Can I please have advice on how to make sure I take over my family companies well?

[RockyBaby671]

I am 22 and in my last year of college. I am from outside the US. Our family is very involved in the community, we have a family bank, funeral home and park, trash company, and apartments. I have worked for my Dad every summer the last few years. He is an old man (73) and is going to retire soon, but we both know I do not have the experience to take anything over anytime soon.

And this is my concern. I do not know how I plan on getting that experience. Our family businesses are confined to our area (it is an island) but I would love to bring them overseas and make them international. I have talked to my Dad on how we can start preparing, but I feel his ideas are very old school. He said to just get a job after school wherever for someone else and learn to work. He is confident in me I will be able to take over one day, but he is not very specific with anything. He is not very specific in general, he has always been hands off in everything in life for as long as I can remember.

My home is boring, but I feel with those business opportunities I would be silly to pass them up even if they are not my passion.

He has always said he doesn't want me to be a banker, but be a businessman and entrepreneur.

So how should I go about doing this? I would really appreciate any answers and advice.

 

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[Rabby]

Maybe start taking over one part, so you have a manageable problem to tackle. Can your father mentor you on how he manages that part now? Learning his way first, and then adapting to your own style once you understand the business or sub-business, seems like a good way to proceed, in general.

 

[million$$$smile]

My home is boring, but I feel with those business opportunities I would be silly to pass them up even if they are not my passion

The question is: What is your passion?
If it isn't your passion, you seem to have answered your own question. I think he is right, find a job and work for someone else. Learn to take orders so that one day you will be able to give them.

If you are unable to do that, it will be an uphill battle to lead.
Sounds like your dad can read you better than you read yourself. He realizes you are not ready. Maybe you will never be if it isn't really what inspires you. It would be better to allow someone else to take the reins, and accept that it isn't your passion.

Figure it out. Quit stalling.
Try to develop something on your own. Learn how hard it is. If nothing else, it will help you respect what he has done even more.

Bring something to the plate besides your last name.

The only way to do that is in the trenches and learning to do it on your own. Even if it is a small victory. It will prove to you whether you are cut out for bigger projects, like carrying the flame from one generation to the next.
'Old school' has created a legacy. It's up to you to keep it one way or the other.

Good luck.

 

[Knugs]

I am 22 and in my last year of college. I am from outside the US. Our family is very involved in the community, we have a family bank, funeral home and park, trash company, and apartments. I have worked for my Dad every summer the last few years. He is an old man (73) and is going to retire soon, but we both know I do not have the experience to take anything over anytime soon.

And this is my concern. I do not know how I plan on getting that experience. Our family businesses are confined to our area (it is an island) but I would love to bring them overseas and make them international. I have talked to my Dad on how we can start preparing, but I feel his ideas are very old school. He said to just get a job after school wherever for someone else and learn to work. He is confident in me I will be able to take over one day, but he is not very specific with anything. He is not very specific in general, he has always been hands off in everything in life for as long as I can remember.

My home is boring, but I feel with those business opportunities I would be silly to pass them up even if they are not my passion.

He has always said he doesn't want me to be a banker, but be a businessman and entrepreneur.

So how should I go about doing this? I would really appreciate any answers and advice.

You will have to talk this one through with your Dad. At this age most old fellas will have thought about what will happen after they retire or after they pass away. It sounds to me that you dont know his plans/backup. Is there a business partner that co-runs it? Do you have older siblings? Is there a younger brother of his who is going to step in? Has he got notary agreements and sorted it out? Perhaps these businesses will go on sale? Perhaps he doesnt see anything working hence he still works at 73? Communication in the older age-bracket is sometimes a little limited.

I couldnt take you serious when you talk about internationalisation when you havent even learned the basics of the businesses or as he put it "learned to work". Before expansion you have to learn about maintaining it. Taking over an established family business is never easy. It also looks so easy because your Dad has probably done it for more than 30-40 years.

