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I've been meaning to post this for a while now, thinking it might help other people. I'm also curious to know if other people have experimented with anything similar to this and gotten similar results.
This thread finally prompted me to write this down.
I invented a method for myself that has been extremely successful at building momentum and wins in getting work done.
This was born out of necessity. Failure to act has been my biggest downfall all my life.
Part 1: The Problem
I have skills, knowledge, and intelligence, but then I don't put them to use. I let myself pursue mindless distractions instead of work. I procrastinate. I get off track. I go into la-la-land. I engage in behaviors that are detrimental to my own best interest. Even while I'm seeing myself do it (and hating it), I don't find anything inside myself that gets me to actually change.
In other words, left to myself, in my natural state, I'm a walking, dysfunctional disaster. It's hard to believe that I've made it this far. Just a few small tweaks in some of the situations I've lived through, and I would probably be a homeless addict instead of someone on an upward trajectory towards the fastlane.
Because my goals are big, beautiful, amazing things.
And there's every reason why I should be able to reach them if I just put in consistent effort.
But that's the problem.
Where do I get the leverage over myself to exert that effort?
Well, to start with, here's what I've tried that has NOT worked.
1. Kicking myself doesn't work. NO amount of beating myself up, threatening myself, or setting up punishments for myself has ever worked. I've experimented with hardcore punishments, like depriving myself of food for an entire day if I don't do the thing I've set myself to do. And I've ruthlessly carried it out, too. But apparently, even hunger isn't big enough to scare me. I have never been able to terrorize myself, abuse myself, or shame myself into doing what I know I need to do.
2. Logic doesn't work. The threat of being homeless and starving if I don't get myself into gear is a logical thing, but it carries no leverage with it. Focusing on logic will increase my frustration with myself, but it won't make me behave any differently.
3. Pep talks and hype don't work. NO amount of emotional speeches, motivational content, or working myself up into a frenzy of positive optimism has ever worked. I get myself into this amazing, exhilarated frame of mind...and I expect that finally, THIS time, I'll finally rise up and DO the thing - and then something inside me always gets the better of me and I'm just like, "Nah. Why bother? I'm going to go on surfing the web for just a little longer."
4. Routine and structure only work to an extent. When I have managed to get myself into a very predictable routine, with lots of structure and accountability, I have tended to perform better. But the trouble is, that structure and routine has only ever come from an outside source. When it's up to ME to create that structure and routine for myself, I'm beating my head against a wall of futility. I'm like a tree trying to pull itself up by the roots. Because the nature of the problem is precisely that I'm lacking in the very self-discipline and self-governance that is prerequisite to creating that structure and regimen. And outside sources of structure and accountability can only go so far, because at the end of the day, YOU have to exercise your own internal locus of control. And where is that going to come from? Inside yourself. But where do you get that if it's missing? For me, this has been a perpetual cycle of defeat.
5. Examining my belief system hasn't worked. This issue, admittedly, has a lot to do with mindset and beliefs, but even when I have gotten my mindset and beliefs to be as healthy as I could possibly get them, it still didn't make a difference in my ACTION TAKING. Beliefs lead to action, so if your beliefs are false and your mindset is unhelpful, then they definitely need a makeover. But I had the advantage of being raised with principles that took me a long way: Take responsibility for your actions. Don't say, "I can't." I am responsible for my own choices. I don't let other people's actions dictate my response. But still, I find myself in this maddening bondage to dilly-dallying, self-sabotage, and procrastination.
6. Caffeine has only worked to a certain extent. I have experimented with a few things that boost the brain's executive function, the part of me that decides, "I'm going to do this now," and then actually carry it out. The main thing that has worked for me has been caffeine. When I'm on caffeine, I can actually decide to do something, and then DO it. But that effect is temporary, because as soon as I've had coffee for a few days and my body becomes addicted to it, it stops working.
OK, what gives? What else is left to try?
Does anybody relate to this?
Giving up is not an option. There has got to be a way to figure this out. So I keep trying.
This year, I embarked on a new experiment. And this one thing has been the most effective method I have ever used on myself to actually get somewhere with myself.
It all started with an offhand comment my sister made about dog training, which I then implemented into a method of training myself.
And my results have been amazing.
I'm going to explain it in the next post.
