[PROGRESS] Bekit's Progress Thread

[NMdad]

First, huge congrats on taking the actions that led to you getting paid. Huge accomplishment!

I have a bunch of stuff for you:

Don't worry about getting "whale" clients, yet. Focus on bread-n-butter clients so you'll have a portfolio of MRR. That way, if you lose 1 client, it's not catastrophic. And you'll have built a system for getting more clients.

Here's what I'd suggest if you're struggling to get copywriting clients:

1. Target 5 very businesses in a very specific niche--ideally where you have niche-specific expertise & knowledge, where the businesses are making $5MM-20MM/year, and where you can find the CEO's email (LinkedIn can be a good resource).
2. Look at 1 piece of their marketing--a landing page, the 1st email in their sequence, etc.--and re-write it.
3. Send it to them, with a short blurb about how it'll help them, how you've helped other businesses just like them & the specific results you achieved.
4. Call immediately after you send your email--just to make sure they received your email. And then ask them their biggest frustrations & desires/goals for their marketing.
5. Figure out how you can help with those problems.
6. If you don't reach them, call in 1-2 days, then 1 week later.
7. Repeat until you either start getting clients or determine that your targeting needs to be adjusted.
8. Track your actions in a simple spreadsheet so you can see who you need to follow up on, & your results.

Don't do free work--it cheapens your value. (Yes, I just said re-write something of theirs & email it to them--for free...). Any work beyond that first email you write them should be paid--you don't want to waste time on budget-driven, non-paying, discount-driven, PITA clients.

Charging a premium rate filters out most of these "clients". Seriously, charge more than you're comfortable with (as long as you're confident you can do quality work). Like, if you think a fair rate is $75/hour, tell prospects your rate is $150/hour. You might feel like a fraud initially, but bargain-hunting prospects will disappear, and you'll up your game to deliver better results.

Spend a consistent amount of time on this, daily. If you can only do 1 hour/day, fine. Don't kill yourself trying to do it 18 hours/day.

 

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[NMdad]

To manage juggling your day job, delivering freelance client work, and getting more client work:

• Mentally compartmentalize your day job. You go there, do the work, and when you leave, you're done with it for the day. (Also, if possible, you can strategize about your freelance stuff while you're at your day job).
• Create systems & habits for the freelance stuff:
  • Client deliverables: A simple task management system or to-do list for what needs to get done, by when, and for whom.
  • Client prospecting: A simple spreadsheet for tracking your prospects, outreach activities, etc. Write out email & phone scripts for yourself--these make your outreach WAY faster & less emotion-laden.

Systems are your friend. You create checklists, scripts, etc. so you don't have to think so much--and so you can eventually delegate stuff to others. Systems make things easier, less time-consuming, and give you more predictable results.

 

[Andy Black]

First, huge congrats on taking the actions that led to you getting paid. Huge accomplishment!

I have a bunch of stuff for you:

Don't worry about getting "whale" clients, yet. Focus on bread-n-butter clients so you'll have a portfolio of MRR. That way, if you lose 1 client, it's not catastrophic. And you'll have built a system for getting more clients.

Here's what I'd suggest if you're struggling to get copywriting clients:

1. Target 5 very businesses in a very specific niche--ideally where you have niche-specific expertise & knowledge, where the businesses are making $5MM-20MM/year, and where you can find the CEO's email (LinkedIn can be a good resource).
2. Look at 1 piece of their marketing--a landing page, the 1st email in their sequence, etc.--and re-write it.
3. Send it to them, with a short blurb about how it'll help them, how you've helped other businesses just like them & the specific results you achieved.
4. Call immediately after you send your email--just to make sure they received your email. And then ask them their biggest frustrations & desires/goals for their marketing.
5. Figure out how you can help with those problems.
6. If you don't reach them, call in 1-2 days, then 1 week later.
7. Repeat until you either start getting clients or determine that your targeting needs to be adjusted.
8. Track your actions in a simple spreadsheet so you can see who you need to follow up on, & your results.

Don't do free work--it cheapens your value. (Yes, I just said re-write something of theirs & email it to them--for free...). Any work beyond that first email you write them should be paid--you don't want to waste time on budget-driven, non-paying, discount-driven, PITA clients.

Charging a premium rate filters out most of these "clients". Seriously, charge more than you're comfortable with (as long as you're confident you can do quality work). Like, if you think a fair rate is $75/hour, tell prospects your rate is $150/hour. You might feel like a fraud initially, but bargain-hunting prospects will disappear, and you'll up your game to deliver better results.

Spend a consistent amount of time on this, daily. If you can only do 1 hour/day, fine. Don't kill yourself trying to do it 18 hours/day.

This is good.

Additional tip if you’re using Gmail: Install Chrome plugin Streak for Gmail so you can see if someone opens your email. (Make sure you only send to one person or you won’t know who opened the email.)

 

[WellWallet]

Heya @Beckit - Dropping by to leave a quick thank you for all the candor, honesty, and wit you've shared so far! When you can, let us know how you're doing!!!

xWW

 

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[Bekit]

Thank you to everyone who posted SOOOO many good comments, suggestions, and pieces of advice.

Progress update:
Over the last year, my day job gradually became a source of extreme stress & burnout, to the point where it started affecting both my mental and physical health. It wasn't just me. At least a dozen people at my 30-person workplace also developed anxiety issues out of the blue. I never knew that I had the potential to be this fragile. I thought anxiety issues were only something that happened to "other people." But it got bad enough that it started interfering with my work. I had to scale back and focus on self-care and press pause temporarily on attempting to growing my business.

At the beginning of June, I gave my notice and came down sick the same day. It was like my body said, "OK, we're finally done with that. I'm going to break down now." After almost a month, I am slowly starting to feel better.

Two weeks ago, I started a new position as the marketing manager of a real estate company. This is a nice change of pace and I am hoping that this can be a job where I can "compartmentalize" my work a bit better and not let it bleed into every single waking minute of my life.

It feels like I am slowly coming back to life. The "old me" with all its drive and passion and ambition is slowly budding back out from under the charred remains of burnout.

My brain is gradually coming back into "Challenged Accepted!" mode after a long stretch of just viewing everything as daunting, overwhelming, and exhausting. I'm starting to be able to view things from an abundance mentality again, rather than just being in survival mode.

I have made more progress in the last two days on building one of my businesses than I made in the last two years. So YAY FOR THAT!

What's on my plate:
Full time job: Right now, I have a lot of flexibility and autonomy with this. I am taking it slow as I adjust to the new role and giving myself space to continue to recover. I have found that as I recover a healthy outlook, I find myself able to dive into projects with the kind of focus and "flow" that I used to enjoy before this burnout started. Rather than dragging myself kicking and screaming to work, only to find it futile to squeeze work out of my brain, I am enjoying the process and doing better work as a result.

Freelance Copywriting: As soon as the word got out that I had given my notice, I had a FLOOD of requests to do copywriting. People were like "HEYYYYY, now that you're free, can you work for me?" I was a bit shocked by this, as I had assumed that it would take a LOT longer to build up a clientele that would be able to support me. But copywriting was where I was the most fried from the burnout (because I was a full-time copywriter in the position I just left). So I told everyone that I was going to take a 2-month break from copywriting to take care of myself and adjust to the new job and then evaluate from there what I would do, based on my bandwidth. Everyone was very understanding. But this showed me that WOW - maybe I could have quit the job a long time ago, and I just didn't see it.

Publishing: My husband is a researcher who has compiled the complete works of a 19th-century British author. Her works were super popular in her day (she was one of the few woman authors who had more than 1 million books in print before 1900, second only to Harriet Beecher Stowe according to my husband's research), but it's the first time that her complete works have ever been compiled. We have about 40 books almost ready to launch that we believe will appeal to a very well-defined niche in the market that we both have a lot of expertise in. So this is going to be a fun project and great learning experience.

I was going to try to use copywriting as a means of gaining the funds to bootstrap the publishing stuff. But right now, while I'm taking a break from copywriting, my time has opened up to work on the publishing work directly, and I have found this to be extremely energizing and rewarding. There's a lot that I can do right now with minimal or no money investment, so I have been plugging away on that. This project languished on the shelf for the last two years, so it feels good to see it moving forward. I have a few ideas for how I will (A) skew value and (B) maximize control in the areas where most people would give that control away to Amazon. So I feel like I'm building a lot of momentum, and that is really rewarding.

@Bekit next steps? due dates for each?
who can you call / contact to get a sale today? contact them!

Zane, when I first saw this, I was in overwhelm mode. However, I have made a list of about a dozen potential clients that I will contact when I'm ready to do copywriting again, and this feels very doable and logical. I feel pretty sure that I could get a sale (if not multiple sales) in a day or two if I put the word out, and that's a very empowering feeling.

