MTF needs a slumpbuster: Too many swings, no hits.

[maverick]

tl;dr

Did anything interesting happen in the end here?

 

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[MTF]

tl;dr

Did anything interesting happen in the end here?

No, nothing interesting happened here and this is all my fault.

There was a lot of good advice posted for people who are struggling with the business part of things so I hope at least that was useful.

But if your mental state sucks, then any business you start will be destined to fail which is why I haven't taken any action. There's no point as I'll just sabotage myself sooner or later.

 

[maverick]

Swing and miss. Swing and miss. Swing and miss. Until you finally hit it.

Don't let your demons win.

 

[Brass Pockets]

I completely lost any belief in my business skills. I feel like all the success I have I owe just to luck and the right timing. Without it, I'd be nothing.

These days, I'm just a cynical hypocrite. Friends ask me for business advice but honestly what the F*ck do I know? Just the shit I read online since I've been unable to make any business work for the past 4 years.

I just can't find any energy anymore to keep trying to figure it out. Little things overwhelm me. I've lost that resolve and the entrepreneurial spirit of figuring things out.

Not sure what to do about it other than rant since trying just doesn't work and leads to even more failure and disappointment.

Good for you for recognising where your at and reaching out

Ive been a bit of a ghost of late on here as i too have reached a point of WTF and stepped back a bit, lots going on and simply cant get off the ground in any meaningful way:

• Trying to get my degree finished
• Exiting a 3yr bricks and mortar business - finally there this month!
• Learning more about my way forward - web design/online business owner (not as a doer)
• Finally deciding on a marketing approach - information overload, as Andy Black says JUST START SOMETHING
• Managing a day job that pays well yet isnt fulfilling me
• ...and family life too with all that goes with it, no house repairs though, cant be bothered lol

Importantly i have created an email address and put all the people i follow into it as felt i was over educated, ive accessed it twice since i did that and the patterns between these people is incredible when you look at them in isolation

Its all about recognising a form of burnout i guess, im stepping back till the end of May then i will get going again as most of my crap will be out of the way by then

Still bought a couple of courses for online stuff i havent finished (that was 4 months ago) but my heads not into them fully, thats a classic stress sign as i struggle to retain knowledge, maybe im just old

Go do something you enjoy and remember why you enjoy it, and if you can do it with family and friends so much the better

I have dropped back into my hobby and its good, different but good

Your not alone in this

 

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[Black_Dragon43]

But if your mental state sucks, then any business you start will be destined to fail which is why I haven't taken any action. There's no point as I'll just sabotage myself sooner or later.

I think you may be afflicted by a fantasy of what success is like. I would not describe my mental state as worth envying — and yet most people on here would envy my success.

You can succeed and still feel negatively. I do that every day. You don’t need to feel good to be successful. Your life doesn’t have to be peaceful to be successful. You don’t have to feel safe and excited to succeed. You can feel depressed, anxious, angry and still succeed if you just do the right things.

So I think this is just another excuse. My mental state sucks, and I accept it. Therefore it’s not a barrier to my success. Actually, it’s the key to success — I believe that positive people who feel good all the time are not as driven as I am, nor as capable as I am to push through difficulties. Normal people are not paranoid like me, and hence they don’t plan for diverse contingencies, whereas the more successful I am, the more scared and worried I am that I will lose that success. Therefore I am more likely to hold onto it than those airy fairy people who believe it’s all sunshine and rainbows.

F*ck the gurus and positivity — listen to your own darkness instead. Stop denying yourself and cursing your own nature. Admit you’re not like them, and thank the Lord you’re not. Be you. The key to progress is there.

 

[MTF]

I think you may be afflicted by a fantasy of what success is like. I would not describe my mental state as worth envying — and yet most people on here would envy my success.

You can succeed and still feel negatively. I do that every day. You don’t need to feel good to be successful. Your life doesn’t have to be peaceful to be successful. You don’t have to feel safe and excited to succeed. You can feel depressed, anxious, angry and still succeed if you just do the right things.

So I think this is just another excuse. My mental state sucks, and I accept it. Therefore it’s not a barrier to my success. Actually, it’s the key to success — I believe that positive people who feel good all the time are not as driven as I am, nor as capable as I am to push through difficulties. Normal people are not paranoid like me, and hence they don’t plan for diverse contingencies, whereas the more successful I am, the more scared and worried I am that I will lose that success. Therefore I am more likely to hold onto it than those airy fairy people who believe it’s all sunshine and rainbows.

F*ck the gurus and positivity — listen to your own darkness instead. Stop denying yourself and cursing your own nature. Admit you’re not like them, and thank the Lord you’re not. Be you. The key to progress is there.

