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I don't like myself lately...

Anything related to matters of the mind

jramos02

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This might be a slight rant and I don't know how long it will go but here it goes...

I don't like my attitude lately. I've always been a very positive and optimistic person. Ready for any challenge. I am a true believer of the growth mindset vs the fix mindset, and I am all about the growth mindset. I enjoy growing and becoming better at things. I appreciate feedback. I know I am a work in progress and always will be.

But lately...lately I feel like I have taken a step back.

Every day at work (yes, still in the slowlane and maybe this is a big reason why) I feel the dread to go to work. I enjoy talking to my coworkers and I am overly positive and cheerful (for the most part) at work. But lately everything is...heavy. I feel absolutely burned out and it is like my mind is VERY foggy. It is almost hard to concentrate on anything for a long period of time because I barely have the energy to do so.

I currently live in a very busy HCOL city. One of the "top" cities in the US. I believe the fact that there are so many people and the fact that the weather has basically sucked all year also has a big part to do with it.

I'm also a big believer in Extreme Ownership (really good book btw) but lately I haven't been taking that much ownership about basically anything. My team has been hard to deal with it but how much is it my fault? I just don't know what I should do to fix it. Or change it.

I also feel a bit overwhelmed and stuck. I know I want to get out of the slowlane and have my own freedom. But I have quite a few limited believes and soooo many excuses in my head. So I feel that also has a lot to do with it.

Anyway...I just felt like I needed to rant a bit in case someone else has gone through something similar. In very basic terms: I get frustrated quickly, it is hard to focus or dedicate much energy to work, and in general I'm just exhausted and burned out about it all.

Thanks for reading
 
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AgainstAllOdds

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I currently live in a very busy HCOL city. One of the "top" cities in the US. I believe the fact that there are so many people and the fact that the weather has basically sucked all year also has a big part to do with it.

The reason to live in a city like New York is the amount of opportunities available. Sometimes those opportunities do not pertain to you and can be equally captured living anywhere else. There's no reason to pay a premium in terms of money and enduring bad weather if you're not benefiting from what you're paying for.

I'd start by taking a break and getting away from everything. Take a trip into nature. The Japanese call this a forest bath. Spending too much time in a big city without breaks leads to depression and insanity.

See if that fixes your attitude. If it doesn't, then move somewhere where your costs of living are lower, concerns are lower, and where you can still accomplish your goals.

I know I am a work in progress and always will be.

Also, this is a bad mindset ("and always will be"). You're not a work in progress. You're you and just trying to get better.

Get a journal. Each morning start by writing out a few things you're grateful for. Gratitude is necessary for personal happiness when striving for success. Often we concentrate on what we don't have, and lead ourselves into sadness instead of focusing on what we do have and should be happy for.

You'll be alright man. Just take a little break before making your next move. Best of luck @jramos02
 

jramos02

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The reason to live in a city like New York is the amount of opportunities available. Sometimes those opportunities do not pertain to you and can be equally captured living anywhere else. There's no reason to pay a premium in terms of money and enduring bad weather if you're not benefiting from what you're paying for.

I'd start by taking a break and getting away from everything. Take a trip into nature. The Japanese call this a forest bath. Spending too much time in a big city without breaks leads to depression and insanity.

See if that fixes your attitude. If it doesn't, then move somewhere where your costs of living are lower, concerns are lower, and where you can still accomplish your goals.



Also, this is a bad mindset ("and always will be"). You're not a work in progress. You're you and just trying to get better.

Get a journal. Each morning start by writing out a few things you're grateful for. Gratitude is necessary for personal happiness when striving for success. Often we concentrate on what we don't have, and lead ourselves into sadness instead of focusing on what we do have and should be happy for.

You'll be alright man. Just take a little break before making your next move. Best of luck @jramos02

Really appreciate it @AgainstAllOdds. You hit right in the money when you said that it isn't worth paying the premium if I am not taking advantage of it. That's something I have definitely been considering lately.

I do journal every night actually and that helps me get some thoughts out. Have been doing it for 7 years now and it has proven to be really helpful. I will consider journaling in the morning too like you suggested and making it more of a gratefulness journal, instead of what my current journal is for.

Thanks again for taking the time to read and respond. Much appreciated!
 

MaxKhalus

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This might be a slight rant and I don't know how long it will go but here it goes...

I don't like my attitude lately. I've always been a very positive and optimistic person. Ready for any challenge. I am a true believer of the growth mindset vs the fix mindset, and I am all about the growth mindset. I enjoy growing and becoming better at things. I appreciate feedback. I know I am a work in progress and always will be.