Came across this article today and her background story is quite similar to yours:

How Dani Mancini Transformed Her Freelance Gigs Into A SaaS Business - Starter Story

Sweet article! This expanded my thinking in a whole new way. LOVE IT! Thanks for sharing.

Looks like people tagged me and I didn't see it. Also looks like it didn't matter that much because you got started, took action, and made your first sale! Rep+ Great work!

Thanks, Lex! Appreciate the encouragement.

First, huge congrats on taking the actions that led to you getting paid. Huge accomplishment!

I have a bunch of stuff for you:

Don't worry about getting "whale" clients, yet. Focus on bread-n-butter clients so you'll have a portfolio of MRR. That way, if you lose 1 client, it's not catastrophic. And you'll have built a system for getting more clients.

Here's what I'd suggest if you're struggling to get copywriting clients:

1. Target 5 very businesses in a very specific niche--ideally where you have niche-specific expertise & knowledge, where the businesses are making $5MM-20MM/year, and where you can find the CEO's email (LinkedIn can be a good resource).
2. Look at 1 piece of their marketing--a landing page, the 1st email in their sequence, etc.--and re-write it.
3. Send it to them, with a short blurb about how it'll help them, how you've helped other businesses just like them & the specific results you achieved.
4. Call immediately after you send your email--just to make sure they received your email. And then ask them their biggest frustrations & desires/goals for their marketing.
5. Figure out how you can help with those problems.
6. If you don't reach them, call in 1-2 days, then 1 week later.
7. Repeat until you either start getting clients or determine that your targeting needs to be adjusted.
8. Track your actions in a simple spreadsheet so you can see who you need to follow up on, & your results.

Don't do free work--it cheapens your value. (Yes, I just said re-write something of theirs & email it to them--for free...). Any work beyond that first email you write them should be paid--you don't want to waste time on budget-driven, non-paying, discount-driven, PITA clients.

Charging a premium rate filters out most of these "clients". Seriously, charge more than you're comfortable with (as long as you're confident you can do quality work). Like, if you think a fair rate is $75/hour, tell prospects your rate is $150/hour. You might feel like a fraud initially, but bargain-hunting prospects will disappear, and you'll up your game to deliver better results.

Spend a consistent amount of time on this, daily. If you can only do 1 hour/day, fine. Don't kill yourself trying to do it 18 hours/day.

To manage juggling your day job, delivering freelance client work, and getting more client work:

• Mentally compartmentalize your day job. You go there, do the work, and when you leave, you're done with it for the day. (Also, if possible, you can strategize about your freelance stuff while you're at your day job).
• Create systems & habits for the freelance stuff:
  • Client deliverables: A simple task management system or to-do list for what needs to get done, by when, and for whom.
  • Client prospecting: A simple spreadsheet for tracking your prospects, outreach activities, etc. Write out email & phone scripts for yourself--these make your outreach WAY faster & less emotion-laden.

Systems are your friend. You create checklists, scripts, etc. so you don't have to think so much--and so you can eventually delegate stuff to others. Systems make things easier, less time-consuming, and give you more predictable results.

There is so much gold here, I would rep this to PIECES if the rep transfer was available on the forum. THANK YOU for all that you shared. Wow.

At the time you sent this through, I barely absorbed it because I was in survival mode and it all felt too daunting. Basically, I thought it would work, but I thought if I did all that stuff, then I would be on the hook for more work than I could do.

The way it looks now, though, all I would do is structure my time in such a way that when I fill my calendar with client work, I'm compensated well enough for my time that I'm NOT overloaded or cutting into sleep time.

I was operating with zero margins. Now I am focusing on building in margin. Just need to charge enough to live on while keeping the margin intact! And that mindset shift is helping a ton.

What you shared here is a step-by-step plan that I think anyone could follow to become independent and successful in their niche. Thank you for this insanely valuable advice.

This is good.

Additional tip if you’re using Gmail: Install Chrome plugin Streak for Gmail so you can see if someone opens your email. (Make sure you only send to one person or you won’t know who opened the email.)

Great tip! The sales team at my last company was using Streak, so I should definitely incorporate that myself. Why wouldn't I!? Nothing to lose there!

Heya @Beckit - Dropping by to leave a quick thank you for all the candor, honesty, and wit you've shared so far! When you can, let us know how you're doing!!!

xWW

Thanks for the kind words and for the bump to the thread! I've been thinking it was time for an update.

 

[ZF Lee]

How the F*ck did I miss this thread???

Should spend more time reading execution threads here on TFLF...
Keep it up, @Bekit

Over the last year, my day job gradually became a source of extreme stress & burnout, to the point where it started affecting both my mental and physical health. It wasn't just me. At least a dozen people at my 30-person workplace also developed anxiety issues out of the blue. I never knew that I had the potential to be this fragile. I thought anxiety issues were only something that happened to "other people." But it got bad enough that it started interfering with my work. I had to scale back and focus on self-care and press pause temporarily on attempting to growing my business.

At the beginning of June, I gave my notice and came down sick the same day. It was like my body said, "OK, we're finally done with that. I'm going to break down now." After almost a month, I am slowly starting to feel better.

Two weeks ago, I started a new position as the marketing manager of a real estate company. This is a nice change of pace and I am hoping that this can be a job where I can "compartmentalize" my work a bit better and not let it bleed into every single waking minute of my life.

It feels like I am slowly coming back to life. The "old me" with all its drive and passion and ambition is slowly budding back out from under the charred remains of burnout.

My brain is gradually coming back into "Challenged Accepted!" mode after a long stretch of just viewing everything as daunting, overwhelming, and exhausting. I'm starting to be able to view things from an abundance mentality again, rather than just being in survival mode.

Congrats on making the move.

I've been feeling the same horrible draining feeling the last few days after my semester.
My finance and econometrics classes were 'killing' folks.

Not sure what the degree of stress and anxiety my peers in college felt, but when lecturers are pointing out dropping rates in attendance, project performances and class responsiveness, warning signs are already there.

I'll be working on making an escape like you did, but it would take a while to push off the college authorities and my parents, of course.

There is so much gold here, I would rep this to PIECES if the rep transfer was available on the forum. THANK YOU for all that you shared. Wow.

At the time you sent this through, I barely absorbed it because I was in survival mode and it all felt too daunting. Basically, I thought it would work, but I thought if I did all that stuff, then I would be on the hook for more work than I could do.

The way it looks now, though, all I would do is structure my time in such a way that when I fill my calendar with client work, I'm compensated well enough for my time that I'm NOT overloaded or cutting into sleep time.

I was operating with zero margins. Now I am focusing on building in margin. Just need to charge enough to live on while keeping the margin intact! And that mindset shift is helping a ton.

What you shared here is a step-by-step plan that I think anyone could follow to become independent and successful in their niche. Thank you for this insanely valuable advice.

The to-do list was really fundamental to my progress on Upwork as well.

In my last few gigs, I use lists to break down any gig I'm not sure how to solve. That way, I keep a feedback loop going, when it comes to learning new stuff quickly to finish the freelance gig efficientlym with lesser risk of procrastinating or haphazard work.

It may look like this:

1. What's the aim of this project for the client? How does it help him?

2. What do I know about how to do the project? What do I NOT know?

3. What can I do to learn on the stuff I NOT know to do? Is there a book, a video, an interview online that may teach me? How long to find the sources, and then use them to learn? 1-2 hours? Can I do on the go, read or watch a section, then continue work?

4. How many revisions might I need to make for the client? How long is the time stretch? 1 month for the entire process? 2 weeks?

What might he like and not like, based on past experiences with him?

 

[Pauly-FL]

Bekit - glad you got out of that bad situation. Your health (physical and mental) are far more important.

There is an unspoken expectation in most companies today that you are to be tapped 24x7. Being nice people, we at first comply to help out, but then it becomes expected, while still only paying out for 40hrs. Then when you don't give up weekend time or vacation time to them, the guilt train starts.

I am glad you recognized this early and got away from it.

- a personal side note: thank you for this thread

 

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[Andy Black]

How's it going @Bekit?

 

[BellaPippin]

Aww I had never seen your progress thread! So much action taken!

YOU ARE A WARRIOR! I wanna be you when I grow up

 

[sparechange]

How's it going @Bekit?

seconded...

 

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[Fox]

Update update!

One of my favourite speakers at the summit!

Reading this now and loving catching up on your journey @Bekit .

 

[BlackMagician]

@Bekit
Your Comrade-in-arm is here to cheer you up! and see your progress!

 

[Bekit]

OK my progress update has been LONG overdue.

This will be really good for me to just write out, even if only to keep a written record for myself. Hopefully it'll be useful in some way to others as well.

Since this is long, if you want to skim it, you'll get the gist of everything by reading just the bold headings.