Do you feel like a worthless piece of shit, hate yourself, and don't want to do anything productive and just rot?

If so, how can you expect to accomplish anything in a state where you exude self-doubt and pessimism? How can any client trust you're going to deliver good work? How can you do anything well? How can you interact with your employees and not be a giant red flag that the ship is about to sink?

If not, then maybe your mental state is negative indeed but with a positive or at least neutral impact on your performance. I know that in my state it would be ridiculous to start anything serious as I would just end up wasting people's time like many times before.

 

[Primeperiwinkle]

I rally think you'd benefit from an EMDR therapist. They don't make you talk about your life. It's the most relaxing type of therapy ever. And it's effective.

EMDR Therapy: What It Is, Procedure & Effectiveness

Eye movement desensitization and reprocessing (EMDR) therapy is a treatment for conditions involving traumatic memories. It’s best known for its use in treating post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD).

my.clevelandclinic.org

 

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[Black_Dragon43]

Do you feel like a worthless piece of shit, hate yourself, and don't want to do anything productive and just rot?

Yes, I feel I’m not capable of achieving anything great and I’m always in fear of impending failure.

If so, how can you expect to accomplish anything in a state where you exude self-doubt and pessimism?

Because achieving something has little to do with what you think and a lot to do with what you actually do. I can think I’m incapable and I will fail, but if I do the right things I can succeed.

How can any client trust you're going to deliver good work?

Why do you need to communicate your emotional feelings to your client? You’re a professional. An actor doesn’t need to “feel it” to put on a good show. He just does his job. Same with a salesperson. A salesperson is nothing more than an actor.

How can you interact with your employees and not be a giant red flag that the ship is about to sink?

I don’t often interact with employees, unless they’re working on things that I am working on. There’s basically 3 people or so from the business that I actively interact with on say a daily or almost daily basis and they handle everything and everyone else. I purposefully do NOT want to interact for precisely such reasons. Although, once again, if need be, you put on a good show. If the need arises, I can give very inspiring speeches — even as a kid I had this gift of public speaking. Doesn’t mean that that’s how I feel inside — it’s just a show.

I know that in my state it would be ridiculous to start anything serious as I would just end up wasting people's time like many times before.

But wasting people’s time has nothing to do with how you feel and everything to do with how you act. If I promise something, I will do that thing no matter what — it doesn’t even matter how I feel. I remember you saying the same thing back when you were working with Fox. Why has that changed?

 

[biophase]

Do you feel like a worthless piece of shit, hate yourself, and don't want to do anything productive and just rot?

I don’t know how comparable this is, but I was sick the past 2 weeks where I just laid on the sofa and watched tv.

During that time I didn’t feel like doing anything and was essentially worthless from a productivity stand point.

If so, how can you expect to accomplish anything in a state where you exude self-doubt and pessimism? How can any client trust you're going to deliver good work? How can you do anything well? How can you interact with your employees and not be a giant red flag that the ship is about to sink?

But you I want to know what I did every day? I sucked it up and took my dog to the dog park for at least 15 minutes each day. Even when it was cold and windy. I stood there and tossed the ball for 15 minutes.

Then I came home and laid on the couch and watched TV again.

So why was the dog park the only thing that I could muster the energy for? It is because it wasn’t for me, it was for my dog. I didn’t want her to be stuck inside at home for two weeks without going outside. Now I didn’t have the energy to take her for a walk, but I had enough energy to toss the ball in at least let her run around.

My point is that even if you are in a shitty state, you will get things done if they aren’t being done for yourself.

Maybe you just have to reframe in your mind why you are starting a business.

 

[Mr. Tycoon]

I would guess that if you decide to become a skilled plumber and start your own business, learn something about digital marketing and just show up long enough, your odds of failure are slim and you will become a multi-millionaire within 20 years. Now does that sound exciting?

who the f@ck would willingly endure a 20-year struggle, only to achieve the modest status of being a millionaire (a middle class status in 2024).

Let's say someone wants to start a business with an almost guaranteed success rate. I would guess that if you decide to become a skilled plumber and start your own business, learn something about digital marketing and just show up long enough, your odds of failure are slim and you will become a multi-millionaire within 20 years. Now does that sound exciting?

 

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[JordanK]

Just read through the entire thread and boy is there some gold here.