But lately...lately I feel like I have taken a step back.

Every day at work (yes, still in the slowlane and maybe this is a big reason why) I feel the dread to go to work. I enjoy talking to my coworkers and I am overly positive and cheerful (for the most part) at work. But lately everything is...heavy. I feel absolutely burned out and it is like my mind is VERY foggy. It is almost hard to concentrate on anything for a long period of time because I barely have the energy to do so.

I currently live in a very busy HCOL city. One of the "top" cities in the US. I believe the fact that there are so many people and the fact that the weather has basically sucked all year also has a big part to do with it.

I'm also a big believer in Extreme Ownership (really good book btw) but lately I haven't been taking that much ownership about basically anything. My team has been hard to deal with it but how much is it my fault? I just don't know what I should do to fix it. Or change it.

I also feel a bit overwhelmed and stuck. I know I want to get out of the slowlane and have my own freedom. But I have quite a few limited believes and soooo many excuses in my head. So I feel that also has a lot to do with it.

Anyway...I just felt like I needed to rant a bit in case someone else has gone through something similar. In very basic terms: I get frustrated quickly, it is hard to focus or dedicate much energy to work, and in general I'm just exhausted and burned out about it all.

Thanks for reading


Look, I would give you some piece of advice, but I will be better to recommend you a person I know and could easily solve your situation (at least, in a noticeable way). Just search Vic Blaz in YouTube.
Ok, as it is a spanish channel it may be a problem, but actually the 99% of everything posted will work; I mean improving your energy levels and , of course, taking ownership of your life (giving up procrastination, mathematical expressions for overcome laziness and so on) from the perspective of science.

Long story short, if you can manage with Spanish, you won't regret Vic Blaz at all.
 
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jramos02

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Look, I would give you some piece of advice, but I will be better to recommend you a person I know and could easily solve your situation (at least, in a noticeable way). Just search Vic Blaz in YouTube.
Ok, as it is a spanish channel it may be a problem, but actually the 99% of everything posted will work; I mean improving your energy levels and , of course, taking ownership of your life (giving up procrastination, mathematical expressions for overcome laziness and so on) from the perspective of science.

Long story short, if you can manage with Spanish, you won't regret Vic Blaz at all.

Spanish is actually my first language :). So I will check it out. Thank you very much!
 

Mattie

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This might be a slight rant and I don't know how long it will go but here it goes...

I don't like my attitude lately. I've always been a very positive and optimistic person. Ready for any challenge. I am a true believer of the growth mindset vs the fix mindset, and I am all about the growth mindset. I enjoy growing and becoming better at things. I appreciate feedback. I know I am a work in progress and always will be.

But lately...lately I feel like I have taken a step back.

Every day at work (yes, still in the slowlane and maybe this is a big reason why) I feel the dread to go to work. I enjoy talking to my coworkers and I am overly positive and cheerful (for the most part) at work. But lately everything is...heavy. I feel absolutely burned out and it is like my mind is VERY foggy. It is almost hard to concentrate on anything for a long period of time because I barely have the energy to do so.

I currently live in a very busy HCOL city. One of the "top" cities in the US. I believe the fact that there are so many people and the fact that the weather has basically sucked all year also has a big part to do with it.

I'm also a big believer in Extreme Ownership (really good book btw) but lately I haven't been taking that much ownership about basically anything. My team has been hard to deal with it but how much is it my fault? I just don't know what I should do to fix it. Or change it.

I also feel a bit overwhelmed and stuck. I know I want to get out of the slowlane and have my own freedom. But I have quite a few limited believes and soooo many excuses in my head. So I feel that also has a lot to do with it.

Anyway...I just felt like I needed to rant a bit in case someone else has gone through something similar. In very basic terms: I get frustrated quickly, it is hard to focus or dedicate much energy to work, and in general I'm just exhausted and burned out about it all.

Thanks for reading
Do you do any water sports or recreational activities. Often this helps a lot with emotions. This helps balance emotions. Even if it's swimming, sitting in a hot tub, or whatever. I've grown up by the great lakes, so this was just natural for me to be out in the water.

Sometimes fishing is fun as well as meditative.

Being outdoors helps a lot, no matter what type of recreational activity, but even if you go to a fitness center there is also indoor opportunities.

Expressing self in writing like someone mentioned above is always quite a good opportunity to clear out thoughts.
 

jramos02

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Do you do any water sports or recreational activities. Often this helps a lot with emotions. This helps balance emotions. Even if it's swimming, sitting in a hot tub, or whatever. I've grown up by the great lakes, so this was just natural for me to be out in the water.