Work and personal progress (or lack thereof?) while struggling with mental health

So I left off June 27, 2019, when I posted my last update.

I had just started a job as a marketing manager for a real estate company.

That ended up being good in a number of ways. I got to manage Google Ads campaigns for the first time. I got to set up my first business instagram account and work on how to grow it. I got to define how they did their SEO and email marketing. So there was definitely some professional growth happening.

At the same time, I was barely keeping my head above water in terms of my mental and emotional health. The burnout that happened in my previous job continued to affect me in many ways in my personal life, producing ongoing anxiety and depression. I started counseling weekly with a therapist around that time, which helped. I felt like I was hunkered down, barely keeping up with "normal life." On the weekends, I would pretty much collapse. I felt like everything I was doing was basically meaningless. Eat, to live, to work, to afford food, to eat, and there we go again. I was also deeply unhappy in my marriage. So I was really relieved that my job was in the local area where I could drive into the office every day. It was an hour away, and I really relished that hour-long drive each way. I didn't realize that a person could love a commute that much. The chance to be silent - to talk on the phone - to listen to audiobooks - felt like the highlight of each day. After working from home for the previous year, it was a welcome change to be in a workplace with people again.

Time went along, and my husband and I started marriage counseling in the fall. We established a budget. Both of those things were huge at helping to restore our relationship.

Around that time, the company I was working for started running into financial difficulty. The trouble was, they only ever sold one property in the whole year I was there. It was actually kind of painful to see how bad at sales their real estate brokers were. They had listings, but the listings were overpriced because the agents were afraid they would lose the listing if they told the sellers to list it at the price that the market would actually support. And then even when potential buyers would appear, we couldn't seem to get basic information over to the potential buyers when they requested it. So they would move on. It got so bad that one of the owners had to put his own home on the market in order to keep paying the bills. I remember saying to my husband, "If this company was my client and not my employer, I would have fired this client already."

It was a really good lesson on "what not to do when running a business," without having to be in the shoes of the business owners whose business is failing.

You have to be able to sell.

That's just fundamental.

Selling is where your income comes from.

Our main competitor in that real estate niche was a super unethical brokerage. But they were GOOD at sales. So they were crushing it--even though they were burning bridges left and right (and borderline running afoul of the law all the time). We were trying to set ourselves apart by being a really ethical, upstanding business. But if you can't sell, you're going to go out of business, no matter how principled and moral you are.

Without money, we had no advertising budget. One of the owners was paying my salary out of his own pocket. Keeping me onboard started to be more of a formality, to look like a functioning business on the outside, than actually a benefit to the business. The owner was also a CPA, so he switched his focus back to serving accounting clients to bring in cash flow. I became a nondescript-office-task-doer.

In addition to all this, the personality of my boss reminded me a lot of my dad. My dad has anger problems. When I was a little girl, my dad would yell at me, and I would cry. I remember crying to the point where I would stop getting enough oxygen and feel dizzy. In interactions with my boss, I felt exactly like I used to feel as a little girl, crying while my dad yelled at me. It felt like everything I did at work was wrong. I was hired for my copywriting and marketing skill, but none of my recommendations were ever listened to. I would turn in work that was good, and then I would be required to revise that work until it was lame, ineffective, and weak. Or I would be asked to do something, and then it would be simply discarded. Or it would be given to someone else to do who had no marketing knowledge and no ability to sell, and their version would be the one that went live. I was constantly confused by this. Inside, I was like, "You hired me because I have a skill. But when it comes time to actually use that skill, you don't want anything to do with my work. Why would you do that?"

It got to the point where I became afraid to do anything until I was told explicitly what to do. I wasn't comfortable taking any initiative. I could no longer think for myself or bring ideas to the table. So I would wait until I was told to do something, and then I would do exactly what I was told.

In other words, I was no longer bringing my best self to work.

Not even close.

My sense of professional ability was eroding week by week, between December 2019 and May 2020.

It became harder and harder to face my work. It took all my willpower to gear myself up to face another day.

Given that I was already struggling with anxiety and depression, this was not a good recipe for my mental well being.

A Beautiful Bright Spot - Speaking at the Summit

During this whole season, the Fastlane Forum was one true bright spot for me. I felt like here, at least, was one place where I could keep the dream alive, interact with smart people, be validated that I did have something to offer, and have a reason not to sink slowly into apathy and slavery to the script.

And somehow, in the midst of all the above struggles, I found the courage to suggest myself to MJ as a speaker at the summit.

Actually, I know what it was.

I really, really wanted to go to the Summit.

And I figured that if I could go as a speaker, it would be $100 cheaper for my ticket.

So the thought of saving that money helped to propel me to offer to speak.

And to my astonishment, MJ accepted. I still remember the feeling of happiness and excitement and awe and astonishment that washed over me when I got his email that I had been accepted. It was a surge of hope and exhilaration and anticipation that I had rarely felt in the last...I don't know how long.

(I actually quite like public speaking. Some people have a fear of this. I somehow don't. I have a MUCH greater fear of interacting with people in social situations.)

It's hard to describe what a huge gift it was to me to attend and speak at the Summit.

It was something to look forward to.

It was something that symbolized that YES, I was going to reach higher, and NO, I was not going to settle for this weak, pitiful, depressed existence where I was merely surviving through life.

It was something that brought me hope.

It was a HUGE milestone for me, as I had never spoken on stage about copywriting to an audience before.

And actually being there in February, and meeting so many awesome and amazing people, and stepping out of my everyday life for just a few days, was one of the highlights of my year.

(Side note: I am SO SO SO SO glad and relieved that we got to do that before things got shut down with Covid.)

Post-Summit panic: I choke

After the Summit, about 8 people contacted me to request copywriting services.

And - I choked.

It was a response of irrational fear.

I can't really explain it.

And I really hate that I did this.

But I just - went silent.

Didn't email anybody back.

Didn't even give them the courtesy of a reply.

Somehow, I don't know why, but an email would show up in my inbox, and I couldn't bring myself to even open it.

When I finally did open it, it was mildly terrifying to actually read it.

And when I finally did read it, it was so mortally difficult to respond to it that I just...didn't.

My better judgment (dimly protesting from the recesses of my mind) was like, "Wait, what? Look at this. You're getting clients. This is what you wanted. Why won't you follow up? And anyway, people don't deserve to be treated like this. It's not a good look. Businesses are supposed to follow up within 24 hours. You shouldn't leave people hanging like this."

But my fear overrode any reason.

Some people actually contacted me two or three times.

What else could I possibly want? People were begging me to work with them, and I couldn't even answer.

I planted seeds, and they sprouted, and then I left them to wither and die.

What was going on? What was wrong with me?

I was stuck in this mindset of, "I don't know when I can do any projects for anyone. I'm stretched too thin already. I don't know how I can possibly commit to any work. I can't figure out my calendar."

My biggest fear was that I would get myself on the hook for some work - and then never actually DO it.

I couldn't see how I would bring myself to actually do the work.

And then that would be messy, because I would have to refund the client, and I would have wasted their time and mine, and then I would really feel like a failure.

Plus, I was in the middle of being treated at my job like I had nothing of value to offer. So my self-confidence was greatly eroded that I could provide anything of value to anyone.

I think underneath it all, I was fundamentally depressed and didn't have a clear "why." All work felt like a meaningless, tedious chore that I would have to force myself to do. So the idea of expending energy to force myself to do more work was just insurmountable at the time.

A Breakthrough

About a month after the Summit, when the rest of the copywriting inquiries had died out, a forum member contacted me about doing some copywriting work.

I felt like it was a really good fit.

We had an initial meeting.

All I had to do was send out an invoice and schedule the next step.

And then... I choked again.

So I sent nothing.

After this particular forum member waited patiently to hear back from me for over a week, they sent me this email. It took me three days before I could even work up the courage to open it. But when I did, I was absolutely blown away by the kindness and patience and understanding that was conveyed.

Hey Rebekah,

Hope you are well.

Just a quick email before the weekend. I hope I am not putting you under pressure but just wanted to check everything is all good - never really heard back.

If there is something personal going on then just let me know if I can help in any way.

If you just need time to finish off other stuff first that is fine too - just give me a heads up if that is okay.

Anyway really hoping we can still work together and that everything is all good with you.

As a friend, I am always here if you got anything you ever want to discuss or need help with.

Thanks,

When I read this, I wanted to cry.

I felt like I deserved to get chewed out.

But instead, I was treated with such extraordinary gentleness and genuine desire for my wellbeing.

Something about it elevated me up out of the fear-bound mindset that I had been stuck in.

I felt a budding of resolve.

It was like I shook off the fog and confusion and impotence that had been covering me. I saw clearly for the first time in ages.

"You know what?" I said to myself.

