

    Right now I'm in Europe with the family for a 2.5 month trip. My guys are back home running the warehouse. I work from 9pm-2am here, which is like afternoon U.S. time. Also do some work sporadically during nap times, or sometimes in the morning.

    My 1 and 3 year olds are immersed in a different culture. I'm taking them a few days a week to an "open preschool" where parents and kids come together. We do songs in their language and they play with kids that don't speak any English.

    In 2 weeks my daughter has gone from being apprehensive and scared at meeting kids that don't speak English, to embracing the challenge, and asking me about how to say things "in this place".

    Not to mention the weather is 70-80 degrees every day.


    My kids are learning freedom. We can leave and do cool things, that other people don't get to do, because I have a business, not a job.
     
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  11. Kak
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    Kak Capitalist Swine Read Millionaire Fastlane FASTLANE INSIDER Speedway Pass LEGENDARY CONTRIBUTOR

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    Has anyone thought of homeschooling? It's starting to look like the ticket at this point. The stats point in favor of homeschooled kids as far as academic performance is concerned.

    I had a very interesting conversation with a successful guy that homeschool his kids. He said that kids being socialized to other kids is important but only a small part of their socialization. The goal with school is to help kids become functioning and educated adults. He said, and this was his opinion, that kids are the blind leading the blind, and they are forced to hang out with and learn from their own age group. In contrast, with homeschool, your children can become mature and far more socialized to adults primarily and other kids secondarily.

    Thoughts? Obviously since adult is the goal, it has to be a good thing.
     
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  12. GPM
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    GPM Gold Contributor Read Millionaire Fastlane I've Read UNSCRIPTED FASTLANE INSIDER Speedway Pass Summit Attendee

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    As that due date looms closer and closer this is one the biggest concerns on my mind. The traditional school system terrifies me. I do not want my kid going through that, in the form that it currently takes.
     
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  13. Kak
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    Kak Capitalist Swine Read Millionaire Fastlane FASTLANE INSIDER Speedway Pass LEGENDARY CONTRIBUTOR

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    I’m thinking more and more that school trains kids to keep their head down and keeps them in “their places”. Screw that. Even high dollar prep school is probably bad news. Too many rich kids are jackasses.
     
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  14. CPisHere
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    CPisHere Silver Contributor Read Millionaire Fastlane I've Read UNSCRIPTED Speedway Pass

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    I literally cannot think of one thing school is good for. No way I will put my kids through it. You are fighting against a very strong current to try & raise your kids fastlane through the school system.
     
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  15. IGP
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    IGP Gold Contributor Read Millionaire Fastlane I've Read UNSCRIPTED FASTLANE INSIDER Speedway Pass

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    Not really. Your kids will learn from watching you more than they will from school. It's not coincidence that my 4 year old wants to work out with me or that my 9 year old likes to come up with new business ideas.

    I send my kids to public school, even though I could afford private school. And while it is frustrating at times, I don't see it as 100% negative.

    We supplement at home where we see fit, which IMO every parent should do.

    If there is something at school that I know is 100% BS, I tell them that straight up. I don't worry about the feeling of their teacher, principal or friends... Other things I explain to them the reasoning behind it in a more subtle way.

    Really it all boils down to this: Don't be an absentee parent. Don't let the system raise your kid. Use it as construct and learning device to inspire them to dream bigger and reach farther.
     
  16. CPisHere
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    CPisHere Silver Contributor Read Millionaire Fastlane I've Read UNSCRIPTED Speedway Pass

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    Like I said, you are fighting against a current. The current is going to pull them toward the status quo. It doesn't mean it's impossible.

    But why fight the current? If it's because you don't have time or interest in taking your kids out of school, fine. School offers nothing of value that can't be easily replaced without it.
     
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  17. IGP
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    IGP Gold Contributor Read Millionaire Fastlane I've Read UNSCRIPTED FASTLANE INSIDER Speedway Pass

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    And like I said, I'm not fighting against any current. I simply don't agree with you. There is no magical force pulling kids towards a status quo.

    Do you have kids?

    I'm guessing not because I know plenty of people who home school their kids and the one thing that IS NOT is EASY.
     
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  18. Kak
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    Kak Capitalist Swine Read Millionaire Fastlane FASTLANE INSIDER Speedway Pass LEGENDARY CONTRIBUTOR

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    You are correct, I do not have kids. They’re on the radar though.