That being said, the one thing that jumped out to me that I'm surprised nobody mentioned was your excuse for not wanting to have a physical business in Poland. If Poland and NATO become involved in this war I think having a physical or digital business would be the least of any of our concerns. Yes, hedge for these things by not having all your eggs in one basket or having a few assets held overseas but to dismiss starting a physical business entirely, for this reason seems bizarre to me. It sounds somewhat similar to when an employee says they don't want to start a business because the economy could collapse/a pandemic could shut us all down again/ insert black swan event here. Yes, all those concerns are valid but being an entrepreneur is about taking calculated risks and hedging against downside.

You also mentioned in that post about not wanting to be drafted and having a plan to leave the country. I find that mindset a bit bizarre too and it plays in to what you've mentioned and others too about finding your purpose and what you care about. If you care about nothing then you will find meaning in absolutely nothing you set out to do. There is no strategy, hack or words of advice that can be posted here that will change that. You just gotta figure it out for yourself.

And just to clarify, yes, there is something to be said for wanting to avoid being deployed overseas by elites to die in a war not of your own making, started for dodgy reasons and to no benefit of you or anyone you know. It's another thing to recognize that yes I dislike my government, yes a bunch of people in my country suck but if someone decides to come to invade my hometown, with my family and my people. I will take a stand against that.

"Those who stand for nothing, fall for anything" - Alexander Hamilton.

And again, I am just using this as an example. People have complicated relationships with countries, allegiances and beliefs. It was just to highlight that everything you have posted in this thread has been in opposition to taking a stand or responsibility for anything.

As @biophase mentioned doing something for the betterment of his dog. Some people find purpose in helping their kids, their country etc... the posts in this thread come across like a teenager who is only going through the questioning of the world phase. And I do have a lot of sympathy for you as I went through a six month period of 'weirdness' too when I finally got out of financial survival mode, got a little comfortable and had to decide what the next phase in my life would be! You'll get there!

 

[Kak]

Do you feel like a worthless piece of shit, hate yourself, and don't want to do anything productive and just rot?

If so, how can you expect to accomplish anything in a state where you exude self-doubt and pessimism? How can any client trust you're going to deliver good work? How can you do anything well? How can you interact with your employees and not be a giant red flag that the ship is about to sink?

If not, then maybe your mental state is negative indeed but with a positive or at least neutral impact on your performance. I know that in my state it would be ridiculous to start anything serious as I would just end up wasting people's time like many times before.

With posts like this, I'm very sure more money isn't going to help much.

Look, you already have enough money where you have trouble giving a crap about anything. You're a minimalist. I'm not even some spendy guy, but I probably regularly spend more money in a day than you are willing to in a month. You could live the ultra minimalist life forever. (You really are the hardest core minimalist I've ever met.)

My question to you is... Why? Why chase something you don't like? You flat out don't like business. It scares you, inconveniences you, exhausts you and angers you. What's the point? You can't buy more nothing. You can't buy less responsibilities than you have.

A true business guy looks at every business and wants to do their best with it and understands no matter what market it's serving, a properly structured, value producing, business demands simillar things of its owner/leader. All things you don't want in your life.

Again, it comes back to my first post in this thread. The "I don't want to" statements.

"I don't want to" is a luxury that you have. And I think you really "don't want to do" business. It doesn't do anything for you. That's OK.

Doing what you actually want to do might help a little... but I still think that is a pretty shallow bucket as @biophase alluded to. When motivation is in short supply, responsibility picks us up off our asses. Something you have avoided like the plague.

I mean this with respect... You're not a business guy. You're a retired hippie author.

 

[Antifragile]

Do you feel like a worthless piece of shit, hate yourself, and don't want to do anything productive and just rot?

If so, how can you expect to accomplish anything in a state where you exude self-doubt and pessimism? How can any client trust you're going to deliver good work? How can you do anything well? How can you interact with your employees and not be a giant red flag that the ship is about to sink?

Not sure who needs to hear this…

When you take a lot of swings & keep getting misses, mood goes to shit, energy gets depleted.
Before you know it, yeah, it’s not hard to get into feeling worthless. When at that bottom, it’s hard being productive.

Scratch that, it’s hard everything. Even hobbies that seemed like super fun before can look like too much effort.

Humans need small wins to feel good. It doesn’t matter what, just better than before.

And BUSINESS is that crazy roller coaster of emotions. Everything is amplified. Downs are profoundly crushing, highs are euphoric.

You go for something big, you miss and regret, defeatism hits you like a ton of bricks. “Why even F*cking bother?”crosses your mind. But if you get some mojo back - try again, then again and again, then boom a little win! It feels like someone turns on light in a dark room. It feels like morning sun after a week of shit weather, gloomy rain etc. That spring in the step thinking “yeah, I F*cking got this now, I always knew I could” but you didn’t. Just moments ago you felt defeated! It all disappears and appears.