"If I'm going to continue in this pitiful, ridiculous behavior, then I need to just decide that I'm not going to do copywriting, I'm just going to be an employee and be dictated to, and I'm just going to slump into mediocrity and not try to do bigger things.

But that's not what I want.

Either I can answer client emails and send out invoices and schedule appointments and provide copywriting services, or I can't.

And I'm saying that I can.

So I'm going to cut out this nonsense, get this invoice off, and actually start taking action here."

It was a line-in-the-sand moment for me.

It was truly a gift to receive that email. Something about it just gave me the boost that I needed at just the right time to get me moving again.

Another gift - The Kill Bigger Incubator

Not long after that, I got another HUGE gift. Kak chose me for the protégé incubator position that he offered in the Kill Bigger incubator.

So we started chatting every day on Skype.

And I started building.

And thinking bigger.

And feeling incredibly grateful for the opportunity to have mentorship and guidance as I floundered along on the path.

Then I got fired from my job, and I was so happy

Towards the end of May, the day came when my boss got on the phone with me to make an offer.

He really wanted to keep me employed, but the company just wasn't making money.

So he proposed the following.

How about if he furloughs me from my job due to Covid and I go on unemployment for now. During my unemployment, he will give me accounting courses to take. Once the unemployment money runs out, I will be up to speed by then to come back into his accounting firm as a bookkeeper. If I work hard and keep studying, I could be an accountant myself one day. And then, 5 years after that, I could potentially even have my own accounting business.

During this conversation, while he was saying all this, inside my head, I was going, "YES! I'm getting fired. NO! I'm not going to be an accountant. Why would I do that when I already have my own business? I am NEVER GOING TO WORK FOR SOMEONE AGAIN."

But what I actually said to him was, "Thank you very much for that generous offer. Let me talk it over with my husband and get back to you."

And after a perfunctory overnight had passed, I sent him an email graciously thanking him for his desire to keep me employed but saying that I thought it was best to use this opportunity to pursue other avenues.

After that, I was like, "YAAAAAAAAASSSSS! I'm FREEEEEEEE!"

It felt really, really good.

I never even had to file for unemployment.

Within a few days, I had completely replaced my full-time income through two main retainer clients and a hodge-podge of one-off projects.

And I'm determined never to go back to a traditional full-time job.

Where I am right now

• July was my highest-income month ever, even though I took a much-needed week-long vacation where I totally unplugged and did no work.
• The residual mental health struggles have continued. I still have an unhealthy habit of not getting back to people who contact me. I'm working on this. I don't consent for this habit to stay. I haven't fully gotten to the bottom of why I behave this way, but I'm hopeful that I can implement some better systems and address my irrational fears so that this doesn't keep happening.
• I have made progress in the area of my "why" and my struggle to force myself to work. It doesn't feel like quite so much of a burden and a drag. I think I still have a ways to go, but it's nice to see some improvements.
• My husband and I have renewed an extremely loving and fulfilling relationship, which is awesome. This happened largely due to Covid. He has some significant health issues that put him at greater risk, so we have been self-quarantining at home since March 15. I think the realization that I could lose him caused me to start to treasure him so much more. We have been getting along great. Being happy in my relationship makes such a huge difference in my overall happiness
• I'm working with a factory in Mexico to manufacture a product that I've been working on a prototype for. This is an in-demand item that fills a need, and my version has some properties that skew value in a way that no one else is doing.

That's all for now! Congrats if you made it all the way to the end!

 

Dislike ads? Remove them and support the forum: Subscribe to Fastlane Insiders.

[sparechange]

OK my progress update has been LONG overdue.

This will be really good for me to just write out, even if only to keep a written record for myself. Hopefully it'll be useful in some way to others as well.

Since this is long, if you want to skim it, you'll get the gist of everything by reading just the bold headings.


Work and personal progress (or lack thereof?) while struggling with mental health

So I left off June 27, 2019, when I posted my last update.

I had just started a job as a marketing manager for a real estate company.

That ended up being good in a number of ways. I got to manage Google Ads campaigns for the first time. I got to set up my first business instagram account and work on how to grow it. I got to define how they did their SEO and email marketing. So there was definitely some professional growth happening.

At the same time, I was barely keeping my head above water in terms of my mental and emotional health. The burnout that happened in my previous job continued to affect me in many ways in my personal life, producing ongoing anxiety and depression. I started counseling weekly with a therapist around that time, which helped. I felt like I was hunkered down, barely keeping up with "normal life." On the weekends, I would pretty much collapse. I felt like everything I was doing was basically meaningless. Eat, to live, to work, to afford food, to eat, and there we go again. I was also deeply unhappy in my marriage. So I was really relieved that my job was in the local area where I could drive into the office every day. It was an hour away, and I really relished that hour-long drive each way. I didn't realize that a person could love a commute that much. The chance to be silent - to talk on the phone - to listen to audiobooks - felt like the highlight of each day. After working from home for the previous year, it was a welcome change to be in a workplace with people again.

Time went along, and my husband and I started marriage counseling in the fall. We established a budget. Both of those things were huge at helping to restore our relationship.

Around that time, the company I was working for started running into financial difficulty. The trouble was, they only ever sold one property in the whole year I was there. It was actually kind of painful to see how bad at sales their real estate brokers were. They had listings, but the listings were overpriced because the agents were afraid they would lose the listing if they told the sellers to list it at the price that the market would actually support. And then even when potential buyers would appear, we couldn't seem to get basic information over to the potential buyers when they requested it. So they would move on. It got so bad that one of the owners had to put his own home on the market in order to keep paying the bills. I remember saying to my husband, "If this company was my client and not my employer, I would have fired this client already."

It was a really good lesson on "what not to do when running a business," without having to be in the shoes of the business owners whose business is failing.

You have to be able to sell.

That's just fundamental.

Selling is where your income comes from.

Our main competitor in that real estate niche was a super unethical brokerage. But they were GOOD at sales. So they were crushing it--even though they were burning bridges left and right (and borderline running afoul of the law all the time). We were trying to set ourselves apart by being a really ethical, upstanding business. But if you can't sell, you're going to go out of business, no matter how principled and moral you are.

Without money, we had no advertising budget. One of the owners was paying my salary out of his own pocket. Keeping me onboard started to be more of a formality, to look like a functioning business on the outside, than actually a benefit to the business. The owner was also a CPA, so he switched his focus back to serving accounting clients to bring in cash flow. I became a nondescript-office-task-doer.

In addition to all this, the personality of my boss reminded me a lot of my dad. My dad has anger problems. When I was a little girl, my dad would yell at me, and I would cry. I remember crying to the point where I would stop getting enough oxygen and feel dizzy. In interactions with my boss, I felt exactly like I used to feel as a little girl, crying while my dad yelled at me. It felt like everything I did at work was wrong. I was hired for my copywriting and marketing skill, but none of my recommendations were ever listened to. I would turn in work that was good, and then I would be required to revise that work until it was lame, ineffective, and weak. Or I would be asked to do something, and then it would be simply discarded. Or it would be given to someone else to do who had no marketing knowledge and no ability to sell, and their version would be the one that went live. I was constantly confused by this. Inside, I was like, "You hired me because I have a skill. But when it comes time to actually use that skill, you don't want anything to do with my work. Why would you do that?"

It got to the point where I became afraid to do anything until I was told explicitly what to do. I wasn't comfortable taking any initiative. I could no longer think for myself or bring ideas to the table. So I would wait until I was told to do something, and then I would do exactly what I was told.

In other words, I was no longer bringing my best self to work.

Not even close.

My sense of professional ability was eroding week by week, between December 2019 and May 2020.

It became harder and harder to face my work. It took all my willpower to gear myself up to face another day.

Given that I was already struggling with anxiety and depression, this was not a good recipe for my mental well being.

A Beautiful Bright Spot - Speaking at the Summit

During this whole season, the Fastlane Forum was one true bright spot for me. I felt like here, at least, was one place where I could keep the dream alive, interact with smart people, be validated that I did have something to offer, and have a reason not to sink slowly into apathy and slavery to the script.

And somehow, in the midst of all the above struggles, I found the courage to suggest myself to MJ as a speaker at the summit.

Actually, I know what it was.

I really, really wanted to go to the Summit.

And I figured that if I could go as a speaker, it would be $100 cheaper for my ticket.

So the thought of saving that money helped to propel me to offer to speak.

And to my astonishment, MJ accepted. I still remember the feeling of happiness and excitement and awe and astonishment that washed over me when I got his email that I had been accepted. It was a surge of hope and exhilaration and anticipation that I had rarely felt in the last...I don't know how long.

(I actually quite like public speaking. Some people have a fear of this. I somehow don't. I have a MUCH greater fear of interacting with people in social situations.)

It's hard to describe what a huge gift it was to me to attend and speak at the Summit.

