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A question on taking responsibility

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LiveEntrepreneur

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Hey all,

One thing that came across my mind recently was whether taking full responsibility made sense. For example, these days the popular mindset is that "everything is your fault" I was wondering from an an accuracy perspective and even just a realistic one whether it made sense? If for example let's say you hire a mechanic to fix your car then you find out he ripped you off and charged you for work he didn't do the "everything is your fault" response would be something like, "It's your fault because you know that mechanics have a reputation for being dodgy and you accepted that risk, if you didn't want to be ripped off you should have learned to do it yourself".

In this example would it make sense? I definitely do believe that you should deal with the situation at hand and not just sit there and blame someone because that does nothing, but from an accuracy perspective doesn't the mechanic technically also take some blame and they are partially responsible? My mindset on things have changed over the years, I don't know what the right answer is.

Or is the idea to take responsibility of how you deal with the situation at hand and that you're responsible for your own actions?
 
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"I am convinced that life is 10% what happens to me and 90% of how I react to it. And so it is with you. We are in charge of our attitudes." - Charles R Swindoll
 

mdot

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You'll probably enjoy reading @Johnny boy 's thread:
 

LiveEntrepreneur

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You'll probably enjoy reading @Johnny boy 's thread:
I read the thread and it's an interesting read. How I understood it is that somethings may not be your responsibility but it's up to you on how you react to it. And if things aren't your fault, you still have to deal with the problem regardless.

I think I might be too focused on who is to blame and who gets the percentage of the blame for the sake of being accurate to distribute the blame evenly, but I guess I should just focus on my part of the blame.
 

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Hey all,

One thing that came across my mind recently was whether taking full responsibility made sense. For example, these days the popular mindset is that "everything is your fault" I was wondering from an an accuracy perspective and even just a realistic one whether it made sense? If for example let's say you hire a mechanic to fix your car then you find out he ripped you off and charged you for work he didn't do the "everything is your fault" response would be something like, "It's your fault because you know that mechanics have a reputation for being dodgy and you accepted that risk, if you didn't want to be ripped off you should have learned to do it yourself".

In this example would it make sense? I definitely do believe that you should deal with the situation at hand and not just sit there and blame someone because that does nothing, but from an accuracy perspective doesn't the mechanic technically also take some blame and they are partially responsible? My mindset on things have changed over the years, I don't know what the right answer is.

Or is the idea to take responsibility of how you deal with the situation at hand and that you're responsible for your own actions?
By asking yourself if it is your fault, you begin to think of ways that you could have prevented it from happening.

For example, you say to yourself, I could have avoided this if I had read the reviews on Yelp. Or, I should have researched my issue and determined that I could have checked his work by just looking at the dipstick.

This line of thinking helps you figure out what to do next time so the chances of something like that happening again get smaller.
 

LiveEntrepreneur

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By asking yourself if it is your fault, you begin to think of ways that you could have prevented it from happening.

For example, you say to yourself, I could have avoided this if I had read the reviews on Yelp. Or, I should have researched my issue and determined that I could have checked his work by just looking at the dipstick.

This line of thinking helps you figure out what to do next time so the chances of something like that happening again get smaller.
I definitely do look for ways to improve things so if I hire a shit developer for example I'll look where things went wrong and try not to make the same mistakes. But I think I'm stuck on the point where you said "fault" this assumes right that it's 100% my responsibility? Or just focusing on the part where I could have changed things?
 

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I definitely do look for ways to improve things so if I hire a shit developer for example I'll look where things went wrong and try not to make the same mistakes. But I think I'm stuck on the point where you said "fault" this assumes right that it's 100% my responsibility? Or just focusing on the part where I could have changed things?

As a leader, which is part of being in business for yourself, you assume responsibility for your outcomes and the outcomes of everyone around you. What you allow to happen is what will happen.

It doesn't matter whose fault something is. Leaders accept responsibility, figure out how to solve immediate problems, and then learn from those experiences so they can solve problems faster, or mitigate them for the future.

Everyone should take responsibility for their own problems and should pay attention to when something is not their problem. But leaders assume responsibility for anything that affects them, or the people around them because if the system fails, it's because the leader allowed it to fail.

Even when something is not your fault, it is still your fault if you are in a leadership position. When other people fail, and that causes you problems, then it is a failure on your part to mitigate the problem, or to realize the growing problem and to have stopped it sooner. It is a failure that you did not teach others how to deal with the problem, how to take responsibility, or how to operate more effectively etc.

You have to be the person who is responsible. Everyone wants to pass fault off to someone else, but at some point, someone has to stand up and say, "this is my problem, and I will handle it."

That's the difference between leaders and not leaders.
 

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Hey all,

One thing that came across my mind recently was whether taking full responsibility made sense. For example, these days the popular mindset is that "everything is your fault" I was wondering from an an accuracy perspective and even just a realistic one whether it made sense? If for example let's say you hire a mechanic to fix your car then you find out he ripped you off and charged you for work he didn't do the "everything is your fault" response would be something like, "It's your fault because you know that mechanics have a reputation for being dodgy and you accepted that risk, if you didn't want to be ripped off you should have learned to do it yourself".

In this example would it make sense? I definitely do believe that you should deal with the situation at hand and not just sit there and blame someone because that does nothing, but from an accuracy perspective doesn't the mechanic technically also take some blame and they are partially responsible? My mindset on things have changed over the years, I don't know what the right answer is.

Or is the idea to take responsibility of how you deal with the situation at hand and that you're responsible for your own actions?
Is everything your own fault?

Ethically no but practically yes.

Because most of the time there is no remedy to address your loss other than to suck it up and move on.

Regarding the car mechanic example, he ripped you off but so what. What can you do? Going to court and waste more money?

It becomes practically your fault, and next time you learn to check on reviews and make sure you get recommended by someone who knows the trade well, or at least start with a low commitment offer to test the business service before paying for more expensive services
 

Andy Black

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I like the story of the boss who’d pull a note out whenever his team started pointing fingers.

It read: “It’s my fault.”

He’d flash that and turn the focus back to fixing the problem.
 

LiveEntrepreneur

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Is everything your own fault?

Ethically no but practically yes.

Because most of the time there is no remedy to address your loss other than to suck it up and move on.

Regarding the car mechanic example, he ripped you off but so what. What can you do? Going to court and waste more money?

It becomes practically your fault, and next time you learn to check on reviews and make sure you get recommended by someone who knows the trade well, or at least start with a low commitment offer to test the business service before paying for more expensive services
I sorta agree and diagree. where do we draw the line? in that example reviews can be faked and if we keep going the example it becomes a endless loop.
 

LiveEntrepreneur

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Ah
As a leader, which is part of being in business for yourself, you assume responsibility for your outcomes and the outcomes of everyone around you. What you allow to happen is what will happen.

It doesn't matter whose fault something is. Leaders accept responsibility, figure out how to solve immediate problems, and then learn from those experiences so they can solve problems faster, or mitigate them for the future.

Everyone should take responsibility for their own problems and should pay attention to when something is not their problem. But leaders assume responsibility for anything that affects them, or the people around them because if the system fails, it's because the leader allowed it to fail.

Even when something is not your fault, it is still your fault if you are in a leadership position. When other people fail, and that causes you problems, then it is a failure on your part to mitigate the problem, or to realize the growing problem and to have stopped it sooner. It is a failure that you did not teach others how to deal with the problem, how to take responsibility, or how to operate more effectively etc.

You have to be the person who is responsible. Everyone wants to pass fault off to someone else, but at some point, someone has to stand up and say, "this is my problem, and I will handle it."

That's the difference between leaders and not leaders.
Ah i see. that makes sense. It's not a matter of focusing on fault but "how can i improve or fix the stuation?"
 
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Lex DeVille

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I sorta agree and diagree. where do we draw the line? in that example reviews can be faked and if we keep going the example it becomes a endless loop.

Reviews can be faked. But if you were to go on Facebook, and post a message in a local group, or even on your wall asking for referrals, you would find out who did good work for others and who failed, very quickly.

Leadership is largely about solving problems. You have to get better at solving problems and better at thinking about how to solve problems in more effective/efficient ways. Then you make the best decision you can, based on the information you have. Review your outcomes afterward. Adjust for the future as-needed.
 

LiveEntrepreneur

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Reviews can be faked. But if you were to go on Facebook, and post a message in a local group, or even on your wall asking for referrals, you would find out who did good work for others and who failed, very quickly.

Leadership is largely about solving problems. You have to get better at solving problems and better at thinking about how to solve problems in more effective/efficient ways. Then you make the best decision you can, based on the information you have. Review your outcomes afterward. Adjust for the future as-needed.
Sounds good. Cheers
 

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As a leader, you have to remember that in addition to being responsible for others' poor outcomes, you also get the benefit of being responsible for the good actions of your team.

Thats why you get an outsized share of the reward. It goes both ways, yet very rarely do you hear leaders "complain" about this. It's always the opposite.

Kids are another example. Parents get credit for the behavior of their kids, good or bad. They are ready to accept the praise when things go well, but quick to justify when they don't: "oh, we tried so hard, but he just didn't listen. What could we do? We were helpless....etc"
 

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I sorta agree and diagree. where do we draw the line? in that example reviews can be faked and if we keep going the example it becomes a endless loop.
For the sake of discussion, If the problem is not fixable by you, it is just a cost that you have to bear.

Just like if you live in a country that charges a high tax rate, or lives in a shittier place that have gangs that charge extortion money.

My view is saying “life is unfair and this is not my fault” is theoretically correct but practically useless. Treat the world as what it is and not what you want to be.

It doesn’t have to be “this is my fault” either. Focusing on what you can control because the universe most of the time really doesn’t care “whose fault does it belong to”.
 
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LiveEntrepreneur

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For the sake of discussion, If the problem is not fixable by you, it is just a cost that you have to bear.

Just like if you live in a country that charges a high tax rate, or lives in a shittier place that have gangs that charge extortion money.

My view is saying “life is unfair and this is not my fault” is theoretically correct but practically useless. Treat the world as what it is and not what you want to be.

It doesn’t have to be “this is my fault” either. Focusing on what you can control because the universe most of the time really doesn’t care “whose fault does it belong to”.
Yeah I definitely agree with that.
 

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Sounds good. Cheers

Ok, how about this. Your girlfriend's car needs to be fixed. You are in charge with getting it fixed. You bring it to a mechanic that says he fixed it but doesn't. You give your car back to your girlfriend and it breaks down on the highway. Who's fault is it?

She is going to call you and say, you told me it was fixed. Does she blame the mechanic or you? It was your task and you didn't accomplish it. This is the responsibility that you take when you become a leader.
 

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Hey all,

One thing that came across my mind recently was whether taking full responsibility made sense. For example, these days the popular mindset is that "everything is your fault" I was wondering from an an accuracy perspective and even just a realistic one whether it made sense? If for example let's say you hire a mechanic to fix your car then you find out he ripped you off and charged you for work he didn't do the "everything is your fault" response would be something like, "It's your fault because you know that mechanics have a reputation for being dodgy and you accepted that risk, if you didn't want to be ripped off you should have learned to do it yourself".

In this example would it make sense? I definitely do believe that you should deal with the situation at hand and not just sit there and blame someone because that does nothing, but from an accuracy perspective doesn't the mechanic technically also take some blame and they are partially responsible? My mindset on things have changed over the years, I don't know what the right answer is.

Or is the idea to take responsibility of how you deal with the situation at hand and that you're responsible for your own actions?
I think "Responsibility" is subjective since that's been my experience. We all have a different perspective of what "Responsibility" means and also where your standing. The definition changes from birth until death, and what we're doing in life.

Family
Friends
Teachers
Students
Co-workers
Work
Career
Entrepreneur
Education

Be Responsible is a kind of a generic term because it can address multiple areas.

In this situation it "Responsibility" is even when it's not your fault, not take the blame, but move forward anyway, because you get nothing done in win-lose situations at times. It just becomes a different people with different perspectives that can't see eye to eye.

Naturally, you want stuff to be done right in a business. This is why you have the C.E.O, the Supervisor and Manager because they all do something different. They function in different areas. They do different tasks. Their responsibilities are different. The more you grow, evolve, and mature the more responsibility you will handle. Although, you outsource. You have a chain of command. You have a community of people that work together to achieve a certain goal.

Blame is really not part of the game at a certain point. Sidewalk may blame where Fastlane is not going to blame because they're more in the win-win situation versus win-lose situation.
 

LiveEntrepreneur

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I think "Responsibility" is subjective since that's been my experience. We all have a different perspective of what "Responsibility" means and also where your standing. The definition changes from birth until death, and what we're doing in life.

Family
Friends
Teachers
Students
Co-workers
Work
Career
Entrepreneur
Education

Be Responsible is a kind of a generic term because it can address multiple areas.

In this situation it "Responsibility" is even when it's not your fault, not take the blame, but move forward anyway, because you get nothing done in win-lose situations at times. It just becomes a different people with different perspectives that can't see eye to eye.

Naturally, you want stuff to be done right in a business. This is why you have the C.E.O, the Supervisor and Manager because they all do something different. They function in different areas. They do different tasks. Their responsibilities are different. The more you grow, evolve, and mature the more responsibility you will handle. Although, you outsource. You have a chain of command. You have a community of people that work together to achieve a certain goal.

Blame is really not part of the game at a certain point. Sidewalk may blame where Fastlane is not going to blame because they're more in the win-win situation versus win-lose situation.
Yeah I agree, I think the responsibility part of things is where it counts and not the blame, like you mentioned.
 
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