New job or stay put?

[Guest-5ty5s4]

For many, many, many years I've stated that my Dad was the selfish one.

You just made me realize that I was the selfish one.

See, my Dad had a successful business, was hard to work for, paid me a lot of money.
I had my ideas about how to grow it and make it better. He was in charge.
I left and went off to college and continually say the story that 'I could have been a billionaire if my Dad wasn't selfish. He was in real estate and I own no real estate. he had to have it his way and died with -$38.'.

Wow. I was SO selfish. I should have helped build something bigger. I could have talked with him, instead of battling him. I could have worked harder and done more, instead of just doing the minimum and bitching. i could have gone and gotten the knowledge and connections we needed to doing something REALLY amazing.

Wow. I got my bucket of cold water to the face this morning. holy cow, what a revelation you just gifted me today.......

I wish I could do it all over and help him take advantage of that opportunity. I could have helped him and provided him value and made his life better.

I miss my Dad.

@Strategery i wish you well. come at this COMPLETELY from opposite direction. don't make the same mistake i did.
dm me if you want to do a 15 minute call this week. let's talk.

Wow. What an amazing post, ZCP. Very similar situation here, as you know from our calls and talks. You only get one Dad! Working with mine is difficult but I love him and am so lucky to do so.

That’s great. And how committed do you feel you are? What are you willing to go through to get to your desired goals and objectives?

Tell me, did you have your FTE yet? Because the biggest risk is comfort and conformity. I know it sounds strange… you aren’t exactly “comfortable” and that’s why you are here. But there are different levels of comfort. And you might just be at the lower level of comfort, not quite at the FTE. Only you know the answer.




It’s the internet, but not your general Reddit bullshit. This place does have a unique and useful culture. You’ve been here long enough to know that and why you are here again!

With that, a member spends time to respond to you … even if YOU don’t find it useful, should you not have a little gratitude? For the time invested to summarize what others have said but in a different way.

Edit: Or are you here to only hear from people who’ll use kid gloves on you? If you are, you’ll lose audience quickly. But you already know exactly what I’m saying! It’s not news.

You are here because you don’t want more luck. You want the tools to create your own luck. Now how will you go about getting those? I wonder…

Couldn't agree more. The FTE part is a big one. One thing I often wonder though from the books is if waiting and waiting for an FTE is more of an external locus of control rather than taking action from an internal locust of control. What I mean - if the job is just comfortable enough, perhaps you are never going to have the FTE! So does that mean entrepreneurship isn't for OP because his situation is "too good?" I would say no. The FTE might not be a required step. It has been years since I've read TMFL so MJ might have said the same thing (FTE not a requirement), can't remember.

 

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[Antifragile]

Couldn't agree more. The FTE part is a big one. One thing I often wonder though from the books is if waiting and waiting for an FTE is more of an external locus of control rather than taking action from an internal locust of control. What I mean - if the job is just comfortable enough, perhaps you are never going to have the FTE! So does that mean entrepreneurship isn't for OP because his situation is "too good?" I would say no. The FTE might not be a required step. It has been years since I've read TMFL so MJ might have said the same thing (FTE not a requirement), can't remember.

Exactly, it is 100% external locust of control and many people don’t need an FTE at all. But those who do… they really do, don’t they?

 

[Kak]

@Strategery the way I read this is a bit of thanklessness.

I lost my dad when I was 19. I’d give anything to spend time with him again. He was my best friend in the world and an incredible dad.

Ex: What does he like to do? Golf? Fishing?

Spend some of that 100k a year on a ballin golf trip to Scotland or Fishing trip to Alaska for you and him.

Pick his brain. Become his go to guy. As a father myself now, I dream of the day my son becomes a man of responsibility and thankfulness. Shoulder some additional responsibilities for free, learn to be a master value creator.

THEN, AFTER you have proven yourself incredibly useful, you have the skill set to:

1. Go off on your own and do something way cooler than web design.

Or

2. Ask to take the helm of your father’s company with his confidence that you will do a great job and a financial arrangement that makes you not want to take option 1.

 

[Guest-5ty5s4]

Well, here I am again. Had some failures at business and life, licked my wounds for long enough, so it’s time to get after it again.



After failing to get a web design business and an online barbell coaching business going, I went back to work for my dad at his recycling center. I’ve never enjoyed it, because of his shitty management and shittier demeanor, but I went back because I needed money. I had a few other personal disappointments during that time, and my self-esteem was pretty low. Like rock bottom. F*cking miserable. Had to move back in with my parents. Not sure why I went back to a job I hated, maybe it’s all I felt I deserved. Well I’m getting over that shit.



In the last year I moved out again, I have a girlfriend who is pretty positively influencing me. She, for whatever reason, listens to my constant bitching about my job, and keeps encouraging me to make the job more pleasant… do more to improve it… help the company… whatever, maybe you get what I’m saying. She is well aware that I have no intention of staying there long term, but that it should be, in her eyes, the funding for any Fastlane endeavors. I make $110k/year, and it’s increasing. Not a terrible idea, except that again, I F*cking hate working for my dad. Getting up in the morning feels like a chore. I’m not sure what my job role even is, because it’s never been properly spelled out for me… and yes, I have tried on multiple occasions to have him iron it out for me, and he really doesn’t know. It makes me think of the example in E-myth Revisited, the difference between delegation and abdication. Basically he has me do parts of the business that he doesn’t want to do, like purchasing materials, anything with a computer, staffing, and either micromanages me the entire time or complains about the way that I did something. Not a fun environment. I’d like to see the business grow, and become easier for the family to manage it, but I’m really limited in my ability to change things… not helpless, but very limited.



It’s my fault for taking the path of least resistance and going back. I’m clear on that. But I’m not clear on what the best options are for me. I’ve come up with a few ideas:

• Grit my damn teeth and bare it… basically just stay put and stack my cash to go towards the purchase or start of a business. This is becoming very difficult, I’m starting to feel resentment towards my dad and my older brother.
• Find another job with my very narrow skill set and basically do the same as the above, stack cash to buy a business. No idea what I would want to do, maybe sales.

I need some creativity for how to get out of my situation and work on something that I really want to work on. I want something of my own. Something that I can put my whole a$$ into. I don’t even care about millions at this point. I just need to know that I’m the captain of my own F*cking soul.

Hopefully I don’t come across as down or depressed, I’m actually feeling great these days. I lift weights a lot, ride my motorcycle, and have a Corgi (pictured in my avatar). But I do want to nail down my direction, and I like the creative energy I get from this forum, which is why I shared.

Dude, you sound like you're living my life. We are almost the same person. I made the same post on INSIDERS a couple years ago, and a few months ago I emailed support at the forum to delete my post because I realized how whiny and ungrateful it sounded (no offense - I'm really talking about my post complaining about my job at my family's business - which I'm actually incredibly grateful for - and yes, has no specific role, like yours! Which is a GOOD thing)...

The truth is that you are in the best position ever to go fastlane. You are learning about business firsthand, you are gaining experience anyone on this forum would die for, and you are making a tremendously high salary (if you are young) without having to beg and fight for internships (like most youngsters did out of school). Sock the money away as much as you can to put towards your investments/education/fastlane ventures. Keep learning and doing.

 

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