It was something to look forward to.

It was something that symbolized that YES, I was going to reach higher, and NO, I was not going to settle for this weak, pitiful, depressed existence where I was merely surviving through life.

It was something that brought me hope.

It was a HUGE milestone for me, as I had never spoken on stage about copywriting to an audience before.

And actually being there in February, and meeting so many awesome and amazing people, and stepping out of my everyday life for just a few days, was one of the highlights of my year.

(Side note: I am SO SO SO SO glad and relieved that we got to do that before things got shut down with Covid.)

Post-Summit panic: I choke

After the Summit, about 8 people contacted me to request copywriting services.

And - I choked.

It was a response of irrational fear.

I can't really explain it.

And I really hate that I did this.

But I just - went silent.

Didn't email anybody back.

Didn't even give them the courtesy of a reply.

Somehow, I don't know why, but an email would show up in my inbox, and I couldn't bring myself to even open it.

When I finally did open it, it was mildly terrifying to actually read it.

And when I finally did read it, it was so mortally difficult to respond to it that I just...didn't.

My better judgment (dimly protesting from the recesses of my mind) was like, "Wait, what? Look at this. You're getting clients. This is what you wanted. Why won't you follow up? And anyway, people don't deserve to be treated like this. It's not a good look. Businesses are supposed to follow up within 24 hours. You shouldn't leave people hanging like this."

But my fear overrode any reason.

Some people actually contacted me two or three times.

What else could I possibly want? People were begging me to work with them, and I couldn't even answer.

I planted seeds, and they sprouted, and then I left them to wither and die.

What was going on? What was wrong with me?

I was stuck in this mindset of, "I don't know when I can do any projects for anyone. I'm stretched too thin already. I don't know how I can possibly commit to any work. I can't figure out my calendar."

My biggest fear was that I would get myself on the hook for some work - and then never actually DO it.

I couldn't see how I would bring myself to actually do the work.

And then that would be messy, because I would have to refund the client, and I would have wasted their time and mine, and then I would really feel like a failure.

Plus, I was in the middle of being treated at my job like I had nothing of value to offer. So my self-confidence was greatly eroded that I could provide anything of value to anyone.

I think underneath it all, I was fundamentally depressed and didn't have a clear "why." All work felt like a meaningless, tedious chore that I would have to force myself to do. So the idea of expending energy to force myself to do more work was just insurmountable at the time.

A Breakthrough

About a month after the Summit, when the rest of the copywriting inquiries had died out, a forum member contacted me about doing some copywriting work.

I felt like it was a really good fit.

We had an initial meeting.

All I had to do was send out an invoice and schedule the next step.

And then... I choked again.

So I sent nothing.

After this particular forum member waited patiently to hear back from me for over a week, they sent me this email. It took me three days before I could even work up the courage to open it. But when I did, I was absolutely blown away by the kindness and patience and understanding that was conveyed.



When I read this, I wanted to cry.

I felt like I deserved to get chewed out.

But instead, I was treated with such extraordinary gentleness and genuine desire for my wellbeing.

Something about it elevated me up out of the fear-bound mindset that I had been stuck in.

I felt a budding of resolve.

It was like I shook off the fog and confusion and impotence that had been covering me. I saw clearly for the first time in ages.

"You know what?" I said to myself.

"If I'm going to continue in this pitiful, ridiculous behavior, then I need to just decide that I'm not going to do copywriting, I'm just going to be an employee and be dictated to, and I'm just going to slump into mediocrity and not try to do bigger things.

But that's not what I want.

Either I can answer client emails and send out invoices and schedule appointments and provide copywriting services, or I can't.

And I'm saying that I can.

So I'm going to cut out this nonsense, get this invoice off, and actually start taking action here."

It was a line-in-the-sand moment for me.

It was truly a gift to receive that email. Something about it just gave me the boost that I needed at just the right time to get me moving again.

Another gift - The Kill Bigger Incubator

Not long after that, I got another HUGE gift. Kak chose me for the protégé incubator position that he offered in the Kill Bigger incubator.

So we started chatting every day on Skype.

And I started building.

And thinking bigger.

And feeling incredibly grateful for the opportunity to have mentorship and guidance as I floundered along on the path.

Then I got fired from my job, and I was so happy

Towards the end of May, the day came when my boss got on the phone with me to make an offer.

He really wanted to keep me employed, but the company just wasn't making money.

So he proposed the following.

How about if he furloughs me from my job due to Covid and I go on unemployment for now. During my unemployment, he will give me accounting courses to take. Once the unemployment money runs out, I will be up to speed by then to come back into his accounting firm as a bookkeeper. If I work hard and keep studying, I could be an accountant myself one day. And then, 5 years after that, I could potentially even have my own accounting business.

During this conversation, while he was saying all this, inside my head, I was going, "YES! I'm getting fired. NO! I'm not going to be an accountant. Why would I do that when I already have my own business? I am NEVER GOING TO WORK FOR SOMEONE AGAIN."

But what I actually said to him was, "Thank you very much for that generous offer. Let me talk it over with my husband and get back to you."

And after a perfunctory overnight had passed, I sent him an email graciously thanking him for his desire to keep me employed but saying that I thought it was best to use this opportunity to pursue other avenues.

After that, I was like, "YAAAAAAAAASSSSS! I'm FREEEEEEEE!"

It felt really, really good.

I never even had to file for unemployment.

Within a few days, I had completely replaced my full-time income through two main retainer clients and a hodge-podge of one-off projects.

And I'm determined never to go back to a traditional full-time job.

Where I am right now

• July was my highest-income month ever, even though I took a much-needed week-long vacation where I totally unplugged and did no work.
• The residual mental health struggles have continued. I still have an unhealthy habit of not getting back to people who contact me. I'm working on this. I don't consent for this habit to stay. I haven't fully gotten to the bottom of why I behave this way, but I'm hopeful that I can implement some better systems and address my irrational fears so that this doesn't keep happening.
• I have made progress in the area of my "why" and my struggle to force myself to work. It doesn't feel like quite so much of a burden and a drag. I think I still have a ways to go, but it's nice to see some improvements.
• My husband and I have renewed an extremely loving and fulfilling relationship, which is awesome. This happened largely due to Covid. He has some significant health issues that put him at greater risk, so we have been self-quarantining at home since March 15. I think the realization that I could lose him caused me to start to treasure him so much more. We have been getting along great. Being happy in my relationship makes such a huge difference in my overall happiness
• I'm working with a factory in Mexico to manufacture a product that I've been working on a prototype for. This is an in-demand item that fills a need, and my version has some properties that skew value in a way that no one else is doing.

That's all for now! Congrats if you made it all the way to the end!

Good to hear from you With mental health make sure to take care of yourself! Treat yourself to a spa day, massages and stuff like that. Go on hikes in nature with no phone and enjoy the beauty of trees, the sky, clouds, soak it all in and watch the sunset! Life's to short to not enjoy it. Getting away in nature and far away from the city is super beneficial to mental health.

Within a few days, I had completely replaced my full-time income through two main retainer clients and a hodge-podge of one-off projects.

Keep going! Good luck with the new product

 

[Bekit]

Good to hear from you With mental health make sure to take care of yourself! Treat yourself to a spa day, massages and stuff like that. Go on hikes in nature with no phone and enjoy the beauty of trees, the sky, clouds, soak it all in and watch the sunset! Life's to short to not enjoy it. Getting away in nature and far away from the city is super beneficial to mental health.

Within a few days, I had completely replaced my full-time income through two main retainer clients and a hodge-podge of one-off projects.

Keep going! Good luck with the new product

Thanks for the encouragement! Yeah, I haven't had enough hikes and outdoor stuff in the past few years. Definitely need to get that going again. Start a "self-care" fund and fund it with days to go outside and hike.

 

[sparechange]

Thanks for the encouragement! Yeah, I haven't had enough hikes and outdoor stuff in the past few years. Definitely need to get that going again. Start a "self-care" fund and fund it with days to go outside and hike.

I've been spending a lot of time outside due to the covid stuff and feel much better, being out in nature is a must!

 

Dislike ads? Remove them and support the forum: Subscribe to Fastlane Insiders.

[Primeperiwinkle]

Oh Bekit! This was wonderful to read!! I’m sooo thankful for your honesty through writing this. It’s incredibly encouraging.

 

[ZF Lee]

OK my progress update has been LONG overdue.

This will be really good for me to just write out, even if only to keep a written record for myself. Hopefully it'll be useful in some way to others as well.

Since this is long, if you want to skim it, you'll get the gist of everything by reading just the bold headings.


Work and personal progress (or lack thereof?) while struggling with mental health

So I left off June 27, 2019, when I posted my last update.

I had just started a job as a marketing manager for a real estate company.