I’ve never had it easy in business. Lately I think that those who claim ‘easy’ are lying, that everyone faced a lot of hard. And the difference between those who make it is that they hang on longer than those who don’t. They try more things and get those little and big wins just often enough to keep going.

After a decade or two, maybe it’s brain scar tissue that numbs some of the lows enough not shrug them yet the highs tend to stay high.

@MTF I can see how having “retired” and having not had any wins is F*cking with your brain. I’ve said it in this thread once already, I don’t think your “misses” are your fault when your specific work… odds are just against wins. But stacking misses on top of each other is indeed depressing as F*ck. I’d know... So you just need a few wins.

Catch-22: can’t win without trying, can’t ry without a win to lift you up.

No idea what you can do from here. But I know it’s all just in your head, so theoretically, you should be able to just change your mind.

P.S. @biophase example of doing it for others is great. I relate with my kid, I can be sick, exhausted whatever… if my kiddo needs me, I’ll stay up all night and it’ll be just fine.

 

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[MitchC]

Can't believe I'm posting linkedin style cringe here but it is relevant

Picking a business where your work on your good days compounds and keeps working for you on your off days

Having employees etc to keep it running and keep you motivated

Having a strong why

People are highlighting it now but I asked earlier in the thread why do you want to do this

Maybe wanting 3 different houses so you don't have to stay in Airbnbs isn't strong enough, quite frankly it sounds ridiculous

I'd take the inconvenience of Airbnb over starting a business strong enough to buy 3 $1m homes and then having to manage and upkeep them all

 

[Kak]

I want to echo what both @Antifragile and @Black_Dragon43 have said here...

Business can really wreck your mental state if you let it. It's not sunshine and unicorns for me either. I mentally struggle over losing battles, frustrating setbacks, and uninspiring wins almost constantly. There is no relief from it either because once you solve or settle one thing, it's on to the next.

I could very easily slip into some seriously ugly mindsets and attitudes. For me it's not about staying positive or any stupid new agey things people tout. It's just my responsibility and I deal with it. When I solve it, it creates a new lesson that makes me stronger to tackle the next problem.

Not a single successful business person I know had it easy. Any entrepreneur could, if not careful, spiral into a depressive mindset.

God help DJ Kalhed if "all I do is win" isn't bs. If all someone does is win, they have learned very little and on a long enough timeline are absolutely screwed.

 

[Andy Black]

Last year we created landing pages and Google Ads campaigns for 30+ different carpet cleaning businesses in the US, subcontracting to an agency.

Every last one of them churned - because they weren't getting good enough results.

I could have beat myself up, except:

1) They might not have churned if I had a direct relationship with the clients and structured the deal differently with each.

2) I've campaigns working great for a carpet cleaning friend in the UK.

3) We're getting 6,500+ 3c clicks a day for a different client who's delighted we're smashing Q1 targets.

4) We've other delighted clients.


If I didn't have other wins going on at the same time I might have felt low mentally. I might have felt I need to get out of whatever I'm doing and switch to something else.

If I switched to something else and didn't get any wins (quickly or otherwise) then maybe I'd question my abilities and myself.


I deliberately go for quick wins @MTF. I've mentioned this already and I think you've agreed it's helpful but I just want to back up what @Kak and @Antifragile have said.

I started a new personal project a couple of weeks ago.

I want to see if I can grow an email list/newsletter with Google Ads, and make it self-liquidating so immediate revenue covers ad spend and I'm effectively growing the list for free.

I broke it down into steps and milestones.

1) Can I get ads to even show? The first domain I tried seems to have issues and all ads were disapproved. We switched to another domain I have and started getting impressions. Time for a wee fist-pump.

2) We started getting clicks with 50c bids. CPCs were way higher than I wanted but new milestone achieved. Another moment nodding to myself.

3) We had search results on the landing page and I'm supposed to get a bit of revenue if people click through and take action. Apparently no-one clicked through. Dammit. I don't believe the vendor's stats so switched after a few days.

4) Switched to a lead capture page and immediately started getting email signups. Woo-hoo. That's a step in the right direction. They're not added to an email list yet, and I've no revenue, but the little email capture machine is setup and working. 25+ visitors a day for 18c each and €5/day spend. Simple landing page with headline, sub-heading, button. 4-8 email signups a day, just ending up as rows in a Google Sheet.


Next steps:

Add Sparkloop newsletter referrals as the final step after signing up.

Get a first bit of revenue from someone signing up to another newsletter.

Get emails automatically added from Google Sheets to an email service provider.