Sometimes fishing is fun as well as meditative.

Being outdoors helps a lot, no matter what type of recreational activity, but even if you go to a fitness center there is also indoor opportunities.

Expressing self in writing like someone mentioned above is always quite a good opportunity to clear out thoughts.

I used to swim quite a bit when I was younger. Pretty much every summer. It is harder where I live now but back then it was definitely something I truly enjoyed.

One of the main pain points right now, I think, is that I am far away from family and friends which is always a little tough. There's, I suppose, many area of my live that are missing/not aligned. Gotta keep analyzing that and make a decision of what I would like to do.

Definitely need more nature in my life too like you suggested!
 
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Late Bloomer

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Great comments already in this thread!

I wonder if raising your vision for yourself has had something to do with your dissatisfaction. If you used to be an optimistic Slowlaner, then the idea of some hassles but mostly happy days at the office, putting two percent into the 401k through decades of working for the man... that might've been your view of as it good as it gets for you. But if you're looking at things now through a Fastlane lens, then maybe the expense, commute, daily grind, all to do something you don't get to own no matter how passionate you are... that might not seem like a good enough Script for you to believe in any more. So in that way, the vague dread, the enthusiasm drained away, might be like a stone in your shoe. It's pointing out the contrast between what your life has been so far, and what you want it to be in a better future - one that you define for yourself.
 

killa_graham

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Hey @jramos02, your post resonated with where I've been for the last few months.

Seriously felt like some of the journal entries I've written lately. Maybe some of the conclusions I have come to could be useful for your situation.

Do some reaearch into "burnout". I'd been feeling literally exactly like you mentioned - brain fog, fatigue, change in mental attitude, feeling overwhelmed doing simple stuff etc.

Thought I was going crazy or had a serious health problem but after researching realized these are all symptoms of burnout syndrome. If you would have told me it was a real thing last year I wouldnt have believed it. Would have thought it was total BS made up by "weak people" if I hadn't actually experienced it.

This can come about because of a buildup of stress in any areas of life and trying to push through difficult situations while feeling ill equipped or not having adequate resources to handle it.

Anyway, based on my research and experience I think you could benefit from learning about this and looking into some of the recommendations on how to heal.

Best of luck man.
 

jramos02

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Great comments already in this thread!

I wonder if raising your vision for yourself has had something to do with your dissatisfaction. If you used to be an optimistic Slowlaner, then the idea of some hassles but mostly happy days at the office, putting two percent into the 401k through decades of working for the man... that might've been your view of as it good as it gets for you. But if you're looking at things now through a Fastlane lens, then maybe the expense, commute, daily grind, all to do something you don't get to own no matter how passionate you are... that might not seem like a good enough Script for you to believe in any more. So in that way, the vague dread, the enthusiasm drained away, might be like a stone in your shoe. It's pointing out the contrast between what your life has been so far, and what you want it to be in a better future - one that you define for yourself.

I do think this has a lot to do with it. I feel my internal compass struggling with my day to day. Not to mention that I disagree with a lot of the things I'm being asked to work on. That on top of the fact that my vision of "max out my Roth IRA, plus my 401k, plus invest some of my money and try to retire early by 45" has been definitely destroyed by Unscripted and now The Millionaire Fastlane (as I'm currently listening to it).

The overwhelming feeling of the fact that I don't like the path I'm on but also not being sure which path I should take next.

Hey @jramos02, your post resonated with where I've been for the last few months.

Seriously felt like some of the journal entries I've written lately. Maybe some of the conclusions I have come to could be useful for your situation.

Do some reaearch into "burnout". I'd been feeling literally exactly like you mentioned - brain fog, fatigue, change in mental attitude, feeling overwhelmed doing simple stuff etc.

Thought I was going crazy or had a serious health problem but after researching realized these are all symptoms of burnout syndrome. If you would have told me it was a real thing last year I wouldnt have believed it. Would have thought it was total BS made up by "weak people" if I hadn't actually experienced it.

This can come about because of a buildup of stress in any areas of life and trying to push through difficult situations while feeling ill equipped or not having adequate resources to handle it.

Anyway, based on my research and experience I think you could benefit from learning about this and looking into some of the recommendations on how to heal.

Best of luck man.

I am glad I am not the only one either. I was also wondering if it was just a me thing and a lack of good attitude. I've read up on burnout before but it was super high level so I will make sure I research it more.

The main stress has definitely been from work. There is a LOT going at the same time and like you said, I do feel like I don't have the right support for it nor the adequate resources to handle it. Truly hit the nail on the head.

Thank you for the best wishes and for reading!
 
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