That ended up being good in a number of ways. I got to manage Google Ads campaigns for the first time. I got to set up my first business instagram account and work on how to grow it. I got to define how they did their SEO and email marketing. So there was definitely some professional growth happening.

At the same time, I was barely keeping my head above water in terms of my mental and emotional health. The burnout that happened in my previous job continued to affect me in many ways in my personal life, producing ongoing anxiety and depression. I started counseling weekly with a therapist around that time, which helped. I felt like I was hunkered down, barely keeping up with "normal life." On the weekends, I would pretty much collapse. I felt like everything I was doing was basically meaningless. Eat, to live, to work, to afford food, to eat, and there we go again. I was also deeply unhappy in my marriage. So I was really relieved that my job was in the local area where I could drive into the office every day. It was an hour away, and I really relished that hour-long drive each way. I didn't realize that a person could love a commute that much. The chance to be silent - to talk on the phone - to listen to audiobooks - felt like the highlight of each day. After working from home for the previous year, it was a welcome change to be in a workplace with people again.

Time went along, and my husband and I started marriage counseling in the fall. We established a budget. Both of those things were huge at helping to restore our relationship.

Around that time, the company I was working for started running into financial difficulty. The trouble was, they only ever sold one property in the whole year I was there. It was actually kind of painful to see how bad at sales their real estate brokers were. They had listings, but the listings were overpriced because the agents were afraid they would lose the listing if they told the sellers to list it at the price that the market would actually support. And then even when potential buyers would appear, we couldn't seem to get basic information over to the potential buyers when they requested it. So they would move on. It got so bad that one of the owners had to put his own home on the market in order to keep paying the bills. I remember saying to my husband, "If this company was my client and not my employer, I would have fired this client already."

It was a really good lesson on "what not to do when running a business," without having to be in the shoes of the business owners whose business is failing.

You have to be able to sell.

That's just fundamental.

Selling is where your income comes from.

Our main competitor in that real estate niche was a super unethical brokerage. But they were GOOD at sales. So they were crushing it--even though they were burning bridges left and right (and borderline running afoul of the law all the time). We were trying to set ourselves apart by being a really ethical, upstanding business. But if you can't sell, you're going to go out of business, no matter how principled and moral you are.

Without money, we had no advertising budget. One of the owners was paying my salary out of his own pocket. Keeping me onboard started to be more of a formality, to look like a functioning business on the outside, than actually a benefit to the business. The owner was also a CPA, so he switched his focus back to serving accounting clients to bring in cash flow. I became a nondescript-office-task-doer.

In addition to all this, the personality of my boss reminded me a lot of my dad. My dad has anger problems. When I was a little girl, my dad would yell at me, and I would cry. I remember crying to the point where I would stop getting enough oxygen and feel dizzy. In interactions with my boss, I felt exactly like I used to feel as a little girl, crying while my dad yelled at me. It felt like everything I did at work was wrong. I was hired for my copywriting and marketing skill, but none of my recommendations were ever listened to. I would turn in work that was good, and then I would be required to revise that work until it was lame, ineffective, and weak. Or I would be asked to do something, and then it would be simply discarded. Or it would be given to someone else to do who had no marketing knowledge and no ability to sell, and their version would be the one that went live. I was constantly confused by this. Inside, I was like, "You hired me because I have a skill. But when it comes time to actually use that skill, you don't want anything to do with my work. Why would you do that?"

It got to the point where I became afraid to do anything until I was told explicitly what to do. I wasn't comfortable taking any initiative. I could no longer think for myself or bring ideas to the table. So I would wait until I was told to do something, and then I would do exactly what I was told.

In other words, I was no longer bringing my best self to work.

Not even close.

My sense of professional ability was eroding week by week, between December 2019 and May 2020.

It became harder and harder to face my work. It took all my willpower to gear myself up to face another day.

Given that I was already struggling with anxiety and depression, this was not a good recipe for my mental well being.

A Beautiful Bright Spot - Speaking at the Summit

During this whole season, the Fastlane Forum was one true bright spot for me. I felt like here, at least, was one place where I could keep the dream alive, interact with smart people, be validated that I did have something to offer, and have a reason not to sink slowly into apathy and slavery to the script.

And somehow, in the midst of all the above struggles, I found the courage to suggest myself to MJ as a speaker at the summit.

Actually, I know what it was.

I really, really wanted to go to the Summit.

And I figured that if I could go as a speaker, it would be $100 cheaper for my ticket.

So the thought of saving that money helped to propel me to offer to speak.

And to my astonishment, MJ accepted. I still remember the feeling of happiness and excitement and awe and astonishment that washed over me when I got his email that I had been accepted. It was a surge of hope and exhilaration and anticipation that I had rarely felt in the last...I don't know how long.

(I actually quite like public speaking. Some people have a fear of this. I somehow don't. I have a MUCH greater fear of interacting with people in social situations.)

It's hard to describe what a huge gift it was to me to attend and speak at the Summit.

It was something to look forward to.

It was something that symbolized that YES, I was going to reach higher, and NO, I was not going to settle for this weak, pitiful, depressed existence where I was merely surviving through life.

It was something that brought me hope.

It was a HUGE milestone for me, as I had never spoken on stage about copywriting to an audience before.

And actually being there in February, and meeting so many awesome and amazing people, and stepping out of my everyday life for just a few days, was one of the highlights of my year.

(Side note: I am SO SO SO SO glad and relieved that we got to do that before things got shut down with Covid.)

Post-Summit panic: I choke

After the Summit, about 8 people contacted me to request copywriting services.

And - I choked.

It was a response of irrational fear.

I can't really explain it.

And I really hate that I did this.

But I just - went silent.

Didn't email anybody back.

Didn't even give them the courtesy of a reply.

Somehow, I don't know why, but an email would show up in my inbox, and I couldn't bring myself to even open it.

When I finally did open it, it was mildly terrifying to actually read it.

And when I finally did read it, it was so mortally difficult to respond to it that I just...didn't.

My better judgment (dimly protesting from the recesses of my mind) was like, "Wait, what? Look at this. You're getting clients. This is what you wanted. Why won't you follow up? And anyway, people don't deserve to be treated like this. It's not a good look. Businesses are supposed to follow up within 24 hours. You shouldn't leave people hanging like this."

But my fear overrode any reason.

Some people actually contacted me two or three times.

What else could I possibly want? People were begging me to work with them, and I couldn't even answer.

I planted seeds, and they sprouted, and then I left them to wither and die.

What was going on? What was wrong with me?

I was stuck in this mindset of, "I don't know when I can do any projects for anyone. I'm stretched too thin already. I don't know how I can possibly commit to any work. I can't figure out my calendar."

My biggest fear was that I would get myself on the hook for some work - and then never actually DO it.

I couldn't see how I would bring myself to actually do the work.

And then that would be messy, because I would have to refund the client, and I would have wasted their time and mine, and then I would really feel like a failure.

Plus, I was in the middle of being treated at my job like I had nothing of value to offer. So my self-confidence was greatly eroded that I could provide anything of value to anyone.

I think underneath it all, I was fundamentally depressed and didn't have a clear "why." All work felt like a meaningless, tedious chore that I would have to force myself to do. So the idea of expending energy to force myself to do more work was just insurmountable at the time.

A Breakthrough

About a month after the Summit, when the rest of the copywriting inquiries had died out, a forum member contacted me about doing some copywriting work.

I felt like it was a really good fit.

We had an initial meeting.

All I had to do was send out an invoice and schedule the next step.

And then... I choked again.

So I sent nothing.

After this particular forum member waited patiently to hear back from me for over a week, they sent me this email. It took me three days before I could even work up the courage to open it. But when I did, I was absolutely blown away by the kindness and patience and understanding that was conveyed.



When I read this, I wanted to cry.

I felt like I deserved to get chewed out.

But instead, I was treated with such extraordinary gentleness and genuine desire for my wellbeing.

Something about it elevated me up out of the fear-bound mindset that I had been stuck in.

I felt a budding of resolve.

It was like I shook off the fog and confusion and impotence that had been covering me. I saw clearly for the first time in ages.

"You know what?" I said to myself.

"If I'm going to continue in this pitiful, ridiculous behavior, then I need to just decide that I'm not going to do copywriting, I'm just going to be an employee and be dictated to, and I'm just going to slump into mediocrity and not try to do bigger things.

But that's not what I want.

Either I can answer client emails and send out invoices and schedule appointments and provide copywriting services, or I can't.

And I'm saying that I can.

So I'm going to cut out this nonsense, get this invoice off, and actually start taking action here."

It was a line-in-the-sand moment for me.

It was truly a gift to receive that email. Something about it just gave me the boost that I needed at just the right time to get me moving again.

Another gift - The Kill Bigger Incubator

Not long after that, I got another HUGE gift. Kak chose me for the protégé incubator position that he offered in the Kill Bigger incubator.