To some extend it sounds more like that you need to prove to your Dad that you can hustle and get dirty. It looks to me that he doesnt want to tell you the truth/ cant tell you the truth. The relationship is far more important. I would completely agree with him. You find the place boring and have no passion. You probably have never shown the fire to him. The fire that he needed over the years to persist and build his companies. I'm not really sure if you should ever take it.

Otherwise this is what I would do. Since you want to be an entrepreneur I would do these regardless.
-trash company: (depending on how many roles there are) spend up to 1 week with each role at the company to understand the inner-workings. (Yes even picking that trash up). Learn it inside out. Suddenly you have a different and interesting insight your Dad doesnt have anymore. Suddenly your conversations with him about business are completely different. He will see you take an interest, he sees you hustling and he sees you hopefully thinking in the right way. This will give him a major confidence boost in your abilities. Perhaps he will give you a role or let you manage it under his supervision?
-Funeral home: learn the softskills and empathy. Learn about the stress and problems grieving relatives have. I think you might find community will stand above business in this industry.
-Family bank: same thing as above. Rotate with each role, take on a responsibility. Perhaps you can exploit your college degree etc. Regulations is probably big here. Understanding legality etc.

So much to learn. I'm kind of jealous that you can learn about all these businesses. Maybe after doing it you will find your fire or you will find something else. Regardless an amazing opportunity you should exploit.

 

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[RockyBaby671]

You will have to talk this one through with your Dad. At this age most old fellas will have thought about what will happen after they retire or after they pass away. It sounds to me that you dont know his plans/backup. Is there a business partner that co-runs it? Do you have older siblings? Is there a younger brother of his who is going to step in? Has he got notary agreements and sorted it out? Perhaps these businesses will go on sale? Perhaps he doesnt see anything working hence he still works at 73? Communication in the older age-bracket is sometimes a little limited.

I couldnt take you serious when you talk about internationalisation when you havent even learned the basics of the businesses or as he put it "learned to work". Before expansion you have to learn about maintaining it. Taking over an established family business is never easy. It also looks so easy because your Dad has probably done it for more than 30-40 years.

To some extend it sounds more like that you need to prove to your Dad that you can hustle and get dirty. It looks to me that he doesnt want to tell you the truth/ cant tell you the truth. The relationship is far more important. I would completely agree with him. You find the place boring and have no passion. You probably have never shown the fire to him. The fire that he needed over the years to persist and build his companies. I'm not really sure if you should ever take it.

Otherwise this is what I would do. Since you want to be an entrepreneur I would do these regardless.
-trash company: (depending on how many roles there are) spend up to 1 week with each role at the company to understand the inner-workings. (Yes even picking that trash up). Learn it inside out. Suddenly you have a different and interesting insight your Dad doesnt have anymore. Suddenly your conversations with him about business are completely different. He will see you take an interest, he sees you hustling and he sees you hopefully thinking in the right way. This will give him a major confidence boost in your abilities. Perhaps he will give you a role or let you manage it under his supervision?
-Funeral home: learn the softskills and empathy. Learn about the stress and problems grieving relatives have. I think you might find community will stand above business in this industry.
-Family bank: same thing as above. Rotate with each role, take on a responsibility. Perhaps you can exploit your college degree etc. Regulations is probably big here. Understanding legality etc.

So much to learn. I'm kind of jealous that you can learn about all these businesses. Maybe after doing it you will find your fire or you will find something else. Regardless an amazing opportunity you should exploit.

Thank you for the reply. A lot of assumed negativity, not sure why. I have worked at the companies during my summer and christmas breaks the last 5 years. Doing exactly what you reccomended with working in different departments. I am 22 years old, am I ready to run a bank? No, what 22 year old is?

 

[RockyBaby671]

You will have to talk this one through with your Dad. At this age most old fellas will have thought about what will happen after they retire or after they pass away. It sounds to me that you dont know his plans/backup. Is there a business partner that co-runs it? Do you have older siblings? Is there a younger brother of his who is going to step in? Has he got notary agreements and sorted it out? Perhaps these businesses will go on sale? Perhaps he doesnt see anything working hence he still works at 73? Communication in the older age-bracket is sometimes a little limited.

