New job or stay put?

[Strategery]

Well, here I am again. Had some failures at business and life, licked my wounds for long enough, so it’s time to get after it again.



After failing to get a web design business and an online barbell coaching business going, I went back to work for my dad at his recycling center. I’ve never enjoyed it, because of his shitty management and shittier demeanor, but I went back because I needed money. I had a few other personal disappointments during that time, and my self-esteem was pretty low. Like rock bottom. F*cking miserable. Had to move back in with my parents. Not sure why I went back to a job I hated, maybe it’s all I felt I deserved. Well I’m getting over that shit.



In the last year I moved out again, I have a girlfriend who is pretty positively influencing me. She, for whatever reason, listens to my constant bitching about my job, and keeps encouraging me to make the job more pleasant… do more to improve it… help the company… whatever, maybe you get what I’m saying. She is well aware that I have no intention of staying there long term, but that it should be, in her eyes, the funding for any Fastlane endeavors. I make $110k/year, and it’s increasing. Not a terrible idea, except that again, I F*cking hate working for my dad. Getting up in the morning feels like a chore. I’m not sure what my job role even is, because it’s never been properly spelled out for me… and yes, I have tried on multiple occasions to have him iron it out for me, and he really doesn’t know. It makes me think of the example in E-myth Revisited, the difference between delegation and abdication. Basically he has me do parts of the business that he doesn’t want to do, like purchasing materials, anything with a computer, staffing, and either micromanages me the entire time or complains about the way that I did something. Not a fun environment. I’d like to see the business grow, and become easier for the family to manage it, but I’m really limited in my ability to change things… not helpless, but very limited.



It’s my fault for taking the path of least resistance and going back. I’m clear on that. But I’m not clear on what the best options are for me. I’ve come up with a few ideas:

• Grit my damn teeth and bare it… basically just stay put and stack my cash to go towards the purchase or start of a business. This is becoming very difficult, I’m starting to feel resentment towards my dad and my older brother.
• Find another job with my very narrow skill set and basically do the same as the above, stack cash to buy a business. No idea what I would want to do, maybe sales.

I need some creativity for how to get out of my situation and work on something that I really want to work on. I want something of my own. Something that I can put my whole a$$ into. I don’t even care about millions at this point. I just need to know that I’m the captain of my own F*cking soul.

Hopefully I don’t come across as down or depressed, I’m actually feeling great these days. I lift weights a lot, ride my motorcycle, and have a Corgi (pictured in my avatar). But I do want to nail down my direction, and I like the creative energy I get from this forum, which is why I shared.

 

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[Tks]

either micromanages me the entire time or complains about the way that I did something.

My dad also does that. Just wanted to say that I totally feel you.

 

[Andy Black]

After failing to get a web design business and an online barbell coaching business going

Why do you think these didn't get going?

Why save up to buy a business instead of starting something on the side?

 

[Salman Nadeem]

My circumstances are somewhat similar to yours. In 2017, my father started a car dealership on his own, and it has been a challenging journey for him. However, I have never been interested in the business as I'm not fond of repairing cars and have no passion for it.

Despite this, I always support my parents, and I am willing to do anything to help them out. Even though I no longer work there, I volunteer once a month to assist with any issues or tasks that my father needs help with. I do not accept any payment for this because I do not want to take money from my father.

Since 2019, I've been trying my hand at e-commerce, and after much effort, I have finally achieved success. My goal is to retire both of my hardworking parents within the next two years.

This is my purpose for now and the future.

 

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[Vigilante]

Well, here I am again. Had some failures at business and life, licked my wounds for long enough, so it’s time to get after it again.



After failing to get a web design business and an online barbell coaching business going, I went back to work for my dad at his recycling center. I’ve never enjoyed it, because of his shitty management and shittier demeanor, but I went back because I needed money. I had a few other personal disappointments during that time, and my self-esteem was pretty low. Like rock bottom. F*cking miserable. Had to move back in with my parents. Not sure why I went back to a job I hated, maybe it’s all I felt I deserved. Well I’m getting over that shit.