So we started chatting every day on Skype.

And I started building.

And thinking bigger.

And feeling incredibly grateful for the opportunity to have mentorship and guidance as I floundered along on the path.

Then I got fired from my job, and I was so happy

Towards the end of May, the day came when my boss got on the phone with me to make an offer.

He really wanted to keep me employed, but the company just wasn't making money.

So he proposed the following.

How about if he furloughs me from my job due to Covid and I go on unemployment for now. During my unemployment, he will give me accounting courses to take. Once the unemployment money runs out, I will be up to speed by then to come back into his accounting firm as a bookkeeper. If I work hard and keep studying, I could be an accountant myself one day. And then, 5 years after that, I could potentially even have my own accounting business.

During this conversation, while he was saying all this, inside my head, I was going, "YES! I'm getting fired. NO! I'm not going to be an accountant. Why would I do that when I already have my own business? I am NEVER GOING TO WORK FOR SOMEONE AGAIN."

But what I actually said to him was, "Thank you very much for that generous offer. Let me talk it over with my husband and get back to you."

And after a perfunctory overnight had passed, I sent him an email graciously thanking him for his desire to keep me employed but saying that I thought it was best to use this opportunity to pursue other avenues.

After that, I was like, "YAAAAAAAAASSSSS! I'm FREEEEEEEE!"

It felt really, really good.

I never even had to file for unemployment.

Within a few days, I had completely replaced my full-time income through two main retainer clients and a hodge-podge of one-off projects.

And I'm determined never to go back to a traditional full-time job.

Where I am right now

• July was my highest-income month ever, even though I took a much-needed week-long vacation where I totally unplugged and did no work.
• The residual mental health struggles have continued. I still have an unhealthy habit of not getting back to people who contact me. I'm working on this. I don't consent for this habit to stay. I haven't fully gotten to the bottom of why I behave this way, but I'm hopeful that I can implement some better systems and address my irrational fears so that this doesn't keep happening.
• I have made progress in the area of my "why" and my struggle to force myself to work. It doesn't feel like quite so much of a burden and a drag. I think I still have a ways to go, but it's nice to see some improvements.
• My husband and I have renewed an extremely loving and fulfilling relationship, which is awesome. This happened largely due to Covid. He has some significant health issues that put him at greater risk, so we have been self-quarantining at home since March 15. I think the realization that I could lose him caused me to start to treasure him so much more. We have been getting along great. Being happy in my relationship makes such a huge difference in my overall happiness
• I'm working with a factory in Mexico to manufacture a product that I've been working on a prototype for. This is an in-demand item that fills a need, and my version has some properties that skew value in a way that no one else is doing.

That's all for now! Congrats if you made it all the way to the end!

Thanks for sharing! Thank goodness you made it through-especially with your husband.

The burnout with the boss, the fear of opening emails...these are what I faced as well on the freelance copywriting trail. You described it all really well.

And I've come to a point that doing YOUR OWN copywriting projects helps you to cut out the neediness that leads copywriters to hell...which you've already arrived at.

For the getting back to people problem, you can jot down in a notepad when you want to call them back, and what stuff to discuss with them. Maybe in intervals of 1-3 days/weeks after the first call...a follow-up sequence, if you will.

Of course, if they are shitty prospects or pretty late in response, you'd have to start letting them go and paying more attention to the more responsive folks.

Good to hear from you With mental health make sure to take care of yourself! Treat yourself to a spa day, massages and stuff like that. Go on hikes in nature with no phone and enjoy the beauty of trees, the sky, clouds, soak it all in and watch the sunset! Life's to short to not enjoy it. Getting away in nature and far away from the city is super beneficial to mental health.

Within a few days, I had completely replaced my full-time income through two main retainer clients and a hodge-podge of one-off projects.

Keep going! Good luck with the new product

A few days ago, I went out on a family trip to a hilltop getaway in Penang, where there was zero Internet but tons of greenery, flowers and monkeys (yeah...).

So I brought a stack of books and copywriting breakdowns to read.

I used to take WEEKS just to finish 300 pages. Somehow I zoomed through my reads.

Nature getaways are a great solution to kill off distractions, give eyes something healthier to see than a screen and somehow 'resets' your mind.

I regret not bringing watercolour to paint there.

 

[Fox]

After this particular forum member waited patiently to hear back from me for over a week, they sent me this email.

Since this was me let me jump in to say you are hands down the highest ROI person or thing we have invested in as a business. Bekit you are an absolute star and your work is next level.

In Ireland we have a saying that "a fisherman can recognise another fisherman afar". I could guess at the time something was probably up since I have been in these types of moods myself before. Stick in there and you will do so well - you got a lot of well earned talent and are a great person to connect with.

A lot of respect for posting this up and working on all these challenges. A lot of people have this stuff and never tackle them and instead turn to vices or distractions. You got a lot of heart.

Keep moving forward and do what is right for you. Any business would be lucky to have you so look for what you want and I am sure it will be possible to create. Thanks for all you have done!

 

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[Bekit]

Oh Bekit! This was wonderful to read!! I’m sooo thankful for your honesty through writing this. It’s incredibly encouraging.

I'm so glad it was encouraging! Thanks for reading!

For the getting back to people problem, you can jot down in a notepad when you want to call them back, and what stuff to discuss with them. Maybe in intervals of 1-3 days/weeks after the first call...a follow-up sequence, if you will.

This is a really good tip! Thank you!

A few days ago, I went out on a family trip to a hilltop getaway in Penang, where there was zero Internet but tons of greenery, flowers and monkeys (yeah...).

Nature getaways are a great solution to kill off distractions, give eyes something healthier to see than a screen and somehow 'resets' your mind.

I regret not bringing watercolour to paint there.

My vacation in July was to Utah. We went to Zion National Park and the Grand Canyon. It was SO refreshing and beautiful!

Oooh! and Watercolor!! I need to learn how to do that.

Since this was me let me jump in to say you are hands down the highest ROI person or thing we have invested in as a business. Bekit you are an absolute star and your work is next level.

In Ireland we have a saying that "a fisherman can recognise another fisherman afar". I could guess at the time something was probably up since I have been in these types of moods myself before. Stick in there and you will do so well - you got a lot of well earned talent and are a great person to connect with.

A lot of respect for posting this up and working on all these challenges. A lot of people have this stuff and never tackle them and instead turn to vices or distractions. You got a lot of heart.

Keep moving forward and do what is right for you. Any business would be lucky to have you so look for what you want and I am sure it will be possible to create. Thanks for all you have done!

I didn't know if you would want to be identified by name, but I owe you such hearty thanks for all the ways you've been patient with me as I manage myself in these challenges.

And - right back at ya! My utmost respect is with you and the way you're running things. I'm so inspired by all the progress and growth you've made with Fox Web School. It's truly legendary.

 

[Andy Black]

Fair play for you for being so open @Bekit. I'm delighted you got out of that awful work environment, and that your relationship with your husband is on better terms.

Glad you're working with @Fox and @Kak.

 

[MTF]

I also worked with @Bekit (she reached out to me herself and was highly recommended by @Kak) and was very happy with her services as well.

I appreciate your update, Rebekah, and wish you all the best.

@Fox - what a classy email to send.

 

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[ZCP]

@Bekit is a superstar.

really proud of you. pushing our people to use you more!

 

[Bekit]

Fair play for you for being so open @Bekit. I'm delighted you got out of that awful work environment, and that your relationship with your husband is on better terms.

Glad you're working with @Fox and @Kak.

Thanks for the kind words, Andy! I never cease to admire the number of people you help. You've been a huge part of my story.

I was thinking back to how I nonchalantly wrote that I never even had to file for unemployment because I completely replaced my income. And the contrast struck me vividly of how different that was from where I was when I wrote the first few posts in this progress thread.

I remember the post where I excitedly wrote that I had made my first freelance dollars.

You were the person who made it happen, and when I look at how far things have come, I'm so incredible grateful for the momentum you kicked off there.

I also worked with @Bekit (she reached out to me herself and was highly recommended by @Kak) and was very happy with her services as well.

I appreciate your update, Rebekah, and wish you all the best.

@Fox - what a classy email to send.

Thank you for the kind words. It was an absolute pleasure working with you as well.

@Bekit is a superstar.

really proud of you. pushing our people to use you more!

Thank you so much!

I feel like I have a looooongggggg way to go before I'm a superstar. But thank you for the encouragement!

 

[ZCP]

BE, DO, HAVE

Be the superstar
Do what the superstar does
Have what the superstar has

Whether you believe you are or not, BE that person and DO what they would do.