    Good post @IGP rep to you
     
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  19. CPisHere
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    CPisHere Silver Contributor Read Millionaire Fastlane I've Read UNSCRIPTED Speedway Pass

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    I have 3 kids under age 5. Home schooling is as easy or difficult as you want it to be, but it's certainly more work than shipping your kids off to babysitters. My kids are my WHY. I'm creating freedom for myself so that they can be FREE.

    The vast majority of people fall into the status quo, it's the point of MJ's books. Schools are a foundational part of creating and guiding that status quo, that's the current you must fight to be on the Fastlane ("Get good grades, get a good job, buy a house, save for retirement").

    Obviously, the vast majority of entrepreneurs went through school. It's not a death sentence to mediocrity. But as I keep point out & you haven't disagreed, it offers nothing of value - other than babysitting.
     
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  20. Bearcorp
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    Bearcorp Bronze Contributor Read Millionaire Fastlane FASTLANE INSIDER Speedway Pass

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    Yep my GF and I know people that do this and when our kid(s) are of that age we aim to go a very different path with their education to the norm. If we live unscripted whats the point of putting kids in 12 years of scripted eduction? For them to come home at night bulk studying assignments with no relevance to their journey as an adult? For me to constantly say;

    "I know your teacher told you that, and you need to memorise it so you get good grades, but ultimately its rubbish".

    It never made sense to me when I went to school (I was the smart a$$ always asking teachers "tell me how I apply this to real life") and it makes even less sense to send my kids through it.*

    *EDIT; having said that depending on circumstances they might do a few years of primary school in public school, there are a few in my area which fit in with our philosophy. Thats providing I still live where I do in 4 years when my young fella is ready to start.
     
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  21. amp0193
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    amp0193 Legendary Contributor Read Millionaire Fastlane I've Read UNSCRIPTED FASTLANE INSIDER Speedway Pass LEGENDARY CONTRIBUTOR

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    Take it from a former teacher.... it's bad.

    @Kak We considered home-schooling, but decided against it. I think the socialization was a big factor, Not so important to me, but more-so for my wife.

    We've landed on a liberal arts private school that a personal acquaintance started. No state testing, no textbooks. Love of learning, great literature, great art, some stuff done in mixed-grades, so it's not quite the "blind leading the blind" situation you described above. Like, if my kid's in 4th grade, but is ready for algebra, he could be doing algebra with 7th graders. etc. etc. And the things these kids can do at similar schools in other cities is a lot more than what you get with public school.

    Even if in this set-up, my kids "achieved less" than their public school counterparts (unlikely), what matters most to me is the love of learning is not squashed out of them by 12th grade. That they haven't reduced learning to short-memory of facts for a multiple choice test.


    Biggest downside to homeschool or private school options, is missing out on some great experiences in band/orchestra/choir. Hard to get group music through anything but public school... the homeschool and private school options exist for this, but don't compare in quality.
     
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  22. amp0193
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    The other reason we opted out. I don't know if we could commit to all that goes into it.
     
  23. IGP
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    Okay, well I'll disagree now then. "Nothing" is a pretty strong word. Clearly, there is value to school, even if it's not exactly what we think it should be.

    Kudos to you for taking on the challenge of home schooling. That is not an easy undertaking, especially as they get older.
     
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  24. G-Man
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    G-Man Legendary Contributor Read Millionaire Fastlane I've Read UNSCRIPTED FASTLANE INSIDER Speedway Pass LEGENDARY CONTRIBUTOR

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    We are considering homeschooling and have some family friends who do a great job homeschooling their children. I asked him the socialization question and this was the response:

    "Sure you get socialized, but socialized to what? When was the last time you were in room with 20 people exactly your age taking orders from a bureaucrat?"

    Coming from someone that has 3 teenage and pre-teen sons that will walk straight up to you, look you in the eye and shake your hand like a man, I'm inclined to listen.
     
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  25. Patrickg
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    Patrickg Contributor Read Millionaire Fastlane I've Read UNSCRIPTED

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    My thoughts exactly... It's interesting to hear everyone basically agree stuck between the homeschooling versus private.

    We are doing private preschool next year. But I really want to homeschool. Because even though private school is better education it's designed to create factory workers. The structure of hours etc
     
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