In the last year I moved out again, I have a girlfriend who is pretty positively influencing me. She, for whatever reason, listens to my constant bitching about my job, and keeps encouraging me to make the job more pleasant… do more to improve it… help the company… whatever, maybe you get what I’m saying. She is well aware that I have no intention of staying there long term, but that it should be, in her eyes, the funding for any Fastlane endeavors. I make $110k/year, and it’s increasing. Not a terrible idea, except that again, I F*cking hate working for my dad. Getting up in the morning feels like a chore. I’m not sure what my job role even is, because it’s never been properly spelled out for me… and yes, I have tried on multiple occasions to have him iron it out for me, and he really doesn’t know. It makes me think of the example in E-myth Revisited, the difference between delegation and abdication. Basically he has me do parts of the business that he doesn’t want to do, like purchasing materials, anything with a computer, staffing, and either micromanages me the entire time or complains about the way that I did something. Not a fun environment. I’d like to see the business grow, and become easier for the family to manage it, but I’m really limited in my ability to change things… not helpless, but very limited.



It’s my fault for taking the path of least resistance and going back. I’m clear on that. But I’m not clear on what the best options are for me. I’ve come up with a few ideas:

• Grit my damn teeth and bare it… basically just stay put and stack my cash to go towards the purchase or start of a business. This is becoming very difficult, I’m starting to feel resentment towards my dad and my older brother.
• Find another job with my very narrow skill set and basically do the same as the above, stack cash to buy a business. No idea what I would want to do, maybe sales.

I need some creativity for how to get out of my situation and work on something that I really want to work on. I want something of my own. Something that I can put my whole a$$ into. I don’t even care about millions at this point. I just need to know that I’m the captain of my own F*cking soul.

Hopefully I don’t come across as down or depressed, I’m actually feeling great these days. I lift weights a lot, ride my motorcycle, and have a Corgi (pictured in my avatar). But I do want to nail down my direction, and I like the creative energy I get from this forum, which is why I shared.

Here's what I would recommend, from the school of hard knocks.

1. Circle a date on the calendar. Don't tell anyone the date, just you. Not even your GF. That's your freedom date. Put it far enough out there that it's not unrealistic, but close enough that it keeps a fire under your a$$. Less than a year, more than 6 months. Maybe Christmas. Maybe New Years Day.

2. Let that be what motivates you to change your attitude. You have an end game nobody else knows about. Let it change your demeanor. Every day between now and then, work on things that are going to get you closer to the goal and the date. Every day. 7 days a week.

3. Stop bitching to your girlfriend about your job. Stop making your problems her problems.

4. Change your attitude about your Dad. He picked you up when you hit the bottom. He may not be a peach to work for, but for F*cks sake he is paying you twice the national average wage in the United States. Try gratitude. I don't give a shit how hard he is to work for. Now you have a secret end date. Double down. Do more for your Dad. Leave on an upnote. You may inherit something some day because he built a business.

The key here is to have the plan to escape the Rat Race. Have you read the great rat race escape yet? If not, buy it today.

 

[Strategery]

Why do you think these didn't get going?

Why save up to buy a business instead of starting something on the side?

Mostly my approach. I had quit my job to pursue web design, so I was just burning money… basically I quit too soon. I created a really stressful situation for myself and gave up more so than failed.

Seemed like as soon as I got a little success in web design, I shifted my focus to the barbell training. Got a little success there, a growing client list who were getting stronger, and then the web design leads that were piling in before dried up. I would focus attention there and then before I knew it I was forgetting things with my fitness people. They left one by one, and I was pretty demoralized. Oh and broke. Very broke. In debt (I’ve paid it off).

I’m open to opportunity, but acquisition has great appeal to me. I’ve learned over the past year or so working my job that one of my greater strengths is improving systems that are already in place… I’m just not that creative when stating from a blank canvas. In fact I tend to make myself anxious when I try to sit around and come up with “business ideas” to execute on. I just like having some lines to color inside of.

I do have a few ideas for a fresh start up, and they all involve the recycling industry, which sadly I’m losing my taste for.

 

[Vigilante]

Well, here I am again. Had some failures at business and life, licked my wounds for long enough, so it’s time to get after it again.



After failing to get a web design business and an online barbell coaching business going, I went back to work for my dad at his recycling center. I’ve never enjoyed it, because of his shitty management and shittier demeanor, but I went back because I needed money. I had a few other personal disappointments during that time, and my self-esteem was pretty low. Like rock bottom. F*cking miserable. Had to move back in with my parents. Not sure why I went back to a job I hated, maybe it’s all I felt I deserved. Well I’m getting over that shit.