Send a first email automatically.

Get a first email opened.

Get a first click of something in an email.

Get a first Like or Comment on a social media post I sent an email about.


Each of these are little wins @MTF. I'm deliberately focused on solving one problem in a day or two, and I feel I'm making progress by solving them one at a time.

They're also meaningful steps, that are a cause for a mini celebration.


Whenever I read your new projects @MTF, I always pop in and try to nudge you towards making faster progress. Your steps always seem along the lines of "let's spend 3 months creating 100 articles and then hopefully X will be achieved".

No wonder that's getting you down.

Consider this:

We make progress by putting one foot in front of the other.

Every. Single. Day.

We make progress by solving the problem directly in front of us.

Problems are actually stepping stones in our path. We overcome them them one at a time, and that's how we progress on our journey.

Realise that, if you're still talking about the same problem a month later then you're STUCK.

 

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[Black_Dragon43]

God help DJ Kalhed if "all I do is win" isn't bs. If all someone does is win, they have learned very little and on a long enough timeline are absolutely screwed.

Damn, I remember DJ Khaled from when I was a teen. Such a beast with those big cigars, hot ladies, fast cars and lighting up da cash on fire

 

[MTF]

Why do you need to communicate your emotional feelings to your client? You’re a professional. An actor doesn’t need to “feel it” to put on a good show. He just does his job. Same with a salesperson. A salesperson is nothing more than an actor.

I don't mean deliberately showing this. I mean it'll be somehow visible anyway, as if something is off with you. But now that you said this about being an actor, that's a good point and I agree with it.

But wasting people’s time has nothing to do with how you feel and everything to do with how you act. If I promise something, I will do that thing no matter what — it doesn’t even matter how I feel. I remember you saying the same thing back when you were working with Fox. Why has that changed?

Yes, I would do that thing no matter what as well. Why has that changed? No idea, just life happened. It may be some kind of a very early midlife crisis. Failures stack up, disappointments rack up, and eventually you conduct your life under a giant pile of shit.

Edit, responding to this as well:

Because achieving something has little to do with what you think and a lot to do with what you actually do. I can think I’m incapable and I will fail, but if I do the right things I can succeed.

It depends on the area of life. In sports, your mental attitude has a huge impact on what you can do. If I doubt I can dive to 30 meters, I won't reach it. Subconsciously I'll sabotage myself in some way that will translate into the physical world.

 

[Black_Dragon43]

Last year we created landing pages and Google Ads campaigns for 30+ different carpet cleaning businesses in the US, subcontracting to an agency.

Every last one of them churned - because they weren't getting good enough results.

In your case @Andy Black I think you need to learn which kinds of businesses your strategies work for and focus just on those. Figure out what your successful clients have in common. For example, I can tell you that your landing page strategy doesn’t work to generate leads at a decent cost for my niche — I’ve tried it. But I have no doubt there are niches where it does work. What are those niches?

I think emergency services are one of them. Your basement just got flooded and you need someone to take out the water and do repairs kinda thing.

Didn’t work for carpet cleaners because they’re not an emergency service. They’re a “nice to have” not a “MUST HAVE NOW!”

 

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[Black_Dragon43]

It depends on the area of life. In sports, your mental attitude has a huge impact on what you can do. If I doubt I can dive to 30 meters, I won't reach it. Subconsciously I'll sabotage myself in some way that will translate into the physical world.

This is an interesting one. I do think mindset has a much bigger impact in sports, but still I find it very hard to control. It’s true that if I feel confident, strong bla bla, then I can easily lift a lot more with a lot more verve than if I feel like I hate doing it.

But… putting myself in that state isn’t something that I can count on. I may be in that state, but if I’m not, then what can I do? I haven’t found a way to control it.

 

[Andy Black]

In your case @Andy Black I think you need to learn which kinds of businesses your strategies work for and focus just on those. Figure out what your successful clients have in common. For example, I can tell you that your landing page strategy doesn’t work to generate leads at a decent cost for my niche — I’ve tried it. But I have no doubt there are niches where it does work. What are those niches?

I think emergency services are one of them. Your basement just got flooded and you need someone to take out the water and do repairs kinda thing.

Didn’t work for carpet cleaners because they’re not an emergency service. They’re a “nice to have” not a “MUST HAVE NOW!”

True, except it can work for non-emergency services in the UK, and the deal wasn't how I'd normally do them for those US clients.

And it's working a treat for email signups, and did so years ago to the tune of 15k signups a day.

It definitely does well for emergency services, and we've had great results for water damage restoration, emergency plumbers, etc.

I agree I should stay focused on where it works like gangbusters.

