Bekit
Legendary Contributor
FASTLANE INSIDER
EPIC CONTRIBUTOR
Read Fastlane!
Summit Attendee
Speedway Pass
User Power
Value/Post Ratio
492%
- Aug 13, 2018
- 1,158
- 5,699
I took a quick look through your threads just now.
Your intro:
You felt lost and wanted to quit college.
Fortunately, you decided not to quit.
You tried Lex's Upwork tutorial, but gave up the same day.
You started a progress thread and got some really good advice.
You had a minimum wage job as a dishwasher and landed a better-paying job that allowed you to work from home on a company laptop. This sounds like a dream to give you the flexibility to pursue entrepreneurship.
The job apparently brought you good things.
You don't have a clear goal and don't really know how to set one.
Your schedule is not very disciplined.
You do have high expectations for yourself.
You realize that you need discipline and work ethic.
You've actually had a bunch of really good contacts with potential mentors.
You experience a fair amount of anger at times. This reduces your ability to produce.
You've asked for a fair amount of advice.
You started a business! Yay!
That was April 22, 2020.
By April 28, you and your cofounder had already decided to part ways.
On May 4, you were still excited about the business and asking about how to build your social media presence.
By May 6, you were losing interest. You're not even really sure why or what to do about it.
And on May 12, you shared your observation that you work better with others.
Here's what stands out to me the most from all this. This is the common thread I see running through your posts.
I think you struggle with self-motivation. And that defeats your progress, which leads to self-hatred and beating yourself up.
(I say this out of kindness, not out of accusation or "piling on" to the self-beating you're already giving yourself. I am very similar. I know how it feels. I know how frustrating it can be to just not be able to MAKE YOURSELF DO WHAT YOU KNOW IS IN YOUR BEST INTEREST.)
So - here are some practical thoughts that I think can help you get out of the negative feedback loop you're currently stuck in, and change it for a positive one.
Your intro:
INTRO - Hello, I'm lost right now. I'd love advice.
Hey all. I’m not sure if if I should be posting this in my introduction but I need advice right now. I’m 19. I just finished my first year of university studying business. I have no idea what I’m doing with my life right now. A few years ago, I read books like The Millionaire Fastlane , and...
www.thefastlaneforum.com
You felt lost and wanted to quit college.
I know I want to live a great extraordinary life, I want to be recognized as a great figure.
I recently told my parents about these thoughts I’m having about dropping out. They didn’t take it well. My dad has been pretty depressed since I told him a week ago. He thinks I’m getting brainwashed online and that I have no idea how the real world works. He doesn’t know if I’m even made for business and entrepreneurship. I don’t know either, all I know is that I want to be great. However, my actions have not supported this. I have been very lazy, and even though I did well (in terms of marks) in my first year of university, I have yet to make money on my own, and I have yet to start working on any business.
I spend time watching sports and tv shows and being pissed off about my life. I pretty much don’t have any real skills. I do dish washing as a part time job. However, I sense that I have something “special” inside of me.
Fortunately, you decided not to quit.
I'm studying business at school. One of the top schools in my country. It opens doors in terms of networking and there a lot of opportunities around. Honestly, I was considering quitting school (just finished my first year). I decided against it for now.
You tried Lex's Upwork tutorial, but gave up the same day.
NOTABLE! - SIDE HUSTLE - Lex DeVille's 2019-22 Step-By-Step Upwork Tutorial for Brokeass Bootstrap Beginners Who Need Cash Now!
Thank you for your interest in joining Upwork. We have reviewed your application to join, and regret to inform you that we are unable to accept your Upwork freelancer registration at this time. Please do not consider this a reflection of your abilities [...] Great. I followed the guide. Nice...
www.thefastlaneforum.com
Alright, I'm committing. Thanks man.
I want freedom over my life. I'm 19 and I grew up in a family that is stuck in the SCRIPTED perspective. I don't want to live that life. I want control and power over my circumstances. I want time to be on my side. I want to have fun and enjoy myself. I want to bring positive change to people and to humanity. I want to grow to my full potential and I know how difficult that is going to be. Entrepreneurship is the way to to do that, and I need to start somewhere. I haven't done shit so far. I've just been reading books since I was 16 when I discovered this forum and TMF. It's time for action. Since you're such a big member of this forum, I will give this a shot.
- Why are you doing this?
My endgame in life? Sure I'll give it a shot. I want to be remembered as one of the greatest people of all time. I want a real legacy behind my name, one where I helped many people. But I also want to feel as though I lived life to my full capacity.
- Describe your endgame in specific detail...