In the last year I moved out again, I have a girlfriend who is pretty positively influencing me. She, for whatever reason, listens to my constant bitching about my job, and keeps encouraging me to make the job more pleasant… do more to improve it… help the company… whatever, maybe you get what I’m saying. She is well aware that I have no intention of staying there long term, but that it should be, in her eyes, the funding for any Fastlane endeavors. I make $110k/year, and it’s increasing. Not a terrible idea, except that again, I F*cking hate working for my dad. Getting up in the morning feels like a chore. I’m not sure what my job role even is, because it’s never been properly spelled out for me… and yes, I have tried on multiple occasions to have him iron it out for me, and he really doesn’t know. It makes me think of the example in E-myth Revisited, the difference between delegation and abdication. Basically he has me do parts of the business that he doesn’t want to do, like purchasing materials, anything with a computer, staffing, and either micromanages me the entire time or complains about the way that I did something. Not a fun environment. I’d like to see the business grow, and become easier for the family to manage it, but I’m really limited in my ability to change things… not helpless, but very limited.



It’s my fault for taking the path of least resistance and going back. I’m clear on that. But I’m not clear on what the best options are for me. I’ve come up with a few ideas:

• Grit my damn teeth and bare it… basically just stay put and stack my cash to go towards the purchase or start of a business. This is becoming very difficult, I’m starting to feel resentment towards my dad and my older brother.
• Find another job with my very narrow skill set and basically do the same as the above, stack cash to buy a business. No idea what I would want to do, maybe sales.

I need some creativity for how to get out of my situation and work on something that I really want to work on. I want something of my own. Something that I can put my whole a$$ into. I don’t even care about millions at this point. I just need to know that I’m the captain of my own F*cking soul.

Hopefully I don’t come across as down or depressed, I’m actually feeling great these days. I lift weights a lot, ride my motorcycle, and have a Corgi (pictured in my avatar). But I do want to nail down my direction, and I like the creative energy I get from this forum, which is why I shared.

I went back to work for my dad at his recycling center
He took the prodigal son back

Had to move back in with my parents.
He took the prodigal son back on his darkest day

help the company
The ladies listen to us bitch and they're smarter than we are

I make $110k/year, and it’s increasing
He's paying the prodigal son 2x the national average

Basically he has me do parts of the business that he doesn’t want to do, like purchasing materials, anything with a computer, staffing
Welcome to working for someone else

I’d like to see the business grow, and become easier for the family to manage it
That's the right attitude

I want you to walk in there Monday and be the best damn employee he's ever had. You have limited time left working with your Dad, and you have a limited time left with your Dad.

 

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[Andy Black]

Mostly my approach. I had quit my job to pursue web design, so I was just burning money… basically I quit too soon. I created a really stressful situation for myself and gave up more so than failed.

Seemed like as soon as I got a little success in web design, I shifted my focus to the barbell training. Got a little success there, a growing client list who were getting stronger, and then the web design leads that were piling in before dried up. I would focus attention there and then before I knew it I was forgetting things with my fitness people. They left one by one, and I was pretty demoralized. Oh and broke. Very broke. In debt (I’ve paid it off).

I’m open to opportunity, but acquisition has great appeal to me. I’ve learned over the past year or so working my job that one of my greater strengths is improving systems that are already in place… I’m just not that creative when stating from a blank canvas. In fact I tend to make myself anxious when I try to sit around and come up with “business ideas” to execute on. I just like having some lines to color inside of.

I do have a few ideas for a fresh start up, and they all involve the recycling industry, which sadly I’m losing my taste for.

Do something on the side and build up your monthly recurring revenue till it exceeds your living expenses? That way you're slowly improving your business skills too.

 

[Strategery]

@Vigilante why do you always have to be right? I kind of figured I’d come across as a spoiled brat with this post… I like the advice though, which is why I came back. You’re not the first to call me the prodigal son lately

I don’t want to leave on bad terms. Truly I want to leave because me being there creates a problem with my older brother… basically it makes my dad less clear on how to split the company up. If working for my dad is unpleasant, working for my brother would be intolerable. But also, brother has been there much longer and has been loyal when I was impulsive. He can have the company. I would prefer it that way.

I’ll start with gratitude. I agree, I have a lot to be grateful for.

Thanks

 

[Vigilante]

@Vigilante why do you always have to be right? I kind of figured I’d come across as a spoiled brat with this post… I like the advice though, which is why I came back. You’re not the first to call me the prodigal son lately

I don’t want to leave on bad terms. Truly I want to leave because me being there creates a problem with my older brother… basically it makes my dad less clear on how to split the company up. If working for my dad is unpleasant, working for my brother would be intolerable. But also, brother has been there much longer and has been loyal when I was impulsive. He can have the company. I would prefer it that way.

I’ll start with gratitude. I agree, I have a lot to be grateful for.