I couldnt take you serious when you talk about internationalisation when you havent even learned the basics of the businesses or as he put it "learned to work". Before expansion you have to learn about maintaining it. Taking over an established family business is never easy. It also looks so easy because your Dad has probably done it for more than 30-40 years.

To some extend it sounds more like that you need to prove to your Dad that you can hustle and get dirty. It looks to me that he doesnt want to tell you the truth/ cant tell you the truth. The relationship is far more important. I would completely agree with him. You find the place boring and have no passion. You probably have never shown the fire to him. The fire that he needed over the years to persist and build his companies. I'm not really sure if you should ever take it.

Otherwise this is what I would do. Since you want to be an entrepreneur I would do these regardless.
-trash company: (depending on how many roles there are) spend up to 1 week with each role at the company to understand the inner-workings. (Yes even picking that trash up). Learn it inside out. Suddenly you have a different and interesting insight your Dad doesnt have anymore. Suddenly your conversations with him about business are completely different. He will see you take an interest, he sees you hustling and he sees you hopefully thinking in the right way. This will give him a major confidence boost in your abilities. Perhaps he will give you a role or let you manage it under his supervision?
-Funeral home: learn the softskills and empathy. Learn about the stress and problems grieving relatives have. I think you might find community will stand above business in this industry.
-Family bank: same thing as above. Rotate with each role, take on a responsibility. Perhaps you can exploit your college degree etc. Regulations is probably big here. Understanding legality etc.

So much to learn. I'm kind of jealous that you can learn about all these businesses. Maybe after doing it you will find your fire or you will find something else. Regardless an amazing opportunity you should exploit.

By the way, I sit on the board for three of our companies. I am not clueless about our companies. I am simply asking what would be a good path to prepare me to better manage a bunch of different companies.

 

[Lyinx]

In my opinion - you should get a job working for another company for two years (and the lower the job, the better)

My advice? get an outside job - the dirtier, harder, stinkier, the better.

maybe another trash company (rival to your fathers, or in a different niche) and start at the base level. Don't tell them who you are... other than your name.
work your way up for a year, and then leave to start in your fathers company... and then do what the other guys here tell you (one role at a time, working your way up)

The reason?
you need to learn to work

Reason #1: If you start in any of your father's businesses, you will be "the old man's son" and will get special favors.
You can try to trick your way into the business without the employees knowing who you are, but secretly, you could have (or think you could) fire them in the present or near future.

Reason #2: work ethic... if you don't work hard enough, what do you think that your father will say? Work harder? no, your father will hope that you do better. If you get an outside job, and screw up, then the boss will yell at you. Go, get yelled at by other people!

My advice? get an outside job - the dirtier, harder, stinkier, the better.

 

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[Lyinx]

Edit / Addon...

Stinky/hard job during the day... and work (secretly) on understanding the internal workings of your main businesses at night.

work 80+ hours a week, take one day off per week, for two years... and then move fully into your main business at that time. You can send me a check for business advice at that time

 

[RockyBaby671]

Edit / Addon...

Stinky/hard job during the day... and work (secretly) on understanding the internal workings of your main businesses at night.

work 80+ hours a week, take one day off per week, for two years... and then move fully into your main business at that time. You can send me a check for business advice at that time

Thats a great idea. Thank you. So you reccomend any job really? Any job that will teach me how to work hard and move up, and apply these principals to any future business venture?

thank you for the positivity by the way I appreciate it.

 

[Lyinx]

Thats a great idea. Thank you. So you reccomend any job really? Any job that will teach me how to work hard and move up, and apply these principals to any future business venture?

thank you for the positivity by the way I appreciate it.

For one year you should have the shittiest job possible. Moving up is optional.

This will teach you how it is to be an employee. If you ever take over the family business, you will then know what it's like and will treat a janitor with the respect that you would want of you were in that position.