Hey I'm sorry. Just watched the first couple videos and seems like I got the wrong idea about what this thread was going to be. Unfortunately I don't think I can freelance at Upwork because I don't have any freelancing skills. I thought this video series was going to be teaching some of those skills so that I could use them when freelancing. Anyways, my bad.
You started a progress thread and got some really good advice.
EXECUTION - 19 year old's entreprenuerial journey starting from the bottom
I first read TMF 2 or 3 years ago. During this time, I have not made progress in terms of financial independence. However, I have done things like go from a skinny-fat socially awkward teenager to a person who regularly goes to the gym and who is comfortable talking to people. But I want more. I...
www.thefastlaneforum.com
You had a minimum wage job as a dishwasher and landed a better-paying job that allowed you to work from home on a company laptop. This sounds like a dream to give you the flexibility to pursue entrepreneurship.
- Working as a dish washer, minimum wage (14 bucks an hour for 42 hours bi-weekly). Been working there for over a month. So I make 294$ a week on 21 hours.
- Had a job interview at a prestigious company (connection from parents). Got the job. Training starts in 2 weeks. I will be working 40 hours a week there as a technician help-desk person. I have no experience in tech or in a professional setting so this will be good for me. Also, the pay will be 18$/hour instead of 14$, and will rise to 22$/hour once school starts in September (they want me to work 10 hrs/week during the school year). Also, this is a job where I will be working from home on a laptop they give me, so no cost of transportation. So I will be making 720$ a week on 40 hours soon. And 220$ a week on 10 hours when the school year starts.
The job apparently brought you good things.
So I got a job, made some good money. Then I got some nice fitting clothes. I went to the gym consistently. Then I made big strides socially. Pretty much I improved my overall confidence and happiness in life.
You don't have a clear goal and don't really know how to set one.
My goals are super vague long-term goals. As for specific short-term ones, those are difficult as of now because I still haven't figured out what product/service/business to focus on. I'm going to be trying a bunch of things and seeing what works and go from there.
The thing is, these lifetime goals are so vague. I know I want to have a big audience, I know I want to run successful businesses, I know I want to reach my highest potential in all areas of life. But these vague goals can't get more specific because most of the specifics are learned during the process, and these specifics are always changing.
Your schedule is not very disciplined.
I usually wake up at 10-11 am. I do, however, unfortunately consume too much and produce too little (or nothing at all). Definitely something I need to change.
You do have high expectations for yourself.
the very fact that I'm even existing is a freaking miracle, and to be in this poisition, at 19 years of age, in a great developed country with a healthy body is something to be very grateful for. I've had very high expectations for myself and this has led to a form of paralysis. I've been trying to let go of those expectations and live more so in the moment.
You realize that you need discipline and work ethic.
- Wasted most of my time doing stuff like watching TV. Utter waste of time. I need to be better. I need to have more precise goals/commitments and create an environment that makes it easier for me to make good progress. Discipline is the most important thing and I'm seriously lacking in this area. My work ethic is garbage.
- I just couldn't bring myself to do anything productive. I tried learning about freelancing from reading some of Lex's posts but I didn't get far. I don't know what's wrong with me. I seem to have no motivation, no urgency, and no energy to do anything productive in reaching financial independence. I'm beating myself up over this.
Today's rating:
- Bad day. Just stayed in bed. Went outside a few times but did nothing productive. At this point, this is worse than action-faking because there isn't even any action being taken. I'm embarrassed.
You've actually had a bunch of really good contacts with potential mentors.
- Was considering dropping out but met with an entrepreneur over coffee two weeks ago who convinced me it would be best to not drop out until I have a business running and making real progress. He also recommended starting the t-shirt Shopify store I will mention soon.
- I've been talking to this entrepreneur who made it big time and who went to my university. We spoke on the phone and he talked about all the different side hustles he did when he was at my uni, stuff I had never thought about, maybe I could do some of those things next year. I set up a meeting at his office. Now he owns a big business.
- Found a guy a few years older who is doing social media for 6-7 businesses. I'm setting something up with him to go under his wing and just to try to add value and to learn as much as I can from him, I don't care about the money right now. Goal should be to learn as much and then to try to replicate what he does with just one business to start with.
- Got in contact with an old friend of mine (who used to be my boss for another job and who's like 10 years older than me). This guy is a true entrepreneur. He's tried it all and seems to be pretty damn successful from what we talked about on the phone. I'm going to look to set up a proper meeting with him and to see if he knows what is a good avenue/industry to focus on at the moment.
You experience a fair amount of anger at times. This reduces your ability to produce.
Those guys all have their own businesses and legit websites. I hate to admit it, but seeing their success really pissed me off. That ruined another big chunk of my day. I tried my best to be stoic and compare myself to who I was yesterday instead of other people but it was hard. I was just super angry the second half of the day.