Thanks

Thanks and I am glad you came back. However, I am not always right. I've made so many mistakes in my life that the least I can do is share how I have messed things up in hopes others don't. My Dad is 80. I don't have much time left. I need the last interactions to be as great as they can as I have not always done things with the right measure of respect. You still have a better chance.

 

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[fridge]

Its good that you're having the self reflection of previous business failures to move you forward. $110k/year should be more than enough to support you unless you're in a HCOL area. Your only real challenge at this point is somehow escaping the golden handcuffs.

If your sales and marketing skills are good, then jumping back into a business part time wouldn't be a bad idea. You could even try and negotiate with your dad or brother to have more time off work for lower pay once you get something off the ground. That way you have enough money to cover living expenses + an emergency fund and have the time to attend to your business.

 

[Strategery]

Your only real challenge at this point is somehow escaping the golden handcuffs.

I don’t know about my only challenge, but it certainly is a challenge. I like that phrase, golden handcuffs. Fits perfectly.

 

[Antifragile]

Here’s what I read:

I failed two companies because I chased money and didn’t solve any problems for anyone.

I then went back to my dad’s successful business and bitch about his style.

I can’t improve my father’s business because of my father and brother, not because I suck at business.

I

I

I… so yeah; it’s more than “spoiled brat” post to me. It’s a “I still don’t get it!” Post. It is not about YOU and YOUR FEELINGS.

Money is a byproduct of success. Not the other way around. How much you make is in direct proportion of how much you serve someone.

It’s like coming up to Starbucks but instead of ordering & first paying for coffee, you stand in the back pissed off. Pay the damn price.

Honestly, you should learn from your dad. How did he build his business? How can he afford to pay you 6 figures? Start there.

 

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[Strategery]

Here’s what I read:

I failed two companies because I chased money and didn’t solve any problems for anyone.

I then went back to my dad’s successful business and bitch about his style.

I can’t improve my father’s business because of my father and brother, not because I suck at business.

I

I

I… so yeah; it’s more than “spoiled brat” post to me. It’s a “I still don’t get it!” Post. It is not about YOU and YOUR FEELINGS.

Money is a byproduct of success. Not the other way around. How much you make is in direct proportion of how much you serve someone.

It’s like coming up to Starbucks but instead of ordering & first paying for coffee, you stand in the back pissed off. Pay the damn price.

Honestly, you should learn from your dad. How did he build his business? How can he afford to pay you 6 figures? Start there.

Not really sure what warrants your brow beating, but I’ll respond.

You’re right about my inexperience with business, but you’re absolutely wrong about my ability to improve dad’s business. I have improved it, for many years. Even when I was full time working on my own business, I would still help them in one way or another.

I’ve kept that business from literally burning to the ground, and improved the fire safety thereafter. I’ve broken bones there because they had refused to fix certain equipment. He has more customers because of me, due to me finding leads on my own time and from me unfucking his terrible customer service. His heavy equipment would not operate at all were it not for my efforts to start a maintenance program under my own steam. No one forced me to do extra stuff, I literally just wanted to help.

My dad knows how to make money, that’s for sure. But he has no interest whatsoever in working to make the business more turn key. No structure, no defined roles. He is married to his business. I’ve learned a lot from him, but in order to learn more I need some autonomy that he hasn’t been willing to give me.

So are you recommending I stay forever under my dad because he’s had a small amount of success? Or do you think maybe there are things that he just isn’t going to be able to teach me?

You think I’m a spoiled brat who obviously just doesn’t get it. Cool. At the end of the day I’m still the motherfcker who’s showing up for work and trying. I want more for myself, and I will get it.

 

[Antifragile]

Not really sure what warrants your brow beating, but I’ll respond.

I don’t know you yet, an outsider to your life. All I have to go on is what you write. When I read this thread, I get a feeling you are a confused soul who needs two things:
1) A cold water bucket over your heard to cool off your own frustrations.
2) Better guidance for what can make you successful in business.

The quality of questions you seem to be asking yourself is poor. You can do better. My intent is to snap you out of it. More on this later…

You’re right about my inexperience with business, but you’re absolutely wrong about my ability to improve dad’s business. I have improved it, for many years. Even when I was full time working on my own business, I would still help them in one way or another.

I’ve kept that business from literally burning to the ground, and improved the fire safety thereafter. I’ve broken bones there because they had refused to fix certain equipment. He has more customers because of me, due to me finding leads on my own time and from me unfucking his terrible customer service. His heavy equipment would not operate at all were it not for my efforts to start a maintenance program under my own steam. No one forced me to do extra stuff, I literally just wanted to help.