 

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[Lyinx]

My creds (so you don't think I'm talking the talk without walking the walk)
My father started a business.. we now (only) employ about 20 people (including subshops)
14 years old.. hauled shit (horse and cow) was a one boy job, it stank, and it was boring.. bit it taught me that I need to buckle down sometimes. I did this job one or two days a week, and then went out and whacked weeds for another hour.
After this, I moved back into the shop, worked 74 hours/week for about 3 years, then I stepped back to 55 hours/week so that I had/have more time for personal things like reading and other hobbies.

Just my $.02

 

[Guest-5ty5s4]

I understand where you’re coming from and gave a bit of backstory on my intro thread. We employed about 230 people at our peak last year. Down due to Covid policies and oil oversupply. My suggestion... don’t train yourself to work in a lower position; that won’t help you maintain this Fastlane enterprise. You need to closely shadow your dad, shadow and follow all the higher ups in your own company, and really focus on understanding how everything works from a high level. I’m sorry but shoveling dirt won’t teach you how to manage the company. The business is built. If you are going to be the leader you need to learn all the top-level details.
There is not enough time for you to waste on moral obligations filling roles at the bottom of the pyramid. I guarantee that very few people in the company know how everything fits together in a big picture - that’s your job.
Good luck!

Edit: Like others have said, the work ethic from other places is valuable. I'm just saying if you can get that while learning this business at a higher level, that is more valuable.

 

[Knugs]

By the way, I sit on the board for three of our companies. I am not clueless about our companies. I am simply asking what would be a good path to prepare me to better manage a bunch of different companies.

The assumed negativity is based on your lack of provided information so I work with what you give me. This is by the far the most important sentence I read out of your post.

"He said to just get a job after school wherever for someone else and learn to work. He is confident in me I will be able to take over one day "

This alone tells me a complete different story and a far more complicated reasoning that even you dont seem to understand. This is after years of experience in summer and winter jobs and after your board experience. By the way, sitting on boards means nothing when all you do is "sitting". I guess its a valuable experience nonetheless.

I work with what you give me. I can only tell you my observation.
________________________________

I'm at the age now where I see lots of my friends taking over their respective family business (Germanys economy is build on the backbone of strong, old "mittelstand" family companies). There is no rule to how a son/daughter takes over a family business but I observed the same process over and over again.

Just like you they are usually involved in summer jobs from a young age. Most will go off to University and study a finance type degree. Their involvement becomes far more serious during university. When they graduate and are still interested in the family business, they start employment in the family company. They either work their "way up" and/or gradually receive more and more responsibility until they run the entire place themselves. In every case there is a clear plan and a real conversation took place. The "inheritance of power and responsibility" is well organised and planned.

I remember when my Dad asked me if I'm going to take over his business about 4-5 years ago, as he needed to know and plan ahead. We had that conversation and I declined.

I have a 22 year young friend who is in a similar situation but is really interested in the take over. He has a lazy attitute and weak work ethic and his Dad is actively pushing him into a different direction. The advice strikes a similar tone to the above: Get a job and learn to work.

My current business partner (29) is having the family business/wealth being transferred. The entire investment portfolio is being transferred for him to manage.

A not so close friend (42) is still at his fathers agricultural business. His father is holding up strong but has transferred most responsibility to his son.

My uncle has three children. The oldest one declined. The second one runs his chain of hotels now (24) and my youngest cousin (18) is learning the construction business trade by following him intensively. I spoke to my uncle and he expressed that this transfer is his most important priority. No business owner will not have thought or have a plan ready for his departure.

In almost all cases I know the father is far younger to yours and the transfer has been well organised. From my perspective you shouldnt have to ask this question on this forum, because your path should be crystal clear.

There is no better preparation to take over a business or a bunch of family companies other than being involved in exactly these companies. Degrees and employment somewhere else doesnt give you the experience to run the companies well but they will give you a different perspective and help you develop a work ethic.

 

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