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Well, here I am again. Had some failures at business and life, licked my wounds for long enough, so it’s time to get after it again.
After failing to get a web design business and an online barbell coaching business going, I went back to work for my dad at his recycling center. I’ve never enjoyed it, because of his shitty management and shittier demeanor, but I went back because I needed money. I had a few other personal disappointments during that time, and my self-esteem was pretty low. Like rock bottom. F*cking miserable. Had to move back in with my parents. Not sure why I went back to a job I hated, maybe it’s all I felt I deserved. Well I’m getting over that shit.
In the last year I moved out again, I have a girlfriend who is pretty positively influencing me. She, for whatever reason, listens to my constant bitching about my job, and keeps encouraging me to make the job more pleasant… do more to improve it… help the company… whatever, maybe you get what I’m saying. She is well aware that I have no intention of staying there long term, but that it should be, in her eyes, the funding for any Fastlane endeavors. I make $110k/year, and it’s increasing. Not a terrible idea, except that again, I F*cking hate working for my dad. Getting up in the morning feels like a chore. I’m not sure what my job role even is, because it’s never been properly spelled out for me… and yes, I have tried on multiple occasions to have him iron it out for me, and he really doesn’t know. It makes me think of the example in E-myth Revisited, the difference between delegation and abdication. Basically he has me do parts of the business that he doesn’t want to do, like purchasing materials, anything with a computer, staffing, and either micromanages me the entire time or complains about the way that I did something. Not a fun environment. I’d like to see the business grow, and become easier for the family to manage it, but I’m really limited in my ability to change things… not helpless, but very limited.
It’s my fault for taking the path of least resistance and going back. I’m clear on that. But I’m not clear on what the best options are for me. I’ve come up with a few ideas:
I need some creativity for how to get out of my situation and work on something that I really want to work on. I want something of my own. Something that I can put my whole a$$ into. I don’t even care about millions at this point. I just need to know that I’m the captain of my own F*cking soul.
Hopefully I don’t come across as down or depressed, I’m actually feeling great these days. I lift weights a lot, ride my motorcycle, and have a Corgi (pictured in my avatar). But I do want to nail down my direction, and I like the creative energy I get from this forum, which is why I shared.
After failing to get a web design business and an online barbell coaching business going, I went back to work for my dad at his recycling center. I’ve never enjoyed it, because of his shitty management and shittier demeanor, but I went back because I needed money. I had a few other personal disappointments during that time, and my self-esteem was pretty low. Like rock bottom. F*cking miserable. Had to move back in with my parents. Not sure why I went back to a job I hated, maybe it’s all I felt I deserved. Well I’m getting over that shit.
In the last year I moved out again, I have a girlfriend who is pretty positively influencing me. She, for whatever reason, listens to my constant bitching about my job, and keeps encouraging me to make the job more pleasant… do more to improve it… help the company… whatever, maybe you get what I’m saying. She is well aware that I have no intention of staying there long term, but that it should be, in her eyes, the funding for any Fastlane endeavors. I make $110k/year, and it’s increasing. Not a terrible idea, except that again, I F*cking hate working for my dad. Getting up in the morning feels like a chore. I’m not sure what my job role even is, because it’s never been properly spelled out for me… and yes, I have tried on multiple occasions to have him iron it out for me, and he really doesn’t know. It makes me think of the example in E-myth Revisited, the difference between delegation and abdication. Basically he has me do parts of the business that he doesn’t want to do, like purchasing materials, anything with a computer, staffing, and either micromanages me the entire time or complains about the way that I did something. Not a fun environment. I’d like to see the business grow, and become easier for the family to manage it, but I’m really limited in my ability to change things… not helpless, but very limited.
It’s my fault for taking the path of least resistance and going back. I’m clear on that. But I’m not clear on what the best options are for me. I’ve come up with a few ideas:
- Grit my damn teeth and bare it… basically just stay put and stack my cash to go towards the purchase or start of a business. This is becoming very difficult, I’m starting to feel resentment towards my dad and my older brother.
- Find another job with my very narrow skill set and basically do the same as the above, stack cash to buy a business. No idea what I would want to do, maybe sales.
I need some creativity for how to get out of my situation and work on something that I really want to work on. I want something of my own. Something that I can put my whole a$$ into. I don’t even care about millions at this point. I just need to know that I’m the captain of my own F*cking soul.
Hopefully I don’t come across as down or depressed, I’m actually feeling great these days. I lift weights a lot, ride my motorcycle, and have a Corgi (pictured in my avatar). But I do want to nail down my direction, and I like the creative energy I get from this forum, which is why I shared.
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