My dad knows how to make money, that’s for sure. But he has no interest whatsoever in working to make the business more turn key. No structure, no defined roles. He is married to his business. I’ve learned a lot from him, but in order to learn more I need some autonomy that he hasn’t been willing to give me.

Is your dad a good businessman or not? If he’s good at making money - learn that from him and don‘t stay a minute more than that.

What made you start the businesses you started? Why did they fail? What will you do differently to succeed next time?

a web design business and an online barbell coaching business going

These two are a huge red flag for me. What made you think either one could ever be “Fastlane”?

So are you recommending I stay forever under my dad because he’s had a small amount of success? Or do you think maybe there are things that he just isn’t going to be able to teach me?

Learn from your dad what works. Ignore the rest. Learn from others and your own experience how to do better. Because if you become better, the world will “conspire” to help you.

You think I’m a spoiled brat who obviously just doesn’t get it. Cool. At the end of the day I’m still the motherfcker who’s showing up for work and trying. I want more for myself, and I will get it.

I’ll quote myself for the next bit.

You need to do some thinking. Ask better questions. Plan for your next move. Have defined good GOALS.

And until then, yes, be the motherfcker who’s showing up for work!

Thread 'Things I learned and want to tell myself at “28”.'
MINDSET - Things I learned and want to tell myself at “28”.

Thread '8 Steps To Help You Plan for Business Success, a How-To Guide'
GOLD! - EXECUTION - 8 Steps To Help You Plan for Business Success, a How-To Guide

Thread 'Antifragile's take: The secret to scaling up.'
IDEA - SCALING - SUCCESS! - Antifragile's take: The secret to scaling up.

 

[heavy_industry]

After I've read the first post in this thread I wanted to make some remarks, but it seems like others have said the same things.

At the risk of being repetitive:


What concerns me the most is the fact that this entire story is solely centered on you, your wishes, your desires, your own satisfaction at work, your idealized version of life that doesn't seem to happen for one reason or another.

Business is all about providing value effectively to other people, and getting paid for it.

Your personal likes and dislikes, as well as other personal issues that you may have, are completely irrelevant from an economic standpoint. The market simply doesn't care.

So reframing this whole story and setting providing value as the main goal might help.



Another thing that has been mentioned previously: gratitude.

Do you realize that as we speak, there are people dying from starvation or thirst in this world? Meanwhile you are sitting on $100k a year in a first world country, complaining that your job is not fun.


Unless the source of this mindset will be completely changed, there is no right answer to the question of "job vs business", because both will fail - but in different ways.


I wish you all the best, and I am not saying this in bad faith, but perhaps the best course of action is to take a step back from your financial goals, look in the mirror and think about what this life is truly supposed to be about.

Good luck.

 

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[Strategery]

Do you realize that as we speak, there are people dying from starvation or thirst in this world? Meanwhile you are sitting on $100k a year in a first world country, complaining that your job is not fun.

There’s not a thing wrong with wanting to work at something that you want to do. I think you’ve misread my postings here. I’m not complaining that I’m not filthy rich.

As for the rest of what you’re saying, help me to understand if you would. Yes, this post is about me. That’s why I’m here. For self improvement. Currently, I don’t see your post as being helpful to anyone. It kind of seems like you’re just jumping on the bandwagon.

What vig and anti said has already struck a nerve with me and has me thinking. What you said after the fact seems very unnecessary.

 

[ZCP]

For many, many, many years I've stated that my Dad was the selfish one.

You just made me realize that I was the selfish one.

See, my Dad had a successful business, was hard to work for, paid me a lot of money.
I had my ideas about how to grow it and make it better. He was in charge.
I left and went off to college and continually say the story that 'I could have been a billionaire if my Dad wasn't selfish. He was in real estate and I own no real estate. he had to have it his way and died with -$38.'.

Wow. I was SO selfish. I should have helped build something bigger. I could have talked with him, instead of battling him. I could have worked harder and done more, instead of just doing the minimum and bitching. i could have gone and gotten the knowledge and connections we needed to doing something REALLY amazing.

Wow. I got my bucket of cold water to the face this morning. holy cow, what a revelation you just gifted me today.......

I wish I could do it all over and help him take advantage of that opportunity. I could have helped him and provided him value and made his life better.

I miss my Dad.

@Strategery i wish you well. come at this COMPLETELY from opposite direction. don't make the same mistake i did.
dm me if you want to do a 15 minute call this week. let's talk.

 

[heavy_industry]

What vig and anti said has already struck a nerve with me and has me thinking. What you said after the fact seems very unnecessary.