@Bekit cut the 'i'm not worthy' humbleness ....... step into the role of superstar and be that person!!

write 'I am a Superstar!' on a post it note and stick it on the edge of your monitor (post a pic)
BE, DO, HAVE

 

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[Bekit]

BE, DO, HAVE

Be the superstar
Do what the superstar does
Have what the superstar has

Whether you believe you are or not, BE that person and DO what they would do.

@Bekit cut the 'i'm not worthy' humbleness ....... step into the role of superstar and be that person!!

write 'I am a Superstar!' on a post it note and stick it on the edge of your monitor (post a pic)
BE, DO, HAVE

When I was younger, I thought I was really great.

I felt like I was so capable.

I could do anything I set my mind to.

I felt like I had never even remotely tapped into my full potential.

I hated the idea of weakness, dependence, and reliance on others.

I had boundless stores of energy. Other people would talk about how such-and-such an endeavor "brought them to the end of themselves" and they didn't know how they made it through. I was like, "What does that even mean?" I had never reached a wall.

(I figure this is largely genetic. My siblings and my parents are also like this.)

Then I went through years of chronic illness.

Suddenly, I was the weak one.

I had to drop things I loved, like games of Ultimate Frisbee and skiing. Anything that cost more energy than a slow walk was so exhausting it would take me days to recover.

In the middle of all this, in 2014, I experienced a loss that rocked my world, disrupted my sense of my identity, and robbed me of my "why."

Rebuilding after that experience has been slow, painful, and confusing.

I remember the "superstar" I used to be. I can't just throw on that cape and rise up and conquer like I used to.

I mean, I can try, but it feels a bit like being a 90-year-old grandmother and hyping yourself up to say, "Hey, kids, watch this. I'm going to dance like when I was 20." Hahahaha good luck, grandma.

I'm learning more and more that I am not the superstar of my life. God is. And the more I live in dependence on him, receiving His strength instead of counting on my own (depleted) strength, the more I find that I am enabled to go on patiently, reduce the anxiety, find joy instead of depression, and legitimately do bigger things than I did when I was in my 20s and had all that energy.

All that said, I do find that it is a helpful lens to use a modified version of your advice,

"Whether you believe you are or not, BE that person and DO what they would do."

When I'm struggling with client communication, and I think, "How would a superstar business owner do this? OK, do that," it helps to crystallize the actions I should take.

And when I start doing the actions of a superstar, it helps me to start being more like that superstar.

I guess I just prefer to approach it from the perspective that at the end of the day, God is my superstar, not me.

 

[GuitarManDan]

Hey @Bekit - just wanted to say it was great meeting you at the summit and I really appreciate the transparency in this progress thread.

It's great to see things have been going so well lately and I'm sure you know you have a very supportive community on here to help in the future.

 

[CareCPA]

Post-Summit panic: I choke

After the Summit, about 8 people contacted me to request copywriting services.

And - I choked.

It was a response of irrational fear.

I can't really explain it.

And I really hate that I did this.

But I just - went silent.

Didn't email anybody back.

Didn't even give them the courtesy of a reply.

Somehow, I don't know why, but an email would show up in my inbox, and I couldn't bring myself to even open it.

When I finally did open it, it was mildly terrifying to actually read it.

And when I finally did read it, it was so mortally difficult to respond to it that I just...didn't.

My better judgment (dimly protesting from the recesses of my mind) was like, "Wait, what? Look at this. You're getting clients. This is what you wanted. Why won't you follow up? And anyway, people don't deserve to be treated like this. It's not a good look. Businesses are supposed to follow up within 24 hours. You shouldn't leave people hanging like this."

But my fear overrode any reason.

Some people actually contacted me two or three times.

What else could I possibly want? People were begging me to work with them, and I couldn't even answer.

I planted seeds, and they sprouted, and then I left them to wither and die.

What was going on? What was wrong with me?

I was stuck in this mindset of, "I don't know when I can do any projects for anyone. I'm stretched too thin already. I don't know how I can possibly commit to any work. I can't figure out my calendar."

My biggest fear was that I would get myself on the hook for some work - and then never actually DO it.

I couldn't see how I would bring myself to actually do the work.

And then that would be messy, because I would have to refund the client, and I would have wasted their time and mine, and then I would really feel like a failure.

Plus, I was in the middle of being treated at my job like I had nothing of value to offer. So my self-confidence was greatly eroded that I could provide anything of value to anyone.

I think underneath it all, I was fundamentally depressed and didn't have a clear "why." All work felt like a meaningless, tedious chore that I would have to force myself to do. So the idea of expending energy to force myself to do more work was just insurmountable at the time.

I can relate to this. Hard.

Going through a period of overwhelm now. There isn't one major thing that's holding me back, but when I look at the mountain of "to-dos" they just seem like so much.

Logically, I know it's fine. Emotionally, it's just a lot.

Luckily, I've got a couple great people in the right positions that will carry us through this. It's just a matter of getting my own mind right.

I appreciate you sharing the struggles. Too many of these threads only discuss the wins. The process can be a grind, and it can be a difficult grind, and it can be an unjustifiably-overwhelming-even-when-I-know-it-isn't-overwhelming grind.

 

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[Bekit]

Hey @Bekit - just wanted to say it was great meeting you at the summit and I really appreciate the transparency in this progress thread.

It's great to see things have been going so well lately and I'm sure you know you have a very supportive community on here to help in the future.

Thanks for the kind words! Yeah, it has been wonderful to have this very supportive community.

I can relate to this. Hard.

Going through a period of overwhelm now. There isn't one major thing that's holding me back, but when I look at the mountain of "to-dos" they just seem like so much.

Logically, I know it's fine. Emotionally, it's just a lot.

Luckily, I've got a couple great people in the right positions that will carry us through this. It's just a matter of getting my own mind right.

I think that line is SO true - "Logically, I know it's fine. Emotionally, it's just a lot."

I think it's the emotional component that really gets me.

I watched this video recently that made the argument that procrastination is caused by negative emotions. Thought it was insightful.

View: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AfRWeybdF2c


I used not to think of myself as an emotional person, so I wouldn't have made this connection. But in my case, it's really more of an issue of not being connected to or aware of my own emotions. So I've started seeing more and more that whenever I'm avoiding something, there's an emotional component to it.

I appreciate you sharing the struggles. Too many of these threads only discuss the wins. The process can be a grind, and it can be a difficult grind, and it can be an unjustifiably-overwhelming-even-when-I-know-it-isn't-overwhelming grind.

About 2 years ago, I met a guy who was really open about his struggle with anxiety and depression. He talked about how much therapy helped him. He was really natural and honest in the way he brought it up. He was really intentional about de-stigmatizing it. I always appreciated his candidness and transparency with that. And I agree with him - we should have permission to talk about this stuff and not have it always be a "hush-hush" topic.

I think it's important. If people only see the wins, then it's easy to think that there was no effort, no struggle, and no self-doubt.

And I see this thread as much for a journal for me as much as a glimpse for others into the "still struggling, still fighting the good fight, still haven't made it big" stage of the story.

 

[sparechange]

Thanks for the kind words! Yeah, it has been wonderful to have this very supportive community.



I think that line is SO true - "Logically, I know it's fine. Emotionally, it's just a lot."

I think it's the emotional component that really gets me.

I watched this video recently that made the argument that procrastination is caused by negative emotions. Thought it was insightful.

View: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AfRWeybdF2c


I used not to think of myself as an emotional person, so I wouldn't have made this connection. But in my case, it's really more of an issue of not being connected to or aware of my own emotions. So I've started seeing more and more that whenever I'm avoiding something, there's an emotional component to it.



About 2 years ago, I met a guy who was really open about his struggle with anxiety and depression. He talked about how much therapy helped him. He was really natural and honest in the way he brought it up. He was really intentional about de-stigmatizing it. I always appreciated his candidness and transparency with that. And I agree with him - we should have permission to talk about this stuff and not have it always be a "hush-hush" topic.

I think it's important. If people only see the wins, then it's easy to think that there was no effort, no struggle, and no self-doubt.

And I see this thread as much for a journal for me as much as a glimpse for others into the "still struggling, still fighting the good fight, still haven't made it big" stage of the story.

Interesting video....... I'll watch it later

In my own experience with putting things off, heck I'm doing that right now, is fear of failure. I've got some calls to make, doors to knock on and ''fear of failing'' will put me in a bad mood I guess.

On the flip side if I do these calls, and knock on these doors, that would be taking action towards my goals right?

Whatever the cause of procrastination is for YOU, just take some time to look into it, think what happens if I do it and am successful, vs the opposite?

Rejection & failure is a part of life. Stare right into the abyss and jump into it, check out 10x by Grant Cardone if you need some mental mindset tweaking.

View: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OZEPbyIA8XI


Check out Sarah's talks, one of my biggest idols (she started with $5,000) paid nothing in advertising ever and became ?the first self made female billionaire.