This thread finally prompted me to write this down.
I invented a method for myself that has been extremely successful at building momentum and wins in getting work done.
This was born out of necessity. Failure to act has been my biggest downfall all my life.
Part 1: The Problem
I have skills, knowledge, and intelligence, but then I don't put them to use. I let myself pursue mindless distractions instead of work. I procrastinate. I get off track. I go into la-la-land. I engage in behaviors that are detrimental to my own best interest. Even while I'm seeing myself do it (and hating it), I don't find anything inside myself that gets me to actually change.
In other words, left to myself, in my natural state, I'm a walking, dysfunctional disaster. It's hard to believe that I've made it this far. Just a few small tweaks in some of the situations I've lived through, and I would probably be a homeless addict instead of someone on an upward trajectory towards the fastlane.
- I know I need to hustle, but I don't.
- I know I need to get moving, but I put if off, "just a little longer."
- I know I need to engage and take action, but I let fear and inaction paralyze me.
Because my goals are big, beautiful, amazing things.
And there's every reason why I should be able to reach them if I just put in consistent effort.
But that's the problem.
Where do I get the leverage over myself to exert that effort?
Well, to start with, here's what I've tried that has NOT worked.
1. Kicking myself doesn't work. NO amount of beating myself up, threatening myself, or setting up punishments for myself has ever worked. I've experimented with hardcore punishments, like depriving myself of food for an entire day if I don't do the thing I've set myself to do. And I've ruthlessly carried it out, too. But apparently, even hunger isn't big enough to scare me. I have never been able to terrorize myself, abuse myself, or shame myself into doing what I know I need to do.
2. Logic doesn't work. The threat of being homeless and starving if I don't get myself into gear is a logical thing, but it carries no leverage with it. Focusing on logic will increase my frustration with myself, but it won't make me behave any differently.
3. Pep talks and hype don't work. NO amount of emotional speeches, motivational content, or working myself up into a frenzy of positive optimism has ever worked. I get myself into this amazing, exhilarated frame of mind...and I expect that finally, THIS time, I'll finally rise up and DO the thing - and then something inside me always gets the better of me and I'm just like, "Nah. Why bother? I'm going to go on surfing the web for just a little longer."
4. Routine and structure only work to an extent. When I have managed to get myself into a very predictable routine, with lots of structure and accountability, I have tended to perform better. But the trouble is, that structure and routine has only ever come from an outside source. When it's up to ME to create that structure and routine for myself, I'm beating my head against a wall of futility. I'm like a tree trying to pull itself up by the roots. Because the nature of the problem is precisely that I'm lacking in the very self-discipline and self-governance that is prerequisite to creating that structure and regimen. And outside sources of structure and accountability can only go so far, because at the end of the day, YOU have to exercise your own internal locus of control. And where is that going to come from? Inside yourself. But where do you get that if it's missing? For me, this has been a perpetual cycle of defeat.
5. Examining my belief system hasn't worked. This issue, admittedly, has a lot to do with mindset and beliefs, but even when I have gotten my mindset and beliefs to be as healthy as I could possibly get them, it still didn't make a difference in my ACTION TAKING. Beliefs lead to action, so if your beliefs are false and your mindset is unhelpful, then they definitely need a makeover. But I had the advantage of being raised with principles that took me a long way: Take responsibility for your actions. Don't say, "I can't." I am responsible for my own choices. I don't let other people's actions dictate my response. But still, I find myself in this maddening bondage to dilly-dallying, self-sabotage, and procrastination.
6. Caffeine has only worked to a certain extent. I have experimented with a few things that boost the brain's executive function, the part of me that decides, "I'm going to do this now," and then actually carry it out. The main thing that has worked for me has been caffeine. When I'm on caffeine, I can actually decide to do something, and then DO it. But that effect is temporary, because as soon as I've had coffee for a few days and my body becomes addicted to it, it stops working.
OK, what gives? What else is left to try?
Does anybody relate to this?
Giving up is not an option. There has got to be a way to figure this out. So I keep trying.
This year, I embarked on a new experiment. And this one thing has been the most effective method I have ever used on myself to actually get somewhere with myself.
It all started with an offhand comment my sister made about dog training, which I then implemented into a method of training myself.
And my results have been amazing.
I'm going to explain it in the next post.
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