With each and every single interaction that I have on the forum, I become more aware of the inescapable fact that the life we are living is a reflection of who we really are.

I have bookmarked this thread and will use it as future reference, if I ever start to identify this behavior or mindset in my own life, and I will stop myself before it's too late.

Thank you, and good luck - you will need a lot of it.

 

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[Kevin88660]

Well, here I am again. Had some failures at business and life, licked my wounds for long enough, so it’s time to get after it again.



After failing to get a web design business and an online barbell coaching business going, I went back to work for my dad at his recycling center. I’ve never enjoyed it, because of his shitty management and shittier demeanor, but I went back because I needed money. I had a few other personal disappointments during that time, and my self-esteem was pretty low. Like rock bottom. F*cking miserable. Had to move back in with my parents. Not sure why I went back to a job I hated, maybe it’s all I felt I deserved. Well I’m getting over that shit.



In the last year I moved out again, I have a girlfriend who is pretty positively influencing me. She, for whatever reason, listens to my constant bitching about my job, and keeps encouraging me to make the job more pleasant… do more to improve it… help the company… whatever, maybe you get what I’m saying. She is well aware that I have no intention of staying there long term, but that it should be, in her eyes, the funding for any Fastlane endeavors. I make $110k/year, and it’s increasing. Not a terrible idea, except that again, I F*cking hate working for my dad. Getting up in the morning feels like a chore. I’m not sure what my job role even is, because it’s never been properly spelled out for me… and yes, I have tried on multiple occasions to have him iron it out for me, and he really doesn’t know. It makes me think of the example in E-myth Revisited, the difference between delegation and abdication. Basically he has me do parts of the business that he doesn’t want to do, like purchasing materials, anything with a computer, staffing, and either micromanages me the entire time or complains about the way that I did something. Not a fun environment. I’d like to see the business grow, and become easier for the family to manage it, but I’m really limited in my ability to change things… not helpless, but very limited.



It’s my fault for taking the path of least resistance and going back. I’m clear on that. But I’m not clear on what the best options are for me. I’ve come up with a few ideas:

• Grit my damn teeth and bare it… basically just stay put and stack my cash to go towards the purchase or start of a business. This is becoming very difficult, I’m starting to feel resentment towards my dad and my older brother.
• Find another job with my very narrow skill set and basically do the same as the above, stack cash to buy a business. No idea what I would want to do, maybe sales.

I need some creativity for how to get out of my situation and work on something that I really want to work on. I want something of my own. Something that I can put my whole a$$ into. I don’t even care about millions at this point. I just need to know that I’m the captain of my own F*cking soul.

Hopefully I don’t come across as down or depressed, I’m actually feeling great these days. I lift weights a lot, ride my motorcycle, and have a Corgi (pictured in my avatar). But I do want to nail down my direction, and I like the creative energy I get from this forum, which is why I shared.

A boomer dad with a successful business, and you went to try other businesses on your own?

I started a popular thread 2 years back about exploring ways to work with boomers to take over the business that their children have no interest in...

Your gf is smart because she smells where the money is. Why not expand and open another recycling centre? Replicate the success of the family business.

 

[ZCP]

Yep, get your girlfriend on the forum. SHE has the right mindset!

 

[Antifragile]

That’s why I’m here. For self improvement.

That’s great. And how committed do you feel you are? What are you willing to go through to get to your desired goals and objectives?

Tell me, did you have your FTE yet? Because the biggest risk is comfort and conformity. I know it sounds strange… you aren’t exactly “comfortable” and that’s why you are here. But there are different levels of comfort. And you might just be at the lower level of comfort, not quite at the FTE. Only you know the answer.

Currently, I don’t see your post as being helpful to anyone. It kind of seems like you’re just jumping on the bandwagon.

It’s the internet, but not your general Reddit bullshit. This place does have a unique and useful culture. You’ve been here long enough to know that and why you are here again!

With that, a member spends time to respond to you … even if YOU don’t find it useful, should you not have a little gratitude? For the time invested to summarize what others have said but in a different way.

Edit: Or are you here to only hear from people who’ll use kid gloves on you? If you are, you’ll lose audience quickly. But you already know exactly what I’m saying! It’s not news.

You are here because you don’t want more luck. You want the tools to create your own luck. Now how will you go about getting those? I wonder…

 

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[Strategery]

Tell me, did you have your FTE yet? Because the biggest risk is comfort and conformity. I know it sounds strange… you aren’t exactly “comfortable” and that’s why you are here. But there are different levels of comfort. And you might just be at the lower level of comfort, not quite at the FTE. Only you know the answer.