 

[MTF]

My point is that even if you are in a shitty state, you will get things done if they aren’t being done for yourself.

Maybe you just have to reframe in your mind why you are starting a business.

I agree with that and I'm the same way. I would not disappoint a dog or any human being if I'm responsible for taking care of them. I'll add this quote below as well and respond to both you and one of @JordanK's points:

And again, I am just using this as an example. People have complicated relationships with countries, allegiances and beliefs. It was just to highlight that everything you have posted in this thread has been in opposition to taking a stand or responsibility for anything.

As @biophase mentioned doing something for the betterment of his dog. Some people find purpose in helping their kids, their country etc... the posts in this thread come across like a teenager who is only going through the questioning of the world phase. And I do have a lot of sympathy for you as I went through a six month period of 'weirdness' too when I finally got out of financial survival mode, got a little comfortable and had to decide what the next phase in my life would be! You'll get there!

Ever since I was a teenager I wanted to achieve financial independence. At first it was just for myself. I wanted to get rich. But then I learned that my mother dreamed of having a house in the countryside (and there was no way in the world she would ever afford it). This became my core motivation to keep going. I failed for years and years.

I went through multiple cycles of despair but each time I tried again because there was more at stake than me. My mother was supportive but at the same time she kept thinking I should go back to college (I dropped out because I absolutely hated it).

I eventually made enough money to buy a big lot in the countryside. We searched for it for almost 2 years. In the end we bought by far the best land possible that wasn't originally for sale. My parents moved there after about 2 years of construction and have enjoyed their retirement since then.

This was by far the best thing I've ever achieved in my life. I doubt that anything will ever compare with that. If it weren't for my business and money it generated, they would be stuck in an apartment with F*ck all to do.

It's very possible my father would have turned alcoholic because he would have nothing to do. Now he has lots to do around the house. It has brought him immense satisfaction and meaning. My mother is also extremely happy as she loves taking care of her garden.

Once my parents settled in and no longer needed my financial assistance, I lost the core motivation in my life. Since then, I've been unable to find such a strong motivator. I don't care about myself as much as I care about providing for others.

I help my girlfriend all the time and try to be useful and supportive for my friends. I even helped my girlfriend's friend start her own business and supported her throughout her doubts, even while her own boyfriend didn't provide much assistance.

Still, none of it matches the motivation I had to turn a lifelong dream of my mom come true.

I don't care much about supporting some organizations or strangers because I don't have the emotional connection with them. I know @biophase that you're very involved with that and I admire your drive. I can't find the empathy in myself, or maybe I just haven't found the right cause yet.

 

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[Black_Dragon43]

True, except it can work for non-emergency services in the UK, and the deal wasn't how I'd normally do them for these US clients.

If it can work, but it’s harder to work, I’d still focus all your marketing energy trying to go after the emergency services. They are your golden goose clients.

The hardest thing about business is trying to learn from your market and changing your business model accordingly.

That’s what stops you from scaling. A client who isn’t a good fit slows you down more than they add money to the coffers usually.

I am trying to do the same thing — learn what’s the difference between those who stay with us 1-year or more vs those who don’t. I’d say this is the most important thing.

Basically you need to treat your business like a startup vs a “regular” business. What do startups do? They ask their customers questions, they figure out what they really need, they figure out who benefits and who doesn’t, they figure out what parts of the service they value and what parts they don’t, they figure out if their pricepoint is right or not and all the rest of it.

Whereas a regular business just tries to sell what it has. Say a hair saloon just tries to sell doing your hair — they’re F*cked. Takes them 20-30 years to open 20 locations and scale to millions.

Why?

Because there’s no product-market fit.

Whereas a startup, once product market fit is found can scale to millions in months.

So this year I’m trying to adopt that same mentality. I’m asking questions such as “Hmm interesting. Most people who stay with us for 1-year or more are on our basic service. So is it really worth it to even offer appointment setting?”

You need to ask the tough questions that get you to change your business model so you achieve product market fit. Then scale.

Trying to scale before that makes you like the hair saloon. That’s what I realized these past months as I was pondering (or rather obsessing about) how we can 10x again this year

 

[MTF]

Just read through the entire thread and boy is there some gold here.

That being said, the one thing that jumped out to me that I'm surprised nobody mentioned was your excuse for not wanting to have a physical business in Poland. If Poland and NATO become involved in this war I think having a physical or digital business would be the least of any of our concerns. Yes, hedge for these things by not having all your eggs in one basket or having a few assets held overseas but to dismiss starting a physical business entirely, for this reason seems bizarre to me. It sounds somewhat similar to when an employee says they don't want to start a business because the economy could collapse/a pandemic could shut us all down again/ insert black swan event here. Yes, all those concerns are valid but being an entrepreneur is about taking calculated risks and hedging against downside.

