Slowlane Relationships

[mtnman]

In the past six months or so, I've really noticed my friendships with people in my life changing. Alot. As my mentality has changed, so have my views on others. Not people specifically, but trying to converse with someone who doesn't see the light drives me nuts. It's like I'm on a different wavelength or something. The vibe isn't the same anymore. Does this make any sense? lol

It's impossible to go back wards. As in, there's no way in hell I would ever go back to intentionally thinking slowlane. It takes effort to make sure I'm not stuck in that rut as it is. Trying to seek common ground in this area with friends is like beating a dead horse. :smash:

Previous views and commonalities are tossed out the window. People don't want to change. Therefore things will stay the same. I don't to stay the same!

I'm wondering how much of this contributes to my environment as a whole. I'm starting to think the things and people surrounding me could be holding me back. Every day it seems like I see more and more negativity out people I never thought were negative.

So, I'm sure many of you have dealt with this before. How do you handle your friendships as you grow personally?

Abandoning your friends doesn't sit well.
Spending time with the same people that aren't conducive to my aspirations doesn't either! :smx8: It seems like, damned if you do, damned if you dont.

For the seasoned fastlaner's, what do you say today to those who said you couldn't do it in the past? What's their impression of you now?

So does anyone have any advice in this area? Possibly a book that covers it? Thanks in advance!

 

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[CarrieW]

I have found the only way to keep myself sane is to just not discuss anything financial with anyone at all lol.

seriously tho, all it will get you is a headache.

You were friends before your mentality changed so you have to have something in common to discuss besides fastlane ideas.

I know its hard to be all excited and engrossed into building a plan and you want to tell everyone but honestly it isnt worth it with some people. You can talk till your blue in the face and your never going to change someones mentality by talking.

So find whatever common ground you have and use that. just keep your plans and dreams for yourself or here. when you are successful some may ask how you did it, then share. untill they ask assume they dont want to know.

this is the only thing thats worked for me.

 

[Poudda]

We're having minor issues with the in-laws when we get into these discussions. Father-in-law is a retired business man (retired at age 45), so my spouse really values his opinion. I do too, but there are some things we can't talk about.

For example, we got into it last weekend talking about moving to the East Coast, and they don't seem to get that if we do this, we will have $0.00 debt and only one of us would have to work. The stay at home person (either myself or my spouse) will have extra time to work full time on our fast lane plan and raise the kids.

They think that we should stay here in our happy comfy house, keep our debt, sell off our rental properties, apply proceeds to our loan and both work jobs until we are 65, invest in our RRSP's (401Ks) and can afford to retire.

In a nutshell, some people I can talk about plans, goals and money, and others, I just plain don't. Doesn't make them any less friends as I rely on many for support for non-financal needs.

 

[GoldenEggs]

So find whatever common ground you have and use that. just keep your plans and dreams for yourself or here. when you are successful some may ask how you did it, then share. untill they ask assume they dont want to know.

:iagree: My business and investing isn't my whole life, eventhough it does consume a big part of it! If the subject of work comes up, I just let them vent. If I get asked how things are going with my business, I give a generic things are fine or we have some challenges but we're working through it and change the topic.

 

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[CarrieW]

do what I say not what I do maybe?

parents are strange when it comes to their children, especially grown ones.

 

[PEERless]

until they ask, assume they dont want to know.

Agreed. When I first incorporated, I tied a pretty advertising bow on my bragging and told all my slowlane friends how smart I was; but I was just being a d*ck. It's better to be than to be seen to be, as the old proverb goes.

So now. I stay quiet and stay active. Then, when I hit the cover of Forbes, my slowlane friends will never have seen it coming.

 

[S928]

I'm glad to report that sometimes slowlane relationships do improve and some people even come around. In fact, last night while I was talking to my slowlane dad on the phone, I mentioned to him that one day I'm going to be a multi-millionaire via real estate. Holly smoke, for the first time ever he didn't ridicule me. Instead, he had a tone of approval and he positively laughed at my comment. Needless to say, I was taken back and shocked. I was even speechless for a second.

 

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[rzach41]

I too, have encountered stiff resistance from many young jedi's who fail to see the advantages of leaving the dark side.

I always keep the conversation geared towards the other person. After reading How to Win Friends and Influence People, I learned that people really do not care about what you have to say. They care about themselves!


S928, thats awesome!

 

[PEERless]

How to Win Friends and Influence People

This is on my reading list.

 

[SteveO]

I have plenty of slowlane friends. What we have in common is our activities, be it running groups, bowling, golf, car club.... That does not change how I enjoy my activities. I am happy to talk about money with others but it is a personal topic to people.

Enjoy them for who they are.

 

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[australianinvestor]

I've got a completely new set of friends than I had 10 years ago. I still see the old ones on occasion, but it's rare and we don't talk about business or money. That's just my "job" and like good slowlaners, we don't "waste" personal time talking about work. Instead, we remember old times and have a few laughs. I wonder when the next time will be, and how much more pronounced the differences will be.

I think "divesting" old friends can be useful. It allows us time for new people, and we can grow. We just need to make sure we change the right old friends for the right new friends.

Daniel.