I don't think so. Many FTM's but nothing that really stands out. My opinion is very malleable here, but I never understood why it was so important for entrepreneurial success. I mean, does it mean you can never be successful without some sort of adversity? I just don't know many successful entrepreneurs outside of the Fastlane world that really talk about an FTE, or something similar. Change my mind.

With that, a member spends time to respond to you … even if YOU don’t find it useful, should you not have a little gratitude? For the time invested to summarize what others have said but in a different way.

Yeah, you got me there. I acted like a prick in response because I felt attacked. Sorry @heavy_industry , I could have worded my response in a less adversarial way.

Or are you here to only hear from people who’ll use kid gloves on you? If you are, you’ll lose audience quickly. But you already know exactly what I’m saying! It’s not news.

You are here because you don’t want more luck. You want the tools to create your own luck. Now how will you go about getting those? I wonder…

I really like your responses. They are very thought-provoking and I appreciate you.

That’s great. And how committed do you feel you are? What are you willing to go through to get to your desired goals and objectives?

I've been on this forum for a while now, and I'm not going anywhere. Even in low points, it's always on my mind, and I always return to a fastlane mindset. I think that's what real commitment looks like. Not just getting fired up about it and then quitting once the high wears off, but sustaining your effort over a long period of time, even after F*ck ups and failures.

@ZCP thanks for putting up with my shit for so long. You're a prince of a gentleman and I love you. I really look forward to talking to you

 

[Strategery]

A boomer dad with a successful business, and you went to try other businesses on your own?

Yep, why not? I guess in my mind staying in the business isn't really low-hanging fruit if I'm miserable.

Why not expand and open another recycling centre?

I might. I feel very qualified to start one on my own.

 

[Kevin88660]

Yep, why not? I guess in my mind staying in the business isn't really low-hanging fruit if I'm miserable.

I might. I feel very qualified to start one on my own.

It can allow you to tap family resources but also give you some degree of autonomy.

 

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[TeeJay_]

Recycling center? Are you aware of the opportunity to recycle clothes/fibers? That's like one of the biggest challenges out there right now (circular economy) for customers wanting things that are eco-friendly (clothing/fashion is the second most polluting industry in the world because of all the chemicals involved in dying and treating textiles).

Could be a good thing to learn the operations and apply it to a new type of industry.

 

[James Klymus]

I’ll pile on to the bandwagon here and say that you are very lucky to have your dad to fall back on. You could be working a $40k a year job in a warehouse working for some boss who doesn’t give a F*ck about you, yet you’re lucky enough to be working for the person who cares about you most in this world.

I’ll also say that it seems you need an attitude adjustment before you venture off into your next business.

From what I get in this post, You have a very “woe is me” attitude towards life, even though you essentially won the jackpot by being born in a first world country with a high paying job and the possibility of chasing self actualization , instead of survival.

Nobody wants to be around an “eeyore“, hopefully this thread helps you gain some perspective and realize how lucky you actually are.

One last thing, how did you fail a web design agency? There is plenty of demand for web design. I have a feeling you didn’t fail, you just gave up because you didn’t want to do what it took to get clients.

 

[heavy_industry]

Sorry @heavy_industry , I could have worded my response in a less adversarial way.

No problem.

What I've wanted to say with my previous post, is that (for all of us) our current life circumstances did not happen by accident.

Who you've been until this moment has created the life that you are living right now.

If you truly want to change, the first step is to become aware of this simple fact.

You don't know what you don't know. If life is not exactly the way you wanted it, chances are, there is something fundamentally wrong with your mindset and the way you see the world.

Which means that the advice that would be most useful, is the one that you least want to hear.

So I would say, try this experiment for a few months and see what happens:

• seek to provide value, before demanding it
• seek to help others
• replace entitlement with gratitude
• replace dreading going to work with a sense of responsibility
• replace your hatred with love

You will be surprised at how things will start to clear out in your mind, and you will start seeing solutions instead of problems.

 

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[DavidePaco00]

Well, here I am again. Had some failures at business and life, licked my wounds for long enough, so it’s time to get after it again.



After failing to get a web design business and an online barbell coaching business going, I went back to work for my dad at his recycling center. I’ve never enjoyed it, because of his shitty management and shittier demeanor, but I went back because I needed money. I had a few other personal disappointments during that time, and my self-esteem was pretty low. Like rock bottom. F*cking miserable. Had to move back in with my parents. Not sure why I went back to a job I hated, maybe it’s all I felt I deserved. Well I’m getting over that shit.