You also mentioned in that post about not wanting to be drafted and having a plan to leave the country. I find that mindset a bit bizarre too and it plays in to what you've mentioned and others too about finding your purpose and what you care about. If you care about nothing then you will find meaning in absolutely nothing you set out to do. There is no strategy, hack or words of advice that can be posted here that will change that. You just gotta figure it out for yourself.

And just to clarify, yes, there is something to be said for wanting to avoid being deployed overseas by elites to die in a war not of your own making, started for dodgy reasons and to no benefit of you or anyone you know. It's another thing to recognize that yes I dislike my government, yes a bunch of people in my country suck but if someone decides to come to invade my hometown, with my family and my people. I will take a stand against that.

"Those who stand for nothing, fall for anything" - Alexander Hamilton.

I don't believe there's any meaning in life but there's absolutely ZERO reason to die for some bullshit made up by F*cking apes. Every single war is started by a retarded human being who is incapable of using reason and resorts to primal (read: imbecile) use of violence.

The place I was born was a complete accident. I could have been been born a few hundred kilometers west or a few thousand kilometers south. Why would I die for a completely random piece of land?

I have zero loyalty to the piece of land I was born on. I would not throw my life away to participate in a war I had nothing to do with.

Just as you would hand over all your stuff if you were robbed, why would you not go away if you were threatened with an army of half-witted apes? Why in that case would you decide to protect your stuff over your life?

Okay, maybe you mean protecting other people but then aren't they egoistic if they decide to stay there and force you to die with them to protect their stuff instead of fleeing?

Lots of Jews escaped Europe before WW2 and they were able to live peaceful, happy lives instead of dying after experiencing some of the most appalling atrocities in human history.

Were they "bad" because they were not taking a stand against the Nazis and instead chose to protect their own lives? Would you seriously give more respect to a father who decided to stay and fight instead of taking his entire family away and giving them a great life somewhere else, with him by their side?

But maybe let's not continue this discussion as I think this is a political topic.

 

[MTF]

My question to you is... Why? Why chase something you don't like? You flat out don't like business. It scares you, inconveniences you, exhausts you and angers you. What's the point? You can't buy more nothing. You can't buy less responsibilities than you have.

After some consideration, there are a few main reasons:

• Business gives me some self-worth (if things are going well). And I know it's not good to tie your self-worth to your business but that's the case for me nonetheless. Who doesn't like winning?
• I like working on something. I do work a lot on my sports and languages but that's not as productive as running a business generating real money.
• I would like to have extra financial security. I know this can be never-ending but I feel I would feel much safer with 2-3x my current net worth.
• I like creating things and business is the only canvas in which I feel I can create something. I suck at any other art as I'm not an aesthetic person. But admittedly, I like creating businesses way more than running them.
• I like investing and with more money, you get access to more interesting investment opportunities.
• As mentioned before, there are some expensive things I would like to buy (vacation houses) and I wouldn't be able to afford them now (not in cash, and I refuse to have any debt).

I agree with many of your points. I think I'm in this weird position where I'm not fully a businessman but not fully a hippie, either. I still think about business every single day and always analyze various businesses, whether it's a local restaurant, vacation rental, or anything else I come in contact with.

 

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[MTF]

Not sure who needs to hear this…

When you take a lot of swings & keep getting misses, mood goes to shit, energy gets depleted.
Before you know it, yeah, it’s not hard to get into feeling worthless. When at that bottom, it’s hard being productive.

Scratch that, it’s hard everything. Even hobbies that seemed like super fun before can look like too much effort.

Humans need small wins to feel good. It doesn’t matter what, just better than before.

And BUSINESS is that crazy roller coaster of emotions. Everything is amplified. Downs are profoundly crushing, highs are euphoric.

You go for something big, you miss and regret, defeatism hits you like a ton of bricks. “Why even F*cking bother?”crosses your mind. But if you get some mojo back - try again, then again and again, then boom a little win! It feels like someone turns on light in a dark room. It feels like morning sun after a week of shit weather, gloomy rain etc. That spring in the step thinking “yeah, I F*cking got this now, I always knew I could” but you didn’t. Just moments ago you felt defeated! It all disappears and appears.

I’ve never had it easy in business. Lately I think that those who claim ‘easy’ are lying, that everyone faced a lot of hard. And the difference between those who make it is that they hang on longer than those who don’t. They try more things and get those little and big wins just often enough to keep going.

