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Are You Depressed? Paralyzed By Fear? Try this...

Almantas

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Hi guys!

I haven't been active for a while. Why? It's quite simple actually - I had been fighting my demons for more than a year. I had been critically depressed. Depression was so serious that I was contemplating suicide at least 5 times a week. Why?

Take my glasses and let's go for a ride...

Long story short, I am quite established guy, but all cool stuff ended when my first business crashed. I fell into very deep depression. I tried to lift myself up once, twice....again and again...only to fall deeper into depression. I created a mental jail where I was an inmate and vicious security guard who did a pretty good job for a long time...

For entire two years I couldn't lift myself up. I turned into fat tart, started smoking weed to release some mental pain and was contemplating suicide and usually falling asleep while still crying in my pillow...crying, because pain was so severe and I was so lost that suicide seemed to be the only answer...

Nobody seemed to care about me. Apart of guys who needed my brain power to come with solutions to solve their problems. As soon as I solved them 'friends' left me and I fell into deep depression once again...

I tried to stand on my feet like 20 times, if not more. Most people gave up on me. To some extent even my mother, who is the only family member I have. But I didn't fully gave up on myself, which is the reason why I am still alive and sharing this story with you all...

I had created multiple threads on forum about my plan for a recovery. All of them gathering dust in archives. I made many plans, which have never been executed to this day... I failed at all of them, again, again, again and damn again!

It seemed like I was possessed by some entity. For entire two years I couldn't pick myself up. I was coming up with various reasons to not work on my business. I was spending hours sitting in a sitting room, pretending to watch a TV while drowning in my own thoughts...I couldn't hear TV, I couldn't hear what people were talking in the room... I was somewhere deep down inside myself. This usually ended up by going upstairs in my room and crying myself to sleep.

It was a f*cked up moment. I have never felt anything close to this...

Until one day... literally three weeks ago something changed...

Couple of months ago I had plans to start 1-3 businesses, which are verified and waiting to be implemented. I decided to start from the very easiest one and take one step at a time.

Now... I will get many angry looks for this, but what I did is this....

I've created a damn Facebook account for my CV and Cover Letter writing services and offered to write a CV and Cover Letter for group members for 2 weeks for free. Yes, for damn free. The only thing I asked them is to like my page and write a review...

So... I started killing my keyboard. I started receiving lovely messages from people who appreciated my effort. I started receiving messages from random people thanking me for my generosity... Likes started growing... reviews began climbing up...

I don't know what the F happened, but after like 1-2 days I felt like turning from a sick guy into a healthy human being I once was. Depression disappeared. It felt like a priest kicked out ugly demon out of me. It was like seeing sun for the first time after two years - all clouds disappeared.

I was like WTF...don't know what's this, but I am hooked. I continued writing... likes continued climbing, reviews growing...

It's now third week, I have 500 likes and 80 five star reviews from people who wrote entire paragraphs how great my service is and how professional my works are...

Plus, I got 4 paying customers, which is not much, but healing process is worth more than $100'000s. I am finally looking forward to future, lost damn 16 kilograms, started eating healthy, going to gym, waking up in the morning, stopped smoking weed entirely and am a lot less negative...plus my reputation among group members is insanely good, for instance... I posted a post yesterday about my CV and Cover Letter writing services and got like 150 likes and many shares - yeah, you gonna scream "F*ck your likes when you have 0 conversion rate!" - but this is not the point, the point is that people are appreciating what I do and I am damn hooked on that.

My plan is now to stop writing for free and slowly merge into different lane, a lane of monetizing my services, creating marketing and automation strategy and letting my bird fly high, high into the blue sky...

I know, some of you will say my happiness is built on bullshit. Others will say that depression will crawl back... others will probably point out that I will fail, because my current conversion rate is minimal...blah blah... I don't give a damn about this, you know why? Because this strategy has literally saved me from a suicide and I've made a damn huge amount of people happy...3 of my customers even got jobs due to my CV and Cover Letter - one of them is Italian female aged 35 who got a job today and asked me to meet for a coffee...and maybe even more? Lol.

So yeah, this post is geared towards those people who are depressed and paralyzed like I once was. You're not alone and instead of crying yourself into the pillow, go out and do something for free. Just do something. Don't think about making millions and kicking MJ off his throne - I hope my joke is understood properly, lol.

I am finally back to the family - The Fastlane Forum :) Love you guys!
 
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WJK

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I had been critically depressed. Depression was so serious that I was contemplating suicide at least 5 times a week...
I am finally back to the family -
Glad you're back. Keeping going. Don't stop. Work until you fall into bed at night. Sleep deeply and then go back to work. Talk to your customers. See your reflection in their eyes and words. Then look in your mirror and see that same reflection as your true self. You are worthy.

This is your new beginning. You'll never go back to that corner of hell. Surviving this experience will make you so much stronger. You're old demons can never again pull you down that far. Your courage to live has earned you your ticket to personal freedom.

In time, you will slow down and reflect. You'll have that moment when you finally sit down and take a deep breath. In the meantime, work hard and keep riding your winning streak.
 

Almantas

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Glad you're back. Keeping going. Don't stop. Work until you fall into bed at night. Sleep deeply and then go back to work. Talk to your customers. See your reflection in their eyes and words. Then look in your mirror and see that same reflection as your true self. You are worthy.

This is your new beginning. You'll never go back to that corner of hell. Surviving this experience will make you so much stronger. You're old demons can never again pull you down that far. Your courage to live has earned you your ticket to personal freedom.

In time, you will slow down and reflect. You'll have that moment when you finally sit down and take a deep breath. In the meantime, work hard and keep riding your winning streak.

Thanks for such a wonderful reply!
 

Real Deal Denver

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Been there myself.

I have a picture right next to my computer screen which has the quote:

Change your thoughts, and change your world. Norman Vincent Peale

You have to care for and feed your mind. I read motivational books steadily. All kinds. Do NOT let your work define who you are and take over your life. Take time to recharge your spirit (be happy) and your mind (be confident). You don't have a substitute for those. You can, however, fill any holes in your skill set very easily, so that is not nearly as important as your outlook and confidence.

I am expecting a customer to kick me in the head tomorrow - and I'm ready for it. I work with so many idiots it's unbelievable. But in the end, it doesn't matter who is the smarter one, or who is the stronger one - it matters who likes themselves better and who walks away with the check (I'm talking business here, not personal life). Let them feed their egos - let them gloat - let them belittle people. It doesn't matter. They can be replaced quickly.

As long as YOU know your worth - and in your case, you have PLENTY - then it's all good.

Welcome back to the world of happiness! As I have gone through this, I can assure you with NO doubt that, from this point onward, you are much smarter and much stronger for what you have endured.

Kudos, brother, and continued success for you in everything that you do!
 
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ZF Lee

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Hi guys!

I haven't been active for a while. Why? It's quite simple actually - I had been fighting my demons for more than a year. I had been critically depressed. Depression was so serious that I was contemplating suicide at least 5 times a week. Why?

Take my glasses and let's go for a ride...

Long story short, I am quite established guy, but all cool stuff ended when my first business crashed. I fell into very deep depression. I tried to lift myself up once, twice....again and again...only to fall deeper into depression. I created a mental jail where I was an inmate and vicious security guard who did a pretty good job for a long time...

For entire two years I couldn't lift myself up. I turned into fat tart, started smoking weed to release some mental pain and was contemplating suicide and usually falling asleep while still crying in my pillow...crying, because pain was so severe and I was so lost that suicide seemed to be the only answer...

Nobody seemed to care about me. Apart of guys who needed my brain power to come with solutions to solve their problems. As soon as I solved them 'friends' left me and I fell into deep depression once again...

I tried to stand on my feet like 20 times, if not more. Most people gave up on me. To some extent even my mother, who is the only family member I have. But I didn't fully gave up on myself, which is the reason why I am still alive and sharing this story with you all...

I had created multiple threads on forum about my plan for a recovery. All of them gathering dust in archives. I made many plans, which have never been executed to this day... I failed at all of them, again, again, again and damn again!

It seemed like I was possessed by some entity. For entire two years I couldn't pick myself up. I was coming up with various reasons to not work on my business. I was spending hours sitting in a sitting room, pretending to watch a TV while drowning in my own thoughts...I couldn't hear TV, I couldn't hear what people were talking in the room... I was somewhere deep down inside myself. This usually ended up by going upstairs in my room and crying myself to sleep.

It was a f*cked up moment. I have never felt anything close to this...

Until one day... literally three weeks ago something changed...

Couple of months ago I had plans to start 1-3 businesses, which are verified and waiting to be implemented. I decided to start from the very easiest one and take one step at a time.

Now... I will get many angry looks for this, but what I did is this....

I've created a damn Facebook account for my CV and Cover Letter writing services and offered to write a CV and Cover Letter for group members for 2 weeks for free. Yes, for damn free. The only thing I asked them is to like my page and write a review...

So... I started killing my keyboard. I started receiving lovely messages from people who appreciated my effort. I started receiving messages from random people thanking me for my generosity... Likes started growing... reviews began climbing up...

I don't know what the F happened, but after like 1-2 days I felt like turning from a sick guy into a healthy human being I once was. Depression disappeared. It felt like a priest kicked out ugly demon out of me. It was like seeing sun for the first time after two years - all clouds disappeared.

I was like WTF...don't know what's this, but I am hooked. I continued writing... likes continued climbing, reviews growing...

It's now third week, I have 500 likes and 80 five star reviews from people who wrote entire paragraphs how great my service is and how professional my works are...

Plus, I got 4 paying customers, which is not much, but healing process is worth more than $100'000s. I am finally looking forward to future, lost damn 10 kilograms, started eating healthy, going to gym, waking up in the morning, stopped smoking weed entirely and am a lot less negative...plus my reputation among group members is insanely good, for instance... I posted a post yesterday about my CV and Cover Letter writing services and got like 150 likes and many shares - yeah, you gonna scream "f*ck your likes when you have 0 conversion rate!" - but this is not the point, the point is that people are appreciating what I do and I am damn hooked on that.

My plan is now to stop writing for free and slowly merge into different lane, a lane of monetizing my services, creating marketing and automation strategy and letting my bird fly high, high into the blue sky...

I know, some of you will say my happiness is built on bullshit. Others will say that depression will crawl back... others will probably point out that I will fail, because my current conversion rate is minimal...blah blah... I don't give a damn about this, you know why? Because this strategy has literally saved me from a suicide and I've made a damn huge amount of people happy...3 of my customers even got jobs due to my CV and Cover Letter - one of them is Italian female aged 35 who got a job today and asked me to meet for a coffee...and maybe even more? Lol.

So yeah, this post is geared towards those people who are depressed and paralyzed like I once was. You're not alone and instead of crying yourself into the pillow, go out and do something for free. Just do something. Don't think about making millions and kicking MJ off his throne - I hope my joke is understood properly, lol.

I am finally back to the family - The Fastlane Forum :) Love you guys!
Well done! Thank you for sharing this epic!

Such stories, no matter how humble they may be, are what keep making me come back here.

May I suggest opening up a channel on Quora like I did.

I also suffered some mild depression and isolation issues, given the Fastlane is a lonely road. Now writing posts on Quora give me a ready audience to talk to and interact with on a regular basis.

It's about the feedback mechanism loop.

I suppose curing depression has some similarities with the money-chasing and the do-what-you-love debacles.

To get the meaning and purpose that drives us to do work and be high-spirited, we need to take action to find the things that give us that!

In your case, your CV services was the clincher!

On monetising, you can jump into Upwork or Fiverr for that for the initial traction. People are looking for jobs every day these days. They will need better CVs.

Yup...I understand your MJ joke lol. He has been 'kicked off' the throne many times with younger Fastlaners like you making better progress than him.

I do trust that it is better to make millions with a happy spirit than without one.


Although I am sure you will be in top-top shape for a great long time....
Feel free to PM me if you feel the 'demon' crawl back in. I am not a psychologist or certified counsellor, but I did have a run-in with depression a few times myself.;):smile2:
 

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You have to care for and feed your mind. I read motivational books steadily. All kinds.

I do the same thing. If you haven't read it already, I suggest you read The magic of thinking big by David J Schwartz. It's one of the best books I've ever read. I read it at least 5 times in two years.
 

Real Deal Denver

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I do the same thing. If you haven't read it already, I suggest you read The magic of thinking big by David J Schwartz. It's one of the best books I've ever read. I read it at least 5 times in two years.

Thanks for the tip. I'm reading it now. It was written in 1959, and is still growing.

I learned on my own how to recognize defeatists and the weakening effect they can have on me, and how to deal with them. This is the anecdote. Everyone should have this to plug into their brain. I see why you have read it multiple times.
 
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ironman150

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You just verified one of my favorite phrases from Brian Tracy.

"utilize the only antidote for anger (fear) or worry: ACTION"

you took some action, it worked and are now taking more. There is nothing better than BEING ON THE ROAD to results. It is actually better than reaching any goals you may have.

CONGRATS and welcome back.
 

Almantas

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Guys, thanks for your awesome feedback and support!

I've received a number of very supportive messages from people who dealt with depression themselves or their relatives did.

I decided to take action after going deeper into Grant Cardone's philosophy. Hate him or love him, he's a genuine hustler and grinder and also suffered from extreme depression and anxiety until 25 - including extensive weed smoking.
 

Rockford

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Thanks for sharing your story, @Almantas — the good, the bad, and the ugly. It takes courage to admit to our hurts, frustrations and disappointments.

Seems you found one of the "secrets" to happiness is simply finding ways to help others achieve their goals, something that's preached again and again on this forum.

Now, if you monetize this (without losing sight of helping others, first and foremost), my guess is you'll have a damned fine business that will give you joy and also open additional avenues to build Fastlane businesses.

Great stuff. Looking forward to hearing more about your future successes!
 
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Almantas

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Thanks for sharing your story, @Almantas — the good, the bad, and the ugly. It takes courage to admit to our hurts, frustrations and disappointments.

Seems you found one of the "secrets" to happiness is simply finding ways to help others achieve their goals, something that's preached again and again on this forum.

Now, if you monetize this (without losing sight of helping others, first and foremost), my guess is you'll have a damned fine business that will give you joy and also open additional avenues to build Fastlane businesses.

Great stuff. Looking forward to hearing more about your future successes!

Thanks mate! Really appreciate!

You've no idea how happy I feel - literally like winning a second shot at life. It seems like someone hit a 'restart' button and I am back to normal...I know, sounds more than weird, lol.
 

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Thanks for such a wonderful reply!
You're in good company. There's a bunch of us out there who have traveled a similar path.

If there is a hell, I have lived in many of its rooms and I know it intimately. Huge doses of meaningful work have always been my antidote for my unfortunate beginning as a kid. I'm a classic boot-strap business person. I've had some pretty bone jarring failures along the way. But, through them I have always found a new path, that has lead me back to some kind of meaningful work.
 

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Hey, it's great to see you are back and don't beat yourself up on the 3 paying customers you've now gained, this is proof you are helping people.

I always hear Andy's voice in my head saying, "help at least one person" 1 will grow to more.

I read Andy's post again about "stop building stuff" focus on the why and how you are helping people and it seems this is exactly what you are doing, hence that empowering feeling from within that you are experiencing.

I'm happy to see you are in your element helping people and making conversions/building a clientele as you proceed, keep this up, proud of you man!!!
 
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Almantas

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You're in good company. There's a bunch of us out there who have traveled a similar path.

Thanks for your input! That's why this forum is such an awesome place - because it has experienced and good-hearted people as yourself. Really humbled to be here!

I always hear Andy's voice in my head saying, "help at least one person" 1 will grow to more.

You're right, @Andy Black goes straight for the prize. I was naturally academically minded, reading dozens of books and not taking a single step forward. To be honest, I didn't follow his advice, I just did what I thought was the right thing to do at that time and that's exactly what @Andy Black advocates! It's powerful, yet so simple!
 

Andy Black

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What a great story @Almantas. No need to be apologetic about any of it.

If I ever get tangled up, I just remember who I'm trying to help, and what I'm helping them with.

As @MJ DeMarco says, the feedback loop is so important, not just for market "validation", but also to keep you going.

What a fabulous feedback loop of people telling you you've changed their lives.

Whenever you lose your way, just remember what you've already done and who you've already helped.

Whenever I tell the story of helping my electrician friend I still get the hairs come up on the back of my neck. I helped a man with a wife and kids out a roof over his head and food on his table.



"Pick a direction. Get started. Keep going."

Getting started seems to be the hardest part for many people.

Keeping going is much easier when you have feedback.

Well done. Keep going.
 

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Plus, I got 4 paying customers, which is not much, but healing process is worth more than $100'000s.

Amen to that.

There is so much more to life than money.

I was closing one of my B&M locations yesterday and an ex-employee showed up to give me a hug and express her condolences over the business closing.

Single mother of a down syndrome child.

Worked for me for 6 years. Was firmly on the sidewalk when she started her employ with me. Excellent employee.

I watched her over those 6 years turn her life around, and from using the Dave Ramsey book I gave her, she got out of debt, got a degree in accounting, and now works for the second largest accounting firm in the state.

We had many, many hours together debating what she was learning in school while she was working. Especially her business classes! (college professors are convinced you are doomed without a business plan lol)

I gave her a glowing review, both in writing and verbally, when she applied for her current accounting gig.

Now she's kicking a$$ in the slowlane (nothing wrong with that), and has improved her and her kid's life immeasurably.

I'm super proud of her.

There's more to life than money.

Just keep engaging with and providing value to people, and you'll be alright...both mentally and financially.
 
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The EL Maven

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Thank you for posting this. I think even besides all the likes and comments you've gotten, you have stumbled upon a truth for all of us to learn from: producing cures emotion.

Your post will linger with me for a long while, and again, thank you for that.
 

Almantas

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Thank you for posting this. I think even besides all the likes and comments you've gotten, you have stumbled upon a truth for all of us to learn from: producing cures emotion.

