I am noticing more and more that the family institution is getting fractured...and will probably be
the death of us all when SHTF.
What do I mean by that?
Back then, folks simply put up with their grumpy, toxic parents or relatives or whoever-- even until they got married and had families and kids on their own.
These days, we just say 'move out'... 'leave' ... 'blood is NOT thicker than water' ... 'mental health first'.
Even my own dad (he's already close to his sixties) isn't going back for Lunar New Year reunion especially after grandpa passed away-- there was a lot of drama behind the scenes.
Or we just pack off the elderly to the care homes.
And just let them rot there...
I know because I've had one aunt with dementia taken to one. There was no choice though because out of her three kids-- only the eldest was keen on taking care of her. And the two other siblings just didn't want to have anything to do with it. I can't fathom the burdens of juggling work...his own family...the aunt's medical checks...all the way till she passed away peacefully. But a care home has this feeling of decay and mediocrity...no matter how well-run it may be.
Even in this Forum, how many of us complain that our parents HATE our Fastlane plans?
How many of us just moved out because of such fights?
We have one thread here that talked on how the family really makes it SO difficult for him to cook decent meals in the kitchen. For me, eating well is crucial to a Fastlane identity-- because you can choose to eat more healthily.
I write all this because I notice my own siblings and many other friends of my age quietly, silently 'quitting' the family.
In the next 5-10 years, I won't expect them to return home for family reunions.
And when these folks have their own families? What KIND of MESSAGE will they give their kids?
As much as I dislike toxic family members, I try to understand that perhaps they didn't grow up with a lot of love and patience-- and might be better to show them some grace now. And it feels that I might have to run family things a lot sooner than I'd think...
I have no idea how this can be solved.
I don't think another barrage of videos from Jordan Peterson-life figures is gonna make the cut. My generation (at least most of them) seem to have decided that its better to live life on their own terms-- even if it means abandoning family values in the name of 'mental sanity' or whatever frankenphrase they use these days.
I can understand where you're coming from but I'm all for cutting out people in your life that make it net worse than positive. Sure, I'll attempt at first to improve the relationship. But I can only do that for so long before it's not worth it. Sometimes people and relationships don't change / improve and if there's bad blood then there's bad blood. Net positives in my life by cutting people out.
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