I'm truly pissed off at things. I just want to have a damn FTE moment. I want to be focused and happy with my process.
- This thread has just become a joke. Like what's the damn point anymore. I feel like everyone reading this probably thinks I'm a dreampreneur, action faker, and the million of other words used to describe wannabe entrepreneurs. I need to pull it together.
You've asked for a fair amount of advice.
HOT! - Saved up 3 thousand dollars and I don't want to make a mistake. Looking for advice.
I'm 19. Been working during the summer. I have saved up about 3 thousand dollars. However, I've very tempted to spend half of that on a shitty car, another 5 hundred dollars on some clothing (since I have absolutely no wardrobe), and the other thousand on other things I want (such as getting a...
www.thefastlaneforum.com
IDEA - Would like some feedback on this business idea
Hi all, The other day I was talking with some friends when I came up with a business idea. For context, I'm a college student. I asked myself: "What is something that all college students want?". They want to have access to parties and social events. I thought, why not create an app that...
www.thefastlaneforum.com
IDEA - FTE - What to do after you have an idea?
So I know this question is extremely basic. I've read both of MJ's books. But can someone please explain to me what it is that I need to do exactly after I have an idea. Currently, I have an idea for a website/app/social platform. It's very unique. There's nothing like it after doing a little...
www.thefastlaneforum.com
EXECUTION - Next Steps for my Online Business?
I created an online business with my cofounder a few weeks ago. I'm 20, he's 21. So far, we've done some market research, an experiment to test our idea, wrote a 10 page business plan, created a prototype website, and applied for funding. We have also had a chance to speak with a lot of people...
www.thefastlaneforum.com
Legal Question - Someone building our website for free
I started an online business a few weeks ago. The long-term vision of the business is to have it become some sort of a social platform. For now, however, we just want to create a website. An acquaintance/friend of mine has agreed to create the initial website for us for free. My cofounder...
www.thefastlaneforum.com
You started a business! Yay!
EXECUTION - A Platform for Challenges - My Business
Hello everyone reading! I created an online business with my cofounder a few weeks ago. So far, we've done some market research, an experiment to test our idea, wrote a 10 page business plan, created a prototype website, applied for funding, and interviewed several potential CTOs. The...
www.thefastlaneforum.com
I created an online business with my cofounder a few weeks ago. So far, we've done some market research, an experiment to test our idea, wrote a 10 page business plan, created a prototype website, applied for funding, and interviewed several potential CTOs.
That was April 22, 2020.
By April 28, you and your cofounder had already decided to part ways.
My cofounder and I decided it would be best to part ways.
On May 4, you were still excited about the business and asking about how to build your social media presence.
SOCIAL MEDIA - MARKETING - Launch coming up. How do I build a social media presence?
I started an online business about a month ago. The long-term vision is to have it become a social platform. It's a minimal viable product (MVP). We are trying to launch as soon as we can. I believe that before we launch, we first need to create buzz, and creating a social media presence. What...
www.thefastlaneforum.com
By May 6, you were losing interest. You're not even really sure why or what to do about it.
I've quickly lost passion for the business I started a month ago. I used to work all day on it. Now It's hard for me to sit down even for half an hour.
I started a business a month ago, and I was really into it and working all day everyday on it. But about a week ago I just lost all passion it seems. I can't even sit down for an hour to work on it. Why do you think that happened?
And on May 12, you shared your observation that you work better with others.
I Can't Work Alone... Only With Others
I've noticed that I can't work alone. I start thinking instead of doing. I start over analyzing every single decision and start doubting myself. But when I work with others, or with a partner, everything is put into perspective. It's almost as though I don't want to let my partner down, or my...
www.thefastlaneforum.com
I've noticed that I can't work alone. I start thinking instead of doing. I start over analyzing every single decision and start doubting myself.
But when I work with others, or with a partner, everything is put into perspective. It's almost as though I don't want to let my partner down, or my partner's image of me down. A business partner keeps me accountable, and I work hard without over analyzing every decision.
Is anyone else like this?
I'm curious to understand why I'm like this. It isn't even just business. For school, for example, I'm 10 times more productive if I have a study buddy, if I head to the library with someone.
With some other things I'm different. When it comes to working out, for example, I'm very self-motivated and can work out every single day.
Here's what stands out to me the most from all this. This is the common thread I see running through your posts.
I think you struggle with self-motivation. And that defeats your progress, which leads to self-hatred and beating yourself up.
(I say this out of kindness, not out of accusation or "piling on" to the self-beating you're already giving yourself. I am very similar. I know how it feels. I know how frustrating it can be to just not be able to MAKE YOURSELF DO WHAT YOU KNOW IS IN YOUR BEST INTEREST.)