In the last year I moved out again, I have a girlfriend who is pretty positively influencing me. She, for whatever reason, listens to my constant bitching about my job, and keeps encouraging me to make the job more pleasant… do more to improve it… help the company… whatever, maybe you get what I’m saying. She is well aware that I have no intention of staying there long term, but that it should be, in her eyes, the funding for any Fastlane endeavors. I make $110k/year, and it’s increasing. Not a terrible idea, except that again, I F*cking hate working for my dad. Getting up in the morning feels like a chore. I’m not sure what my job role even is, because it’s never been properly spelled out for me… and yes, I have tried on multiple occasions to have him iron it out for me, and he really doesn’t know. It makes me think of the example in E-myth Revisited, the difference between delegation and abdication. Basically he has me do parts of the business that he doesn’t want to do, like purchasing materials, anything with a computer, staffing, and either micromanages me the entire time or complains about the way that I did something. Not a fun environment. I’d like to see the business grow, and become easier for the family to manage it, but I’m really limited in my ability to change things… not helpless, but very limited.



It’s my fault for taking the path of least resistance and going back. I’m clear on that. But I’m not clear on what the best options are for me. I’ve come up with a few ideas:

• Grit my damn teeth and bare it… basically just stay put and stack my cash to go towards the purchase or start of a business. This is becoming very difficult, I’m starting to feel resentment towards my dad and my older brother.
• Find another job with my very narrow skill set and basically do the same as the above, stack cash to buy a business. No idea what I would want to do, maybe sales.

I need some creativity for how to get out of my situation and work on something that I really want to work on. I want something of my own. Something that I can put my whole a$$ into. I don’t even care about millions at this point. I just need to know that I’m the captain of my own F*cking soul.

Hopefully I don’t come across as down or depressed, I’m actually feeling great these days. I lift weights a lot, ride my motorcycle, and have a Corgi (pictured in my avatar). But I do want to nail down my direction, and I like the creative energy I get from this forum, which is why I shared.

Are You really sure that changing job is going to change your mental state? Managing a business comes out with many responsabilities and hard stuff to do , it' s not only about " make the product, print the money".

In my opinion the most imporant thing to be happy in life in accepting where You are, I know it sound easy, but trust me, there are millions of people out there who would pay to make as much money as you do.

If you feel exhausted, ask your dad to take a break , travel a little, try new hobbies.

Thta doesn't mean that you should ditch you business pursuit. At least, dedicate a least one aour a day to it,while you work at your dad business ( ou hould have plenty of free time if you have a desk job), then , when the business it's profitable enough, try to work less , see if you can do a part time job, and continue with your business.

Hope that can make sense,

Davide

 

[Antifragile]

I don't think so. Many FTM's but nothing that really stands out. My opinion is very malleable here, but I never understood why it was so important for entrepreneurial success. I mean, does it mean you can never be successful without some sort of adversity? I just don't know many successful entrepreneurs outside of the Fastlane world that really talk about an FTE, or something similar.

How many successful entrepreneurs do you know in real life? How many of them are willing to tell you about their failures? Who is close enough to you to open up?

Change my mind.

Again, the point of my replies is to snap you out of thinking in reverse. You wand me to change YOUR mind? Because YOU don’t know that many entrepreneurs who had an FTE?

No thanks, I am going back to enjoying my coffee…

Do you see how your message reads? Could it be that the reason you struggle taking over with your dad, brother and your own businesses is that your mindset needs to change? FTE or not, whatever you‘ve done didn’t work. Is it time for a real change?

If so, what is it?

That’s why FTE is often the trigger for people. It’s rock bottom, people become ready to accept change. Do you need it? Do you feel you are ready to change YOURSELF? Your mindset?

Yeah, you got me there. I acted like a prick in response because I felt attacked. Sorry @heavy_industry , I could have worded my response in a less adversarial way.

Good to see this response. Good on you.

I really like your responses. They are very thought-provoking and I appreciate you.

Thanks for saying this.

I've been on this forum for a while now, and I'm not going anywhere. Even in low points, it's always on my mind, and I always return to a fastlane mindset. I think that's what real commitment looks like. Not just getting fired up about it and then quitting once the high wears off, but sustaining your effort over a long period of time, even after F*ck ups and failures.

Showing up is not enough. Hope you got that from my messages above. You’ll need to do 10x that to get to success. Worse yet, you’ll need to stop running east looking for sunset. Direction must be correct, direction of your thoughts and actions…