After a decade or two, maybe it’s brain scar tissue that numbs some of the lows enough not shrug them yet the highs tend to stay high.

@MTF I can see how having “retired” and having not had any wins is F*cking with your brain. I’ve said it in this thread once already, I don’t think your “misses” are your fault when your specific work… odds are just against wins. But stacking misses on top of each other is indeed depressing as F*ck. I’d know... So you just need a few wins.

Catch-22: can’t win without trying, can’t ry without a win to lift you up.

No idea what you can do from here. But I know it’s all just in your head, so theoretically, you should be able to just change your mind.

P.S. @biophase example of doing it for others is great. I relate with my kid, I can be sick, exhausted whatever… if my kiddo needs me, I’ll stay up all night and it’ll be just fine.

Thank you for that. I appreciate it a lot and deeply relate to it.

I'm just not sure why this sense of winning mostly comes from business for me.

I started learning French in December and can already hold long conversations. Yet I don't really count this as a big win and it doesn't give me any noticeable sense of accomplishment (otherwise I wouldn't feel worthless).

Freediving does give me that sense but only if I'm freediving. Once I can't do it anymore (like now), that sense of worth goes away even though I've faced ridiculous odds against me and struggled immensely to get where I am now.

I'm struggling to remember anything that would give me a bigger and more long-lasting sense of winning than business.

 

[MTF]

People are highlighting it now but I asked earlier in the thread why do you want to do this

Maybe wanting 3 different houses so you don't have to stay in Airbnbs isn't strong enough, quite frankly it sounds ridiculous

I'd take the inconvenience of Airbnb over starting a business strong enough to buy 3 $1m homes and then having to manage and upkeep them all

I responded to @Kak with some reasons why.

As for specifically the houses, maybe you haven't traveled enough yet lol.

It does get very tiring after a while to constantly have negative surprises even though you spent days making sure the place meets all your requirements.

Shitty Internet, loud noises outside, terrible water pressure, broken showers, lack of privacy, uncomfortable bed, issues with cleanliness, lack of basic kitchen utensils, lack of nice outdoor furniture, and so many more things can go wrong and they're hard to verify unless you actually get there.

I've gotten way better over the years in avoiding such places but it's still rare to find a place that meets all your basic requirements. So I would just love to have something that is 100% suited for my needs. Just get some basic stuff, fly there when you're tired of your current location (like for me in the fall in Poland), and resume your routine right away in a comfortable bed in a house you love.

I'm not sure if you follow him but Andrew the Nomad Capitalist talks about that as well, for example in this video:

View: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DjfuAXzyTp0


You can skip to 9:23 for the main point.

 

[MTF]

I want to echo what both @Antifragile and @Black_Dragon43 have said here...

Business can really wreck your mental state if you let it. It's not sunshine and unicorns for me either. I mentally struggle over losing battles, frustrating setbacks, and uninspiring wins almost constantly. There is no relief from it either because once you solve or settle one thing, it's on to the next.

I could very easily slip into some seriously ugly mindsets and attitudes. For me it's not about staying positive or any stupid new agey things people tout. It's just my responsibility and I deal with it. When I solve it, it creates a new lesson that makes me stronger to tackle the next problem.

Not a single successful business person I know had it easy. Any entrepreneur could, if not careful, spiral into a depressive mindset.

God help DJ Kalhed if "all I do is win" isn't bs. If all someone does is win, they have learned very little and on a long enough timeline are absolutely screwed.

I appreciate this a lot, Kyle. I know we have our differences (with @Antifragile as well) but I always imagine you two guys as people who have it all figured out, absolutely love your businesses, and never really struggle much.

This is very important food for thought for me so thank you for that.

 

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[MTF]

I deliberately go for quick wins @MTF. I've mentioned this already and I think you've agreed it's helpful

Whenever I read your new projects @MTF, I always pop in and try to nudge you towards making faster progress. Your steps always seem along the lines of "let's spend 3 months creating 100 articles and then hopefully X will be achieved".

Yes, it's helpful and I'm standing by my declaration that from now on I'll only go after businesses that I can validate quickly and get a real, paying customer as soon as possible (days at most if possible).

 

[Andy Black]

Yes, it's helpful and I'm standing by my declaration that from now on I'll only go after businesses that I can validate quickly and get a real, paying customer as soon as possible (days at most if possible).

Also, consider (quickly) building a machine/funnel that gets a steady stream of visitors like clockwork, and then trying different money nozzles on the end to get revenue. That's you finding a product for the market rather than a market for your product.

Just my 2c. Lots of ways to skin this cat.