Your post will linger with me for a long while, and again, thank you for that.

@The EL Maven I am beyond delighted that my personal lessons are somewhat inspiration and provides some tips for other to learn from! This is why I posted this story in the first place. I wouldn't post anything similar on social media, because most people are too close-minded and blind to read between the lines to understand the true value.

@Andy Black Thanks for your input and opinion on the matter. The story you've mentioned has stuck with me for a long time. Helping someone dive up to the surface and then guiding them to the shore is a lot more satisfactory than making another million for a multinational that couldn't care less.

@MidwestLandlord Looks like you've thought a woman how to fish and provide for her family long after you've gone. IMO this is a lot more valuable than simply providing her with a comfortable salary. She's now able to fish for herself and feed her son as much as she likes. This is truly inspirational in itself. Well done for raising her up and letting her see the bright side.

P.S. I hope your closure is nothing but a re-structuring of your successful business. B&Ms aren't that important anymore when you know how to properly sell online - again, my guess.
 

Almantas

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Very inspiration post!

Thanks for your honesty and sincerity - it's very rare to come across such honest people nowadays, especially online.

You've provided many lessons for us to learn from!

Thanks again! :)

Thank You Brother! :)
 

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You're not alone and instead of crying yourself into the pillow, go out and do something for free. Just do something. Don't think about making millions and kicking MJ off his throne

Thanks for sharing! I've been in a rut myself, working a job where I'm paid well but struggling to get out of bed. A big part of that is that I've lost a sense of purpose and connecting to the people that I help with my job.

I've been kicking around some ideas with how I can help others just for fun and see where it goes. I'm pretty experienced with remote work, and I've hired a lot of remote workers, and I know a lot of people would love to work remotely like I do.

Cheers to you and whatever's next!
 
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Almantas

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Thanks for sharing! I've been in a rut myself, working a job where I'm paid well but struggling to get out of bed. A big part of that is that I've lost a sense of purpose and connecting to the people that I help with my job.

I've been kicking around some ideas with how I can help others just for fun and see where it goes. I'm pretty experienced with remote work, and I've hired a lot of remote workers, and I know a lot of people would love to work remotely like I do.

Cheers to you and whatever's next!

Thanks! Keep up your great work and when the bad times come knocking your door, remember there's someone you can help and make money at the same time - you just got to find who and how you can help them.
 

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@Almantas Thanks for sharing your story. I hope things continue to get better for you. Every person that you help (paid or not) is verification that the world is better for having you in it.
Keep up the great work
 

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Thanks family, for believing in me and wishing me the best! Having your support is very important.

Motion creates emotion.

That's true, however I'm not yet sure what kind of emotion it's.
 

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What a great story! Thanks for sharing. I'm happy for you :)

Being useful for other people, providing value to them, is a basic psychological need in my opinion. When I was working on recruiting members to some NGOs I met some people who was receiving help from the NGO.

A man in his 50s came to me. He was unemployed for 2 years. He told me that the best help he was receiving from the NGO was not the food or a place to stay. It was the opportunity to collaborate as a volunteer, doing something for other people, feeling himself useful and with a purpose. He was depressed before start volunteering.

Providing value for others is not only a matter of success, but of happiness.
 

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What a great story! Thanks for sharing. I'm happy for you :)

Being useful for other people, providing value to them, is a basic psychological need in my opinion. When I was working on recruiting members to some NGOs I met some people who was receiving help from the NGO.

A man in his 50s came to me. He was unemployed for 2 years. He told me that the best help he was receiving from the NGO was not the food or a place to stay. It was the opportunity to collaborate as a volunteer, doing something for other people, feeling himself useful and with a purpose. He was depressed before start volunteering.

Providing value for others is not only a matter of success, but of happiness.

Thanks for sharing bro!
 
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Almantas

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Just a small update:

I got like 8 paying customers this week with minimal marketing efforts. TBH I had no time for marketing this week, was smashing my keyboard entire week and making my customers happy!

This is a small project, but it has flipped a switch in my subconscious that helped me raise above the mud. Onwards and upwards from now on!

Thanks all for support!
 

Claude Roy

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@Almantas Wow, what a beautiful transformation. I'm so glad to hear that you are crushing it and feeling better and helping people at the same time. It takes a lot of courage to share everything that you've shared. Even sharing this helped me because I've been through the same dark place and it was not even as bad as you, so it truly shows how strong we human beings really are and how much potential we have. I am truly proud of you my friend. If there's anything that pops up even though I really doubt it, message me and know that there are people that love and care about you :)

Sincerely,

Claude
 

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