Is there a way to manufacture urgency? I've noticed that the time when I was most willing to work hard and concentrate on creating a Fastlane business was when I told my parents I was dropping out of University. They told me I would be kicked out of the house. That created great pressure for me and I had pretty great focus for like a week. But then I decided I'd go back for a second year, and I found that I was back in the comfort-feeling of my own home. I'm trying to figure out a way to create that same urgency but without making such a reckless decision.
How do you think I should deal with the negative emotions associated with wanting so much but making so little progress?
How are you able to stay focused all day long and sustain the level of energy you need to both do your job and work on your business/life? Does it get difficult sometimes?
I wish I were like you... my goals so desirable that I can't stop working toward them. For some reason it seems to have the opposite effect on me. I find it hard to feel motivated and "alive" during the process. Perhaps it's a biological issue. Or maybe this will change once I get some momentum going my way, once I start to see results.
I have felt that feeling a "flow" a few times in my life, however. When something is so compelling that you just don't want to stop.
So - here are some practical thoughts that I think can help you get out of the negative feedback loop you're currently stuck in, and change it for a positive one.
- You will likely continue to experience failure and frustration until you man up and develop self-discipline. It is urgent that you do this now. Otherwise, you could end up twice your age, still leaning on other people to crack the whip over you to get you to produce. 40-year-old you WILL NOT FIND THIS FUN. I would recommend a dopamine fast to kick off the process. Hike the Appalachian Trail or something. Get yourself outdoors and away from devices and TV, at least for a few days. Detox your brain from the dopamine drip you've been feeding it. Dig up the soil and plant a garden. Whatever. Interact with the physical world, not the digital one, for a few days.
- Design a setup where you can START winning and KEEP winning. Find the smallest possible WIN that contributes to your goals. In your old execution thread, your "WIN" that you were working for was "Making a sale." No. Break it down further than that. What do you need to do prior that sale, in order to lead up to a sale? Who do you need to BE in order to get that sale? Maybe you say, "OK, my win will be waking up at 6:00 AM every day for a week." No. Break it down even further, because waking up like that is not going to be a slam dunk. So you say, OK, my win will be waking up ONCE at 6:00 AM. No. Break it down even before that. Because you'll be going to bed too late to get up at 6:00 AM. So you say, "OK, my win will be to go to bed by 9:00." But then, you're not going to be tired at 9:00, so you're going to be tempted to stay on your computer. So you back up to the REAL step. "OK, my win will be that every time I catch myself wasting time on a distraction, IN THAT SAME MOMENT, I'm going to STOP and do something productive." (Define what it is so it's concrete. Also define a reward, and deliver that reward to yourself consistently. Even if it's just a silly reward like one chocolate chip.). NOW you're on track. This is defining your wins in a direction that will serve you.
- Verbal thrashings will not make you more productive or more motivated. What you're trying to do is alternatively hype yourself up into action (works for a while and then fails) and then scold yourself for not acting up to your standards (works for a while and then fails). This is not the solution.
- There may be a biological component to what you're experiencing. The way you describe yourself sounds similar to ADHD. Read about the executive function in the brain. Your executive function is the part of you that says, "OK, I'm going to do this now." You maybe be struggling to get the executive function to turn on. If this is the case, there are two easy ways to self-medicate. Try experimenting with yourself with these two things to see if it helps. One is caffeine. Try drinking coffee shortly before doing a task you struggle with. See if this improves your ability to DO what you've DECIDED to do. The second one is vigorous exercise (whatever level of physical exertion that will leave you breathless and sweating). Try exercise immediately before you sit down to do something that requires focus.
- There may be a psychological component to what you're experiencing. I suspect depression. There is so much help to be found in therapy, and the outcome can be removing that mysterious inner "boredom" that causes you to reject idea after idea.
- There may also be an inner resistance to the idea of what "working" and "adulthood" means. I have had to deal with this. Everything on the inside of me would be screaming, "NO! I don't consent to this. I want to be GREAT! I want to do things that are COOL! I want to be amazing! I reject drudgery! I reject monotony. I'm not ok with the next few decades of my life being dedicated to toiling and slaving away." It can be very difficult to come to terms with this, square your shoulders, look work in the face, and say, "OK. This is my existence until I make it. Deal." Work is not fun or pretty or sexy. It's the RESULTS of work that we like. As children, we enjoyed the results of our PARENTS' work without having to put in the work. As adults, we don't get to skip ahead to the results. It's a rude awakening.
Dislike ads? Remove them and support the forum:
Subscribe to Fastlane Insiders.
Last edited: