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It's not your responsibility, but it's still your problem

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Johnny boy

Legendary Contributor
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May 9, 2017
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There's been a lot of times that I've been let down in one way or another.

You'll have customers say one thing directly to your face and then immediately turn around and lie about it.

You'll schedule multiple interviews in one day and will get stood up for both of them. And it will happen again and again.

You'll have employees quit without notice, leaving you to do the work of 2-3 people, maybe even in the pouring rain.

You will get stolen from.

Life will sometimes take a shit in your lap just to see what you'll do.

Most people would rather just blame someone. It's not your responsibility to have an employee show up to work or for anyone else to do things right.

But, at the end of the day, it's still your problem.

It's not enough to just do your job. If you want something special, you're going to have to do everyone else's job too sometimes. You're going to have to put the weight on your back and just do it.

You can say things aren't your fault, and you'd be right. You can still be a loser and still be "correct".

The question is "what are you going to do about it?"

I genuinely want to achieve something. I don't want to just "try". I don't want to have a good excuse. I don't want people to laugh in 3 years and say "Yeah, I was right, he wasn't going to do it. I told you so".

It's not about what other people do, it's about what you choose to do. That's why the other people don't accomplish things. They can't even do the basics. But if you want to win, you'll have to carry extra weight. I used to try to outsmart the work. I would look for a path that had few obstacles. Now I just look directly at the goal and ask "is this wall possible to climb?" and if it is, I do it. I don't count the cost anymore. I already know it's going to take everything I have.

The funny thing is that it's easy to give everything you have. You never lose momentum. You never have to remember where you left off. You just wake up, get to work, do what needs to be done, go to sleep and dream about what you'll need to be doing tomorrow, wake up and do it again 7 days a week until it's done. A week goes by and then a month and then you blink and you're where you need to be. When you try to balance your life you are in a constant state of stopping, starting, losing momentum, and constantly feeling torn between serving many masters. You feel like a kid stuck between two parents; your business and your life. You feel guilty for not growing the business with 100% intensity. You feel guilty for not having enough "self-care".

You need to get comfortable with having different standards and expectations for yourself than for others. Other people will do what they do. They will, just as they always have, and as they will always continue to do. Your own choices are the variable. If you want something special you're going to have to do something special. You may have to do the workload of 3 people. You may have to read hundreds of pages of laws in your industry because you can't afford the lawyer to do it for you yet. You may have to knock on hundreds of doors. You may have to make less money than the people you're paying who have 1/50th of the responsibility. You may have to work through the night for days in a row. That's why some people get what they want and some people say "it would've worked but ____ happened". You have one life. You either get what you want or you don't.
 
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jdm667

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Jan 27, 2020
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There's been a lot of times that I've been let down in one way or another.

You'll have customers say one thing directly to your face and then immediately turn around and lie about it.

You'll schedule multiple interviews in one day and will get stood up for both of them. And it will happen again and again.

You'll have employees quit without notice, leaving you to do the work of 2-3 people, maybe even in the pouring rain.

You will get stolen from.

Life will sometimes take a shit in your lap just to see what you'll do.

Most people would rather just blame someone. It's not your responsibility to have an employee show up to work or for anyone else to do things right.

But, at the end of the day, it's still your problem.

It's not enough to just do your job. If you want something special, you're going to have to do everyone else's job too sometimes. You're going to have to put the weight on your back and just do it.

You can say things aren't your fault, and you'd be right. You can still be a loser and still be "correct".

The question is "what are you going to do about it?"

I genuinely want to achieve something. I don't want to just "try". I don't want to have a good excuse. I don't want people to laugh in 3 years and say "Yeah, I was right, he wasn't going to do it. I told you so".

It's not about what other people do, it's about what you choose to do. That's why the other people don't accomplish things. They can't even do the basics. But if you want to win, you'll have to carry extra weight. I used to try to outsmart the work. I would look for a path that had few obstacles. Now I just look directly at the goal and ask "is this wall possible to climb?" and if it is, I do it. I don't count the cost anymore. I already know it's going to take everything I have.

The funny thing is that it's easy to give everything you have. You never lose momentum. You never have to remember where you left off. You just wake up, get to work, do what needs to be done, go to sleep and dream about what you'll need to be doing tomorrow, wake up and do it again 7 days a week until it's done. A week goes by and then a month and then you blink and you're where you need to be. When you try to balance your life you are in a constant state of stopping, starting, losing momentum, and constantly feeling torn between serving many masters. You feel like a kid stuck between two parents; your business and your life. You feel guilty for not growing the business with 100% intensity. You feel guilty for not having enough "self-care".

You need to get comfortable with having different standards and expectations for yourself than for others. Other people will do what they do. They will, just as they always have, and as they will always continue to do. Your own choices are the variable. If you want something special you're going to have to do something special. You may have to do the workload of 3 people. You may have to read hundreds of pages of laws in your industry because you can't afford the lawyer to do it for you yet. You may have to knock on hundreds of doors. You may have to make less money than the people you're paying who have 1/50th of the responsibility. You may have to work through the night for days in a row. That's why some people get what they want and some people say "it would've worked but ____ happened". You have one life. You either get what you want or you don't.
Well said @Johnny boy. I think there is a hidden silver lining.

I am actually thrilled that people are so unreliable in general. It means that most of them have no chance against me in business - now or ever.

If they can't show up to a job or interview on time, how are they going to build a business?
 

mdot

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Well said. Reminded me of a great video by Essential Craftsman.

"There's an axiom that everyone's heard about working smarter, not harder... It doesn't really resonate with me because it sorta downplays the working harder part. It sorta implies that if you're smart you won't have to work so hard. It sorta holds up as an example of being smart and not worrying about how hard about how you might have to work, but instead spending a great deal of effort worrying about how smart you are working. I think it's easy to get out of balance on this, I think it's easy to stand around and talk about how to do something better, when if you simply put your head down and went to work, it would be done and well done by the time that the discussion on the "best possible method" was just beginning to slow up enough for someone to begin to pick up a tool."

Edit: was just reviewing his channel and also found this one which speaks to your post more directly.
 
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Last edited:

MJ DeMarco

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Great post, upgraded to GOLD.
 
D

Deleted78083

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When you try to balance your life you are in a constant state of stopping, starting, losing momentum, and constantly feeling torn between serving many masters. You feel like a kid stuck between two parents; your business and your life. You feel guilty for not growing the business with 100% intensity. You feel guilty for not having enough "self-care".

You have one life. You either get what you want or you don't.

@Johnny boy I love your mindset man you're one of the most inspiring people on this forum.
 

WJK

Legendary Contributor
EPIC CONTRIBUTOR
Speedway Pass
Oct 9, 2017
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Alaska
Well said. Reminded me of a great video by Essential Craftsman.

"There's an axiom that everyone's heard about working smarter, not harder... It doesn't really resonate with me because it sorta downplays the working harder part. It sorta implies that if you're smart you won't have to work so hard. It sorta holds up as an example of being smart and not worrying about how hard about how you might have to work, but instead spending a great deal of effort worrying about how smart you are working. I think it's easy to get out of balance on this, I think it's easy to stand around and talk about how to do something better, when if you simply put your head down and went to work, it would be done and well done by the time that the discussion on the "best possible method" was just beginning to slow up enough for someone to begin to pick up a tool."

Edit: was just reviewing his channel and also found this one which speaks to your post more directly.
You're right. Sometimes the questioner is just stalling. Sometimes it is time to just roll up your sleeves and do the work. But, I ask myself a different question. I ask myself what the best solution is for solving the problem. It's NOT the cheapest solution. It's NOT the fastest solution. It's NOT the easiest solution. I find that most of the time the best solutions are elegantly simple.
 
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WJK

Legendary Contributor
EPIC CONTRIBUTOR
Speedway Pass
Oct 9, 2017
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Alaska
You need to get comfortable with having different standards and expectations for yourself than for others. Other people will do what they do. They will, just as they always have, and as they will always continue to do. Your own choices are the variable. If you want something special you're going to have to do something special. You may have to do the workload of 3 people. You may have to read hundreds of pages of laws in your industry because you can't afford the lawyer to do it for you yet. You may have to knock on hundreds of doors. You may have to make less money than the people you're paying who have 1/50th of the responsibility. You may have to work through the night for days in a row. That's why some people get what they want and some people say "it would've worked but ____ happened". You have one life. You either get what you want or you don't.
I agree that winners have different standards for themselves when compared to others. It comes to one fact and that fact alone. You either did what you set out to do -- or you walked away. It's a binary choice and it's just that simple.
 

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